Seeing john malkovich

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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 05:07 pm

Here’s how blogging works. First you run a site for four or five years, then one day John Malkovich turns up at your house:

Also, my friend Bryan appears wearing a Pope hat for some reason. How did this come to be? Simple; John’s sister Melissa is a dear friend of this site, and arranged for us to meet while her brother (a wide-ranging blog reader) is in Sydney filming J.M. Coetzee’s Disgrace. Nadia cooked (veal involtini); pals brought wine; everyone talked politics and art and sport for about six hours.

Which wasn’t a stretch for Malkovich, who’s outrageously well-informed (and hilarious) on just about any subject you might name, from 1950s British cars to Portuguese architecture. Worlds-collide moment of the night came when John asked, in that voice: “What’s the story with Margo Kingston?”

Posted by Tim B. on 04/30/2007 at 12:21 PM

I can see soccer on the TV reflected in one of the pictures, but I’d love to know why the fellow on the left seems to be wearing a cardboard bishop’s hat.
Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 04 30 at 12:30 PM • permalink

(errr, that would be Tim’s left…)
Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 04 30 at 12:31 PM • permalink

Malk rules. Awesome.
Posted by Dave S. on 2007 04 30 at 12:34 PM • permalink

What a great photograph. Very, er, ecumenical.
Posted by paco on 2007 04 30 at 12:43 PM • permalink

I thought that Tim was to the left of everybody! (Or so the SMH says.)
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 30 at 12:44 PM • permalink

Oops. I meant everybody was to the left of Tim. (It must be a virus affecting Canadian posters today.)
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 30 at 12:45 PM • permalink

Looks like Blair is showing Malkovich how to open the combination lock on the Tardis hangar. Lord Rove will be displeased.
Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 04 30 at 12:47 PM • permalink

No, Tim is just explaining how to do a Rubik’s Cube with his eyes closed. Malkovich is looking at his eyes to make sure they are indeed closed.
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 04 30 at 12:49 PM • permalink

Goodness Tim – you should have had a competition for your devotees here
Win a dinner with John Malkovich and TimB
I would have put in one zillion entries as I love this blokes stuff
Fell in love with him many years ago after watching “Amadeus”
Now all I can say is – wow!
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 04 30 at 12:55 PM • permalink

I dunno. Look at what Tim And John are doing with their hands. So, with Bryan in the picture, it looks like a couple of safecrackers waiting for confession.
Posted by paco on 2007 04 30 at 01:02 PM • permalink

ahhh… safecrackers. I should have known.
I’m glad I wasn’t there. All that technical stuff about weapons and combination locks would have gone right over my head.
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 04 30 at 01:15 PM • permalink

Malkovich: The best actor in American cinema, and one of it’s more entertaining directors (you should see his adaptation, Dancer Upstairs- magnificent). He is my favorite actor, on par with Gary Oldman…who, oddly, is another right-winger.
Hmm, didn’t occur to me that my fave actors are righties…Malkovich is famous for exasperating people in his art crowd; truly a legend (I have no idea how the brit Oldman turned into a Republican, but he really is one).
I’m envious, Blair. You have one good luck in the people you get to have close to you: if I had one actor I’d like to pick the brain of (and thank God, I don’t: no star struck lad, this boy, thank you), it would be Malkovich.
Allright Blair, so make good- WHY? What did this have to do with politics? I’m really curious here, especially to find Malkovich is still connected to life and not in star-star land (which amazes and impresses me).
Tell. Us. About. The. Politics. We’re curious. The two words “Margo Kingston” aren’t enough.
Posted by mencken_cynic on 2007 04 30 at 01:17 PM • permalink

“What’s the story with Margo Kingston?”
Well?! What IS the story with Margo?!!!
Posted by Major John on 2007 04 30 at 01:34 PM • permalink

It would be cool to meet Malkovich. There’s nobody else quite like him in what has to be considered a rather dull era, cinema-personality-wise.
Worlds-collide moment of the night came when John asked, in that voice: “What’s the story with Margo Kingston?”
That actually did make me Laugh Out Loud!
Posted by C.L. on 2007 04 30 at 01:36 PM • permalink

Wow.
Colour me jealous.
Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 04 30 at 01:37 PM • permalink

Is friend Bryan actually a bishop?
Because that would be cool.
Posted by VKI on 2007 04 30 at 01:37 PM • permalink

“I’m going to shoot the President.”
“Why you wanna go and do something like that, mister?”
“The same reason you shot that duck, asshole.”
Posted by Dave S. on 2007 04 30 at 01:46 PM • permalink

I will first say that there is no one here who is a bigger fan of John Malkovich than me. He’s a very excellent actor.
However, I do have two questions. First, just who is this sister, Melissa, who is such a dear friend of this site? And second, did she mention anything whatsoever about secret stores of Sumerian mead? Because the last thing I want is to be awaken in the middle of the night by Yippie, my attack dachsund, barking ferociously at a motley cohort made up of Tim Blair, Malkovich, and the Pope, trying to work the lock to my storeroom in the basement in a secret place.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 04 30 at 02:09 PM • permalink

From the animals point of view that would probably be veal involitini I’m thinking.
Posted by yojimbo on 2007 04 30 at 02:10 PM • permalink

“What’s the story with Margo Kingston?”
Whudja say? Whudja say?
Posted by m on 2007 04 30 at 02:16 PM • permalink

What concerns me is that every photo of Tim drinking (that I’ve seen) shows white wine. Where is the gleeful consumption of all the yummy shiraz, hmm? Hiding it, are we?
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 04 30 at 02:16 PM • permalink

