Total defeat

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Last updated on July 14th, 2017 at 01:48 pm

So John Howard lost. But how did some of this site’s other favourites fare? Let’s check ‘em out:


Unbelievably, despite extensive television and online promotion and the support of Phillip Adams, the Climate Changelings scored fewer than eight thousand votes. Out of more than 13 million.


The blonde, Prius-driving Wentworth eco-candidate won massive pre-poll publicity (mostly from the ABC) which she converted into six hundred whole votes. Below one per cent, in other words.


Our final hope for electoral success put up a grand fight, possibly deploying crystals and even runes in a desperate New Age bid for victory. Alas:

Assistant Health Minister Christopher Pyne appears to have just scraped home ahead of one of Labor’s young stars, Mia Handshin.

And people think we live in a democracy.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/26/2007 at 10:22 AM
    1. Phatty: Why it’s great to see him go

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 26 at 10:31 AM • permalink


    1. … possibly deploying crystals and even runes in a desperate New Age bid for victory …

      That’s very good.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 11 26 at 10:34 AM • permalink


    1. At least one anti-Israel group in Adelaide sought to kick Pyne out of his seat holding public meetings to “educate” people about his pro-Israel, pro-democracy stance. Good to hear that these moves achieved nothing at all.

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 11 26 at 10:48 AM • permalink


    1. #3, kisdfm001, on the contrary.  Those meetings might have educated people into voting the right way.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 26 at 11:00 AM • permalink


    1. 8,000 votes
      600 votesHa!  More people saw “Redacted” up here in Seppostan!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 26 at 11:01 AM • permalink


    1. #4 – You could be right there. God knows any forum championed by the likes of Damian Lataan is likely to convince me to do the opposite of whatever ends they had in mind.

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 11 26 at 11:06 AM • permalink


    1. But the Climate Changers beat the Non-Custodial Parents, The What Women Want, and Fishing Party’s combined in a landslide!

      Posted by Bobo on 2007 11 26 at 11:09 AM • permalink


    1. Hey! Fair go for Dani. She did achieve a positive 0.88 swing. Presumably over what she got last time, which was…wait…I’m trying to find it…wait…I’ll get back to you…

      Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 11 26 at 11:10 AM • permalink


    1. He he he. The Climate Change Coalition spend so much time convincing us that Climate Change is real, and they still don’t get any amount of votes worth counting.

      I like it.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 26 at 12:07 PM • permalink


    1. Wow…the Liberal Party have really sunk to new lows. If it makes you feel better comparing your landslide defeat to the misfortunes of these fringe parties than go for it.

      Whatever makes you feel a bit better….it’s gonna be a long stint on the opposition benches/

      Posted by agile on 2007 11 26 at 03:21 PM • permalink


    1. #10 Since when did the commenters here become the Liberal Party?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 26 at 03:24 PM • permalink


    1. Well, we gather our meager rosebuds where we can in these days of darkest travail.  Thanks for caring.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 26 at 03:25 PM • permalink


    1. I saw the “What Women Want” party on the ballot. Now if there’d been an “Apocalypto” candidate, or a “Lethal Weapon 2” party, I might have voted for them.

      Posted by ooh honey honey on 2007 11 26 at 03:26 PM • permalink


    1. For all those defenders of Workchoices in here you might be interested in what senior Libs have to say on the matter:

      SENIOR Liberals including the leadership contenders Malcolm Turnbull and Tony Abbott say the party should dump Work Choices, the policy that cost them so dearly under John Howard’s reign.

      Frustrations with Mr Howard for staying too long as leader boiled over yesterday, as former senior ministers Alexander Downer and Nick Minchin revealed they had asked him to stand aside as prime minister.

      Mr Turnbull and Brendan Nelson emerged as the frontrunners for the Liberal leadership as the disintegration of the old guard continued apace with the resignation of the Nationals leader, Mark Vaile.

      “Robert Menzies would be turning in his grave if he saw the condition his beloved party was in today,” said Michael Kroger, the Victorian Liberal Party identity and close friend of Peter Costello, who has abandoned his long-term ambition to take over from Mr Howard.

