Toughness proposed

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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:31 am

Sheriff Kofi has plum had it with them suicidin’ bomber boys, and danged if he ain’t gonna put a stop to their self-killin’ shenanigans:

Secretary General Kofi Annan on Monday will propose establishing new rules for the use of military force, adopting a tough anti-terrorism treaty that would punish suicide bombers, and overhauling the United Nation’s discredited human rights commission, according to a confidential draft of a report on U.N. reform.

“You blow youself up on my watch,” warned the steely-eyed Ghanaian lawman, “and that’ll be the last thing you do, mark my words.”

Posted by Tim B. on 03/22/2005 at 01:47 AM
    1. Sheeeit… man can’t even keep his own troops in line.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 03/22 at 01:55 AM • permalink


    1. Among the punishments for suicide bombers: Not being able to lead the human rights commission.

      Posted by Sortelli on 03/22 at 02:00 AM • permalink


    1. Hmmm,

      We had better keep an eye on them! You know they might want to put them in the comfy chair without serving the 3:00pm coffee without cream and sugar. We wouldn’t want Amnesty Interantional getting their noses out of joint. Or even worse, they might want to read French poetry.

      Posted by Marcus Aurelius on 03/22 at 02:09 AM • permalink


    1. Yeah you laugh, wait untill he starts handing out fines. Then, once that problem’s solved, he can work on stopping his own ‘peacekeepers’ from raping 13-year-old girls and his own staff from embezzling money.

      Hey! If we burnt down the UN building then dragged the UN staff out the front and put a bullet in their heads, then partially cannibalised the corpses befor throwing them, stinking and bloated, into a shallow pit while dancing around chattering and shrieking, clothed only in their blood, do you think Kofi would be ‘concerned’ or would our actions merely be charicterised as ‘unhelpful’?

      Apparently you can commit any crime, right up to and exeeding every known barbarity humanity is capable of, and even invent some new ones, with the complete indifference (and occasional collusion) of the UN, so I say bring it on!

      It’s a brave new world you’re building Kofi, you worthless whore.

      Posted by Amos on 03/22 at 02:14 AM • permalink


    1. Amos that would be deeply concerned.

      Posted by raider580 on 03/22 at 02:26 AM • permalink


    1. No raider, he would start out being Concerned, then Very Concerned, then Deeply Concerned, but after that he has nowhere to go so he is back to just being concerned again.

      Posted by tmck on 03/22 at 02:31 AM • permalink


    1. Amos:

      Apparently you can commit any crime, right up to and exeeding every known barbarity humanity is capable of, and even invent some new ones, with the complete indifference (and occasional collusion) of the UN, so I say bring it on!

      Only if you are not White, Male and ‘Merican.  Otherwise, the world’s your oyster.

      Posted by gregbash on 03/22 at 02:32 AM • permalink


    1. “Ya better believe it, pilgrim, or you’re dead where ya stand.” – Kofi Riflemannan.

      Posted by Habib on 03/22 at 02:46 AM • permalink


    1. What, Kofi has a direct line to Allah?  Will those 72 virgins in Paradise be changed to 72 Maureen Dowd clones?  Stay tuned for further details!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 03/22 at 02:50 AM • permalink


    1. Oh yeah I forgot, whitey is supposed to know better.

      Posted by Amos on 03/22 at 03:59 AM • permalink


    1. Yeah, Kofi as the UN version of the soup nazi “no young children for you”

      Posted by Nic on 03/22 at 04:27 AM • permalink


    1. Amos

      your comments are unhelpful and we are deeply concerned that your efforts may distract us from reaching the milestones in our program of Global Peace.

      We are happy and gratified that the situation in the Sudan has reached an agreement, without serious loss of life, and we now feel able to move on from that particular issue.

      As you may already know we are also keen to pursue the suicide bombers and bring them before the International Court of Justice, where they will be exposed to the force of our judiciary.

      Posted by rog2 on 03/22 at 04:40 AM • permalink


    1. Whitey does know better.  It’s not the same Whitey as in yesteryear!  Of course, if you don’t like Whitey, you can always go with Hamid.  That would be, Hamid “get down and pray – and don’t mind if I pork you in the a** – because Allah was that way, and, by the way, Allah wants to kill all of you”.