Evidently, Tim is branching out from long lunches with expensive wine to equally long dinners with even more wine. And excellent guests.
Posted by PW on 2007 04 30 at 02:29 PM • permalink

#12 Speaking of RWDB’s
Only caught about one minute of Jon Voight on a Fox interview the other night but he seemed very conservative to me.
Now about that Portuguese Architecture Tim.
Posted by yojimbo on 2007 04 30 at 02:51 PM • permalink

If the (non)Pope wears a funny hat, does a Blair spit in the woods?
Posted by Carl H on 2007 04 30 at 02:54 PM • permalink

Well aren’t we too cool for school! Did you ask him if he’s re-thought the whole Charlie Sheen for President thing?
Some other surprising right wingers.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 30 at 02:58 PM • permalink

Didn’t Margo claim that she had an affair with Tim? Or was that Pauline? Or was that Oldfield or something about Tim’s old fellow?
Yeah, what’s the story?
Posted by Stevo on 2007 04 30 at 03:07 PM • permalink

Wow, Tim! That must have been so much fun. What was Malkovich doing in Australia? Is he filming?
Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 04 30 at 03:12 PM • permalink

Being Tim Blair!
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2007 04 30 at 03:12 PM • permalink

Oh GOD. Disgrace was the book my ex-fiance was reading—for years, because he had this pretentious idea that you should read “slowly” like people “used to do in Jane Austen’s time.” So he would sit there staring intently at a page for about an hour, giving the impression that he was not so much reading as trying to absorb the ink on the page into his brain. Watching him read was the opposite of restful. (By the way, my ex-fiance had a Master’s Degree in English, so he had had whatever ability he may have had to simply enjoy a book quite destroyed by the time I met him.)
Anyway, I picked the book up one day and read it through, as I was still under the impression that the ex’s opinion of what was “excellent” should be considered. Well. If your bag is hero-less “life in post-modern Seth Effrika sucks” stories than it was quite well-written. The caustic observations on academia in SA were quite good, though. It should make a great movie that I’ll never see.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 04 30 at 03:25 PM • permalink

“Then it was quite well-written.” Also sans typos.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 04 30 at 03:26 PM • permalink

OK, how many posts do I have to make before Penelope Cruz shows up…?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 30 at 03:41 PM • permalink

“What’s the story with Margo Kingston?”
An obvious question when one is confronted with the sight of Margo cowering on a leash in the opposite corner of the room.
Posted by alien kiwi on 2007 04 30 at 03:46 PM • permalink

31
Then let me know how many for Selma Hayek to show up!
Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 04 30 at 03:52 PM • permalink

Worlds-collide moment of the night came when John asked, in that voice: “What’s the story with Margo Kingston?”
Holy smokes! John Malkovich is a reader here? That is excellent.
What I want to know is, which one of you guys is John Malkovich using a pseudonym?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 04 30 at 04:00 PM • permalink

#25
Alice Cooper is also fairly conservative. Go figure. Very decent person to boot.
Posted by yojimbo on 2007 04 30 at 04:02 PM • permalink

What I want to know is, which one of you guys is John Malkovich using a pseudonym?
This has the potential to start a really weird discussion. But since I am in fact John Malkovich, I’ll just throw my head back and laugh.
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 04 30 at 04:10 PM • permalink

#1. I can see soccer on the TV reflected in one of the pictures…
Not soccer but Aussie Rules, player is approaching a shot at goal. Can’t pick which AFL team jumper though…
Posted by JAFA on 2007 04 30 at 04:13 PM • permalink

#36
No, daddy dave, I’m John Malkovich. I was just messin’ with your head.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 04 30 at 04:19 PM • permalink

#25, #35
Don’t forget Bo Derek…
Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 04 30 at 04:19 PM • permalink

You’re right, Yojimbo. I forgot about Alice.
I am Spart John Malkovich.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 30 at 04:26 PM • permalink

Gosh, Andrea, and you didn’t snap him up when you had the chance?!
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 30 at 04:30 PM • permalink

So why is Bryan wearing a mitre? If he was at your house for six hours, couldn’t you have asked him?
Posted by Sonetka’s Mom on 2007 04 30 at 04:46 PM • permalink

I am Spart John Malkovich.
“I broke the dam”
/South Park
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 04 30 at 04:50 PM • permalink

I just have one question: Is Tim sure that was John Malkovich, not just somebody being him?
(Hi, John, heh heh)
Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 04 30 at 04:59 PM • permalink

About five years ago, when he was asked who he’d like to fight in a battle to the death, Malkovich responded with Robert Fisk and George Galloway. Even if his filmography included no more than a few episodes of Full House, that would still make him one of my favorite actors be default.
Posted by Damian P. on 2007 04 30 at 05:15 PM • permalink

He he Margo showed up yesterday on ABC Radio National’s Book Show, reviewing Pauline Hanson’s autobiography.
There’s an audio file, if JM is game to listen in.
FWIW I think that Margo is sympathetic to Pauline, but couldn’t bring myself to listen too long.
I think it was pre-recorded, just in case Margo had a niggling to mention the woodpile …
Posted by egg_ on 2007 04 30 at 05:25 PM • permalink

#9
Fell in love with him many years ago after watching “Amadeus”
Classic. He wasn’t in Amadeus.
Posted by Director on 2007 04 30 at 05:32 PM • permalink

I liked him best in Retarded Jewel Thieves Take Manhattan.
I mean, I think that was my finest work.
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 04 30 at 05:42 PM • permalink

