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Last updated on July 2nd, 2017 at 08:29 am
A superb beclowning committed by Iowa Democrat Mike Gronstal:
Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, D-Council Bluffs, dismissed the concerns of the global warming doubters.
“They should move to Australia,” Gronstal said. “Ostriches put their head in the sand.”
And a fine response from Iowa State University College of Design associate professor Michael Martin:
Noted climatologist Mike Gronstal says global warming doubters “should move to Australia,” because “ostriches put their head in the sand.”
In related news, a spokesman for the Ratite Anti-Defamation League said Mike Gronstal “should move back to grade school,” because “Senate Majority Leaders put their foot in their mouth” when they perpetuate long-discredited myths about animal behavior.
Or when, while heaping ridicule upon others, they make ridicule-worthy statements. As any fourth-grader knows, ostriches are native to Africa.
Sounds like Iowahawk has his work cut out for him.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 05 at 11:50 AM • permalink
Looks like he exhibited perfectly normal behavior for a Democrat and buried his head up his own ass…..
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 12:01 PM • permalink
Maybe Gronstal just got a little confused. Yeah, that’s it. He was probably thinking of the koala that got its head stuck in a fence.
Ostriches carry their young in pouches until they mature, as covered in the Book of Job.
[she] leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust,
And forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them.
She is hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers : her labour is in vain without fear.Hence the need for a pouch.
They bound around in the outback.
Does this mean Grizzly bears actually shit in the outback?????
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 01:37 PM • permalink
Now, I could have stabbed myself 100 times in the
handhead and not managed to do the damage I did with that one poke to the inside of my middle fingerThat’s about right…..
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 02:16 PM • permalink
Actually, I’ve listened to the tape very closely, and what he actually says is “They should move to Australia,” Gronstal said. “Emus put their head in the vegemite.”
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 02 05 at 02:53 PM • permalink
He’s just trying to stay out of jail, which is where that creep David Suzuki would put unbelievers:
Suzuki: Jail politicians who ignore science
Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2008 02 05 at 02:58 PM • permalink
Er. That’s what scientists call a “myth”, senator. Ostriches don’t actually put their heads in the sand. That was a story perpetuated by the noted Roman fabulist, Pliny the Elder. They don’t really, since that would be an astoundingly bad move on their part and they would not survive to pass the “bloody stupid” gene onto their children. Instead, they lower their heads to ground level so they can get a good read on what’s going on around them. From that angle, they can see if anything nearby is moving. Humans, however, seem very good at passing on the “bloody stupid” gene, as your comment indicates.
Actually, Pliny the Elder makes for some interesting reading, showing what the scientific “consensus” was in Roman times. Apparently, the best way to cure epilepsy is to eat bear testes. That the water sheep and cattle drink turn them different colors. That a porcupine can shoot its quills. Frogs melt into a sort of slime in the fall and re-emerge as frogs again in the spring. That the best way to protect apples from insects was to have a menstruating woman walk around the orchard naked. That elephants are afraid of mice. Well, ok, apparently he got that last one somewhat right*, but the rest… not so much. And he was one of the most respected natural scientists for ages.
*See Mythbusters, episode “Shooting Fish in a Barrel”
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 05 at 04:44 PM • permalink
Every school child knows that emus live in Austria, just at the foot of the Alps.
Posted by surfmaster on 2008 02 05 at 05:45 PM • permalink
Always nice to see a lefty, who thinks he knows everything, reveal himself to be an ignorant ass.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2008 02 05 at 05:47 PM • permalink
#27, thats a common misconception. Ostrich tastes like Penguin.
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 05 at 06:34 PM • permalink
26, Sandi: I had no trouble just now, but there was an entry at the top of the page that confirms he has access problems. BTW, on the second page there’s a link under the heading, “First, be rational” that’s worth checking out. It’s 10 things enviros need to get through their heads (it’s polite, so there’s no mention of .45 cal. projectiles, either). Oh, and don’t miss the comments.
This is here only because it happened in Sydney.
This got the whole of Sydney Australia laughing. Read it and you’ll see
why!Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.
Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is
called “Mate Match”. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are
married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant
answers”yes”,he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal
questions.The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with
(phone
number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three
questions correctly, they both win the prize.One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City
drop to its knees with laughter.Anyway, here’s how it all went down:
DJ: “Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?”Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”
DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if
you win. What is your name? First only please.”Contestant: “Brian.”
DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”
Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”
DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”
Brian: “Sara.”
DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”
Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”
DJ: “Okay, first question – when was the last time you had sex?”
Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”
DJ: “Question #2 – How long did it last?”
Brian: “About 10 minutes.”
DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said
that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”
DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock this
morning?Brian: “On the kitchen table.”
Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife’s work number and
call her up.DJ: “Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?” (Touch
tones…..ringing….)Clerk: “Kinkos.”
DJ: “Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?”
Clerk: “This is she.”
DJ: “Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and
I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”Sarah: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”
DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to
give any\answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules
of ‘Mate Match’?”Sarah: “No.”
DJ: “Good!”
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”
Brian: (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
completely honest.”DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If
your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off
tothe Gold Coast for 5 days on us.Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”
DJ: “What time?”
Sarah: “Around 8 this morning.”
DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”
Sarah: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”
DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect is
manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away
from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?”Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Where did you have it?”
Sarah: “OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?”
Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”
DJ: “What is bothering you so much, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Well…”
DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?
Sarah: “Up the arse…..”
