Unmerry hicksmas

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Last updated on July 12th, 2017 at 11:13 am

“Freedom may not be easy for Hicks,” warns the Age. Well, there’s always the alternative – but Dave’s fans didn’t much care for that, either. He’s a difficult bloke to keep happy, our Dave, alternately being fed too much or not fed enough; even his choice of university is problematic. And now, after years of his supporters’ complaining about Dave’s cramped quarters, the Age reveals:

The former Muslim extremist suffers from agoraphobia …

Doesn’t like the wide open spaces, eh? This might cause a few issues with Dave’s planned career in environmentalism.

UPDATE. Leading Hicks fanboi Jeremy Sear believes the case against Dave is based on nothing more than that “he liked Islam” and “he went to Afghanistan” – but Jeremy doesn’t want Hicks in his house:

At no stage have I suggested that Hicks is some kind of good bloke who I’d like to invite round for dinner.

Why on earth not? He’s only an Islam-liking Middle Eastern tourist, after all. Could Jeremy be … Islamophobic?

Posted by Tim B. on 12/24/2007 at 07:56 AM
    1. His mental condition is fragile?

      Well, duh. Isn’t that a prerequisite to converting to Islam?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 24 at 08:06 AM • permalink


    1. Point, Ash.

      I’m happy for Mo Daewoo to stay indoors in a small cell for a loooong time.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 24 at 08:12 AM • permalink


    1. WHO CARES

      Oh, it’s the Age.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 24 at 08:13 AM • permalink


    1. Mental condition fragile. Agoraphobia, Panic attacks. Climb back under the bed, Dave, and stay there.

      Preferably, take your father with you and have a father/son hug for Christmas.

      Posted by mareeS on 2007 12 24 at 08:38 AM • permalink


    1. Which threads of his old life might he want to pick up? His life as a drifting deadbeat or his life as a terrorist?

      Posted by Rafe on 2007 12 24 at 08:40 AM • permalink


    1. Saw a TV article on comedy last night – the best quote in it was
      “people with a sense of humour probably don’t fly planes into the sides of buildings”.If we’re going to talk about psychology I’d reckon David’s problems start here.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 24 at 09:31 AM • permalink


    1. Yes, Hicksy is a real angel.

      So shove a Christmas Tree up his arse.

      Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 12 24 at 09:41 AM • permalink


    1. Lavatory rodeo has a laugh a minute thread on the Hickster going right now, heres some highlights.

      “How is it possible that we animals have better protections than humans do?”
      I think thats one of the blogsheep who must have strayed, can we get our pet troll moronda to bring it back??

      “Clearly, he was a bit more than the gun-obsessed idiot inadvertently caught up in world events after 9/11 that I originally thought he was.”
      No shit Sherlock.

      “David Hicks was held and systematically tortured at Gitmo in contravention of the Geneva Convention, labelled with a bodgie tag(under which I blog with pride) and denied habeus corpus because Rodent The Bruce felt he had to suck up to an imbecile like Bush43 and his cabal of war criminals.”
      Says the unflushable turd calling himself “enemy combatant”

      “the 50s at middle head, codes of conduct courses were held where ‘prisoners’ were held for upwards of a week but less than a fortnight in conditions that resonate with gitmo tho’ much softer and the ‘pass’ rate was very low. Multiply that by around 300 and up the ante on the torture and maybe it would be more humane to shoot the poor bastard.”
      Anyone who compares 50’s prison conditions with Gitmo has no fucking clue. I blame higher OH&S standards for the herd not being culled of nobs like this.

      “pyzo: I think zorronsky’s point was that what Hicks had done to him in Gitmo was worse than being shot.”
      Yup suuure it was.

      “Bad news with respect to Hicks; the man’s served his made up sentence for a made up crime by a made up court and ought to be left alone.”
      Griiimmmmy, have you left the mouth breathers and mucus gobblers cage open again??