Six degrees of Tim Blair:
Tim Blair
John Malkovich
My former neighbor across the street who produced a movie called Drunkboat, with John Malkovich
Me
What a small world this has become in the internets era…
Posted by Mike G on 2007 04 30 at 05:44 PM • permalink

Amadeus?
Dangerous Liasons made him my wife’s favourite of all time (you should have seen her with the toothbrush stuck in her mouth when I showed her this thread), and my personal role model for life. Ripley’s Game also sees him in fine form.
John, sir, master, I live in the best part of Australia, can take time off work anytime and am about the greatest company you could keep for a couple of unforgettable days.
(Last paragraph designed to appear as a joke, concealing the faintest, yearning hope…)
Posted by Dminor on 2007 04 30 at 05:46 PM • permalink

Wow how cool is that. He seems like a fun guy to hang out with.
Posted by Dash on 2007 04 30 at 05:49 PM • permalink

As Mr Malkovich asked “What’s the story with Margo Kingston?” I ask, “Andrea, what’s the story with the ex-fiance?”
(Cue image: lonely broken man wandering the streets of Miami, muttering to strangers Holly Hunter-style “Mah fyance left me.”)
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 04 30 at 05:53 PM • permalink

TimB: Now I suppose it’s going to cost us a bob to talk with you?
CL: I laughed out loud at the “What’s with Margo Kingston” question, too.
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 05:58 PM • permalink

May we have more Blair/Malkovich/guy in pope’s hat pictures, please?
Posted by m on 2007 04 30 at 06:16 PM • permalink

A few points:
* Tim has “dear friends”?
* Hmmm, baby calf;
* Poor 1.618;
* Looks like a Swans game, perhaps Barry Hall lining up a kick;
* What’s with the marsupial cushion covers behind the couch;
* Maybe Miranda Divide has some news about her close friend. Miranda?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 30 at 06:25 PM • permalink

richard, forget Penelope Cruz, I expect that Nicole Kidman is in Australia from time to time. So why doesn’t she show up on this blog?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 04 30 at 06:36 PM • permalink

#56 I always thought Nicole Kidman was Habib.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 30 at 06:39 PM • permalink

Is Brian gay?
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 06:51 PM • permalink

Morning Margos, paco, el-cid,spiny,dminor,swinish!
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 06:53 PM • permalink

Morning 1.6. I think I know what you’re getting at.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 30 at 06:55 PM • permalink

Did he sing?
“Malkovich, Malkovi-ich.
Malkovich, Malkovi-ich.”
Posted by fidens on 2007 04 30 at 07:12 PM • permalink

looks like a Swans jumper
jm rolls up his jeans – minus 3 on the respect scale, but that’s ok, he started at about 98.
also nice cars in the frames
who is margo – easy – a leftoid moonbat who is proving Darwin’s theory in reverse – she is devolving back into a single cell bacteria, 1 day at a time.
Posted by peter m on 2007 04 30 at 07:13 PM • permalink

Hat parties are fun, but some idiot always manages to knock the bowl over.
The pith helmet is my favourite as I can choose if I want to be Churchill or Gunner Sugden or that Pommy bloke in Rorkes Drift.
Joe Stalin usually ends up paranoid delusional and orders that everyone be sent to Siberia and then liquidated.
Sherlock Holmes sits around puffing on a pipe trying to work out hoo dunnit.
Slim Dusty sits in the corner strumming away and singing “when the rain tumbles down in July”
Posted by Pickles on 2007 04 30 at 07:22 PM • permalink

I dunno, in that reflection I see white pants, and that can only mean cricket.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 04 30 at 07:44 PM • permalink

What’s the deal with Robert Fisk, and why does Malkovich want to kill him?
I was reading Malkovich’s Wikipedia entry. There’s some great stuff there.
Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 04 30 at 07:54 PM • permalink

THIS is how this thread should be read.
Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 04 30 at 07:56 PM • permalink

Mmmm. Veal Involtini, a good choice. I laughed out loud at the Margo comment as well.
Posted by Nic on 2007 04 30 at 08:07 PM • permalink

Morning, 1.6. And may I say you looked lovely in that miniskirt.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 04 30 at 08:08 PM • permalink

#66 – Thanks Dan, that’ll have my mind spinning all day. Malkovitch Malkovitch!
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 04 30 at 08:11 PM • permalink

66
Good grief Dan, that was a lot of work………
Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 04 30 at 08:12 PM • permalink

I thought the reflected sport was cricket, too.
But what would I know.
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 08:16 PM • permalink

“This being said, I apologize to both Fisk and Galloway; they seem like good men… but if they make such a heinous mistake again, I will not hesitate to murder them brutally by way of the gallows.”
Malkovich rocks.
Posted by Dave S. on 2007 04 30 at 08:16 PM • permalink

What I want to know is, which one of you guys is John Malkovich using a pseudonym?
he is. That one over there.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 30 at 08:17 PM • permalink

It wasn’t a lot of work for Dan, he has the tecch-knowledgy.
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 08:17 PM • permalink

#70
Not really. Have another look, at the very top of the page and try it yourself (or click “What is Malkovich” for more options).
Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 04 30 at 08:18 PM • permalink

#47 Ever since Meatballs 4, I have been his number one fan.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 30 at 08:32 PM • permalink

LOL.
One of the biggest stars in the arts pantheon inquiring about an Australian so obscure she’s almost a secret.
I love this.
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 04 30 at 08:43 PM • permalink

from Fisk’s article:
“Much of this disgusting nonsense comes from men and women who say they are defending Israel, although I have to say that I have never in my life received a rude or insulting letter from Israel itself. Israelis sometimes express their criticism of my reporting – and sometimes their praise – but they have never stooped to the filth and obscenities which I now receive.”
And he STILL isn’t moved to report on them fairly!!!
Ass-wipe.
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 04 30 at 08:50 PM • permalink

