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Last updated on June 6th, 2017 at 02:23 am
Attention, Dan Rather! Another authentic document has surfaced – and this one even has a signature:
God signed His name in the tsunami that battered Sri Lanka and other countries on December 26, and sent it as punishment because humans have been ignoring His laws, Sri Lankan Muslims say.
Proof, according to Mohamed Faizeen, manager of the Centre for Islamic Studies in Colombo, is a satellite picture taken seconds after the tsunami smashed into Sri Lanka’s west coast near the town of Kalutara and as it was receding.
“This clearly spells out the name ‘Allah’ in Arabic,” Faizeen said, pointing to the shape of the waves – a gigantic “E” complete with whorls and sidewaves that do indeed appear to combine to resemble the Arabic script for the name “Allah”.
Quick! Somebody sell the ocean on eBay!
- hmmm, it seems it was the muslims who were disobeying his law, not christians, since that’s the majority of the dead.Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 01 13 at 02:43 AM • permalink
- Now how come he gets to say the word “God” and no one else can’t? Oh, riiighttt…only christians can’t have anything to do with GOD.
I love this post!
Posted by Welsh Witch on 2005 01 13 at 03:00 AM • permalink
- I guess Allah is aware that communications satellites are mostly owned and operated by non-Muslims. In fact, mostly by Christian America.
So was He saying to the Christians: “Hy, Boys, watch Me wipe out the towel-heads! And let hem know it’s Me, will you.”?
If I were a Muslim I’d be worried.
Posted by Kevin Dunn on 2005 01 13 at 03:07 AM • permalink
- This is not unusual. In America, we frequently see the face of the Virgin Mary on moldy pieces of bread or tortillas, and once even on a water-damaged billboard. There have actually been organized pilgrimages to visit these miraculous images. Truly, god works in mysterious ways.Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 01 13 at 03:41 AM • permalink
- That reminds me, the most recent incident I read about was that of the lucky grilled cheese sandwich:
“In a perfect example of Americana pop culture phenomenon, a grilled cheese sandwich that bears the image of the Virgin Mary has been sold on eBay to Internet casino GoldenPalace.com for an eye-opening $28,000.
Seller Diana Duyser made the sandwich ten years ago, and after taking one bite out of it, noticed the Virgin Mary’s face staring back at her. Duyser, 52, believes the sandwich has brought her luck over the years and is truly convinced of its divinity. The paranormal nature of the sandwich is mainly due to the fact that millions of people are able to see the same holy icon on the bread, not to mention that a ten-year-old sandwich has remained remarkably free of mold. Oddly, no special care has been taken to preserve the sandwich. For more information and pictures visit http://www.goldenpalace.com/.”
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 01 13 at 03:48 AM • permalink
- God is anxious to prevent forgeries, so uses a tsunami. Otherwise you’d have pranksters sending postcards and stuff and causing building evacuations all over the world. Let’s see pranksters do a tsunami bomb threat. Ha!
I’m surprised all he did is sign it, with no message included, is all. Usually with warnings he has some riddle, and the answer is the warning, like “When is a door not a door?’’ one of my favorite warnings.
Then some new covenant is drawn up, which man promptly violates. It’s live and learn, if you’re a deity. I don’t know what he expects to happen. He keeps doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
From which you can conclude that either God is an idiot, or it’s a grammatical fact about God, which is my view. Man is always called on to do better, by being called on at all.
Some cultures literalize this, and then things don’t go well until they outgrow or reform it. Avoiding theology in those cultures for a few years would help.
