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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 12:08 pm
ABC News (US) wants to know about the ruin visited upon you by global warming:
Witnessing the impact of global warming in your life?
ABC News wants to hear from you. We’re currently producing a report on the increasing changes in our physical environment, and are looking for interesting examples of people coping with the differences in their daily lives. Has your life been directly affected by global warming?
We want to hear and see your stories. Have you noticed changes in your own backyard or hometown? The differences can be large or small — altered blooming schedules, unusual animals that have arrived in your community, higher water levels encroaching on your property.
Please, do go and tell them about the “unusual animals” in your community and the swamping tide that’s wrecking your Iowa commute.
(Via Art Vandelay)
- Oh, that’ll be conclusive.
Next, they’ll ask if we know of any Jews poisoning wells and unmarried women “of a certain age” consorting with the supernatural…Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 06 21 at 12:46 PM • permalink
- Well, the Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup, and last night the Heat won the NBA championship. Clearly, we’re doomed.Posted by WingDynasty on 2006 06 21 at 01:09 PM • permalink
- Here’s what I sent:
I commute via ferry in New York harbor, and I have to say that my commute has been greatly impacted by all these displaced polar bears who have been forced by the melting Arctic Ice Pack to swim farther and farther adrift in search of food, as the Captain quite correctly slows the ferry down to avoid striking them. Plus what with them all then drowning because of exhaustion from the swimming, and you can see that the harbor is becoming quite cluttered with them, thus slowing down many people’s mass-transit commutes. I mean, I’m trying to do the right thing here and ‘nature’ simply is not cooperating.
We’ll see if they contact me for an interview.Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 06 21 at 01:16 PM • permalink
- Here was mine:
Thanks for asking. Because of Global Warming, the rare Ice Sheep of northern Orange County have appeared in my neighborhood, pathetically bleating for coolness. We would like to chill the poor things down with our air conditioners, but that would only compound the problem by burning more fossil fuels. I blame President Bush.
- Here is what I sent….
Actually my life has been impacted greatly by global warming. Everywhere I turn I am exposed to this new religion…unwillingly.
No matter what I read, listen to, or see on the television; I am bombarded each and every day by global warming nonsense. One would think in my sixty years of life (which includes a BS in biology) that I would have seen something, anything, warm up or cool down…nope sorry – no changes in New Jersey.
Forty years ago I studied cyclical environmental changes, and I haven’t seen anything to convince me that global warming is anything more than a talking point for idiots needing a reason to annoy people and the bastardization of many a scientific career.
We had the warmest year since 1897 last summer….if we were in some global warming death spiral, shouldn’t that have been the warmest year since 2004?
Look out the window, not up the butt of some agenda-driven failed presidential candidate. You are making fools of yourselves.
Ya think they’ll publish it?
- Semi-O/T: From the Washington Monthly thread that aaron pointed out comes this (approving!) quote about Algore’s awesome climate-protecting activities (all emphasis mine):
He is a man of deep convictions and consistency: He introduced the first congressional hearings on climate change and has traveled to the North and South poles repeatedly to monitor scientific expeditions.
This stuff is just beyond parody.
- My response to ABC was thus:
What if there is no change? What if southwest Ohio is still having the same crappy unpredictable weather it’s always had? Will you report that story too? Or is the story already written and just needing some anecdotes tacked on?
Al Gore should get a real job and stop bothering us.
- I notice there are a half dozen American Robins on the driveway when I turn around after getting home, just standing there ten feet away looking at me. It may be global warming, or it may be my habit of tossing raisins out.
- I’m in Minnesota, up next to the Canadian border. We’re still waiting for the benefits of global warming to begin.
Frankly, they’re late. I woke up one morning last week, pulled out my shorts, and then looked at the thermometer outside. 42 degrees(F)! Do I call Al Gore directly about this, or is there a Complaint Department for global warming?
- Dear ABC,
My long term health has been impacted by global warming. I live on a golf course. Because of global warming the golfing season has been extended resulting in more and more errant golf balls in my yard. Bending over to pick up more and more golf balls will inevitably lead to back problems that can only be solved by free national health care.Posted by perfectsense on 2006 06 21 at 02:32 PM • permalink
Now that you mention it, the increase in temperature has gotten the yard apes seeking cooler climes. That and a Nutty Buddy.
