Turkey turkey turkey!

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 04:11 am

Our golden bird of glory flies ever onward, this time courtesy of David Benjamin:

Here are my choices for the Top Five Pseudo-Events of the Bush regime.

5. Plastic Turkey for the Troops. On the first Thanksgiving of the Iraq war, Dubya surprised the troops with a turkey dinner. Except, well, the turkey, which photographed beautifully, was fake. And Dubya didn’t actually hang around for dinner. Nice uniform, though.

David is a novelist and journalist, originally from Madison, who now lives and works in Paris. Hooray for him!

(Via Englisher Peter Briffa, who adds, mistakenly: “Pietersen will kick Shane Warne’s ass, you know.”)

Posted by Tim B. on 11/24/2006 at 09:39 AM
    1. All five events are entirely defensible and presidential in this media age. Pseudo-events only to a pseudo-intellectual.

      “The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked”? The title of his book sounds like a memoir.

      Posted by JDB on 2006 11 24 at 10:52 AM • permalink


    1. It’s a shame we can’t arrest a “professional journalist” for fraud when they write something that’s so easily shown to be false.

      If a stockbroker said the same sort of thing about their offerings as many “pro” reporters did about their subjects, they’d be up on federal securities charges.

      Posted by cirby on 2006 11 24 at 10:53 AM • permalink


    1. Steep Learning Curve on the Left.  By the end of the Bush presidency, there will be as many Lefties believing in the plastic turkey as there are that believe that islam is a religion of peace.

      Posted by Diggs on 2006 11 24 at 10:53 AM • permalink


    1. And Dubya didn’t actually hang around for dinner.

      No, he just manned the chow line and served food to the troops. The President of the United States slingin’ hash for the grunts.

      I guess Benjamin missed the pictures.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 24 at 11:05 AM • permalink


    1. What crap, that isn’t even worth fisking as its inaccuracies are so blatant. And even including a Sen. McCarthy reference—what leftist propaganda piece would be complete without one, eh? Frigging cheese for brains.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 24 at 11:26 AM • permalink


    1. Well I’ll certainly not place blame for his cluelessness later in life on whomever it was that told the young Benjamin the last kid really does get picked.  It was a kind thing to do.

      Posted by Dusty on 2006 11 24 at 11:35 AM • permalink


    1. #5. andycanuck

      The innacuracies are so blatant they can only be deliberate.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 24 at 11:52 AM • permalink


    1. It’s all about reciting the Party Line and establishing one’s bona snides.  Now Mr. Benjamin is eligible to hang out with the Cool Kids.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 24 at 12:32 PM • permalink


    1. And another grim sad milestone passed today:
      Actually, it does use a “grim” later, come to think about it.

      BTW, offhand does anyone know how long NATO’s been in the Balkans and how long the UN has helped administer “Palestine”?

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 24 at 12:56 PM • permalink


    1. Yeah, but you have to throw in an Orwell reference to hang out with the really Kool Kids.  Another opportunity missed.

      Isn’t he a jourNULList?  Just asking.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 11 24 at 01:00 PM • permalink


    1. andycanuck #9

      Which time for the Balkans?

      There was an initial deployment of 60,000 troops in December of 1995 in Bosnia and Herzegovina, I think.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 11 24 at 01:20 PM • permalink


    1. #4, Dave,

      “No, he just manned the chow line and served food to the troops. The President of the United States slingin’ hash for the grunts.”

      Now while that was a pure photo op, I’d just like to point out the sheer significance of said foto op for any trolls or unbelievers nearby.

      The man universally recognised as the ‘Leader of the Free World’ or ‘The Most Powerful Man on Earth’ (apologies to Rove McManus The Dark Lord Karl Rove), is serving up food to his ‘footsoldiers’ in the same fashion as the folks who normally do this ‘lowly’job.  (No-one who is truely hungry thinks they’re less important than the shooters, but thats another story…)

      However, can anyone recall Joe Stalin, or Chairman Mao, or Ho Chi Minh, or even Mick Gorbachev commiting a (remotely) comparable act?

      RE: #5, Can anyone link me to something that proves Sen. J. McArthy was right more often that the KGB?  I’ve heard Joe had about a 75% sucess rate, whereas the KGB was about 55% with spotting spies…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 24 at 01:42 PM • permalink


    1. Time for glance down memory lane. There’ve been more plastic turkey discussions, analyses, poems, & lyrics, here than can be reasonably linked to, though, by using previous efforts, one can try. Certainly all the following is worth sending to David Benjamin.