      Mr Kroger said the party was at its lowest point since it was founded. It was in government nowhere and its organisation was in bad shape.

      Mr Turnbull and Mr Abbott – as well as the former minister Helen Coonan – agreed that Labor had a mandate to abolish Work Choices and that the Liberal Party had to distance itself from the policy. The former minister Christopher Pyne, who will square off against Andrew Robb and possibly Julie Bishop for the deputy leadership, said: “There’s no need for us to hang on to old shibboleths. The Liberal Party is not wedded to policies from the previous government.”


      Posted by agile on 2007 11 26 at 03:42 PM • permalink


    1. Hey agile, its great that you’re here to educate us on why we’re all terrible terrible people, but I think you’ve made your point.

      So fuck off.

      I mean that in the nicest way.

      Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 26 at 03:53 PM • permalink


    1. Patterico has your backs:

      Posted by mojo on 2007 11 26 at 03:54 PM • permalink


    1. And yes, agile, it was probably a swing against Workchoices. I doubt any party will want to touch workplace reform with a ten foot pole. Unlike you, I don’t see this as necessarily a good thing. There will come a day when reform is necessary, and thanks to idiots like yourself and the union movement, this will now become harder. My only hope is that is it is the ALP that finds itself in power when reform is needed.

      Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 26 at 04:01 PM • permalink


    1. Dani got what she wanted.  I doubt she even voted for herself.  She just wanted to kick George in the balls in the most publicly possible manner.

      If you define success that way, Newhouses’s balls are currently dangling around his ears.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 26 at 04:05 PM • permalink


    1. Agile

      Got a question for you.

      The oil price is currently still over $US90 a barrel.  The Australian dollar has peaked at 90 cents and is now sliding.

      What happens if it drops below 80 cents and the oil price stays up?  (I’ll give you a hint – the pump price of petrol will jump like a tasered goat).

      Kevin’s response will be:

      A). Blame the oil companies
      B). Call a Royal Commission to investigate oil company profits
      C). Blame the previous government, or
      D). Cut the excise on petrol
      E). Decapitate some independent petrol station owners and display their heads on pikes outside Parliament House
      F). Post union heavies at all petrol stations to intimidate owners into not raising prices
      G). Panic at the thought of having to deal with a “crisis”
      H). Dance with Mel
      I). Cosy up to Chavez and arrange imports of cheap Venezualean crude

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 26 at 04:12 PM • permalink


    1. J) Actually set up an effective team to look into price fixing and at least bring prices to what their market levels dictate.

      (At least give him a chance to fail at this before crucifying him on his 3rd day in office)

      Posted by agile on 2007 11 26 at 04:19 PM • permalink


    1. Labor win at the weekend ..

      oh well
      faeces happens

      Posted by Wotchathink on 2007 11 26 at 04:36 PM • permalink


    1. “Dump Workchoices”? That’s about the only reason I voted liberal. Workchoices didn’t go far enough for Christ’s sake!
      Ah well, we shall all have to work that much harder now, creating even more wealth to feed the insatiable furnace of redistribution….

      Posted by ooh honey honey on 2007 11 26 at 04:39 PM • permalink


    1. Agile, as some others have noted already labour market reform was badly needed and remains necessary. I’m just hoping that Rudd will be able to stand up to the dinosaurs on his side. I don’t like his chances though considering the fire he is already taking from Gillard and union heavies.
      Unfair dismissal laws were simply legalised extortion and very much stifled employment opportunities in small business. Flexibility in the workplace is desperately needed, without archaic penalty rates and work restrictions. I’m pretty sure that any tinkering with these areas will see umployment pop back up a couple of percent pretty damn quick. The unions are interested in their members only, not the poor bastards who will bear the brunt of the increase.
      Maybe Rudd will have the brains to simply soften the impact while keeping some reforms but I doubt it.

      Posted by Harold on 2007 11 26 at 05:14 PM • permalink


    1. #20 so J is the same as B……but you fantasise that is make a lot of noise about a headline issue while not actually doing anything to prevent flow on effects.