Translation for all you non-yanks – the neighborhood kids are waiting in the shade listening for the jingle of the ice-cream truck and the indulgence of a summer mid-afternoon ice-cream cone. Real ice-cream, not that coolwhip whipped cream crap the the English try to foist off as ice-cream.Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 06 21 at 03:18 PM • permalink
- I wrote:
Canadian geese flew to MY HOUSE for the winter last year. I live in Ohio. A large man from Thunder Bay, Ont. bought a time share in my shed and spent January there. If I step outside without SPF 60 on to clean up the goose poo I turn redder than the dead, baked dolphins floating down the Cuyahoga River. The Vice President was right! Why did we accept his concession in December 2000?
- And how he got into Bill Clinton’s pajamas isn’t too hard to imagine.Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 21 at 03:34 PM • permalink
Well, the Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup, and last night the Heat won the NBA championship. Clearly, we’re doomed.
But their competition was from the oil belt, Dallas and Edmonton, so it shows that Kyoto is working!Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 21 at 03:40 PM • permalink
- I live in southwest Ohio, and this spring I saw a starving manbearpig in my back yard—much earlier than usual. I’m not kidding; I’m totally serial.Posted by Bud Norton on 2006 06 21 at 04:02 PM • permalink
- When I was a child, professional hockey teams stayed where they belonged, in Canada and godforsaken Northern states like Minnesota and North Dakota. But now that global warming has destroyed their natural habitat, hockey teams have spread out to all kinds of places God never intended. We even have one here in Raleigh. Their victory celebrations and parades through the middle of town are causing terrible traffic problems.
Hockey players and fans, in North Carolina 90-degree weather! It’s a crime against Gaia herself, I tell you. Something must be done.
- And cannibalism has destroyed NHL teams in Winnipeg and Quebec City. Soon children will only be able to see pucks in books.Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 21 at 04:44 PM • permalink
- An excellent one was on Opinionjournal’s Best of the Web today:
“Tharg and me used to hunt mighty mammoth but he scared to cross ice bridge. It now too thin to take weight of even saber cat. Only mouse or rabbit can cross.
Many of my people have left the caves in search of food.
Sister’s daughter’s husband says it because of He-Who-Tamed-Fire. He say smoke from fire anger gods and they make it hot. Medicine Man say he full of mastodon droppings.
Medicine Man say Sun God told him Sun God get belly ache every 200 lifes of man. Belly ache make Sun God hotter, like when Og ate red berries birds don’t touch.
Sun God say it good thing. He say now we can go south past ice to land he call “Iowa.”
He mumble “junk science” and “media hype” and “poorly educated reporters.” We no understand these powerful magic words. We afraid to say words now that Moon God warn us. She say magic words make research grants dry up. We no understand.
Must go, little Ky-Rock need help flaking obsidian.”Posted by Matt in Denver on 2006 06 21 at 04:51 PM • permalink
- I submitted this June 21:
I have noticed lately that the days are getting longer and longer. I can only assume this is caused by an accelerating depletion of the earth’s ozone layer. It is blocking out death-dealing rays of sun for fewer and fewer minutes every day! I can only hope this trend will reverse soon.
By the way, Tim, are you experiencing a similar phenomenon in Australia?
- Come on, guys. These people need something scary to keep the masses entertained and distracted. Otherwise, the masses might begin to notice that there are actual scary things out there ready to end life as you know it. Like jihadists. If you can get people to give up civilization on a voluntary basis, the take-over and enslavement of the West will go much more smoothly and no one will expect anything but a life that is brutish and short – especially if you’re a filthy infidel.
It’s all about oil after all.
- I have noticed lately that the days are getting longer and longer.
In fact, they are getting longer. I demand something be done about this immediately.
- Well, I have noticed that Bigfoot has been coming into town a lot more often lately. He’s taken to mooning around the ice cream parlor and trying to steal kid’s cones, the poor beast. I’m a bit worried that he’ll notice the public swimming pool two blocks over. You ever smelled a wet Bigfoot? Not a pleasant thing.Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 06 21 at 06:21 PM • permalink
- Let’s not forget global warming’s insidious physical effects. Over the years, the excessive heat caused by global warming has caused me to tire more quickly. When I was 20, I was able to exercise for long periods of time without any trouble. As the earth grew warmer, my endurance started decreasing and now, at 40, it’s at an all time low. Also, the depleted ozone layer is causing me to get wrinkles.Posted by Polish Frizzle on 2006 06 21 at 06:23 PM • permalink
- Dear ABC:
Having been a resident of your HQ hometown (NYC) for nearly 2 decades now, I’ve noticed an dramatic increase in the sightings of unusual arrivals in, what we—in Manhattan—all call our backyard, Central Park.
