We’re all poisonous now

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Last updated on July 16th, 2017 at 09:24 am

A first step towards banning everything:

The Kansas Department of Health and Environment yesterday became the first government agency in the United States to cite carbon dioxide emissions as the reason for rejecting an air permit for a proposed coal-fired electricity generating plant, saying that the greenhouse gas threatens public health and the environment.

Next: the Kansas Department of Health and Environment outlaws itself. Meanwhile, Britain plans to ban Al Gore:

Alan Johnson, the Secretary of State for Health, warned yesterday that Britain’s obesity crisis is as serious as climate change …

Posted by Tim B. on 10/21/2007 at 12:29 PM
    1. Each day, every day, the world goes a bit more mad.

      And yes, it can only be, it HAS to be, all George Bush’s fault.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 10 21 at 12:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. And so their energy will come from …..where?

      Posted by Merlin on 2007 10 21 at 12:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, they’ll get their energy from wind farms.  Unless, of course, they have some pasty-faced, alcoholic politician living in the neighborhood who doesn’t want windmills messing up his view.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 21 at 12:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. #2: My guess is they’ll try to harness the power of cyclones. Good luck, folks!

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 01:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. Where will they get electricity? Maybe hydrogen will be imported from China, where they open a new power plant every week.

      Of course it will cost 10 times as much and be 100 times dirtier.

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 10 21 at 01:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe when Al shows up to receive his award in Oslo, they’ll give him a year’s subscription to this instead of a medal.

      And when the lights go out in Kansas, look for the brass of the Kansas Department of Health and Environment to relocate to Missouri (under cover of darkest Kansas night, wearing false beards, and with their John Deere caps pulled down low).

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 01:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. What they REALLY need is an equivalent set of pebble-bed nuclear reactors.

      Either that, or tap some of Kansas’ many free-flowing hydrogen wells…

      Posted by Parker on 2007 10 21 at 01:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Carbon nuts should take the pledge not to use any fossil fuel energy for heating or air conditioning purposes.

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 10 21 at 01:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. #3 RebeccaH

      Oh, they’ll get their energy from wind farms.

      Nope, no wind farms – they’re positively deadly to migrating birds. No, really! There have been efforts to shut down the ones we already have.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 10 21 at 01:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think they should immediately begin to restrict power transmission to Topeka and those other eastern Kansas areas to cut down even more on CO2 emissions.  Maybe something like turning the power off completely for 12 hours a day.  Surely the tree-huggers can exist on 50% of their current wasteful, polluting usage.  Just choose whether to have power during business hours or other times.

      Besides, it doesn’t get that cold in Kansas, does it?

      Watch those italics. The Management.

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 10 21 at 02:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. In the spirit of reducing carbon emissions, I am reducing italics emissions.

      Fixed. The Mgmnt.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 02:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. uh-oh.

      I said fixed. T. M.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 02:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. Meanwhile, back at the ranch…..

      Spiny is right, wind farms kill birds, therefore wind farms (the renewable energy source, doncha know?) are evil.

      What I wouldn’t give for an outsized cluebat, so I smack that idiot governor of Kansas.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 02:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. You know, if you put “ban Al Gore” together you get “Banal Gore,” which I think is, like, karmic perfection, man.

      However, if you just split it up differently, you get “B. Anal Gore,” which is positively pluperfect on the astral plane.

      Posted by Hucbald on 2007 10 21 at 03:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh goody.  Another case of italicitis.

      Posted by Hucbald on 2007 10 21 at 03:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Next thing you know, they’re going to outlaw breathing.  Only for the proles, of course.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 21 at 04:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. Meanwhile, global warming continues to be blamed for rising seas which threaten to swamp major cities, even though when you read several paragraphs down, it appears the real culprit is sinking land.  AOL News headlined this story “Bangkok Sinking Under Rising Seas”.  It’s worth noting the sea is rising a tenth of an inch a year, while the land under Bangkok is sinking four inches a year because of their habit of pumping fresh water out of their aquifer.

      BUT GLOBAL WARMING IS TO BLAME!

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 21 at 04:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Italics fixed. Please do not fix formatting mistakes on your own—there are cross-browser compatibility issues when you do and you often make things worse.

      I have spoken.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 10 21 at 04:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Baby harp seals emit carbon dioxide.
      So do puppies and kittens and polar bears and butterflies.
      Save the planet! Kill puppies and butterflies!