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 24 at 09:56 AM • permalink


    1. OT, but it’s near 2.30am, and I’m off to bed.

      Merry Christmas and bless every one of you (including those who don’t believe) in Jesus’ name.

      I hope that you all have a wonderful day and you suffer from extreme health and happiness.


      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 24 at 11:23 AM • permalink


    1. I wonder if Hicks knows his supporters are portraying him as the biggest weenie who has ever lived? Poor daewood! He’s so fra-gee-lay!

      Posted by Redd on 2007 12 24 at 11:25 AM • permalink


    1. I don’t read or speak Greek, but doesn’t ‘agoraphobia’ mean the compulsion to bomb marketplaces?

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 12 24 at 11:37 AM • permalink


    1. Redd wrote:

      I wonder if Hicks knows his supporters are portraying him as the biggest weenie who has ever lived? Poor daewood! He’s so fra-gee-lay!

      He’s Italian?!

      Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 12 24 at 12:13 PM • permalink


    1. #8 frollicking

      Let’s see if I can get that larval rodeo clown’s logic straight…

      Killing Hindus (or trying to), running with a group of bloodthirsty savages who happened to kill 3,000 Americans six years ago and many thousands of their fellow Muslims since = “made up crime”.

      Maintaining that level of stupidity is full time job.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 24 at 12:35 PM • permalink


    1. Mr. Lefty doesn’t appear to comprehend punishment for past mis-deeds, rather than prevention of future ones.

      So mullah-boy isn’t today a danger. I bet if he was given a stick of dynamite and a little encouragement from some islamo-fascist, he’d be there again. And Mr. Lefty cannot dispute that.

      Given the left’s love of the precautionary principal, you’d think they’d be demanding his life-long incarceration.

      And a happy Christmas to all.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 24 at 03:52 PM • permalink


    1. Age reporter Penelope Debelle seems to have grown psycho-telepathic powers. In her extra role as God, she knows the mind of David Hicks. She also seems to have become qualified in psychiatry, for which a medical degree is necessary just for starters. The two paras below are stated as fact, not as opinion (her’s or any third party’s).
      Moreover she states as fact that Hicks won’t try to clear his name in the Federal Court because “his mental condition is so fragile”.  Well, there could be other reasons, such as his view of the odds against winning there.
      Really, The Age’s standards of editing, sub-editing and reporting have fallen so low that the unattributed psycho-babble below is presented on page 1 as fact.“The former Muslim extremist suffers from agoraphobia and anxiety. After six years largely in solitary confinement, five of them in the US military terrorist prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, he is psychologically unprepared to pick up the threads of his old life.

      His mental condition is so fragile he is unwilling to try to clear his name through a Federal Court appearance which, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, has branded him a highly trained terrorist who is a risk to the population and a resource for extremist groups.

      Posted by percypup on 2007 12 24 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  • I picture the future David Hicks as living very much like the projected futures of Bart Simpson.  And I quite LIKE Bart.

    #7 Heard this Santa story for the first time.  Santa is having a very frustrating, hectic day before Christmas finishing things and everything is going wrong.
    The elves have gone on strike, the sleigh has lost a sled, Rudolph’s red nose has turned into the flu and he’s passed it on to the whole herd, Santa’s just spilled black ink all over his beard and he’s fuming mad when there’s a knock at the door.
    Standing there is a little white angel who says, “Santa I have cut down a nice Christmas tree for you to decorate. Here it is.”

    And that’s how the legend of the angel on top of the Christmas tree started…

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 12 24 at 05:19 PM • permalink


  • Don’t know how the bold started [b/]

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 12 24 at 05:21 PM • permalink


  • We’ll let the bolds run free but we won’t let David Hicks out of jail? God! What sort of people are we?
    Oh, that’s right. We’re people with an unfucked sense of priorities.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 24 at 05:33 PM • permalink


    1. #17 At the end of Percypup’s post, Barrie.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 24 at 06:12 PM • permalink