Over my time in residence here, I have made regular—near daily—visits out to my backyard, originally for the peace and quiet of the natural surroundings. Over the last 10 years, or so, one can’t help but notice in the evenings, the park is just overtaken by swarms of homo sapiens running and froliking about, in all manner of posible strenuous exertion—occassioning, at times, trafic jams of people congestion.
While it was just 15-16 years ago that the park was desolate, people rarely venturing out into the quiet of the nature that then existed. The occassional swarm ever spotted were packs of youths on a rampage of what was quaintly referred to as “wilding,” appropos of the natural world of the Park.
These vast increases in the density of the habitat have caused me to make often inconvenient changes to the schedule of my Park visits, so that I might encounter a more serene atmosphere. Formerly, the concept of “schedule” was never an issue, as I could visit the Park whenever and as often I chose.
It seems to me these encounters have been encroaching on my physical environment ever since VP Gore signed the Kyoto Treaty.
Coincidence? I’ll let you be the judge.
- My entry, which I just sent in:
Dear Editor: I never thought I’d be writing to ABC news, but I had to when you requested a global warming experience. I was sitting at home, when suddenly 4 beautiful blondes rushed in, wearing nothing but fur bikinis. “WHo are you, and what are you wearing,” I demanded. “Please, sir,” said the leader, “Ve are so hot! Ve saw through your window the ice and vater machine in your refrigerator door, and ve must cool off! Now ve must immediately become NAYkid!” With that, she and the others tore off their bikinis (I later found out they were made from the furs of drowned polar bears the girls had found on the beach in Sweden) and began rubbing one another’s overheated, glistening bodies with ice cubes. “Why are you here?” I managed to gasp. “Ve have come to tell the world to listen to your charismatic Albert Gore!” cried Inge (I found out her name later, when she was rubbing me with ice cubes). “Please,” Inge begged, “tell the Vorld to listen to the charismatic Albert Gore.”
And now I have.
- #40 PW – Don’t worry, I fixed it today. You should notice the days gradually getting shorter again.Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 06 21 at 07:02 PM • permalink
- What peeves me is that every time I try to drink a nice, tall glass of water to cool down I find that the water has boiled off before I can get my lips to the edge of the glass. How will I ever cope?
“examples of people coping…” Coping – the most pathetic, pansy-ass word in the current “media/left/woe is me” lexicon. Think about all those people in their covered wagons heading west in the 1800s. Did they worry about “coping”? No, they actually had spines and they thrived, they didn’t cope.
- I saw a burning bush. Oh, and some old bloke gave me some stone tablets with writing on them. Then these four guys on horseback came riding over.Posted by Islam/cancer-Chuck Norris/answer on 2006 06 21 at 07:32 PM • permalink
- Speaking of Unusual Animals, seems as though mr kos, may have caught his dick in his zipper.
Chairman Markos speaks
THE BLOGOSPHERE’S “SMOKE-FILLED BACKROOM:”
And the original article at
are all over the screw ‘em kid.
- The Mormons have been noticeably subdued around my area lately, even though they have a temple just a few miles away.
Oh, and El Cid? The ducks at UWA are very well behaved. They spend their days lolling around the ponds and scoffing the unripe figs that fall off the trees. None of your aggressive feathered rabble here.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 06 21 at 07:50 PM • permalink
Now that you mention it, the increase in temperature has gotten the yard apes seeking cooler climes. That and a Nutty Buddy.
Translation for all you non-yanks – the local rug-rats are hiding in the shade listening for the sound of the Mr Whippy-van and the indulgence of a whippy sundae, with nuts.
(Whippy – soft serve)
None of your aggressive feathered rabble here
Excellent. Nothing like a laid back duck, I say.
