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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 03:38 pm
John Howard avoids a creepy peace tree:
Members of the Medical Association for the Prevention of War, along with prominent Iraq war opponent American Cindy Sheehan, have tried unsuccessfully to hand the tree over at John Howard’s Sydney residence, Kirribilli House.
According to the riff-raff, that tree is going to spend the rest of its life unplanted:
“We’ll be keeping the peace tree until we do have a Prime Minister who will accept it and plant it in commemoration for the people who have died in the illegal Iraq war,” he said.
I demand constant updates on the peace tree’s welfare.
- Tim, the tree is a peace hostage! It should be released, as its rights are being violated.
Vegetable rights and peace!Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 05 28 at 06:13 AM • permalink
- First, the peace tree… then, a whole forest of peace trees.
- Wouldnt it be a fun guesture if Howard accepted it, then planted it on Saddams grave after he swings.
Cindy and a whole bunch of others would pop a nut…Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 05 28 at 09:01 AM • permalink
- #10 crash
yeah, wasn’t that a shame…. (looks down, quickly hides drum of gysophate behind self, smiles weakly…)Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 05 28 at 09:06 AM • permalink
- Trees are good!
They burn nicely in my fire and keep me warm in winter,Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 05 28 at 09:08 AM • permalink
- Also keeping us warm in winter is the new ABC slogan “This is where it is”.
My heart was truly warmed today by SBS Twisted Sister Le Len Chen(the self styled fashionista) who always tries harder..against terrible odds.Tonight she was all puckered up and magnetic -with little bits of metal stuck all over her front.The things y’do for love.
To: Richard McEnroe
Status: Marginally Top Secret
DearSupervisor of Branch M:
The minion named MarkL has officially reached the “running amock and needs to be watched closely” stage of his ascension to a henchman. Please read his recent status report:
We VRWC minions have stealthily replaced their ‘peace tree’ with a young triffid. Pleasepleaseplease keep it for just one more year. Then it will start its killing rampage among the moonbats.
In addition, recent reports have come to me that he obtained the Peace Tree by he and several other minions having dressed up in Australian political dress (including top hats and epaulets) and accepted the Peace Tree from Sheehan and the rest of the loons. Word has it that they plan to craft it into a paddle which they will proffer to Andrea. While this type of sucking up could be characterized as showing initiative, it is completely unauthorized.
We will continue
medicatingmonitoring MarkL’s actions and will apprise you accordingly.
wronwrightPosted by wronwright on 2006 05 28 at 09:24 AM • permalink
Wouldnt it be a fun guesture if Howard accepted it, then planted it on Saddams grave after he swings.
Cindy and a whole bunch of others would pop a nut
I was thinking along similar lines. Only have Howard accept it and have the army (or whoever) fire it from some sort of big gun in their next artillery salvo.Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 05 28 at 09:32 AM • permalink
- The meter is a bit off, so apologies.
I think that I shall never see
A moonbat trying to plant a tree,
A tree whose point is peaceful peace
And something about war’s decease(d).
An innocent tree bearing Cindy’s crap,
that continues to drop its sticks and sap;
HoWARd is right to reject this tree,
This phony bit of peacenickery,
Whose branches would condemn “illegal” war
Although we know who it’s really for.
St. Mother and ilk want peace you see,
But only fools like them would use a tree.
- wronwright — Shtum, son.
They only think it’s a triffid. I picked it up on the cheap from a Japanese adult anime studio I
worked forheard about.Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 28 at 11:33 AM • permalink
- I think Howard is well advised to avoid geeks bearing gifts.
What did the tree ever do to deserve this?
My thoughts exactly.
Can the Mother Sheehan Traveling Minstrel Show get any more ridiculous?Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 05 28 at 12:09 PM • permalink
- the tree is a peace hostage … its rights are being violated
U.S. Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas once based a dissent on the legal theory that trees have standing to sue and be a party to litigation. Where are the enviros now that a tree’s rights are being so heinously violated for political ends?
Free the tree!Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2006 05 28 at 12:47 PM • permalink
- Angrily thrusts arms into tweed jacket with intellectual-looking elbow patches and grabs NEW pipe: the German ommpah pipe with the LID ON THE BOWL. Absently fills with tobacco. Strange, this stuff looks a bit powdery. Lights up.
