Show the planet who’s boss

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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 03:45 pm

I’m leaning towards the Deluxe Carbon Debit Package myself.

(Via rightwingprof)

Posted by Tim B. on 05/15/2007 at 04:10 AM
    1. Ripping out pages of the Byron Bay Echo and layering them over sleeping hippies as a weed-suppressant mulch doesn’t count, huh?

      Posted by splice on 2007 05 15 at 04:59 AM • permalink


    1. No No No!
      By chopping down a tree, and letting the chips get buried, you sequestrate far more carbon than Algore ever did! By allowing grass and a new sapling to grow, you genuinely cause a carbon credit.

      Like most things to do with Goebbels Warning, this whole thing is a terrible fraud. If carried out on a larger scale, it would actually reduce atmospheric CO2 levels.

      Even worse, by killing more O2 breathing CO2 exhaling tasty animals, you decrease atmospheric CO2 even more. The whole thing is a con!

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2007 05 15 at 05:07 AM • permalink


    1. I’m with you Zoe. However, we can still salvage the plan by simply shooting the tasty animals and use the wood chips as fuel/flavoring for the BBQ grill. Additionally, The run-off from the charred wood and blood will kill that nasty oxygen spewing algae in any nearby lake. Another plus.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 05 15 at 05:24 AM • permalink


    1. I don’t see why they can’t air-freight your chips to you.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2007 05 15 at 05:30 AM • permalink


    1. I liked that. But I’d prefer an option whereby my own faecal matter was recycled in the form of a donation to Al Gore.

      Posted by Nic on 2007 05 15 at 05:43 AM • permalink


    1. This is awesome! I finally know what to get my Sister the greenie for Christmas. She “Goat me a gift” last year which involved donating money in my name so some poor dude in a far off land could have his very own goat.

      I wanted to get her some Gunns shares, as was suggested here a while back, but it’s difficult to buy shares in someone else’s name apparently.

      This more than makes up for it. Thankyou.

      Posted by Gibbo on 2007 05 15 at 05:47 AM • permalink


    1. #4 The only problem I can see with air freight it it’ll take a while and I want my barbecued tasty animals NOW!

      On the other hand…
      If we load them into the back of a B1 bomber, we could freight them at supersonic speeds. Not only will we get our chips faster but think of the extra CO2 generated to maintain those speeds. Then on top of that, imagine how many air-to-air refueling tankers we’ll need to get just one supersonic freight-bomber from the USA to Oz!

      For that I’d be willing to wait.

      Posted by SouthernCrusader on 2007 05 15 at 06:30 AM • permalink


    1. LMAO!

      Oh, I hope there’s a few of us buy these. Can you imagine ALGORE spitting the dummy (pacifier) if he received all those emails?? LOL

      Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 05 15 at 06:46 AM • permalink


    1. Check the Vanity Fair take:

      Vanity Fair

      The Gorebot dressed as a monk!

      Posted by Retread on 2007 05 15 at 06:49 AM • permalink



    1. YouTube including Al’s aforementioned talk about dropping into a family restaurant enroute to the farm (50 mi away) – can’t they cook/pack sandwiches, FFS?

      Al: I’ll have a family meal – and what about you, Dear?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 15 at 07:16 AM • permalink


    1. I was in freakin’ awe of what looked like a tracked bobcat with the woodchipper from hell attached. It sliced. It diced.

      That attachment would look fantastic mounted on the front of my V8 F100. Another example of mechanical genius. I equate this to being equivalent to the self-loading shotgun or the self-licking icecream.

      Posted by CB on 2007 05 15 at 07:47 AM • permalink


    1. Nearly on topic:
      Wired reports that scientists have learned how to better model phytoplankton in their climate models. Turns out that the wee beasties are responsible for 2/3rds of the photosynthesis on earth, and were drastically simplified (or ignored) in previous models.

      No word yet on how AlGore and his enviroclones will attempt to spin this and maintain the credibility of their consensus consortium.

      The GIGO rule of Turing machines: Nearly as big a bitch to “scienticians” as that pesky 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.

      Posted by brett_l on 2007 05 15 at 08:21 AM • permalink


    1. CB, I picked you for an F-250 man. 😉

      Posted by C.L. on 2007 05 15 at 08:24 AM • permalink


    1. #12. You’ve got two spare wheels on the roof and a mean lookin’ dog in the back of that F100, Chief, but the sticker on the glass is pure class…

      “Fertilize the bush, doze in a Greenie.”

      Posted by splice on 2007 05 15 at 08:38 AM • permalink


    1. C.L. Nah, old school carbon creator is the way to go. Fuel injected 351, running LPG, SWB 4×2. Optional gun mounts.

      F-truck. Effin’ good.

      Posted by CB on 2007 05 15 at 08:40 AM • permalink


    1. #15 I’d just love to take ‘Effie’ into the city for one of those cyclist Critical Mass demos.

      I’ll show you the REAL definition of ‘critical mass’. When I park two tonnes of angry truck, dogs and me on top of a pack of f-wits.