- Lots of Virgin Mary sightings in the US
Presumably there are Muslim sophisticates who take the same attitude to Faizeen’s divine signature as most Christians do to the increasingly frequent Virgin sightings and the nutty theories hanging on them
- Goddammit, Faizeen, don’t you read the SMH? Said right there that global warming caused that quake. And everybody knows Laura Bush uses hairspray. Ergo …Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2005 01 13 at 07:10 AM • permalink
- talking of divine messages bush wins election despite left-wing media attacks kerry crumbles and cries no-one loves him howard wins in face of same media assault, fat-ass gets pancreatitus arafat dies and goes to hell,terrorists have not attacked america since 9/11(no attacks within thier borders), remember the dire warnings from doom prophets “we should sit down with them to see why they hate us”. not to mention this disaster which has devastated the muslim population of countries affected. gods americanPosted by wombatant63 on 2005 01 13 at 09:30 AM • permalink
- Kevin Dunn:
… communications satellites are mostly owned and operated by non-Muslims. In fact, mostly by Christian America.
Well, like you, I’d guess so. And, in the case of this one, specifically, we know that:
http://www.digitalglobe.com/about/index.shtml
DigitalGlobe is headquartered in Longmont, Colorado with locations in Washington D.C., the John C. Stennis Space Center in Southern Mississippi, and DigitalGlobe Asia in Singapore.
Let’s fit globalization in, here. An (apparently) American company is the messenger to a Sri Lankan Muslim that Allah is angry at Sri Lankan and various other Asian Muslims and various other religionists, local and touristic.
So, are we “good” or “bad,” this time—messenger of Allah, and all. I’m so confused, trying to keep track of the scorecard.
- The whole eBay thing is a scam Tim. I never even got one serious offer for my froot loop that looked like Richard Neville.
http://gibbosplace.blogspot.com/2004/12/gibbo-strikes-it-rich.html
- Allah writes in Arabic. Who knew?
Actually, he does, according to Islam. He speaks and writes in Arabic. God’s perfect language.
Don’t believe me? Ask a Muslim.
Posted by Brian Tiemann on 2005 01 13 at 11:39 AM • permalink
- What bugs me most about this article is the use of the words “Sri Lankan Muslims say”, as if this were the general consensus among the 1.5 million or so Muslims in Sri Lanka. This is the opinion of one particular nutcase who just happens to have a big hat, and it should be portrayed as such.
One of the big problems with Islam is that the probably-quite-sensible majority is denied a voice, and only the nutcases get to speak. With stories like this, the western media really isn’t helping.
Couldn’t they at least have said “some Sri Lankan Muslims say”, and then gone out and found some other Sri Lankan Muslim who could have given a contrasting viewpoint? “Sounds like bullshit to me, it’s just one of those things which happen due to plate tectonics, I’m sure Allah has better things to do.”
- hmm- allah knows if you’ve been naughty or nice…..there’s gotta be a connection to santa there somewhere.Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 01 13 at 04:50 PM • permalink
- Another sign! Someone alert Wolcott.
Dammit, I’d wish they’d highlight what we’re supposed to see in pictures like these, because I am just not getting it.
Did Allah fail penmanship?
Posted by Crispytoast on 2005 01 13 at 05:10 PM • permalink
- I agree with crispytoast buggered if I can make anything out of it. Arabic text looks scrawled at the best of times,similacra is the phenomana where religious primitives find images in everyday things,e.g jesus in my soup, I personally love god,but this borders idol worship.Posted by wombatant63 on 2005 01 13 at 05:38 PM • permalink
- That woman with the cheese sandwich was blessed – she managed to sell it for it for $US28,000Posted by pollytickedoff on 2005 01 13 at 06:08 PM • permalink
- Jorge, you are absolutely right. It is this type of press stupidity that only serves to deepen the divide between lunatic Christians (and all the racists) and lunatic Muslims. The rest of us (all the people in the middle whether Muslim or Chistian or athiest or whatever) just roll our eyes and get on with life.Posted by Karl Fidel Adams-Kingston on 2005 01 13 at 09:23 PM • permalink
- lunatic christians? you havent lived untill you’ve had your head separated from your body by islamic ‘insurgents’…Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 01 13 at 10:41 PM • permalink
- Am I the only one who just doesn’t see it? Is this one of those Magic Eye things?Posted by Aaron – Free Will on 2005 01 13 at 11:17 PM • permalink