I think the PM should be careful to allow for the sheer maliciousness of the peace tree people (puff, puff). It is quite possible that the tree in question may be the castor bean plant (Ricinus communis), every part of which is potentially lethal (d-r-a-w-, puff, puff). Or, it could well be one of the six species of stinging tree, indigenous to Australia: perhaps the most poisonous and painful of the lot, the gympie-gympie(Dendrocnide moroides). Puff, puff. In any event, I advise strict botanical security measures.
Dang! This stuff tastes foul, and I can barely keep the pipe lit. What the . . . this isn’t my tobacco jar! What does this say? “In loving memory of Uncle Hubert: May angels waft him to his eternal reward”. Oops! Sorry Uncle Hubert: looks like you’ve been recycled – twice.
- Hey man, has anybody seen my stash? I was keeping it in this urn on Paco’s mantlepiece. Who’s been in here?
WRONWRIGHT?! Where is that little weasel, this has got his thumbprints all over it!Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 05 28 at 01:50 PM • permalink
- Poor wronwright. I blame myself. He was traumatized when, during an unsuccessfuly attempt to steal back his spear, he caught sight of Bertha in her (well, it’s) locked case. I hear he hasn’t been the same since; it’s no wonder he’s turned to smoking substances.
Oh, it’s paco? Never mind.Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 05 28 at 02:10 PM • permalink
- Free the tree! It longs to escape the cold, clammy hands of the Peace Mother and breathe the non-hemp smelling fresh air of freedom!Posted by Randal Robinson on 2006 05 28 at 02:15 PM • permalink
- Is it a larch? Or a shrubbery?Posted by andycanuck on 2006 05 28 at 03:10 PM • permalink
- (Whoa. Nobody told me that Andrea is keeping Weapons of Mass Destruction. Truth be known, she probably pilfered them from Iraq just before the Marines reached Baghdad. She can NOT be trusted. I told Tim Blair that, last time he made me make out his Trip Tik for his Route 66 road trip across America. But does he listen to me? Noooo.
I must have Bertha. And lil fren. They will MAKE my wall collection, which admittedly is a bit bare right now thanks to Andrea, Amazon Warrior Queen and Official Smiter of the Profane and Annoying. I also want back my Zulu spear and Norman shield. And damn it, now that I think about it, my Sumerian helmet and Egyptian rod are missing too.
That’s it! I’ve had it. I’ll go back to Italy and get my crack team of Islamic terriers. They won’t fail me).Posted by wronwright on 2006 05 28 at 05:21 PM • permalink
- I looked at the “Medical Association for the Prevention of War” website. There’s one person there whose face I recognise and I am not in the teeniest, tiniest bit surprised to see it in that context. It’s the face of one of those people whose splendid efforts over the years have helped produce our current situation re indigenes. Still, the point is that this person Cares and, as all Intellectually and Morally Superior Caring People know, Caring is an excellent substitute for wisdom, courage, knowing what you’re actually talking about and many other qualities that require more than the mere capacity to Emote.
- blogstrop — I’m more into the “Behave yourself and maybe I’ll stop stepping on your neck” kind of peace.Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 28 at 08:26 PM • permalink
- I have a peace ocelot that I want to present to the Prime Minister. If he does not accept and care for the peace ocelot, that just proves that he is an evil warmongering nazi. I mean, obviously, if he wasn’t an evil warmongering nazi, then he’d accept the peace ocelot with open (but hopefully well-covered) arms, because it symbolises peace. It stands to reason.
Later this week my colleagues will be trying to present him with a peace wheelbarrow, a peace ostrich, a peace water buffalo and a peace Leyland P76. If he fails to accept any of these, he hates our troops and wants them dead. QED.Posted by blandwagon on 2006 05 28 at 09:34 PM • permalink
- I saw Ms Sheehan on Southern Cross 10 last night attempting to present the peace shrub outside Kirribilli. To me, she looks and behaves like someone’s kooky great aunt from the country in some American TV sitcom circa 1960. Pity Bea Benederet is dead, she could play Cidy to a T in any biopic!!Posted by Consuela Potez on 2006 05 28 at 09:48 PM • permalink
- SCD 10:
Perhaps the whole story of poisoning the Labor tree is one of those false but believable things.
Glyphosphate does not work too well against woody weeds, let alone large trees.
Old gum trees, like political parties, are known to pine away and die when the environment no longer supports them.