      You just missed mr Creosote’s underlying message of fiddling while Rome burns.

      Posted by entropy on 2007 11 26 at 05:20 PM • permalink


    1. #23 agree.  It is very clear that Rudd has a mandate to implement the changes that the ALP took to the election.  The libs should allow these changes in the senate.These alone will have some impact on unemployment, not sure if it would be a couple of percent.  maybe one percent as the market is already tight.

      If he goes further, at this stage he will get away with it as it is a long time before the next election.  However the libs should block these on principle.  The problem with reducued flexibility in the workplace is that it makes recessions worse.

      Having experienced the joy of entering the job market during the Keating recession, I would much rather have contract flexibility that losing my job altogether (which happened three times as the organisations jettisoned new staff).

      Posted by entropy on 2007 11 26 at 05:26 PM • permalink


    1. Is this Kevin Rudd’s Australia?

      Posted by Apple77 on 2007 11 26 at 06:03 PM • permalink


    1. J could also be A plus price controls.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 26 at 06:08 PM • permalink


    1. Looks like ALL of Philip Adams’ listeners must have voted for the CCC.

      Posted by wanglese on 2007 11 26 at 06:10 PM • permalink


    1. #20 set up an effective team to look into price fixing and at least bring prices to what their market levels dictate

      which is A, B and no explanation of how that will lower prices.

      at least bring prices to what their market levels dictate” so you think he may set the price to less than what the market dictates?

      agile, do you think Rudd’s commission would declare that the world market level really, really meant to dictate $15/barrel because there are no reasons for the price of oil to be high?  Or do you expect the price fixing to be with the station owners? Did you consider that Rudd could tackle the monetary issue mr creosote presented and peg the price of the Aus$ to 95% of the USD? (heh)

      Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 11 26 at 07:17 PM • permalink


    1. #20 set up an effective team to look into price fixing and at least bring prices to what their market levels dictate

      Do you know what the Singapore refinery price is?

      Do you know what the profit margin on petrol is for service station owners?

      I know both! (It’s rare I feel so clever for having such basic knowledge.) You’ll notice me NOT lining up for your heads-on-pikes option, already outlined as E) and F)

      Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 26 at 07:31 PM • permalink


    1. For the viewers at home: what agile doesn’t know is that State and Fed governments make 30-50 cents on every litre of fuel, compared to as little as 2 cents a litre for servo owners.

      Let’s see what happens next!

      Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 26 at 07:35 PM • permalink


    1. possibly deploying crystals and even runes

      Next election she should bring out the big guns and channel the ancestral dolphin spirits.

      Posted by bondo on 2007 11 26 at 07:53 PM • permalink


    1. Hey, agile – When is the PM going to make it rain?  Also, what is he going to do about the State and Local Governemnts restriciting the supply of new land thereby forcing up land prices?

      Oh, and the WA ALP State Government came to power 6 years ago on a promise to Fix the health system.  The waiting lists have barely changed and yesterday, on a Monday, the Ambulance Service had to send stretchers to emergency departments because they were waiting to long to hand over patients.  How long will Rudd take to “fix” the health system?

      Posted by Razor on 2007 11 26 at 08:36 PM • permalink


    1. 33- I think the health system needs 10 years to be “fixed”.

      I hope Rudd is the man to do it and applaud him for at least have the guts to try.

      The health system cannot be blamed on one party. It is a problem going back decades and both Libs and Labor have been in power at Federal and State level during that time.

      Time will tell…

      Posted by agile on 2007 11 26 at 09:19 PM • permalink


    1. #33
      As soon as he ratifies Kyoto in Bali, the drought will end.
      The climate will stop changing.
      All will be right with the world.That’s what they voted for, wasn’t it?

      Oh, and a more touchy-feely government.


      Posted by kae on 2007 11 26 at 09:31 PM • permalink


    1. 34. Fixing specific problems in specific areas would take a few months. 6 months would almost totally repair the problems in Wagga Wagga Base, which services most of the State, geographically. The point is that the worst problems are in the State areas of responsibility- areas in which the Federation is not normally permitted to intervene.