      Posted by CB on 2007 05 15 at 08:44 AM • permalink


    1. 351 – bewdiful. Still, for eye-candy, check out the F-250 <a href=” F250 Super Chief Concept.jpg”>Super Chief</a> concept.

      Posted by C.L. on 2007 05 15 at 08:46 AM • permalink


    1. D’oh.

      F-250 Super Chief

      Posted by C.L. on 2007 05 15 at 08:49 AM • permalink


    1. 13, brett_l:

      I had heard about that years ago. The argument at the time, iirc was whether it was 2/3 or 3/5 of the photosynth conversion was due to the itty bitty critters.

      I don’t remember any details from that day, we were all stoned as hell, but I do recall the consensus was that in order to save the earth, the whales had to die.

      Then, I think we went to Taco Bell.

      But, I am not any form or sort of scientizer so we could have been talking about ground squirrels and I just got confused.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 15 at 08:50 AM • permalink


    1. #20 kekeke

      Posted by CB on 2007 05 15 at 08:59 AM • permalink


    1. The pictures under “How We Make a Carbon Credit” look a lot like what you’d expect under “How We Make Sawdust.”

      Posted by m on 2007 05 15 at 09:16 AM • permalink


    1. All this talk of trucks and critters. It’s funny, you know, sometimes ya just get that tingling feeling and your hairs stand on end. There’s a sort of spiritual presence, like, maybe… Iowahawk is kinda… hanging around.

      What’d he do? Pour too much kerosene into the woodstove again?

      Posted by splice on 2007 05 15 at 09:32 AM • permalink


    1. Carbon debits? Pffft! Paco Securities can offer forward contracts on carbon debits, with a roll-over feature, that will cancel Al’s carbon offsets unto the tenth generation. We can also fix you up with a carbon insolvency contract – payable to the beneficiary either in instalments under an annuity, or deferred lump sum – that will wipe out any offsets purchased by your neighbors. But what’s really hot right now are reverse-credit magnesium offsets. Remember: diversification of risk is key.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 15 at 09:45 AM • permalink


    1. Dang.  That’s some serious tree-eating, there.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 15 at 09:57 AM • permalink


    1. #24 paco:
      Maybe you should start with Pre-boom Anti Cooling Offsets. As you say, risk diversification.

      #20 Grim:
      If we kill all the whales, who will protect our submarines from the giant squid (squids)? Predatory Architeuthis Consuming Organisms manufactured by PACO genetics?
      Bong rips and Taco Bell, culling the herd of weak cells of the gut, lungs, and brain.

      Posted by brett_l on 2007 05 15 at 10:03 AM • permalink


    1. gibbo—Come on, now, own up.  She got your goat fair dinkum…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 15 at 11:13 AM • permalink


    1. Man, I could go broke buying this one over and over again!

      Carbon Debit Make a Liberal Friend an Enemy Package – $29.95

      – 1 “I Took Away Your Carbon Credits” Plaque sent to your friend (specify their address in the comments section when checking out)
      – 1 “I Increased my Carbon Footprint” T-Shirt sent to you.
      – Certificate sent to you confirming your tree’s demise

      Wonder if we get to specify the type of tree?  I’d definitely pay to kill black walnut trees.

      Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 05 15 at 12:45 PM • permalink


    1. #28, Barbara, agree with you about the black walnuts.  I once carved a Welsh spoon out of a piece, and unthinkingly dumped the chips and dust in my flowerbed.  Killed everything within a two foot radius.  Those trees are murderous.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 15 at 12:56 PM • permalink


    1. #13 brett_l

      It’s MUCH worse than GIGO.

      Climate models are all recursive (their previous outputs are their inputs).

      ANY ERROR NO MATTER HOW SMALL, will be amplified by recursion, and will result in an exponential increase in the innacuracy of the prediction.

      It’s near perfect in -> Garbage out.

      All computer models of the atmosphere are a fraud.

      Posted by Rob Read on 2007 05 15 at 01:54 PM • permalink


    1. I’m waiting for them to come out with a computer model that proves we all died eons ago and the earth has been a lifeless husk ever since.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 15 at 04:46 PM • permalink


    1. #4 rhhardin, why the chips cannot be airfreighted is simply that the chips are already there.

      Read your sentance again:

      I don’t see why they can’t air-freight your chips to you.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 15 at 08:45 PM • permalink


    1. #11 So now I have seen his standard spiel. Know your enemy. This man wants to be president.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 15 at 09:00 PM • permalink


    1. #33: This man wants to be president.

      Good God, man! Not of the United States, surely?

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 15 at 10:10 PM • permalink


    1. Hah! Who says there are no more heroes?

      Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 05 15 at 10:11 PM • permalink


    1. #33, #34. I’ve seen reports he’s losing weight …

      Posted by Chris Chittleborough on 2007 05 16 at 04:23 AM • permalink


    1. #36: I’ve seen reports he’s losing weight

      Well, if he’ll just turn around, I’ll show him where it went.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 07:55 AM • permalink


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