I plan to plant a little white cross in front of the local Democratic PArty office for every peace tree that dies in support of this lame stunt.Posted by memomachine on 2006 05 28 at 11:02 PM • permalink
- #6 Inurbanus & #8 Nic
ha ha ha, that’s good
#31 too true, Janice.
Cindy and a whole bunch of others would pop a nut…
whaddya mean “would”?
#24 Paco, you don’t know how funny that is to me…
After Dad died he stayed at home for some months until Mum organised for him to be
sprinkleddispersed from his friend’s aeroplane over a gorge south of Sydney. My Grandma was a bit cranky about it, she didn’t like him hanging around in his little blue plastic box.
One day I will tell you the one about Mrs Isaac Goldstein. (Do those of the jewish faith cremate?)
- #36.Method of application is critical if you are using glysophate to kill eucalypts.Forget drilling holes.All you need to do is put a few half-inch deep cuts into the bark and paint on the glysophate.In fact if your timing is right you don’t even need the cuts,just painting it on will do the job but either way it MUST be done during the growing season when the sap is rising.Velpar works even better as it’s a soil residual herbicide and only needs to be poured onto the ground around the base the tree.
- #42 Lew
ex wanted to poison a eucalypt which he’d chopped down and asked me (gardener) what he should do. I said you don’t need much glyphosate, just drill through the bark, not deep, just thru the bark, into the growing part of the tree, just under the bark, then put the glyphosate in the holes. Only a couple. Well, he obviously didn’t listen to me (that bloody black hole/time warp between my mouth and his ears, of course!), he drilled lots of long holes and filled them with the glyphosate – which surprisingly enough is dear as poison – what a waste.
The tree died, but he used half of his glyphosate. 5L costs about 80 bucks.
- The International Alan Conspiracy will (real soon now) present Mr. Howard to the Peace Dragon Blorg. Blorg will hug him and squeeze and call him “George”. (Blorg is a sawbuck short of a horde.)
BTW, if you happen to see a 5 ton fire-breathing dragon with a rather vapid look on his face, could you get in touch with us?
His sedative is about to wear offHe’s been without his medication for a couple of days, and we’re worried about his condition.Posted by mythusmage on 2006 05 29 at 12:11 AM • permalink
- #45 Thanks Lew. But this was before Bunnings.
I love Bunnings. They have all sorts of stuff for the whole family. Big boy’s toyshop. Homeowners/handyman’s card-melting toyshop. I even got a sign for the wall at work – DANGER Guard Dogs. hee hee. (But people still keep coming in and bothering me!) I recently bought some not roundup glyphosate quite cheaply. My last trip to Bunnings cost me over $250. Grey water hose, couple of dunny seats, a good garden hose with brass fittings, some garden hose fittings, etc… couple of stainless steel thingys to connect the grey water hose (now can someone tell me why a greywater hose which is purple – non potable colour – costs so much more than the ordinary garden variety? I know it’s special plastic to resist the UV whatever rays. But someone’s making a shitload of money out of these!)
Right now I am trying to burn my firewood before the termites eat it. The termites are winning. ‘cept the ones that get put in the fire. The original wood off the property is ironbark, but the stuff I bought to burn is crap and the termites have been having a feast on it. *sigh* I suppose as long as they aren’t eating the house…
- #48 Anagallis,
Nah, she’d just make a bong out of it.Posted by Daniel San on 2006 05 29 at 03:33 AM • permalink
- VRWC Miniongramme #94/06
The minion who blabbed to Henchman Wronwright about the Australian political dress (moonbats for the confusing of) has been disciplined. While blabbing to the Henchmen is expected and indeed encouraged, the minion regulations state that it has to be after a sound thrashing (riding crops are preferred, but a sound kicking is also fine) and the blabber must be accurate when blabbing to the blabbee. As Wronwright’s memo below shows, he was not accurate and the thrashing was sub-par. Wronwright needs to improve his backswing. The uniform for fooling American moonbats includes Akubra’s (with dangling corks), really wide epaulettes and arm braid, not top hats. They are for the French moonbats. Get it right when blabbing, people!
Anyway, I am pleased to note that RebeccaH’s brand new bastinado room works well. Howard the Enceladan cleaned up afterwards. His #5 tongue has no fangs and is a superb marble polisher – hey, who knew?