#51- I didn’t know he was a mushroom, explains the lack of hair I suppose.
Posted by Habib on 2007 04 30 at 08:51 PM • permalink

The TV is showing AFL.
Posted by Nic on 2007 04 30 at 08:59 PM • permalink

Is that a glass of chardonnay on the table???
:-p
Posted by Brian on 2007 04 30 at 09:01 PM • permalink

Did you ever seen anyone who could celebrate victimhood, especially his own, better than Bobby Fisk?!
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 30 at 09:09 PM • permalink

bahahaha “might be”!!
More like – “Please sir, stop that aweful man before he hits me again with his rhetorical wit and I can only use this lettuce leaf I keep handy for all my verbal jousts.
What a twit.
Posted by peter m on 2007 04 30 at 09:15 PM • permalink

Fell in love with him many years ago after watching “Amadeus”
Are you confusing him with F. Murray Abraham? Glad you weren’t invited…
Posted by hayesy on 2007 04 30 at 09:16 PM • permalink

#82 Kyda
Did you ever seen anyone who could celebrate victimhood, especially his own, better than Bobby Fisk?!
I can hardly imagine how the sniveller feels about having a (less than complimentary) award named after him.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 04 30 at 09:23 PM • permalink

I once had lunch with Monty the weatherman from the Today Show. Not sure what he’s doing now. Cop that Blair.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 30 at 09:30 PM • permalink

If I recall correctly, I once had luncheon with Olivier and a friend of mine who dressed as Bishop Tutu. Put that in your pipe, Blair!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 04 30 at 09:58 PM • permalink

Not to be overly critical Mr Blair, but your friend Bryan does a very ordinary impression of Rodney Rude.
Posted by Pickles on 2007 04 30 at 10:10 PM • permalink

While no one disputes how urgently Fisk needs shooting, let’s us not lose sight, in all the dust and hysteria, of the other point well made. A point at least as important.
I refer of course to the need to just shoot George Galloway. Soon.
Posted by geoff on 2007 04 30 at 10:15 PM • permalink

Margos says…
once had lunch with Monty the weatherman from the Today Show. Not sure what he’s doing now. Cop that Blair.
1.6 says: Monty the weatherman fell in love online and got married!
Oh and Tim Tam, who needs John Malkovich at a dinner party when I look like Madame Marie de Tourvel in a mini skirt (or swinish’s version as showed) or this …
null
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 10:55 PM • permalink

#90
1.6, I think you’ll find that Monty’s fine romance went pear shaped.
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 11:01 PM • permalink

No He got married.
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 11:04 PM • permalink

#9 I suspect aussiemagpie was thinking of Dangerous Liaisons. They came out within a few years of one another in the 80s, were both eighteenth century dress-up jobs, lots of powdered wigs etc.
Posted by C.L. on 2007 04 30 at 11:06 PM • permalink

null
Here’s Monty in the Van (without fuzzy dice!)
p.s. I didn’t get the bid for Convicts piece, (sunday) I was absentee vote and didn’t bid enough for the piece.. bumma!
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 11:10 PM • permalink

Yep, that’s me or looks like me….. Hey, I’ve been on the cover of NEW idea!
null tim tam a new message xx
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 11:14 PM • permalink

He wrote a book about it, about how quickly you can get to know someone when you meet them via the internet. They interviewed both he and his lady-friend on TV on some show I saw. They are still friends.
It went pear-shaped.
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 11:14 PM • permalink

p.s. not the fab Glen Close but Michelle when I blow dry my hair.
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 11:16 PM • permalink

Oh.. bumma ta kae… (waves)
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 11:18 PM • permalink

Anyways, I think Tim b is still kissable even if he’s —– ??? deep breath…. ( Oh, why!!!??? why? !!! pope hats on!!*&&%^%$#)
Tiger are gay?
Hands up who’s gay pleasee, that’s okies if you are but just not if you’re my potential partner…
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 11:23 PM • permalink

1.6, I did try to find a link, but can’t find the book at all. Sorry!
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 11:24 PM • permalink

That’s ok Kae, thank you for trying. I love reading your posts. You’re great, thanks for sharing.
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 30 at 11:26 PM • permalink

#99
Hands up who’s gay please
This chick.
Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 04 30 at 11:29 PM • permalink

#49, Mike G,
I hung out with Tim Blair for about five minutes in a Kinko’s in Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA. I gave him an Albuquerque Isotopes baseball cap while he complained about Albuquerque’s slums. So, like, we’re buds. This SO helps my “six degrees” game, not to mention the degree in the Mark Steyn and James Lileks directions.
Posted by reese on 2007 04 30 at 11:34 PM • permalink

#99 –
Tiger are gay?
Hands up who’s gay pleasee, that’s okies if you are but just not if you’re my potential partner…
In a delightful 1950’s sense, I am.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 04 30 at 11:39 PM • permalink

1.6 here you go, Slapped by an Angel is the book.
Her name is Kym Crosbie.
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 11:41 PM • permalink

1.6, last para at that link I just provided:
“If it gives people hope to give it a shot and maybe take the chance on the internet – it didn’t work out between us in that sense, but what we had was still a beautiful journey that we wouldn’t have had if we didn’t take a chance. “If it encourages people to try it themselves we see it as a positive,” he said.
They didn’t get married.
Posted by kae on 2007 04 30 at 11:42 PM • permalink