      Posted by gregbash on 03/22 at 04:46 AM • permalink


    1. I suppose it would punish suicide bombers if any funds passed to their families to compensate for their “sacrifice” were confiscated.

      Posted by rexie on 03/22 at 04:52 AM • permalink


    1. Soldier: “It’s against Roman law to take one’s own life.  The penalty’s death.”

      Hero: “Then I’ll fight a gladiator.”

      S: “You might win.”

      H: “Yeah!”

      A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum.

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 03/22 at 04:53 AM • permalink


    1. Your not the first person to be concerned at my unhelpfulness.

      Posted by Amos on 03/22 at 04:58 AM • permalink


    1. rog2 /amos:

      You two are Wacked !

      Posted by gregbash on 03/22 at 05:03 AM • permalink


    1. Maybe the punishment will involve destroying the residence where the suicide bomber lived…

      Posted by Rob Read on 03/22 at 06:49 AM • permalink


    1. Kofi, the man of – aluminium foil?

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 03/22 at 06:51 AM • permalink


    1. But, they’re Martyrs.

      Posted by aaron_ on 03/22 at 08:22 AM • permalink


    1. Well, at least it’s a start. [Where are those fucking smileys when you need them?]
      Posted by J. Peden on 03/22 at 10:59 AM • permalink


    1. Rog2

      I think more study of these vexing problems are in order before any precipitous action is taken.  A committee must be formed, research must be done, reports must be presented to the various agencies.  Then and only then, will the statute of limitations have passed.

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 03/22 at 11:44 AM • permalink


    1. Hey guys, this thread is most unhelpful.
      If this continues I will be forced to write a very strongly worded letter.

      Wish me mate Arafat was here, I need a hug.
      Arafat was so much better at it than Jaques.

      Seriously people, we all know that no international law regarding suicide bombers is going to apply to the palestinians – kinda how the international law that says a coutry doesn’t have to readmit a hostile population doesn’t apply to Israel.

      Posted by Kofi Annan on 03/22 at 12:40 PM • permalink


    1. Query: will the new “get tough” measures also change blue-helmet rules of engagement to allow something beyond securing roads and airports for evacuation of non-military UN personnel? Like, going outside the airport gates – or at least opening fire – to quell rioters who are killing people within sight of the helmeted ones?

      Posted by John Anderson on 03/22 at 02:55 PM • permalink


    1. Paul Wolfowitz at the World Bank.

      Anne Veneman at UNICEF.

      I say it’s time for Donald Rumsfeld to take over as Sec-Gen of the UN.

      Posted by steve68 on 03/22 at 07:38 PM • permalink


    1. Yeah, and Dubya can run Greenpeace.

      Posted by DK Lillee on 03/22 at 08:29 PM • permalink


    1. Fuck yeah, then maybe Greenplease will stop yanking food out of the hands of starving people in Africa.

      I take back everything I said about you, Lillee, you had at least ONE good idea in that head of yours.

      Posted by Sortelli on 03/23 at 02:47 AM • permalink


    1. I see that while I was at work another player has been sin-binned. No, not just footballer John Hopawate, but DK Lillee too.
      These guys seem to keep on appearing, like an uninvited maiden aunt at your dinner party, saying “Rosceo, Rog2, Sortelli, Sonetka, and (if they are really looking for a fight) Habib – I’m so ashamed of you, sitting there making flippant conversation, eating, drinking. Come on, stop it at once, and get on with something much more useful like doing those chores I asked you to do yesterday”.
      And they are no doubt both puzzled and a bit offended when they are given their marching orders.

      Posted by blogstrop on 03/23 at 05:55 AM • permalink


    1. tim
      re kofi’s punishment for suicide bombers – have you read scrappleface lately?

      Posted by gphot on 03/23 at 07:18 AM • permalink


  1. “Do what he says..Do what he says”
    Clevon Little in Blazing Saddles

    Posted by bc on 03/23 at 10:45 AM • permalink