      Turkey was not plastic:
      “The Bird Was Perfect But Not For Dinner,” Washington Post, Dec. 3, 2003, at (note changed URL) http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A33090-2003Dec3
      Dec. 4, 2003 7:07AM entry at Instapundit http://www.instapundit.com/archives/012856.php

      Photos of Bush serving, yes, edible turkey from behind counter to troops in Baghdad:
      Visual IIThe Corner, National Review, Dec. 6, 2003, 9:15 AM
      Touching TurkeyThe Corner, National Review, Dec. 6, 2003, 9:12 AM

      Important events around that time, which many media critters love to obscure with their plastic-turkey myth and decorative-turkey consolation hysteria:
      Nov. 19, 2003 – Bush’s “Three Pillars” speech at Whitehall Palace in London.
      Nov. 27, 2003 – Bush & Condi Rice fly into Baghdad to visit the troops and reassure Iraqis of US resolve.
      Dec. 5, 2003 – Anti-terrorism march in Baghdad, “Iraqis march in salute to U.S.,” Washington Times, Dec. 6, 2003.
      Dec. 10, 2003 – Anti-terrorism marches in Baghdad and other Iraqi cities, “Thousands of Iraqis call for end to violence,” Maureen Fan, Knight Ridder via the Seattle Times, Dec. 11, 2003; also, “Iraqis for the ‘Occupation,’” Walid Phares, FrontPageMagazine.com, Dec. 11, 2003.
      Dec. 13, 2003 – Capture of Saddam Hussein.

      The plastic turkey myth has shown considerable persistence, and, at Tim Blair’s sites, its debunking has correspondingly become a long-lasting vein of humor.
      Dec. 5, 2003 – GOBBLE GOBBLE
      Dec. 10, 2003 – SHE DON’T GET NO RESPECT
      Dec. 13, 2003 – ALAN RAMSEY, KING TURKEY
      Dec. 14, 2003 – HISTORIC MOMENT
      Dec. 21, 2003 – G.O.B.B.L.E. MEMBERSHIP INCREASES
      Dec. 25, 2003 – IT’S ALL ABOUT TURKEYS
      Dec. 28, 2003 – REALISM AND SAUL LANDAU
      March 10, 2004 – JOHN F(AKE) KERRY

      Plastic Turkey Tales Addicts’ Corner: At each month’s archive page, do a simple browser search on the word “turkey” to find the relevant threads. It is unfortunate that not all further articles linked from within those threads remain. The blog Deeds for instance is gone.

      Dec. 2003 http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/2003_12.php (the Unforgettable Month)
      Jan. 2004 http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/2004_01.php
      Feb. 2004 http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/2004_02.php
      Mar. 2004 http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/2004_03.php
      Apr. 2004 http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/2004_04.php

      Posted by ForNow on 2006 11 24 at 01:47 PM • permalink


    1. #9,

      “WASHINGTON: The US involvement in Iraq will pass another sad milestone tomorrow, when it overtakes the length of its engagement in World War II.”

      You mean its NOT worse than Vietnam yet?  Shock horror, maybe the AK’s & RPG’s are getting old…

      Am I the only one who thinks Colonel Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin (KGB) would support America’s enemies in order to advance his own countries global standing?

      “There is no such thing as a former KGB man”  – Col President Vladimir Putin

      P.S.  If I come down with a case of “Thallium” poisoning, y’all know who dunnit.  Sorry Paco, but I’m hoping Wron could organise an Arc-Light run or two over the Kremlin.

      P.P.S.  Arc-Light is 3 B-52 bombers loaded to the gills with 500-750lb iron bombs, flying formation and dropping as one.  Imagine a 1 mile by half mile forrest.  Imagine it all got blown to toothpicks in 30 seconds, thats Arc-Light.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 24 at 01:54 PM • permalink


    1. We raise a lot of those plastic turkeys now here in North Carolina.  People don’t like living too near real turkey farms because they stink and all that leaking manure keeps the fly population abundant and happy.

      Plastic turkeys don’t make nasty smells and it’s a lot easier on the workers breathing-wise when it’s time to chase them down and load them into crates for transport to the slaughter-house. I’ve worked in chicken houses and I can tell you – ten thousand large, stupid birds that don’t want to be caught can give you instant manure-induced lung faiure.

      Plastic turkeys are a lot cheaper to feed, too.

      Posted by Baillie on 2006 11 24 at 02:43 PM • permalink


    1. Do plastic turkey sightings’s count if they’re from blogs rather than newspapers? If so I nominate this “Left Toon Lane” site for the entry titled ‘No Plastic Turkeys for Bush This Year’.