This is a movie thread, so I’m taking the liberty of posting this to welcome Paco back… and maybe explain his absence…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 30 at 11:45 PM • permalink

The Real JeffS —
Forget.
Penelope.
Cruz.
Ooooookay….back away from the camel slowly…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 30 at 11:50 PM • permalink

That looks like the Poms batting on the plasama there.
What the F*** are you doing watching the Poms bat?
Malk was excellent in Napoleon. Devious bastard.
Malk Shmalk.
I sat at the same table as Jackie Collins at Moreton’s in West Hollywood.
You have him, I’ll have her.
Posted by Bonmot on 2007 05 01 at 12:16 AM • permalink

Out of respect for Mr. Malkovitch’s fine intellect, I wont even pretend that he is me, or I am he, or how ever that’s supposed to be said.
Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 01 at 12:19 AM • permalink

Grimmy
That goes for me Two. Heh!
Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 01 at 12:33 AM • permalink

#110 Grimmy is JM? Holy crap.
I wonder how many other commenters here are film stars.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 12:39 AM • permalink

#112 – Purely amateur street theatre for me. Usually at closing time.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 01 at 12:43 AM • permalink

re – what’s up with Margo. Yet another triumph over the economic rationalists.
The website she inspired is back on track and losing money.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 01:00 AM • permalink

Oops. Forget post #27 Tim, I only had to read your post a dozen times before I realized that you said he was filming.
I blame the sinusitis I’ve had for a week, I’m not thinking straight.
Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 05 01 at 01:12 AM • permalink

Also, my friend Bryan appears wearing a Pope hat for some reason.
I dressed up once to play “the bishop and the actress” once, but the costume shop made me pay for the drycleaning…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 01 at 01:19 AM • permalink

#91 kae
#90
1.6, I think you’ll find that Monty’s fine romance went pear shaped.
#92 1.618
No He got married.
Exactly.
Posted by Radius on 2007 05 01 at 01:29 AM • permalink

Muzzie, it went pear-shaped before, he never got married.
Posted by kae on 2007 05 01 at 01:34 AM • permalink

kae – was just making a joke about marriage.
Posted by Radius on 2007 05 01 at 01:36 AM • permalink

It’s OK Muzzie, I had one like that. Went pear shaped.
Posted by kae on 2007 05 01 at 01:39 AM • permalink

Actually, if you shaved Tim’s bonce and organised corrective laser surgery for his peepers, he’d be a dead-ringer for Mr. Malkovich. On the other hand, Mr Malkovich has a certain sartorial splendour about him and Tim is from Werribee.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 01 at 01:39 AM • permalink

OOooh, you’re awful Infidel.
I spent three years in St Albans.
Posted by kae on 2007 05 01 at 01:45 AM • permalink

I once had a pope hat covered in smurf wallpaper, a bit of dadaist flippancy if you will; as to being a “film star”, I prefer to keep my self esteem and avoid such tawdry, gauche and crass displays of “talent”, presenting my muse in a tangible, authentic and proactive manner.
1.618, I believe this chap who posts here as “paco” may well be on the other bus, good with colours and light on his feet. Note what he passes off as a “fedora”. I believe the whole detective thing has a whiff more of Truman Capote than Raymond Chandler if you ask me.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 01:55 AM • permalink

Tim, are you ever going to answer the question about JM’s sister? Who is she, and how is she a friend of this blog?
Posted by CraigC on 2007 05 01 at 01:56 AM • permalink

Thompson/Malkovich ‘08
Posted by profeti on 2007 05 01 at 01:58 AM • permalink

From Wikipedia:
Blair was born in Werribee, Victoria, which is why he has been referred to in the media as “The King of Werribee”.
The King of Weribee. Retire from public life now, Tim, while you’re on top!
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 05 01 at 02:01 AM • permalink

I hope strong drink didn’t lead later to a session of “bashing the bishop”.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 02:03 AM • permalink

Preview is going to be jealous.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 02:11 AM • permalink

So is Dorothy.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 01 at 02:12 AM • permalink

Has anyone ever seen Tim and Elliot Goblet in the same place?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 02:16 AM • permalink

Whatever happened to the Tim Blair Community Center and Massage Parlor? Has it been bombed yet?
Posted by dean martin on 2007 05 01 at 02:27 AM • permalink

Oh dear!
Earlier I said I loved John Malkovich in “Amadeus” – due to it being early morning here when I typed this, and me still suffering from Saturday Night Cricket Fever, I really meant “Dangerous Liaisons”
Isn’t it embarrassing making a mistake in public?
(And I just checked to make sure the “l” was in public – no more rash errors)
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 05 01 at 02:36 AM • permalink

Quentin Crisp, John Micheal “Clown” Howson, Robert Helpmann et al.
Nothing so sad as a bunch of old pooves.
Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 01 at 02:43 AM • permalink

#132 As noted in #93, aussiemagpie. 😉
Posted by C.L. on 2007 05 01 at 02:51 AM • permalink

I must admit to a double-take when I first read this item- I thought it read “what’s the story, morning glory with Margo Kingston?”
I don’t even like Oasis, and the thought of that makes not only my skin but all internal organs crawl.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 02:59 AM • permalink

#132 aussiemagpie. Don’t worry, I’ve heard that the Punishment And Corrections Officer is in a good mood today.
Posted by Radius on 2007 05 01 at 03:03 AM • permalink

#134 CL
Thanks for that! Glad you knew what I meant
One day when TimB is off on one of his trips, perhaps he could have a “Your Most Embarrassing Moment” thread
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 05 01 at 03:17 AM • permalink

