Sour mapes

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Last updated on July 16th, 2017 at 11:50 am

Former CBS producer Mary Mapes, fired following the Dan Rather memo disgrace of 2004, continues her march to madness:

It has been three years since we aired our much-maligned story on President Bush’s National Guard service and reaped a whirlwind of right-wing outrage and talk radio retaliation. That part of the assault on our story was not unexpected. In September 2004, anyone who had the audacity to even ask impertinent questions about the president was certain to be figuratively kicked in the head by the usual suspects.

Mapes and Rather didn’t “ask impertinent questions”. They presented an illl-researched and easily debunked load of garbage as the truth.

What was different in our case was the brand new and bruising power of the conservative blogosphere, particularly the extremists among them. They formed a tightly knit community of keyboard assault artists who saw themselves as avenging angels of the right, determined to root out and decimate anything they believed to be disruptive to their worldview.

No; they simply disproved CBS’s memo story.

Instantly, the far right blogosphere bully boys pronounced themselves experts on document analysis, and began attacking the form and font in the memos.

Font haters!

But they captured the argument. They dominated the discussion by churning out gigabytes of mind-numbing internet dissertations about the typeface in the memos, focusing on the curl at the end of the “a,” the dip on the top of the “t,” the spacing, the superscript, which typewriters were used in the military in 1972.

This is called “research”. And, by the way, “mind-numbing internet dissertations” generally don’t capture arguments, on account of them being, well, mind-numbing and all. Critics of the Mapes/Rather report won notice because they argued smartly and presented compelling evidence.

It was a deceptive approach, and it worked.

Deception by facts. How downright sneaky!

Posted by Tim B. on 09/21/2007 at 12:59 PM
    1. Let me be the first to apologize for the wanton use of facts and reason !

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 09 21 at 01:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Mapes is in serious need of medication and straps.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 09 21 at 01:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Facts are lazy and facts are cruel
      Facts won’t prove what I want them to.
      —Talking Heads

      Posted by mojo on 2007 09 21 at 01:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. She’s just upset because the conservative blogosphere didn’t listen to its betters, namely Mary Mapes and Dan Rather.  The right is not supposed to question the MSM.

      Posted by rbj1 on 2007 09 21 at 01:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. Right now I just want it understood by all that I refuse to dress up again like “Lucy Ramirez” and pass any more fake memos to crazy anti-Bush liberals.  Those stilletto heels hurt my feet.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 21 at 01:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. March to madness? Then she’s been marching in place for years.

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 2007 09 21 at 01:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. wronwright: Right now I just never wanted to have that image stuck in my head.

      O_o;;

      Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 09 21 at 01:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wronwright, we all know what you keep in the closet off the Tardis control room.  And don’t think Karl has forgotten, either.

      I think Mary Mapes is just torqued that Dan Rather hasn’t included her in his $70 million lawsuit against CBS.  She probably thinks she deserves some of that action.  And since most legal experts seem to be dismissing the likelihood of the case even making it to court (while snickering behind their hands), I say she deserves it too.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 09 21 at 01:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hmmmm.

      If Mapes is feeling freaky then she can identify specific people/blogs that she feels were deceptive.

      Then those people can sue the living hell out of her for defamation.

      Posted by memomachine on 2007 09 21 at 01:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m not saying I don’t have the figure or legs to wear that black dress, dark hose, and black stilleto heels.  I’m just saying it was uncomfortable.

      But when Karl orders a person to carry out a mission, it gets carried out.  Regardless of whether I had a run in my stocking.  And no matching purse.  Or stylish earrings except for the pearls.  Which admittedly did look nice with the pearl necklace I borrowed from kae.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 21 at 01:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. Once again, it is shown that sour Mapes make the best whine.

      Posted by GPE on 2007 09 21 at 01:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. This, I think, is what mental pathologists refer to as “invincible stupidity.” Combined with “shameless dishonesty”, the result is a revolting mixture, indeed.

      In connection with Deranged Dan’s $70MM lawsuit against CBS, someone (I forgot who) pointed out the delicious possibility of CBS calling as defense witnesses some of the experts actually brought together by these “bully boy” right-wing bloggers.

      Mary Mapes is like the guy in Venezuela who woke up on the autopsy table (except, in her case, she’s telling the examiner to go ahead and finish, since he’s already started).

      Posted by paco on 2007 09 21 at 02:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. How does she function with a thought process like that?