<OK, OK, Aside from the minionettes, yes, it is four feet long and he does breathe through his ears. Too much detail, thanks.>
The tree has been relocated to the one place the henchman can never find it, and genetic forcing has already quadrupled it in size. There are 19 deception plans in place. The triffid team is to be congratulated that the deception plan about the anime studio is still working. It has certainly achived the difficult feat of fooling Henchman McEnroe. Meanwhile the merciless butchery of tree-hugging Greenie protesters in the Tasmanian forests continues unabated. Very few survive the triffids, which are trained to flee the sound of chainsaws and heavy diesel engines so the nice loggers are unaware even of their existence.
OK, team, we have a busy day ahead tomorrow. I have to take that latest order (the hand-made endangered Tasmanian Huon Pine light stand with Greenie-skin lampshade) to the Honourable Mistress Andrea. She appreciates her extended trophy room and is adjusting the lighting. Oh, three cleaning teams are to report there first thing. I did not think those Roman style human torches (moonbats wrapped in oil soaked linen) would be too successful. Delightful colour of light and aural effects – but the soot is a mongrel to clean up. Yes, yes, we used VRWC approved low-soot, tofu-fed all-organic full-vegan moonbats already! Might as well have used Michael Moore as far as soot is concerned.
Also, the evil plan for senior moonbat Kerry to “hear voices in his head telling him to tell the world again about his Swiftboat heroism” is working brilliantly. Well done to the temporal ventriloquists. Lord Howard and the Dark Lord Rove have been briefed personally by me, and (quote) WE are PLEASED and AMUSED (unquote: and in their own dark, Olympian way, of course).
So it’s a mammoth’n’mead night tonight in celebration! The minionettes will be performing the dance of
seven veilsno veils at all.
PS. The prototype MarkL Patented VRWC Tectonic Terroriser (TM. Pend.) is NOT to be used to try and generate good surf on your days off! The prototype has only been complete a week and already some of you buggers have used it to promote a BBQ event in Java (Mt Merapi and the Yogyakarta quake) and generate good surf in Tonga (yesterday’s quake and the eruption of Benbow and Marum volcanoes in Vanuatu). QUIT IT or I’ll feed you to Paco’s pet Allosaur. You lot KNOW the testing is to be done on US east coast moonbat colonies after I present it to the Dark Lord as a gift. Which I must do right now.
- What?! MarkL, you’re not allowed to talk to Karl. eever. You’re a minion. A minnnnnniiiiiiiooooooonnnnnnn.
Know your place minion!
(slaps his apprentice with Barbaro Brand riding crop)
Oh, you’re getting uppity.Posted by wronwright on 2006 05 29 at 07:28 AM • permalink
- This is true, Glorious Senior Henchman Wronwright, inventor of the Tardis and supplier of unbelievable quantities of trilobites, absolutely true.
But even a mere humble minion can be invited to speak.
Besides, I trained his dad. You just do not want to know what in….. besides, I’m sworn to secrecy.
Anyhoo, he liked the Tectonic Terroriser and I have a new, unutterably gruesome, but strangely hilarious project.
The Testicular Terroriser. He wants it as a present for someone.
- Ushie, the Dark Lord asked it of me. He was reading Spike Milligan wherein are the lines ‘he wore a truss, and it played merry hell with his testicles.’ So he said ‘I want to be able to play merry hell with the testicles of any moonbat in the world, any time, from the dank comfort of my skull throne here at VRWC HQ.’
So far, we have the testicle detector breadboarded, but it is playing up. The test group: Howard, Bush, Blair, Paco, Wronwright, McEnroe – testicles, the lot of ‘em. Quite big ones in most cases, some made of brass. Same with a lot of Danish theologians from the Danish People’s Church.
and scroll down a post.
The ‘don’t go there function’ works – we tried it on Andrea and it said ‘As even thinking this is worth more than your miserable life is worth, are you really, really sure you want to do this?’
But there are still problems. We tried it on Kim Beazely, Kevin Rudd, John Kerry, Michael Moore, Zarkawi, Ahmadinejad and George C Looney and it said ‘no sign of any testicles at all, at least above three angstroms in size’.
It said Hillary Clinton HAD testicles, went ‘WOOT!!’ when we pointed it at Condi Rice, and said ‘you are shitting me, aren’t you, sunshine?’ when we pointed it at Julia Gillard. Then it sulked for three days and refused to work.
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