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Last updated on July 2nd, 2017 at 08:29 am

A superb beclowning committed by Iowa Democrat Mike Gronstal:

Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, D-Council Bluffs, dismissed the concerns of the global warming doubters.

“They should move to Australia,” Gronstal said. “Ostriches put their head in the sand.”

And a fine response from Iowa State University College of Design associate professor Michael Martin:

Noted climatologist Mike Gronstal says global warming doubters “should move to Australia,” because “ostriches put their head in the sand.”

In related news, a spokesman for the Ratite Anti-Defamation League said Mike Gronstal “should move back to grade school,” because “Senate Majority Leaders put their foot in their mouth” when they perpetuate long-discredited myths about animal behavior.

Or when, while heaping ridicule upon others, they make ridicule-worthy statements. As any fourth-grader knows, ostriches are native to Africa.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/05/2008 at 11:03 AM
    1. Maybe it was the grief talking for the senator after his baby was carried off by a Canadian dingo?

      Posted by andycanuck on 2008 02 05 at 11:43 AM • permalink


    1. Meanwhile, in Milwaukee we’re getting ready for another 10 inches of snow (in metric, that’s three and a half hectares, or five barleycorns short of a joule).
      This on top of the massive amount of snow already fallen.
      I’m calling my hero, SnowPlowMan.

      Posted by Merlin on 2008 02 05 at 11:45 AM • permalink


    1. Sounds like Iowahawk has his work cut out for him.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 05 at 11:50 AM • permalink


    1. Looks like he exhibited perfectly normal behavior for a Democrat and buried his head up his own ass…..

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 12:01 PM • permalink


    1. Maybe Gronstal just got a little confused. Yeah, that’s it. He was probably thinking of the koala that got its head stuck in a fence.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 05 at 12:01 PM • permalink


    1. And if you asked Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal to look at a map of the world and put a pin in Australia, he’d probably stick it right in the middle of China.  Ignoramus.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 02 05 at 12:13 PM • permalink


    1. This “expert” is a fine example of those who now presume to do our thinking for us.  They are, without exception, perfect mediocrities.  Expect the consequences of their thinking to be commensurate.

      Posted by saltydog on 2008 02 05 at 12:14 PM • permalink


    1. To quote Mark Twain: “Suppose you were an idiot. Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

      Posted by ErnieG on 2008 02 05 at 12:24 PM • permalink


    1. Typical Right Wing response.


      Isn’t Africa part of Australia?

      Posted by watty on 2008 02 05 at 12:30 PM • permalink


    1. #9: Hey, you’re onto something, Watty! Gronstal was probably thinking back to Pangea.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 05 at 12:40 PM • permalink


    1. I think this just means that more whales will wind up dying as a result of collisions with Chinese submarines.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 05 at 01:02 PM • permalink


    1. Ostriches carry their young in pouches until they mature, as covered in the Book of Job.

      [she] leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust,
      And forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them.
      She is hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers : her labour is in vain without fear.

      Hence the need for a pouch.

      They bound around in the outback.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2008 02 05 at 01:25 PM • permalink


    1. #10

      Does this mean Grizzly bears actually shit in the outback?????

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 01:37 PM • permalink


    1. 10

      Gronstal was probably thinking back to Pangea

      HEY! I use that stuff to spray all my skillets, so what is cooking, doesn’t stick.

      Posted by El Cid on 2008 02 05 at 01:46 PM • permalink


    1. Here’s one instance in which George Bush’s half-measures really let us down.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 05 at 01:53 PM • permalink


    1. Paco…from you link.

      Maximum impact, including a particularly nasty staph infection that almost left me dead.

      DAMN! It didn’t Hosie…but George gave it his all.

      Posted by El Cid on 2008 02 05 at 02:07 PM • permalink


    1. Now, I could have stabbed myself 100 times in the hand head and not managed to do the damage I did with that one poke to the inside of my middle finger

      That’s about right…..

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 02:16 PM • permalink


    1. #16: Yeah, nobody’s perfect. He might have been distracted that day.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 05 at 02:16 PM • permalink


    1. Actually, I’ve listened to the tape very closely, and what he actually says is “They should move to Australia,” Gronstal said. “Emus put their head in the vegemite.”

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 02 05 at 02:53 PM • permalink


    1. He’s just trying to stay out of jail, which is where that creep David Suzuki would put unbelievers:

      Suzuki: Jail politicians who ignore science

      Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2008 02 05 at 02:58 PM • permalink


    1. Between people like this idiot congressman who think the universe revolves around mankind (which is what this AGW hoax actually is), and fundamentalist muslims, it feels like we are living in medieval times again.