      This is a perfect example of the social inbreeding of the left.  If she actually confronted anyone out of her mindset she might just park herself in the midddle of some street and go catatonic.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 09 21 at 03:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. In September 2004, anyone who had the audacity to even ask impertinent questions about the president was certain to be figuratively kicked in the head by the usual suspects.

      Quite a statement from someone who was figuratively kicking the President in the head!

      It was a deceptive approach, and it worked.

      “And my deceptive approach didn’t work…that’s not fair! waa waa waa”

      She’s certainly been taking her bitter pills.

      Posted by rinardman on 2007 09 21 at 03:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Right now I just want it understood by all that I refuse to dress up again like “Lucy Ramirez” and pass any more fake memos to crazy anti-Bush liberals.”

      wronwright—but you did so well last time…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 09 21 at 03:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. What a frothing twat is mapes.

      Posted by Bill Spencer on 2007 09 21 at 04:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. “..did look nice with the pearl necklace I borrowed ..”

      Sure lady, you “borrowed” a pearl necklace. I believe you, although thousands may not.

      Posted by CB on 2007 09 21 at 04:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. To hear a lefty bemoaning the impact of right-wing blogs is simply music to my ears. I was never much interested in blogs until last year, when I followed zombietime’s (and others’) expose on the ridiculous Lebanese ambulance missile strike story.

      Long live the Internet! Being generally more occupied with work and family, I believe conservatives were in desperate need of an unlimited easy-access platform from which to air their views and frustrations. And don’t the lefties hate it!

      This page alone has been viewed seven and a half million times. It’s difficult, I realise, to convert that figure into number of people, but it still seems like a lot. 100,1000 perhaps? Hey, maybe we should be getting paid for this. I alone deserve a free cheeseburger for all the tireless work I’ve put in over the past 12 months.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 09 21 at 05:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. #10
      Just remember I didn’t give it to you.

      Posted by kae on 2007 09 21 at 05:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. #10

      I’m not saying I don’t have the figure or legs to wear that black dress, dark hose, and black stilleto heels.  I’m just saying it was uncomfortable.

      But when Karl orders a person to carry out a mission, it gets carried out.  Regardless of whether I had a run in my stocking.  And no matching purse.  Or stylish earrings except for the pearls.  Which admittedly did look nice with the pearl necklace I borrowed from kae.

      The lengths some persons attempt in order to attend an OSU ‘football’ game.

      Cheers

      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 09 21 at 06:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Mapes says she is continuing to investigate the source of the controversial documents

      and

      She tells Ross that she had no journalistic obligation to prove the authenticity of the documents before including them in the “60 Minutes II” report. “I don’t think that’s the standard,” she said.

      So in 3 years she STILL cannot prove the authenticity of 1 document?  Give up sweetie.

      Posted by peter m on 2007 09 21 at 06:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. “It has been three years since we aired our much-maligned story…”

      That means her unemployment benefits are about used up.  No wonder she’s freaking out.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 09 21 at 06:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. To be fair. Mary Mapes is an expert on mind numbing drivel.

      Posted by greene on 2007 09 21 at 06:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. ‘She tells Ross that she had no journalistic obligation to prove the authenticity of the documents…’

      Graduate of the Goebbels Journalism Academy?

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 09 21 at 06:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. “continues her march to madness:”

      They won’t be calling that one “The Long March”.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 09 21 at 06:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. “keyboard assault artists”  mmmm i like that.  do i get a real assault weapon to go with the keyboard?  it’s all about the accessories, you know.  a lady must be properly kitted!

      Posted by missred on 2007 09 21 at 07:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. I can’t think of anyone that this lawsuit would so any good for, with the possible exception of right wing bloggers.  I suspect CBS will be “encouraged” to quietly issue a Settlement To Finish Unpleasantness (more commonly known as a “STFU payment”) lest it end up in court at an inconvenient time (like next October).

      Posted by Vexorg on 2007 09 21 at 07:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. As George Banks said in Mary Poppins, “Kindly do not confuse the issue with facts.”

      Posted by tabitharuth on 2007 09 21 at 07:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Jonah Goldberg (via Instapundit):

      Dan Rather seems divinely inspired to crash more times than a Kennedy driving home from an office party. The multimillionaire semi-retired newsman is suing for $70 million …

      (snip)

      But you know what? I say, “You go, Dan!”

      Frankly, we need this.

      Oh yes. We really need this.  This will so much fun.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 21 at 07:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. Font haters!

      We don’t hate fonts, so long as they are kept in their place, and don’t run rampant over Tim’s blog.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 09 21 at 08:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Re #12, paco, I do believe it’s Allah over at Hot Air who is licking his cops over the upcoming DanFest.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 09 21 at 08:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. #31 Licking cops? #10’s ‘necklace’? Am I interrupting something here? Or is my mind still in the gutter as per usual?