    1. SMH says:
      Fragile Hicks Faces Torture of Freedom …
      (Wow! This word “torture” is really effective in making the authorities embarrased and then back off. Let’s just use it and use it, until they see things our way.)
      There are those who would never go to war, never use “torture”. I’m reading “House To House” by David Bellavia. To have an effective military you have to use it. Extracting information from fanatics needs trickery, drugs, or coercion of some sort.
      Waterboarding is fine by me if it gets results – the creep lives to tell about it, and sings like a canary.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 12 24 at 06:59 PM • permalink


    1. This is b.s. Prisons, as a rule, do not release the psych reports of prisoners. I have no reason to believe it is any different in Australia. The only source for this crap seems to be his obnoxious dad. Also, I suspect the reason why daewood is afraid to venture into the sunshine of the prison yard, is because his fellow prisoners would love the opportunity to kick his fragile terrorist ass.

      Posted by Redd on 2007 12 24 at 07:43 PM • permalink


    1. Oh, and this lavotory blog people refer to:  why does one of the posters think he is a horse?

      Posted by Redd on 2007 12 24 at 07:49 PM • permalink


    1. Could Jeremy be … Islamophobic?

      More like Sears is an idiot.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 12 24 at 07:52 PM • permalink


    1. #11 ROTFLMAO

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 24 at 09:14 PM • permalink


    1. The former Muslim extremist

      How do we know that? He may just be doing one of those dastardly muslim truces of convenience.

      Lock him up but don’t throw a way the key, give it to me. I could randomly and infrequently open the door to give the buggar a hope in hell, then crash the door shut again 🙂 Mwahahaha

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 24 at 09:19 PM • permalink


    1. Fragile Hicks faces torture of freedom

      Then he should enjoy the liberty of incarceration.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 24 at 09:21 PM • permalink


    1. David Hicks was held and systematically tortured at Gitmo

      No he wasn’t.

      Why do people write flagrant lies and no-one contradict.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 24 at 09:22 PM • permalink


    1. I get a kick out of the asshole identifying himself as “enemy combatant” Ha fucking ha.  Perhaps, since he isn’t covered by the “Geneva Convention” somebody ought to “shoot” him.

      Asinine moronic poser.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 12 24 at 10:48 PM • permalink


    1. Steve & Wimpy.

      This has to be the least intelligent comment by any breathing human on Hicks. Again from Lavatory Rodeo.
      Here it is in all its excremental ignorance.

      “38 Paul Burns
      Dec 25th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
      The problem with Hicks is that we, along with the Americans, failed to treat him according to the rules of the Geneva Convention. Guantanomo was created so the Bushites could, among other things, avoid Convention obligations.Of course,Hicks was an idiot, though, since at the time he joined the Taliban, probably technically not a traitor, as we weren’t at war with Afghanistan, of which the Taliban was then the ruling Government, which I understand we did recognise.
      He may or may not have been a member of Al Qaeda. I doubt that every Muslim organisation who went to their training camps actually joined them.Its arguable I gather, if he knew of 9/11 at the time he was arrested. So far as he was concerned he thought he was fighting in a civil war against the Northern Alliance. In any case, once he was captured in battle, and handed over to the Yanks, he should have been protected against ill-treatment by the Geneva Convention. One might argue that Al Qaeda didn’t care about the Convention when it killed 4,000 people in the WTC. And that’s blindingly obvious.But that doesn’t give Americans, or by extention us, the right to ignore the Conventions’ obligations. That just makes us as morally reprehensible as Ben Laden, or the Nazis in WW2.”

      Id fisk it but it does it itself…The bloke must live in a cave to be that ignorant of Hicks.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 25 at 03:23 AM • permalink


    1. Ben Laden? He’s hiding in Scotland now?

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 12 25 at 04:53 AM • permalink


    1. If he really wants to get the rest of the Loony Left onside he needs to announce he has turned gay 🙂

      They would lap it up.