      Posted by Latino on 2008 02 05 at 03:07 PM • permalink


    1. No wonder the Australian polar bears are nearly extinct, what with their favorite Ostriches having migrated to Africa.

      Posted by Director on 2008 02 05 at 03:53 PM • permalink


    1. Er.  That’s what scientists call a “myth”, senator.  Ostriches don’t actually put their heads in the sand.  That was a story perpetuated by the noted Roman fabulist, Pliny the Elder.  They don’t really, since that would be an astoundingly bad move on their part and they would not survive to pass the “bloody stupid” gene onto their children.  Instead, they lower their heads to ground level so they can get a good read on what’s going on around them.  From that angle, they can see if anything nearby is moving.  Humans, however, seem very good at passing on the “bloody stupid” gene, as your comment indicates.

      Actually, Pliny the Elder makes for some interesting reading, showing what the scientific “consensus” was in Roman times.  Apparently, the best way to cure epilepsy is to eat bear testes.  That the water sheep and cattle drink turn them different colors.  That a porcupine can shoot its quills.  Frogs melt into a sort of slime in the fall and re-emerge as frogs again in the spring.  That the best way to protect apples from insects was to have a menstruating woman walk around the orchard naked.  That elephants are afraid of mice.  Well, ok, apparently he got that last one somewhat right*, but the rest… not so much.  And he was one of the most respected natural scientists for ages.

      *See Mythbusters, episode “Shooting Fish in a Barrel”

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 05 at 04:44 PM • permalink


    1. Every school child knows that emus live in Austria, just at the foot of the Alps.

      Posted by surfmaster on 2008 02 05 at 05:45 PM • permalink


    1. Always nice to see a lefty, who thinks he knows everything, reveal himself to be an ignorant ass.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2008 02 05 at 05:47 PM • permalink


    1. OT: Anyone else havig trouble getting into Andrew Bolt’s blog?

      Posted by SandiM on 2008 02 05 at 06:07 PM • permalink


    1. Ostrich tastes like chicken.

      Posted by Penguin on 2008 02 05 at 06:30 PM • permalink


    1. #27, thats a common misconception.  Ostrich tastes like Penguin.

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 05 at 06:34 PM • permalink


    1. Gronstal will have to get a there are no ostriches in Australia tee-shirt to add to his there are no kangaroos in Austria tee-shirt on his alleged travels

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 05 at 06:35 PM • permalink


    1. yeah it’s been down since last night – some database error.  It wouldn’t surprise me if someone tried to ddos / hack it.

      Posted by peter m on 2008 02 05 at 06:36 PM • permalink


    1. 26, Sandi: I had no trouble just now, but there was an entry at the top of the page that confirms he has access problems.  BTW, on the second page there’s a link under the heading, “First, be rational” that’s worth checking out.  It’s 10 things enviros need to get through their heads (it’s polite, so there’s no mention of .45 cal. projectiles, either). Oh, and don’t miss the comments.

      Posted by Celaeno on 2008 02 05 at 06:38 PM • permalink


    1. #28
      And penguin tastes like lizard.

      Posted by lotocoti on 2008 02 05 at 06:43 PM • permalink


    1. This is here only because it happened in Sydney.

      This got the whole of Sydney Australia laughing. Read it and you’ll see

      Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.
      Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.

      The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is
      called “Mate Match”. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are
      married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant
      answers”yes”,he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal

      The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with
      number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three
      questions correctly, they both win the prize.

      One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City
      drop to its knees with laughter.

      Anyway, here’s how it all went down:
      DJ: “Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?”

      Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”

      DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if
      you win. What is your name? First only please.”

      Contestant: “Brian.”

      DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”

      Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”

      DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”

      Brian: “Sara.”

      DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”

      Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”

      DJ: “Okay, first question – when was the last time you had sex?”

      Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”

      DJ: “Question #2 – How long did it last?”

      Brian: “About 10 minutes.”

      DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said
      that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”

      Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”

      DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock this

      Brian: “On the kitchen table.”

      Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife’s work number and
      call her up.

      DJ: “Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?” (Touch

      Clerk: “Kinkos.”

      DJ: “Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?”

      Clerk: “This is she.”

      DJ: “Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and
      I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”

      Sarah: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”

      DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to
      give any\answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules
      of ‘Mate Match’?”

      Sarah: “No.”

      DJ: “Good!”

      Brian: (laughing)

      Sarah: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”

      Brian: (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
      completely honest.”

      DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If
      your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off
      tothe Gold Coast for 5 days on us.

      Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”

      DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?”

      Sarah: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”

      DJ: “What time?”

      Sarah: “Around 8 this morning.”

      DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”

      Sarah: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”

      DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect is
      manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away
      from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?”

      Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”

      DJ: “Where did you have it?”

      Sarah: “OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?”

      Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”

      DJ: “What is bothering you so much, Sarah?”

      Sarah: “Well…”

      DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?

      Sarah: “Up the arse…..”

      They had to call an ambulance for the DJ. He thought he was going to
      have a heart attack , he could not stop laughing. Apparently there was
      an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police just after this
      conversation, for minor traffic collisions.

      Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2008 02 05 at 06:51 PM • permalink


    1. No wonder American don’t know ostriches from emus.

      Every Hollywood movie with even the tiniest bit of tropical foliage (Lost, Tarzan, King Kong to name a few) feature the exotic call of the KOOKABURRA.

      A bird whose call is virtually synonymous with this country yet Hollywood plonks in places from Angola to Zambia.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2008 02 05 at 06:55 PM • permalink


    1. #33, they’ve got the cities mixed up, FOX FM is in Melbourne – its sister station in Sydney is 2DAY FM (pedant mode off)

      Posted by craigo on 2008 02 05 at 06:56 PM • permalink


    1. I beg to differ with a point made by Tim Blair.

      Ostridges “are too”, native to Australia.

      Haven’t you ever watched “Hey Hey, it’s Saturday”?

      Posted by Admonkeystrator on 2008 02 05 at 06:56 PM • permalink


    1. #33 Gary
      Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.
      Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
      Gees Gary a we don’t have a FOXFM in Sinney. I think you mean Melburn mate.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2008 02 05 at 06:58 PM • permalink


    1. #34, not only that, but every frog in the world apparently sounds like the type that lives only in the hills near Hollywood.

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 05 at 06:59 PM • permalink


    1. BTW, it was a funny story but I think it’s apocryphal – although I wouldn’t put it past Kyle Sandilands (2DAY FM’s breakfast DJ) to pull a stunt like that.

      Posted by craigo on 2008 02 05 at 06:59 PM • permalink


    1. #s 27, 28 & 32

      And lizard tastes like chicken.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 02 05 at 07:15 PM • permalink


    1. Back to the topic, maybe Mike Gronstal has paid a visit to Esk or Bacchus Marsh but I think that it’s probably the old ostrich/emu confusion.

      BTW, knowing Tim and his subtlety, I like the title of the thread.  I think it’s a play on the famous line in the 1970s King Gee ad where the bloke in the sailor’s gear tells the charter boat owner to do as he says because “I know boats” and then promptly falls through the bottom of the dinghy when stepping off the wharf.  For years after, everyone would tell a know-all that they ‘know’ boats.

      Posted by craigo on 2008 02 05 at 07:22 PM • permalink


    1. #31 Celaeno: Thanks for the tip.

      Yesterday I got error messages several times and today couldn’t get in at all. I went through the main SMH page, still no go. Tried to send AB an email but it bounced. Then I went through the bloggers tab and got in. I noticed in the comments in one post a note about not being able to get in and email bouncing. Maybe they’ve got it fixed.

      Posted by SandiM on 2008 02 05 at 07:26 PM • permalink


    1. #40
      And human tastes like … never mind …

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 05 at 07:31 PM • permalink


    1. Strewth, that bloke should be fed to a Tasmanian tiger.

      While we’re on the topic of glowball warming, those folks in china must be laughing their arses off.  Imagine how bad the weather would be without glowball warming…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 05 at 07:37 PM • permalink


    1. #33 Gary from Jersey,

      Here’s a classic, and yes, you can guess exactly what she said…..

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 07:54 PM • permalink


    1. #27, 28, you two are full of it.  Ostrich tastes just like spotted owl.

      And #44, of course China’s got snow – being exempted from Kyoto they are also exempted from gerbil worming.  That exemption odes not extend to you, however, so pack up all your carbon in a big sack and bury it somewhere so it won’t escape into the atmosphere.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 02 05 at 07:58 PM • permalink


    1. #13:  Is the Pope Lutheran?

      Posted by Vexorg on 2008 02 05 at 08:11 PM • permalink


    1. #28,#32, as Rebecca H has correctly indicated by extrapolation, ostrich tastes like chicken in the long run.

      #46 Steve. Spotted owl tastes like chicken if care is taken in the preparation and it is seasoned correctly. The owl’s diet is also a consideration.