- 58 – Tasty!Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 06 21 at 08:03 PM • permalink
- Here in Los Angeles we’ve been seeing widespread migration of a species native to Mexico and points south, that is frankly overpopulating the grazing capacity of their nearest equivalent food-sources here in North America, the WalMart and 7-11. The crowding and strain on native species is becoming severe…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 21 at 08:12 PM • permalink
- Played a few today, SC. This acquaintance bet me a fiver on a 10 foot putt…It lipped out, and he laughed…well, just so happens the boy smokes cigars.
I looked up…smile on my face and said…”Ya know, I keep meaning to tell ya, you look like a real movie star with that thing in your mouth”.
The boy puffed and stuck his chest out and said, “WHO?”
I said “Lassie, taking a shit”. Didn’t speak to me the last few holes….damn…:).
- 61 – Cid, I am going to have to find someone now who smokes cigars just so I can use that line.
Actually, I do know someone! I just remembered – oh damn, it’s the boss.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 06 21 at 08:39 PM • permalink
- 001 T.R.Jeff.
Of course, I blame Bush—he never signed the Kyoto Treaty.
I never signed it either, mamma jamma! And lookah hyah, neithh did yo! Ha! Mah street cred outjams yo so-called rational argumentiums!
Of course, I blame Bush—he never signed the Kyoto Treaty.
“Doomed” he said!! I understood that part!!
029 Mojo: Sir? What was that elephant DOING wearing your pajamas?Posted by Huck Foley on 2006 06 21 at 08:53 PM • permalink
- Dear ABC, the preponderence of warm weather and hurricanes has caused this guy Al Gore to be around alot. A very unusual animal indeed!Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 06 21 at 08:55 PM • permalink
- I first noticed the moonbats in my neighborhhod about six years ago. There were only a couple of them then and they were generally small and barely noticeable. But as each year since has gone by, the moonbats have grown more numerous, larger and increasingly obnoxious. Curiously, the growth in the moonbats’ size has corresponded closely to the growth of the dire predictions of impending doom to be caused by Global Warming, but what’s really weird is that their number seems to increase with every appearance of Al Gore. With the release of An Incovenient Truth it seems as though it will soon be impossible to walk the dog or take a stroll with the kids without having to protect the children from these foul beasts. Help me Mr. Liberal!Posted by charles austin on 2006 06 21 at 09:30 PM • permalink
- Global warming and rising seas have been great. I’m now a foundation member of the Alice Springs Yacht Club.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 06 21 at 09:59 PM • permalink
- OT and Useless information for the day:
The vernacular commonly used to describe female genitalia appears at least 1003 times on this blog and the perjorative for procreation appears an astonishing 2619 times, out of approximatly 650 blog posts. Left-tards seem to have fascination for naughty rude words and appear convinced of their power as a valid rhetoric device.
- Silly bunts.Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 21 at 10:20 PM • permalink
- The real reason secular leftoids despise Christians is because they have founded a rival church, evangelical environmentalism, and their shall be no other god before it.
Like Doomsday, there’s the same fascination with catastrophe. They warn against it but deeply want it too – as a vindication of their righteousness. Those flourishing in capitalism’s Sodom and Gomorrah – buying homes, providing a decent education for their kids and generally enjoying themselves – will finally get their comeuppance and the saints will go marching in.
Left environmentalism is the last methane-filled fart from marxism’s dead horse. If evil capitalism refuses to kill people then, at least, let it, please let it, kill the planet. (This in spite of the fact that the more developed capitalism becomes, the less it pollutes.)
The comrades who control the ABC aren’t fooling anyone but themselves.
- Due to global warming, people have been taking me less and less seriously.Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 06 21 at 10:34 PM • permalink
- Well, where I live, in the south part of central California, it’s supposed to have been hothothot for the last month or so. It hasnt been. That means I’ve had one less excuse to in my inventory of – lawn mowing evasions.
It did just get hothothot supposedly last few days but it’s only really been hothot. I still had to mow the lawn.
I am very angery at Bush.
- I notice, looking at illustrations of people here in Hawaii over the past 200 years, that people are wearing a lot more clothing now. I’m guessing it’s because it’s been getting colder.