      Posted by CB on 2007 09 21 at 08:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. And we showed for the first time a cache of documents allegedly written by Bush’s former commander,

      …but in fact knocked out on a computer the night before by some Texas tart wanting to give a blow-job to Dan Rather.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 09 21 at 09:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. Is Mary Mapes related to Jolly Japes?

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 09 21 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. kae –

      Just remember I didn’t give it to you.

      I’m fairly certain you did kae.  As I recall you travelled back in time in the Tardis with RebeccaH, missred, and a few other ladies here.  In a totally unauthorized shopping trip to the bazaars of Ninevah.  I waited for hours in my cellar for your return.  When you gals finally did come back (you could have simply turned the chronometer designator to one minute after you left but did you do that?  noooooooooooooo, 6 hours I waited), you were drunk as sailors on liberty.

      Uh, that’s when you lent me gave to me as a gift your pearls.  Nothing like 3000 year old Assyrian jewelry to lend balance to the perfect black outfit.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 21 at 09:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. #20 Heinrichs, you got it wrong. Wronright wants to be an ALL-BLACK.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 09 21 at 09:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. #31: Oh, yeah!

      Danny figures some of that corporate sugar would go a long way toward helping him forget the humiliation of seeing his reputation dropped into a compactor and squeezed into a brick-sized piece of cheap notoriety.

      Posted by paco on 2007 09 21 at 09:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. #31 Licking cops?

      Oopsie!  I meant to type “licking cHops”!!!

      Silly me.  PIMF!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 09 21 at 09:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. re #37, I agree, paco, except that I would use the word “turd” in lieu of “brick”.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 09 21 at 09:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. #35 Assyrian artifacts from Iraq—Present, Stolen or Missing.

      Looks like you got away with it this time, traveller.

      No Pearls…

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 09 21 at 09:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. The shorter Mary Mapes:

      People are stupid because they didn’t agree with me.

      I believe the word that captures this way of thinking best is derived from the Greek term   ὕβρις.

      Posted by Hanyu on 2007 09 21 at 10:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. #35
      Oh that pearl necklace.

      Posted by kae on 2007 09 21 at 10:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Mary Mapes is definitely Orwell’s most crudely-drawn character. She lacks the nuance and complexity of Big Brother, or Napoleon the Pig. More of a one-dimensional polemic device. Not his best effort.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 09 21 at 10:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. O/T I see Terry Lane’s muse has got 5 months in the slammer.

      Posted by burrah on 2007 09 21 at 10:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. #43: M’yes. Rather than Napolean the Pig, Mapes is more like the little pig who built a house of straw.

      I wonder if Dan Rather didn’t sustain some kind of permanent brain damage when he was beaned by that guy in New York (who can forget, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”). Although he’s always had an aura of natural-born weirdness about him.

      Posted by paco on 2007 09 21 at 10:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. #44: Haw! Terry MacBeth Big House Lane!

      Posted by paco on 2007 09 21 at 10:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Watching Powerline and Little Green Footballs (LGF)  deconstruct Dan Rather and CBS was one of the most memorable moments on the Internet. The “flashing Word doc” is destined to be a 21st century icon.

      Since then, there have been Zombietime and the miracle Israeli anti-ambulance missile, Reuter’s fauxtography, again exposed by LGF, and many more “gotcha’s!” by bloggers around the world.

      Don Chipp formed the Democrats years ago, allegedly “to keep the bastards honest”, but the blogosphere has done more to “keep the bastards honest” in it’s short but vigourous life than Don’s mob of drones ever did in political life.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 09 21 at 10:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #10 wronwright,

      You had me fooled!

      I thought you looked stunning as “Lucy” and I was even prepared to “pull the lever” (as they say in the Minneapolis Airport) for Kerry as a result.

      Talk about “The Crying Game”!

      Posted by JDB on 2007 09 21 at 10:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. In case anyone came in late, here’s the “Flashing MS Word document” from Little Green Footballs.

      The equivalent of the iceberg that sank the Titanic, this document overlay sank Dan Rather.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 09 21 at 11:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. I find it interesting how frequently the Left gets angry at the Right and proceeds to accuse the Right of using exactly the tactics actually used routinely by the Left.  I don’t know whether that is merely chutzpah or a sign of incredibly serious derangement.

      As for Mapes’ ‘march to madness’, she reached the Mountains of Madness years ago and has proceeded to the Swamps of Gibbering Lunacy.