      Posted by curious george on 2007 12 25 at 05:48 AM • permalink


    1. Frollicking, didn’t we go over the Geneva Conventions a few posts back?

      Mind you, this… person… is right. Hicks wasn’t treated according to the GC.

      If he had have been, we wouldn’t still be discussing his sorry arse.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 25 at 06:55 AM • permalink


    1. Oh dear.
      OT but related (ie about islam in Oz).

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 25 at 07:35 AM • permalink


    1. The vid at #33 was found via the Media Watch Research Institute.

      Words fail.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 25 at 07:37 AM • permalink


    1. Franc Tireur.

      Read the definition, read about their past treatment, tell me that Mo Dawood wasn’t one of them, and provide some reasons why he shouldn’t be treated as one, and I will agree that that poor little oppressed bastard should be allowed to happily live among the free people against whom he took up arms in his filthy perverted “holy war”.

      Despite the overwhelming amount of goodwill for the Christmas period, I can’t summons up any goodwill or Christian forgiveness for this arsehole.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 12 25 at 07:49 AM • permalink


    1. #33 That is truely dishonest and evil. Who is that wanker and why is he?

      Listening to Handel’s messiah in the abckground.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 25 at 12:00 PM • permalink


    1. Dear Paco Industries,
      I have received your ARI model Anti-Radical Extremist Taser gun as a Christmas present.
      Can you advise me what setting to use for David Hicks should I encounter him around Adelaide, where we both live?
      The settings are Bomber, Seditious Preacher, Raving Jerk, and White Clad Weirdo.
      As I wish to be humane towards David and he may no longer be an Islamic Jihadist, would the lowest setting be sufficient?
      I am disappointed that it has no female settings, which limits its usefulness.
      Thank you.

      Posted by Barrie on 2007 12 25 at 05:19 PM • permalink


    1. Re my post #15:

      Well I never! This is The Australian today, re David Hicks’ factually affirmed psycho state thanks to The Age’s psychiatrically qualified, god-like reporters, sub-editors and everyone else who had a hand in yesterday’s Age P1 story:

      Mr Hicks rejected reports suggesting his son was suffering from agoraphobia and was mentally unfit for release.
      Hick’s father Terry is quoted:
      “What actually happened there was when David was removed from the system here to Holden Hill (police station to prepare him for release), he was surrounded by uniforms, he got a bit anxious and apprehensive,” he said.

      “Suddenly the media are saying he’s got agoraphobia, he’s going to be frightened of this and frightened of that.

      “This was just something that was taken out of context.”Terry denies David is psycho
      This episode of Age reportage is such a classic where comment, opinion and bias masquerade as factual reporting.

      Posted by percypup on 2007 12 25 at 06:12 PM • permalink


    1. #37 Dear Barrie,

      Please read your instructions. As we are living in a post-modern, post-christian society, there is no need for section on women.

      All genders are equal, and hence there should be no need to differentiate on your settings between male and female.

      Or any other genders.

      This is because PACO Industries is an inclusive, tolerant global conglomerate, and all taser victims are created equal under Paco.

      Kind regards and happy zapping,

      ag Assistant to the Help Desk.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 25 at 07:31 PM • permalink


    1. branded him a highly trained terrorist

      ‘Highly trained?’


      Posted by Achillea on 2007 12 25 at 09:20 PM • permalink


    1. It would be a nice gesture on behalf of all Australians if Hicks was given a holiday in India[where allegedly he took potshots at Indians]. There he could tell them that he didn’t mean it that much.
      The change would do him good.

      Posted by waussie on 2007 12 25 at 10:58 PM • permalink


    1. What Jeremy are you a Islamophobic?

      Posted by Old school on 2007 12 26 at 03:29 AM • permalink


    1. 41 – Perhaps he could visit our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan too.
      “Nothing pers…”

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 26 at 05:24 AM • permalink


  1. It’d almost be worth having Oz turn into a totalitarian Islamist hell-hole to see the looks on these jerks’ faces when they’re the first ones up against the wall.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 12 26 at 11:57 AM • permalink