Or something.Posted by Harry Eagar on 2006 06 21 at 11:43 PM • permalink
- Funny you should mention that, Max. Just last week I picked up a koala bear in a tourist shop and he had a little “MADE IN PYONGYANG” label on his tummy – beats me how they got him to hold still while they stapled it there.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 06 22 at 12:40 AM • permalink
- Come to think of it I had a pretty incredible global warming experience lately. I had to go to a client in the top end of Australia. I boarded the plane in what would not even be considered a “southern state” in Brisbane and by the time the flight had arrived in Darwin the temperature had increased rather dramatically and stayed that way for my entire visit. Freakishly when I returned to Brisbane a mere week later the comparatively colder weather had returned. I’m mighty pissed off with Bush for not ratifying Kyoto.
These huge temperature fluctuations that are only taking a few hours to take effect must surely be grounds for impeachment.Posted by Hank Reardon on 2006 06 22 at 12:43 AM • permalink
- #66 RebeccaH,
That’s why it’s called the Poop Deck, ask Saltydog for a full explanation.Posted by Daniel San on 2006 06 22 at 12:47 AM • permalink
- The Big Bellied Moonbat seems to be flourishing under climate change.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 06 22 at 12:57 AM • permalink
- Global Warming. GW Bush. the same first two initials! coincidence? I think not.Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 06 22 at 01:38 AM • permalink
- Does having Markos Moulitsas climb through your window qualify as an ‘unusual animal’ sighting?Posted by Islam/cancer-Chuck Norris/answer on 2006 06 22 at 01:41 AM • permalink
- Glbal warming seems to have caused lots of Dodos to return from extinction- given the nature of their dreadful caterwauling, a campaign of extermination should be commenced forthwith; they make less sense and sound far more strident than a sackful of Australian Idol contestants being fed into a woodchipper.
- #94 Infidel Tiger,
You bastard!, now I have to gouge my eyes out.Posted by Daniel San on 2006 06 22 at 02:27 AM • permalink
- Actually, I kind of feel sorry for them. All their shortcomings are put on display for the world to see. But then again, maybe they’re more proud of their posteriors and want those to be looked at. This is San Francisco after all.Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 22 at 07:45 AM • permalink
- As nasty as that picture is, I noticed a few things.
#1 Pot-belly-kitty-face man with the farmer’s tan is staring with ill intent at the business end of Gore-on-my-ass man (BTW that second O in GO O RE is not necessary)
#2 New rule: If your belly is bigger than your boobs, you are forbidden to take your shirt off in public. (and lose the knee-high tube socks and straighten your hat dear)
#3 Do all fat men have tiny penises?
And a general comment for all the bikers involved: Next year, think about doing some push-ups and sit-ups starting a few months prior to the event. Please!
- #97 Don’t say that, Texas Bob, you’ll make Helen Thomas jealous.Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 22 at 10:11 AM • permalink
- #94, I had to look. I didn’t realize I’d already seen those pictures, so I went and looked again. If anything negates the bicycle as an alternative means of transportation, that does. I doubt anyone who has been subjected to that horrible, trauma-inducing flesh-o-rama will ever be able to sit on a bicycle again.
I’m going to go scrub my eyes with bleach now. Again.
(#92, no creature uses my deck for a latrine without life-altering consequences.)
- re #94: I just kept on thinking what a road rash they could get if they fell…..Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 22 at 10:51 AM • permalink
- ABC News received this missive from me:
I don’t have a story but I do want to congratulate you on pursuing the “personal angle” in the ongoing scientific debate about the provenance and existence of global warming. “Anecdotal evidence is always the best evidence” is what my old meteorology professor used to say.
Brachiasaurs in your garden? They’re ignoring the old 12-guage, aren’t they?
Have I got the solution for you! The .577 T-Rex. cartridge in a single-shot rifle.
Should do for hippos and cape buffalo, too.
Due to global warming, people have been taking me less and less seriously.
That’s just not true. Deep down, you must know that.Posted by Huck Foley on 2006 06 22 at 08:30 PM • permalink
- Thanks Huck, deep down I think you’re right…it’s probably them Jews who control what people think.Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 06 23 at 02:49 AM • permalink
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I’ve been fighting off enviro-cultists who think that I (and other taxpayers) should be paying for their fantasies of doom and horror. I could spend that time better chasing women, reading books, indulging in hobbies, and other pleasureable pursuits.
Of course, I blame Bush—he never signed the Kyoto Treaty.