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 09 21 at 11:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. #44 For a few months now, I’ve held the theory (although generally only known to two or three other people, but now the world) that people named “Jesse” (or any of it’s spelling variants) should be in jail.

      You’ve just offered more supporting evidence for my theory.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 09 21 at 11:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. If you want to see raving lunacy in action,  check out DUmmiefunnies.com picks out some of the best raving from both the DUmmies and the KOmmies.

      And if you want to get the lowdown on the effect of names, Ash_ check people with the middle name Duane.  (I think there’s a list called “That Awful Name” or some such.)  Way too high a proportion of people convicted of murder (in the US, anyway) have a middle name that is a variant of Duane.

      DUmmiefunnies

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 09 21 at 11:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Jorg, I did my best to get the lowdown on “Duane”, but all I got on Google was a bunch of “My name is Duane XXXXX” stuff, but Wiki did what Wiki does, and gave me a pretty short lowdown.

      Were you referring to murderers which just don’t appear on Wiki?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 09 21 at 11:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. I haven’t ever heard of Duane, but I know there’s a lot of convicted murderers out there with “Wayne” as a middle name.

      Posted by Vexorg on 2007 09 21 at 11:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. And here’s a list of Waynes convicted of murders:

      http://newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html

      Posted by Vexorg on 2007 09 21 at 11:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Don’t you know who I am?

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 09 22 at 12:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. My bad, Vexorg and Ash_.  It’s late and I have a cold and worked too long today.  I got Wayne and Duane mixed up.  It’s still pretty weird.

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 09 22 at 12:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. There are also quite a few murderers that have been named after the screen great, John Wayne.

      John Wayne Gacy.

      John Wayne Glover.

      Also, let’s not forget the obviously physically and mentally challenged;

      John Wayne Bobbit.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 09 22 at 03:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wron, while your dedication to the Dark Lord’s orders is impressive, your… ummm… enthusiasm for this task was noted as being kinda remarkable.

      I’m not saying I don’t have the figure or legs to wear that black dress, dark hose, and black stilleto heels.  I’m just saying it was uncomfortable.

      Yes, and that applied especially in Scythia.

      Which you visited after the Assyrian jaunt for those spectacular silver torques.

      Which civilisation promptly collapsed.

      Something about the visit of a black-clad spike-footed he/she demon and ‘the horrible fate of the Lords’ is the chronicled last death-rattle of that civilisation.

      Wouldn’t happen to be able to shed a little light on that, would you?

      MarkL
      Minionmeister to the VRWC

      Posted by MarkL on 2007 09 22 at 04:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. Egads.  First MentalFloss shows up, ready to spell check my Utnapishtim and verify the accuracy of my memories of past missions into the past.  Now my head minion, MarkL walks in, ready to divulge some confidential information on his boss.  This is uncomfortable.  Don’t they know who I am?  Now I know what Dan Rather felt like.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 22 at 07:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mary Mapes Defends Her Journalistic Integrity

      Critics claim that we invented
      Documents that we presented.
      But really, we’re fools,
      Two air-headed tools –
      (And Danny is rather demented.)

      Posted by lyle on 2007 09 22 at 07:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. MarkL –

      Something about the visit of a black-clad spike-footed he/she demon and ‘the horrible fate of the Lords’ is the chronicled last death-rattle of that civilisation.

      Look here good man.  Not every civilization that collapsed catastrophically had something to do with me going back in time in the Tardis. (wronwright remembers attempting to track down Stoop Davy Dave who absconded with Tardis I with the “assistance” of paco, Michael Lonie, and crittenden, shudders and moves on).  Let me just ask who do the words “black-clad spike-footed she demon” and “horrible fate” remind you of?  Shall I add the word “Amazon”?  Or perhaps “Zulu spear”?

      I’m not the only one who travels back in time in the Tardis you know!

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 22 at 07:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mistress of the Dark?

      Cheers

      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 09 22 at 01:22 PM • permalink

 

  1. It’s about time someone pay closer attention to what wronwright gets up to in that Tardis. I’ve often wondered at the carte blanche Rove gave him when he hired him. Thank goodness Mental Floss has returned to get the ball rolling.

    (Is the fact that Rove “retired” a causal agent in this job evaluation?)

    P.S. Mental Floss:  please do not link to that jewelry page again.  Because of you, I can no longer wear my Nimrud stuff (except in the privacy of my own boat, where I dance to the light of the full moon in nothing but my Nimrud stuff).

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 09 22 at 05:00 PM • permalink