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 10 21 at 04:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. And I suppose Bush wasn’t responsible for this?

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 04:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. My God, his power is increasing… exponentially!

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 10 21 at 04:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Next thing you know, they’re going to outlaw breathing.

      saltydog, they’ll allow inhaling; that doesn’t produce carbon.  It’s exhaling that’ll be illegal.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 04:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #21: Oh, it’s obvious to the alert mind. Why else would these guys have been spotted arriving at the New Delhi airport a couple of days before the “accident”.

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 04:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. Many government buildings, temples and residential neighborhoods in New Delhi are overrun by Rhesus macaques, which scare passers-by and occasionally bite or snatch food from unsuspecting visitors.

      Sounds like the nutroots here in the states…and especially
      here.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 04:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. #24 RJ: The main difference is that there’s no evidence of a Rhesus monkey ever going in for scrotal inflation. And this is merely anecdotal, not statistically valid, but I’ve personally never seen one wearing a Che t-shirt.

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 05:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, then, paco, how about we swap the nutroots population of the United States for the Rhesus monkeys?  The monkeys can vote here, and the Indians can take care of the nutroots there.  Permanently.  Especially when they see scrotal inflation demonstrated; I’ll take monkey poop over that any day.

      It’s a win-win for all!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 05:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. #26: Hey, I’m on board with that idea. The nutroots can find all the sacred cows they want in India.

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 05:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Do you think we could scam the gullible left by measuring how much “pollution” was exhaled in each breath?

      Posted by Rob Read on 2007 10 21 at 05:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. #28: Hey, that’s no scam, that’s solid science. Whenever a lefty exhales, that is pollution.

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 05:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. #20 — Wait until he unleashes them at the DNC…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 21 at 05:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. I have the solution for the Rhesus monkey problem.  Send in a platoon of Special Forces squirrels.  That’ll take care of those troublesome monkeys, and maybe an Islamist terrorist or two as well.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 21 at 05:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. #30: Brilliant! They’ll blend right in.

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 05:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, maybe Gore’s bloat isn’t fat at all.  Maybe he’s just holding his breath.

      Nah.  Wrong color.

      Maybe we could convince him to hold his breath–for the good of the Earth, of course.  Given his personality, I’m sure he has experience at this.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 21 at 06:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Okay.

      I’m beginning to move beyond merely talking about—dissing, mocking, etc.—Orwell, into seeing it as a serious problem.

      Check this out:
      http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/education/article2698062.ece

      Posted by MissM on 2007 10 21 at 06:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. 26 JeffS

      Trust me, you don’t want roving bands of Rhesus monkeys here in the states.  They are smart, super quick, and they work as a team.  They are way beyond a nuisance.  With them around, I’d go everywhere with a pair of .32 autos; one in each hand.

      Posted by Hucbald on 2007 10 21 at 06:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. I dreamt of the worm last night.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 10 21 at 06:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Just in time for Halloween!

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 06:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. With them around, I’d go everywhere with a pair of .32 autos; one in each hand.

      I take your meaning, Hucbald.  But considering how much the nutroots inspires me to value personal firepower, that’s not much of a change.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 06:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. Rebecca, that’s inspired!  But taking a page from Hucbald, maybe we should send the Rhesus monkeys into Iraq.  Anything would be an improvement there.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 06:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. Re #34, MissM, that is a disturbing application of RF ID tags.  The entire justification in that article comes down “It’s for the children!” Yeesh!

      And while I am O/T, here’s another disturbing trend in RF ID technology.  Voluntary or not, whenever Chertoff expresses approval of an idea, it’s time to watch your wallet.  And your backside.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 21 at 06:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. This clown Johnson is a realmoron.  How can he differentiate between fatness and GW….fat slobbery is CAUSED by GW.

      Or should that be GWB?  I’m confused

      Posted by Rod C on 2007 10 21 at 06:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. Just how bad is the effects of cousins marrying??
      Check out this mental giant.“Mayor Ray Nagin said he worries that slayings in the city make it seem dangerous, but news of such crimes “keeps the New Orleans brand out there.”

      then “One good thing you can look at is, a lot of visitors have come to the city and their expectations were so lowered that they were pleasantly surprised,” she said.”

      what a bunch of maroons.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 10 21 at 07:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #22

      saltydog, they’ll allow inhaling; that doesn’t produce carbon.  It’s exhaling that’ll be illegal.

      Oh, goodie. Asthmatics should get a discount!