They had to call an ambulance for the DJ. He thought he was going to
have a heart attack , he could not stop laughing. Apparently there was
an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police just after this
conversation, for minor traffic collisions.Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2008 02 05 at 06:51 PM • permalink
No wonder American don’t know ostriches from emus.
Every Hollywood movie with even the tiniest bit of tropical foliage (Lost, Tarzan, King Kong to name a few) feature the exotic call of the KOOKABURRA.
A bird whose call is virtually synonymous with this country yet Hollywood plonks in places from Angola to Zambia.
I beg to differ with a point made by Tim Blair.
Ostridges “are too”, native to Australia.
Haven’t you ever watched “Hey Hey, it’s Saturday”?
Posted by Admonkeystrator on 2008 02 05 at 06:56 PM • permalink
#34, not only that, but every frog in the world apparently sounds like the type that lives only in the hills near Hollywood.
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 05 at 06:59 PM • permalink
Back to the topic, maybe Mike Gronstal has paid a visit to Esk or Bacchus Marsh but I think that it’s probably the old ostrich/emu confusion.
BTW, knowing Tim and his subtlety, I like the title of the thread. I think it’s a play on the famous line in the 1970s King Gee ad where the bloke in the sailor’s gear tells the charter boat owner to do as he says because “I know boats” and then promptly falls through the bottom of the dinghy when stepping off the wharf. For years after, everyone would tell a know-all that they ‘know’ boats.
#31 Celaeno: Thanks for the tip.
Yesterday I got error messages several times and today couldn’t get in at all. I went through the main SMH page, still no go. Tried to send AB an email but it bounced. Then I went through the bloggers tab and got in. I noticed in the comments in one post a note about not being able to get in and email bouncing. Maybe they’ve got it fixed.
Strewth, that bloke should be fed to a Tasmanian tiger.
While we’re on the topic of glowball warming, those folks in china must be laughing their arses off. Imagine how bad the weather would be without glowball warming…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 05 at 07:37 PM • permalink
Here’s a classic, and yes, you can guess exactly what she said…..
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 05 at 07:54 PM • permalink
#27, 28, you two are full of it. Ostrich tastes just like spotted owl.
And #44, of course China’s got snow – being exempted from Kyoto they are also exempted from gerbil worming. That exemption odes not extend to you, however, so pack up all your carbon in a big sack and bury it somewhere so it won’t escape into the atmosphere.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 02 05 at 07:58 PM • permalink
#46, Steve, I booked a flight to Hong Kong the other day and was asked if I wanted to purchase a “green ticket”. Curious i asked what it was, and the cute chick behind the desk informed me that I could pay extra to offset my carbon footprint.
I responded by asking if I could pay less for a brown ticket, maybe get the pilot to dump some oil into the turbines, or fly on a plane with afterburners.
Cute chicks aint so cute when they’re giving you an evil look…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 05 at 08:27 PM • permalink
Not a position that I would choose to emulate…
(oh, and Mike, the Librarian, I tips me lid. Did you know that the type of eruption that occured in 79 AD at Vesuvius, buried the Elder and enfranchised the Younger is today termed a “Plinian” eruption? Whilst I admire both Primus and Secundus, the Younger was a veritable dynamo—crossing through all principal field of Roman organisation in his career. How jealous a historian am I to know Pliny the Younger had both Tacitus and Suetonius on his payroll—the mind boggles.)
Posted by MentalFloss on 2008 02 05 at 08:36 PM • permalink
“A bird whose call is virtually synonymous with this country yet Hollywood plonks in places from Angola to Zambia.”
There was an exotic bird farm near where I grew up (neat place, thousands of types of birds from all over the world). It was years before I realized that the Kookaburra calls I was hearing weren’t native bird calls, but were coming from prisoners at the bird farm.
I’d hear bird calls in Tarzan movies and think “Neat, they have the same kind of birds in Africa that we have here in America!”
Live and learn.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2008 02 05 at 08:37 PM • permalink
Ummmm, guys? Haven’t read through all the comments, so someone else may have mentioned it, but to the people calling this clown a congresscritter, he’s majority leader of the IOWA state senate.
He’s still an idiot – just a local idiot.
Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2008 02 05 at 08:44 PM • permalink
#55, Rabid, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! <Wipes tear from eye>
Thats just gold.
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 05 at 11:44 PM • permalink
I’ve heard that particular scenario before – in Dutch.
Posted by pog-ma-thon on 2008 02 06 at 12:29 AM • permalink
Man, he just needs to go the India and climb the Eiffel Tower
Posted by Old school on 2008 02 06 at 07:57 AM • permalink
We need to take Mr. Gronstal to a showing of Strange Wilderness…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 02 06 at 10:57 AM • permalink
#50, I didn’t know that about Plinian eruptions. However, I have heard that Pliny tried to cobble together a gas mask before rushing to view Vesuvius up close.
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 06 at 01:09 PM • permalink
I’ve also heard that he claimed that flies had four legs, and that he was so respected as a scientist that this “fact” was printed (ok, WRITTEN) in natural philosophy books for centuries and widely believed by scientists. They never bothered to check. However, with respect to the senator, this may also be a myth.
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 02 06 at 01:12 PM • permalink
I saw some emu’s in the US once out the back of a cafe somewhere.
The proprietor called them “ee-moo’s”. He didn’t have a clue what I was talking about when I said, “Where did you get them emu’s?”
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 02 07 at 03:30 AM • permalink
Maybe it was the grief talking for the senator after his baby was carried off by a Canadian dingo?