      Posted by Ross on 2006 11 24 at 04:54 PM • permalink


    1. http://www.whitehouse.org/firstlady/recipebox.asp

      mrs george bush’s receipes. gobble gobble..

      Tim Tam, can we have a Christmas party here?

      Posted by 1.618 on 2006 11 24 at 05:24 PM • permalink


    1. Here’s what I sent to Mr. Benjamin’s editors.

      David Benjamin—Pseudojournalists defile the Bush Administration

      Although I have no doubt you will hear this from any other writers, the “Bush plastic turkey” is a complete fabrication. The turkey in question was a real turkey, albeit cooked for display and not to be served. The troops were served a turkey dinner; in fact, there are photographs, which I would be happy to provide, of President Bush _serving_ that dinner to the troops with his own hand, contrary to Mr. Benjamin’s assertations. Needless to say, I regard the rest of Mr. Benjamin’s claimed Bush falsehoods as being every bit as factual as the first. No matter. Mr. Benjamin is evidently about to get the government he deserves, and it would be hilarious to watch… if the rest of us didn’t have to live through it with him.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 24 at 05:33 PM • permalink


    1. #18, well said, richard.  Not that it will make a gnat’s ass worth of difference to those who lovingly embrace their inner plastic turkey.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 24 at 05:58 PM • permalink


    1. Just in case you guys were fooled—1.168’s link didn’t lead to the real White House website, which is of course http://www.whitehouse.gov. The whitehouse.org site is a satire site.

      Here’s George Bush and a non-plastic turkey.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 24 at 07:07 PM • permalink


    1. OK, here in Nebraska, it’s the Friday after Thanksgiving.  The ducks (not turkeys) were served and consumed, along with calories fit for Renaissance cardinals in Urbino on a binge.  The children are now happily watching Spongebob.  The puppies are chewing each other (a holiday and non-holiday pasttime). I surf, as I do when I get a break from children and puppies.

      With that intro (a scene-setter at best), I wish to express my deep, non-plastic (tho’ flexible) admiration for Tim Blair—thank you for your wit, dedication, and ability to skewer the turkey all the year ‘round(turkeys above ten pounds require multiple skewers).  I’d come to Australia and flirt, but am married to jealous and mildly Democratic husband (a good guy—he cooked both ducks!).  Again, thank you; I love you.

      Posted by lauraw on 2006 11 24 at 07:40 PM • permalink


    1. lauraw,
      For the record, I am so over SpongeBob.
      Also, I come to Tim’s site because the people here are the funniest bunch on the web.

      Posted by Merlin on 2006 11 24 at 08:54 PM • permalink


    1. “As God is my witness, I thought plastic turkeys could fly.”

      Howcome journalist Benji isn’t covering the real story?

      You know, it gets kind of tiresome to endlessly see the same lies repeated by people who, from their presumed professional experience, ought to be able to ferret out the true story.  And yet they continue to repeat the same old lies.  These lefties are so unimaginative; they ought at least to make up new lying stories sometimes.  Is that beyond their capabilities?  Is that too much to ask?

      I guess it is.

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 11 24 at 09:17 PM • permalink


    1. His latest book is “The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked?

      Boy, does that ever speak volumes about Boy Benji. In response to any correction of his errors here he will no doubt claim something along the lines of “Whether or not the turkey was actually plastic is really not important, as its use as a metaphor speaks to a greater Truth about the Bush Administration and its many crimes, blah, blah, blah.” Fake but accurate ya know.

      Posted by DanG on 2006 11 24 at 09:54 PM • permalink


    1. as its use as a metaphor speaks to a greater Truth

      The problem they keep running into is that when you only have a big pile of Metaphors and no actual Truth behind them, you end up with nothing but Lies…

      Posted by cirby on 2006 11 24 at 10:09 PM • permalink


    1. I presume this guy went to Paris after President Bush won the election…

      Posted by Hanyu on 2006 11 24 at 10:20 PM • permalink


    1. “20….Hi Andrea, What’s your website again, it’s really good. 1.618 See you in a few I’m off to shopping for Jesus’s Christ’s Birthday celebrations..

      Posted by 1.618 on 2006 11 24 at 11:09 PM • permalink


    1. Oh, I thought it was the real white house site: oops….. sorry mrs Bush

      Posted by 1.618 on 2006 11 24 at 11:10 PM • permalink


    1. And on this Turkeytide, Science bless us, all, everyone—especially to Tiny Aussie Tim for making it all possible.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 25 at 01:08 AM • permalink


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