#136 Muzzie Zapper
Good to hear that – I was wondering what the punishment was for a factfree post 🙂
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 05 01 at 03:20 AM • permalink

“Why, John? Did someone hire you to whack Kinston?”
Posted by Hucbald on 2007 05 01 at 04:02 AM • permalink

Don’t know if these quotes are real, but I like them.
John Malkovich: The other day I was walking down the street in the rural town where we live (in France) and a truck hit me, rather hard, going fairly fast. And he starts to drive off, so I chase after him, reach in the window and grab his steering wheel. And I say, ‘Normally, in a civilized society, when we hit someone with a truck, we might inquire as to their well being.’ So he said, ‘I’m sorry,’ and I said, ‘Great. Try and be a little more careful and that would be fantastic, and so sorry to have troubled you.’ I walk another 30 meters and he pulls up beside me a second time—and asks me if he can have an autograph.
John Malkovich: I’m not prone to talk much about what I do. But then I never have been. I mean, I don’t think hookers rush home from work and say, “Honey! I had the most incredible hand-job today!”
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 01 at 04:17 AM • permalink

#132
I think it’s better to make a mistake in public than in pubic.
Posted by kae on 2007 05 01 at 04:21 AM • permalink

I note that Tim’s cheap friend is wearing the bishop’s attire. Yet more evidence of the smothering influence that the religious right are having on this country.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 04:58 AM • permalink

I wonder what Malkovich made of the Sydney v Melbourne game, or was it being duly ignored? You should have been watching Carlton v Brisbane on Foxtel.
Wait!
Is that a glass of chardonnay? WTF?!
Posted by Craig Mc on 2007 05 01 at 05:10 AM • permalink

Still attempting to reclaim the chardonnay for the right, huh Tim?
Posted by CB on 2007 05 01 at 05:21 AM • permalink

Still attempting to reclaim the chardonnay for the right, huh Tim?
Fight the good fight, Tim! But don’t forget the unpretentions little merlots, and those lonely cabs over there. Oh wait—I’ll take care of them. I’m game!
The pinot noir, however, can sit in the corner for a while. It displeased me. You don’t ever want to displease me.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 05 01 at 06:01 AM • permalink

Somewhat O/T
The United Nations Human Rights Commission has banned a speech made by a delegate during its latest session in Geneva.
That would be the latest Holocaust denial speech from the Iranian delegate, I hear you say. The Sudanese delegate denying the rape and murder of civilians in Darfur, perhaps? A Libyan or Palestinian “NGO” claiming Jews have a monopoly on human rights abuse?
Yeah sure. This is Bizarroland we have somehow ended up living in afterall. This is the banned speech.
Posted by geoff on 2007 05 01 at 06:35 AM • permalink

Bizarro World
Posted by geoff on 2007 05 01 at 07:43 AM • permalink

I wasn’t really conscious of JM before “Empire of the Sun”. This was soon supplemented with “Dangerous Liaisons”. By “The Sheltering Sky” we were seeing almost too much of him, in some scenes at least!
Seeing him pop up in “Joan of Arc” and the excellent “Napoleon” series made me suspect he is a bit of a Francophile. The conservatism is, however, reassuring.
In case you are reading, John, Best Wishes from myself (also, obviously, from the assembled throng of commenters here) and we wish you an enjoyable stay as well as a successful project.
Posted by blogstrop on 2007 05 01 at 07:52 AM • permalink

This SO helps my “six degrees” game, not to mention the degree in the Mark Steyn and James Lileks directions.
Last weekend I figured out I have two degrees of separation from William Shatner.
If, that is, you can count people who appeared on “Rescue 911”.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 05 01 at 07:52 AM • permalink

Paco’s back! Richard, I loved your little project. It explains a lot.
And #123, Habib, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Paco is obviously a manly man of the macho persuasion.
Back on topic: And speaking of manly men of the macho persuasion, I love JM and would watch him sort his sock drawer–even argyles. I am pea-green jealous of TB’s evening with him. (Except for the guy in the hat. Blair can keep him.)
Posted by saltydog on 2007 05 01 at 08:36 AM • permalink

I think it’s obvious, from Tim’s hand-gesture, that the topic of discussion had turned to a rather sordid discourse about either Robert Fisk’s IQ or penis size. Can’t be sure which.
Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 05 01 at 08:39 AM • permalink

#112, Margos Maid, I wonder how many other commenters here are film stars.
I am. *adjusts turban* I’m ready for my closeup, Mr. deMille.
Actually, I’m ahead of most of you (in years if nothing else, alas). Mr. Malkovich first perked my attention in Places in the Heart. For personal reasons, it remains one of my all-time favorites.
Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 01 at 09:35 AM • permalink

John M and Michael Stipe look very similar.
I am Ron Jeremy.
Posted by boxofmatches on 2007 05 01 at 09:57 AM • permalink

Oh, as long as the pope hat wasn’t involved.
“Well, John, I think that if we had Fisk here, we could take that Pope hat and sort of angle it THUS, whilst moving it THUS, and hey presto! No more sinusitis for Fiskie.”
Posted by wreckage on 2007 05 01 at 09:59 AM • permalink

Who’s Nadia?
Posted by Pogria on 2007 05 01 at 10:00 AM • permalink

#’s112,152
I filmed an Excederin commercial once. Does that count?
At the risk of sounding even dumber than usual. What is “went pear shaped”.
Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 01 at 10:15 AM • permalink

Y’all are so wrong. It’s obvious what they’re talking about in that pic.
Both Mr. John and Mr. Tim are sharing their favorite methods of squishing slices of sandwich bread into dense “one biter” nuggets.
Mr. John shows that he favors the squish and roll method which produces a ball shaped package of bread, Mr. Tim shows that he favors the compact to cube shape.
Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 01 at 10:15 AM • permalink