      My point stands.

      Posted by Penguin on 2008 02 05 at 08:24 PM • permalink


    1. #46, Steve, I booked a flight to Hong Kong the other day and was asked if I wanted to purchase a “green ticket”.  Curious i asked what it was, and the cute chick behind the desk informed me that I could pay extra to offset my carbon footprint.

      I responded by asking if I could pay less for a brown ticket, maybe get the pilot to dump some oil into the turbines, or fly on a plane with afterburners.

      Cute chicks aint so cute when they’re giving you an evil look…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 05 at 08:27 PM • permalink


    1. Not a position that I would choose to emulate…

      (oh, and Mike, the Librarian, I tips me lid. Did you know that the type of eruption that occured in 79 AD at Vesuvius, buried the Elder and enfranchised the Younger is today termed a “Plinian” eruption? Whilst I admire both Primus and Secundus, the Younger was a veritable dynamo—crossing through all principal field of Roman organisation in his career. How jealous a historian am I to know Pliny the Younger had both Tacitus and Suetonius on his payroll—the mind boggles.)

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2008 02 05 at 08:36 PM • permalink


    1. “A bird whose call is virtually synonymous with this country yet Hollywood plonks in places from Angola to Zambia.”

      There was an exotic bird farm near where I grew up (neat place, thousands of types of birds from all over the world).  It was years before I realized that the Kookaburra calls I was hearing weren’t native bird calls, but were coming from prisoners at the bird farm.

      I’d hear bird calls in Tarzan movies and think “Neat, they have the same kind of birds in Africa that we have here in America!”

      Live and learn.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2008 02 05 at 08:37 PM • permalink


    1. Ummmm, guys?  Haven’t read through all the comments, so someone else may have mentioned it,  but to the people calling this clown a congresscritter, he’s majority leader of the IOWA state senate.

      He’s still an idiot – just a local idiot.

      Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2008 02 05 at 08:44 PM • permalink


    1. On Ozzie Ostriches and Media Watch

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 05 at 09:06 PM • permalink


    1. #52
      Tks … was more’n a li’l concerned about a clown like that being close to the top of the only remaining superpower …

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 05 at 09:08 PM • permalink


    1. Barbara, I believe that Iowa was the state that, back in the late 1800’s or early 1900’s, tried to legislate the value of pi at 3.0!

      Posted by rabidfox on 2008 02 05 at 09:16 PM • permalink


    1. Easy mistake to make. I mean, he probably thought it’s spelled Ostralia…

      Posted by PW on 2008 02 05 at 09:27 PM • permalink


    1. 50 MentalFloss

      Not a position that I would choose to emulate

      Ostrich, ya got there mate.

      Posted by El Cid on 2008 02 05 at 09:32 PM • permalink


    1. Maybe he was referring to the ostrich farms in WA. Or did he mean emus with their heads in the sand in the Kalahari? Fess up Gronstal.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 05 at 09:34 PM • permalink


    1. #55, Rabid, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  <Wipes tear from eye>

      Thats just gold.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 05 at 11:44 PM • permalink


    1. #33 is a put up job.

      I’ve heard that particular scenario before – in Dutch.

      Posted by pog-ma-thon on 2008 02 06 at 12:29 AM • permalink


    1. Man, he just needs to go the India and climb the Eiffel Tower

      Posted by Old school on 2008 02 06 at 07:57 AM • permalink


    1. We need to take Mr. Gronstal to a showing of Strange Wilderness

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 02 06 at 10:57 AM • permalink


    1. #50, I didn’t know that about Plinian eruptions.  However, I have heard that Pliny tried to cobble together a gas mask before rushing to view Vesuvius up close.

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 06 at 01:09 PM • permalink


    1. I’ve also heard that he claimed that flies had four legs, and that he was so respected as a scientist that this “fact” was printed (ok, WRITTEN) in natural philosophy books for centuries and widely believed by scientists.  They never bothered to check.  However, with respect to the senator, this may also be a myth.

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 06 at 01:12 PM • permalink


    1. I saw some emu’s in the US once out the back of a cafe somewhere.

      The proprietor called them “ee-moo’s”.  He didn’t have a clue what I was talking about when I said, “Where did you get them emu’s?”

      Posted by mr creosote on 2008 02 07 at 03:30 AM • permalink


  1. These days I have to ask which one the believer is: a seller or a sucker? Usually they’re just suckers.

    Posted by Srekwah on 2008 02 07 at 04:19 AM • permalink