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 21 at 07:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. #25
      scrotal inflation*scrotal. inflation.

      Why?**

      * Mikey Moore?

      (**No. Don’t answer. It’s rhetorical.)

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 21 at 07:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. #33
      He has personality?

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 21 at 07:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. Phatty delighting in Spring and rainfall … or further losing it?

      It’s all symptomatic of an early spring. After an alarmingly mild winter* … We’re not convinced the drought has broken but it’s certainly cracked. The creek, dry for six years, is flowing, the baked dams are brimming …

      *One of the coldest in 10-20 years up here on the ranges, d*ckhead.
      It must be warm with your head up your arse.
      Cold n dry go together, that’s why the la nina stalled, jackass …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 21 at 07:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. TRJS, Huc & Bec back macaques in Iraq!

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 21 at 07:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. #42
      No news is bad news!

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 21 at 07:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. #46
      LOLZ, he’s a great source of material to ridicule, as are so many other blind fools.
      I hope Phatso doesn’t become ill…
      Noone to laugh at…

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 21 at 07:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. #36 1.6
      Nightmares of the Rudder?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 21 at 07:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. #50
      Troll.

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 21 at 07:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. #52
      Yup, trolls in the DEBATE DEBATE DEBATE thread, too.
      Seems others roughly coincide with Hero Schema …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 21 at 07:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. #50
      Nah, the worm’s prolly too big for it to be the Rudder.
      You’re not Little Boy, by chance?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 21 at 07:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. #50: Same troll as the one we had before, posting pictures of his mom.

      Posted by paco on 2007 10 21 at 08:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. #36 I dreamt of the worm last night

      A happy dream?

      Was I in it?

      Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 10 21 at 08:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. wind farms kill birds, therefore wind farms (the renewable energy source, doncha know?) are evil.

      ✖ ethanol is bad because of “unsustainable” farming and disrupts food supplies
      ✖ wind is bad because it kills birds and might alter the jet stream and could be dangerous if it collapsed
      ✖ hydro is bad because the reservoir disrupts nature and nature is disrupted downstream (occasional exception : if it is already built in which case it might be called ideal)
      ✖ geothermal is bad because it can cause earthquakes
      ✖ solar is bad because covering anything with solar panels disrupts nature
      ✖ nuclear is bad because of radiation, nuclear waste and (a lot of greenies include this) nuclear reactors are needed to make nuclear weapons
      ✖ solar panels in space are bad because GWB would use the energy transmitter as a death ray
      ✖ Oil, natural gas, coal and breathing are bad because they releases CO2

      And since greens often are incapable of weighing pros and cons then nothing is acceptable unless they say so.

      Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 10 21 at 08:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. “✖ solar panels in space are bad because GWB would use the energy transmitter as a death ray”

      I hadn’t heard that one before.  Am I evil because I think of that as less of a bug, more of a feature?

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2007 10 21 at 09:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. This is nothing. The US Surgeon General is now reviewing documents and evidence that proves, once and for all, that:

      Living is the #1 Cause of Dieing in the World Today!

      To prevent the spread of this disease and the destruction it causes, the plan is to make Life a proscribed substance.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 10 21 at 11:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. #56 – You’re off base with your observation on already built hydro plants.  The Seattle City COuncil, having solved every other problem, riddle, and conundrum presented it, passed a resolution that the communities in Eastern Washington should dismantle their dams along the Snake River.  For the salmon, oddly enough, and not the children.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 10 22 at 12:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #51 huh? 1.618 is now a troll? “Quirky”, maybe, but no troll.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 10 22 at 01:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #34 #40 the thing that leftists don’t get is that Orwell’s warnings were entirely about leftism.
      RWDB’s just don’t have that nanny-state impulse the way socialists do.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 10 22 at 01:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. #60
      We had a troll.
      It’s been despatched.
      Numbers are askew.

      Posted by kae on 2007 10 22 at 01:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Seattle City COuncil, having solved every other problem, riddle, and conundrum presented it, passed a resolution that the communities in Eastern Washington should dismantle their dams along the Snake River.

      I missed that one, Steve, which is a shame, as I live in eastern Washington.  I would have expressed my dissent in a suitable fashion, i.e., facing n the direction of Seattle and showing that City Council The Bird.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 22 at 02:25 AM • permalink

 

  1. #60 ahhh…..
    okay, everything is clear now. Thanks.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 10 22 at 02:34 AM • permalink