#156, yojimbo:
What is “went pear shaped”.
I’m not totally sure but I think it is a furrin devil type slang for “gone sideways”.
Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 01 at 10:18 AM • permalink

Ah! Thanks Grimmy. I’m not too fashion forward with all this new lingo I guess.
Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 01 at 10:24 AM • permalink

Margo’s Maid—It depends on what your definition of ‘film star’ is…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 01 at 10:28 AM • permalink

#152
Places in the Heart I believe was my intro also.
#156
“Went pear shaped” is strine for “turned out for the worse”.
Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 01 at 10:32 AM • permalink

Thats. So. AWESOME. Who knew there was only one degree of separation between the King of Cool and the King of Werribee?
Posted by Kimberly on 2007 05 01 at 11:16 AM • permalink

I don’t mind Malkovich reading this blog. Joining it? Hmmm. Ok, maybe, although it’s getting fairly crowded and noisy in here.
But if he thinks he can just join the VRWC without going through the five step ascension process to full member, he’s sadly mistaken. Heck, I’ve washed and waxed a bazillion vehicles of wanton destruction and I still haven’t made it to full member yet.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 01 at 04:56 PM • permalink

If something goes pear shaped it means that the outcome was not the happy, expected one.
Cocked up.
Arse about.
Pear shaped ususally refers to “the best laid plans” stuffing up.
Posted by kae on 2007 05 01 at 05:41 PM • permalink

#160 Tell us more please Richard!
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 06:40 PM • permalink

#153 boxofmatches
Ron Jeremy..Now that’s an arteest.
Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 01 at 06:41 PM • permalink

John Malkovich, as always, superb, poised, ready to jump into the Bat-suit at a moment’s notice.
And dear old Tim Blair, paws as big as a grizzly’s, something sticking out of the back of his head as usual, talking to that dust bunny he’s spied in the farthest corner of the kitchen…
Posted by DaneF on 2007 05 01 at 06:44 PM • permalink

#167 Hey, ease up on poor Tim.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 06:48 PM • permalink

Someone else also visited Australia recently, Tim. Why didn’t you invite her to your house? You have so much in common – you were a pioneer of blogging, she pioneered e-commerce:
In 1992 Von Teese’s boyfriend (an early internet aficionado) convinced her to create a website where she could sell her photos, and before long dita.net was one of the first adult sites on the internet. ‘This was back in the days when people would send us a cheque in the mail, and when we got it we’d mail them the photos,’ she laughs.
Posted by David Morgan on 2007 05 01 at 08:34 PM • permalink

#150- I was just gaggin’, surprised I didn’t get a bite.
Mind you, he seems to have come over a bit Bareback Mountainy in this thread.
Could this be the Paco Kid?
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 08:42 PM • permalink

One of the more interesting explanations I have seen for the origin of ‘pear shaped’ as in, going wrong, is that it relates to the use of hot-air balloons in WWI.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 01 at 09:03 PM • permalink

I thought it might have been in reference to when women developed big arses.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 09:09 PM • permalink

#153- why “Hedgehog”?
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 09:37 PM • permalink

On the subject of knowing famous people, an acquaintance of mine named Archie used to be Scooby Do on the Channel 9 Saturday morning kiddies show called “The Channel Niners”; his appointment was relatively brief, however- one morning after a big Friday night at the pub, he was lurking to one side of the studio and nursing a hangover when a little urchin decided it’d be rather a wheeze to pull scooby Do’s tail. Scooby didn’t take kindly to this, and hoofed the little basterds up the clacker while exclaiming on camera (muffled, but audible) to “fuck off you little cunt”, causing a shocked silence from the hostess and much wailing from the punted piccaninny. He later vomited inside the head of the costume before fleeing the building, just ahead of security.
We were dubbed “Loathsome Spotted Reptiles” by Sylvia de Costa Roque, who penned the social pages in the Brisbane Courier Mail in the 1980s, due to our outstanding performance at a Law Ball.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 09:44 PM • permalink

It probably helped her come to this view when we continually referred to her as “Sylvia de Cocka Roach”.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 01 at 09:54 PM • permalink

Actually, Brian is wearing the puffy pirate shirt!
Margos, can I have your autograph?
Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 01 at 10:42 PM • permalink

Habib, is
Loathsome Spotted Reptiles
some kind of posh swear term?
Posted by kae on 2007 05 01 at 10:54 PM • permalink

Of *course* he’s outrageously well-informed and hilarious: He’s a Southern Illinois conservative, like me. We’re all a nest of good eggs, and we all want to take out Fisk with a length of rusty piano wire.
Really though, his family is beloved where I grew up, active in state ecological causes (real ones, that keep places beautiful), local newspapers, the whole bit. I’m sure he’s as every bit as good as the bunch he came from.
Posted by Aaron – Freewill on 2007 05 01 at 11:47 PM • permalink

#177 ‘Loathsome spotted reptiles’ – ah, that rings a bell.
But that is entirely a matter…for you.
Posted by David Morgan on 2007 05 02 at 12:48 AM • permalink

Not forgetting, ‘a self-confessed player of the pink oboe’.
Posted by David Morgan on 2007 05 02 at 12:49 AM • permalink

