The chosen ones

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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 05:15 pm

The following email arrived a couple of months ago, sent by an irate Englishman:

Hi Tim,

How about a table showing how long it is since Australia won a cricket match?

Similar to what you did with the Pommy cricket team. You remember them, don’t you? They are the ones that would never win a game, while the Aussies were so far ahead that they were unbeatable.

They were the champions, the chosen ones, typical Aussies. Non-stop crowing and insults when you are winning, and when losing you hide away and sulk.

No reason to sulk this week; Australia last lost a World Cup match in 1999.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/30/2007 at 09:30 AM
    1. Every Englishman knows Australia has an unfair advantage.  The widespread sleep disorders caused by living upside down under then equator make transportees uniquely suited to staying awake long enough to watch or play an entire cricket match…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 30 at 09:54 AM • permalink


    1. Wasn’t it Ian Healey who came up with this nice little on TV comment (something like) –

      “We have set up a special hotline for depressed English cricket supporters and the number for them to call is 1800 101010, that is one eight hundred, won nothing, won nothing, won nothing”

      Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 04 30 at 09:57 AM • permalink


    1. What is this “cricket” of which you speak, stranger?…

      Posted by mojo on 2007 04 30 at 10:27 AM • permalink


    1. It’s what countries that recognise the ‘order of things’ play. Even when conducted very poorly by the rest other than Oz, as the World Cup has shown.

      Posted by CB on 2007 04 30 at 10:34 AM • permalink


    1. mojo

      It seems to be some form of sporting competition .

      Posted by Quidnunc Savant on 2007 04 30 at 11:01 AM • permalink


    1. Oh, burn…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 04 30 at 11:09 AM • permalink


    1. I know it is rather ill-mannered, however:

      Gloat, gloat, gloat.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 04 30 at 11:11 AM • permalink


    1. Wow it is almost Red Sox/Yankees in intensity.

      Posted by chrisbg99 on 2007 04 30 at 11:20 AM • permalink


    1. The rivalry I mean.

      Posted by chrisbg99 on 2007 04 30 at 11:21 AM • permalink


    1. How about a table showing how long it is since Australia won a cricket match?

      Okay, here you go…

      Days since Australia last won a cricket match – 2

      Posted by Zoidberg on 2007 04 30 at 06:39 PM • permalink


    1. wasnt me.  although it does strike me as odd how few of my fellow countrymen comment at this site.

      a little too strident in its beliefs and not appeasing enough, i expect.

      Posted by pommygranate on 2007 04 30 at 06:51 PM • permalink


    1. pommygranate.  Not strident, just a demonstration of the difference between swaggering and swishing (hint: elbows out, wronwright…)

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 30 at 08:22 PM • permalink


    1. The following email arrived a couple of months ago, sent by an irate Englishman:

      I ‘spect Tim keeps a file of these, just waitin’ for the right day…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 30 at 09:03 PM • permalink


    1. Speaking as someone who has dual citizenship, UK/Australian… I don’t watch the cricket.

      It’s difficult getting excited when England is playing, as you know who’s going to win – the other side. It’s equally difficult getting excited when Australia’s playing, as you know who’s going to lose – the other side.

      Never mind, any century now, Australia will be in eclipse and England in ascendency. Probably when the Red Sox win the Superbowl.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2007 04 30 at 09:43 PM • permalink


    1. Is the bloke serious? One dayers are all well and good, winning the World Cup – again – is fine, but its still only one day cricket.
      Does he not recall that in proper, as in Test, cricket there was the little five blot debacle in Oz just a few short months ago?

      Posted by hazza on 2007 04 30 at 10:21 PM • permalink


    1. The amazing truth is that the Aussie team looks like being able to replace the Great McGrath and even the Great Warne, and Langer and Martyn, without missing a beat, just as they lost Bevan and found an even better Hussey.

      Now I am not so sure this will be possible with the Great and Astonishing Gilchrist.

      Posted by Barrie on 2007 05 01 at 08:50 AM • permalink


    1. I thought matches ended when everybody playing quite forgot why they were there and wandered off to go birding.

      Posted by mythusmage on 2007 05 02 at 12:06 PM • permalink


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