      Over the time that these problems have been worsening, the State governments have been Labor and awash in unexpected tax revenues to the tune of 8 billion dollars and more in NSW alone.

      Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 26 at 10:03 PM • permalink


    1. On another note, while it is pleasing to see the Dems and these minor parties get a kicking, what did our new Libertarian party the LDP get?

      Posted by ChrisPer on 2007 11 26 at 10:18 PM • permalink


    1. I suspect, a kicking. But I’m only guessing.

      Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 26 at 10:21 PM • permalink


    1. #35 Touchy and feely government, guaranteed.

      They’ll touchy and feely your wallet and bank account.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 26 at 10:27 PM • permalink


    1. That turd Rudd has already showed he has no memory of his own action. eg:

      1. he opposed GST, and all the other coalition policies that won them 2 elections when he was a member, on the ground he was voted in on his platform.

      2. coalition now say they will oppose his IR law changes in the senate.

      3. HIS pot kettle black response – hey, didn’t the Australian public have their say 2 days ago about this?

      Well yes Kevin, and they didn’t all vote for you, ya fucknut!  So the coalition in the senate can vote in accordance with their elected policies, and you can go cry home to Therese.

      God, 3 years of this wanker forgetting his own conduct and being an embarassment on the world stage is going to be tough going.

      Posted by peter m on 2007 11 26 at 11:47 PM • permalink


    1. #20

      Actually set up an effective team to look into price fixing and at least bring prices to what their market levels dictate.

      That made me laugh. Set up another f’ing committee. Yeah right, that will solve the problem.
      Rudd’s committees are a substitute for making tough decisions.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 11 27 at 01:42 AM • permalink


    1. “Dump Workchoices”? That’s about the only reason I voted liberal. Workchoices didn’t go far enough for Christ’s sake!

      Rudd’s not going to go back to pre-workchoices. We’re getting Workchoices Lite, and even that will take a while to implement. In the meantime, Rudd will have to argue it out with Gillard and the unions about exactly how ‘lite’ it will be.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 11 27 at 01:47 AM • permalink


    1. The LDP polled as the top of the micro parties, with around 20,000 votes.

      0.13% in the HoR and 0.15% in the Senate. Doesn’t sopund like much but thats not too bad for a micro party.

      According to the LDP’s founder John Humphries:

      The only other micro party to run lots of candidates in the House was the CEC, and we beat them in nearly all electorates where we both ran. In the Senate we got a higher vote than CEC (0.07%), Socialist Alliance (0.08%), Non-custodial Parents (0.05%), Nuclear Disarmament (0.0%), Conservatives for Climate (0.05%), Hear our Voice (0.02%), Senator on-line (0.06%), Socialist Equality (0.05%) and nearly all of the independents, including ex-National James Baker, the unendorsed Secular party, and the S.A. libertarian independent Stewart Glass. Again, I think this outcome was largely to be expected.

      Posted by cyclosarin on 2007 11 27 at 02:19 AM • permalink


    1. #1. Again I read a Phillip Adams column and think “he made this up”. If this story were true he would have revealed it long ago.

      Posted by Contrail on 2007 11 27 at 02:43 AM • permalink


    1. Agile, you might want the acquaint yourself with these numbers.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 27 at 05:28 AM • permalink


    1. #45: the url has “Caltex” in it, you might as well point him to Karl Rove guest posting on Peter Costello’s blog on a ‘net terminal in Walmart sponsored by the AWB. If it said the sky was blue he’d say it was yellow with pink polkadots. I doubt he ever met a conspiracy theory he didn’t like, and remember, all companies lie all the time about everything.

      Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 27 at 07:37 AM • permalink


  1. #46

    The oil companies have to make a buck in order to pay their workforce.  I wonder which union all the refinery workers are a member of?  I’m sure they’d be pretty upset if layoffs and pay cuts resulted from a government induced profit squeeze.

    Same goes for all the TWU members who drive the stuff from the refineries to the petrol stations.

    But you are right.  I should have looked up that info on the ATO web site.  After all, i guess we could trust them to tell us the current rate of excise.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 27 at 08:30 AM • permalink