#177- I believe she plagiarised it from a monologue by Peter Cook featured in the first “Secret Policemans Ball” where he was playing a judge summing up. No matter, it was a badge we wore with pride. Probably should have had blazers made- it’s sort of a RWDB for the eighties. And wasn’t Kerry Packer supposed to be “The Goanna”?
BTW, scroll down through the comments on this MI item- there’s some little scamps having a jolly old chuckle about Pamela Bone’s diagnosis with Jimmy Dancer- those lefties really are a caring lot. I might join in- I hope the authors of those items get a flesh-eating bacterial infection of their unused reproductive organs, an infestation of botfly in their pointy heads and Crohns disease; how’s that for sharing?
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 02 at 12:51 AM • permalink

Beat me to it, DM.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 02 at 12:55 AM • permalink

Margo’s Maid— “Nudist Colony of the Dead” and “The Naked Monster”… that’s all I’m sayin’…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 02 at 01:25 AM • permalink

#183 – “It’s not “Citizen Kane,” but it is what it is—and for what it is, I give it a 10. Grab some beer, pop some popcorn and invite all your friends to laugh and sing along with the zombies from the “Nudist Colony of the Dead!”
Excellent!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 02 at 01:39 AM • permalink

If it’s a choice between Citizen Kane and those titles, no question what I’d rather watch.
Hot damn, Richard. You are a film star.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 02 at 01:46 AM • permalink

I must confess that the only thing I’ve seen Mr M in was that yarn where he was a baddie and killed all the other crims and then the plane slid down the street in Las Vegas for about 20km and he got killed and the only ones that survived was that bloke with the long hair and the sheila. Far be it from me to offer a critique but I thought it was just awful.
Be that as it may and having said that, let me say this, we all do things that seem like a good idea at the time, so it’s off to the video shop for me to have a look at some of the other gear, now I see that he might be a person of interest because all the posts here seem to be generally of the view that he is a thoroughly decent fellow.
But I can’t come at that old french stuff where they all wear that frilly gear and powder. I just can’t.
Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 02 at 01:51 AM • permalink

#186- Two words which should instill fear, loathing, revulsion and involuntary incontinence in anyone with the faintest appreciation for fillum-NICHOLAS CAGE.
Avoid as you would Tim Flannery in a koala suit scrounging for Geothermia startup capital.
Posted by Habib on 2007 05 02 at 01:56 AM • permalink

#187- Yes that’s him. He was in that other stinker where Rusty Crows ex root got flattened by a Kenworth. Happy ending at least.
Have just finished watching the entire 2 seasons of Deadwood, which was interesting from the point of dealing with government interference, witty dialogue and the use of the word cocksucker about 8 million times.
Speaking of involuntary incontinence, there was this gem:
Excuse me Mr Hearst, I am having a gastric episode and I am trying to supress its expression
EB Farnhum
Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 02 at 02:14 AM • permalink

Infidel Tiger—be warned. You may never get “Inky Dinky Doo-Dah Morning” out of your head EVER if you sing along…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 02 at 02:43 AM • permalink

Malkovich is what Id refer to as an old style actor. Not his methods but his apparent drive to keep acting in pretty well anything.
A lot of stars wont touch “iffy” scripts or roles, as it might damage their “brand name”.
A lot of repected actors from the 60,s-80’s starred in some awful crap between their major roles. Think of the piles of spaggetti westerns, swords and sandals, and cheap “crisis of the month” movies spat out in that time. But occasionaly an actor would “own” one of these movies and turn it into magic. Think of Richard Burton in “the wicker man” (NOT nicolas cage), or Donald Sutherland in the 70’s “invasion of the body snatchers”. Both should have sunk, both held up well because of the actors.
A halfway decent actor can sleepwalk through a well shot and written movie (God knows tom Cruise has been doing it for 20 years now) but a great actor will lift dross.
I loved him in Napolian (Gerad Depradeu was Napolian he was Tallyrand?) though Gerad had the best line “you are shit in a silk stocking”.
I havent seen a lot of his stuff but most comes accross well, does understated menace well.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 02 at 04:02 AM • permalink

Sorry, frollickingmole, but it was Edward Woodward in The Wicker Man, and there’s no way that movie should have sunk, regardless.
Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 02 at 06:18 AM • permalink

Gerard is in so many things but he was not Napoleon.
Posted by blogstrop on 2007 05 02 at 06:33 AM • permalink

#183, Richard even has his own entry on IMDB!
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 05 02 at 08:14 AM • permalink

If Habib will only promise to employ his singularly hilarious prose, he may libel me ‘till the proverbial cows come home.
Posted by paco on 2007 05 02 at 08:17 AM • permalink

Yes, paco, I agree. Habibi can take the piss any time out of anyone; his eloquence is legend!
Posted by kae on 2007 05 02 at 08:22 AM • permalink

All I have to say is: Malkovich Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich – Malkovich?
(those who know, know..)
Posted by Nicholas on 2007 05 02 at 08:25 AM • permalink

#183, Richard even has his own entry on IMDB!
Oh, dear. I wonder how this will affect my standing in the primaries…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 02 at 10:56 AM • permalink

Even for a Tim Blair thread this one is a marvel of disorganization.
Posted by mythusmage on 2007 05 02 at 12:02 PM • permalink

#198 The presence of movie stars sends us all a’twitter.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 05 02 at 05:03 PM • permalink

Sucking up to the pinko Hollywood elite? Pathetic. Did JM sign your arse? My god you need surgery bloghead.
Posted by Miranda Divide on 2007 05 02 at 08:21 PM • permalink

Onya Miranda.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 02 at 10:18 PM • permalink

Yeah Miranda. You tell that big name action blockbuster star where he gets off! Uh, I mean that asexually.
Posted by wreckage on 2007 05 04 at 12:25 AM • permalink

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