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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 02:36 pm
Try to make sense of this item in today’s Daily Telegraph:
In these violent times, Um Ahmed takes steps to ensure her safety, strapping on a suicide belt before going to bed at night.
Imagine how dangerous it would be to sleep without several kilograms of explosives attached to yourself.
- We guess the next morning if asked how was their sleep, good, bad etc, Um could reply honestly that they were “dead to the world”!Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 07 06 at 10:14 PM • permalink
- No problem at all, Tim, working out the sense of this. If you suspend the laws of nature for a few seconds and think like a member of the al-Aqsa Martys Brigades.
Read the fine print. She is only prepared to die for her cause if there is an unexpected Israeli assault on Abasa (which in case you didn’t know is near the southern Gaza town of Khan Younis). As she is clearly expecting it, she takes the belt straight off again. As soon as the photographers have left.
- So, um, what Um’s saying is that Paleo-jihadi splodeydopes are actually safety monitors, like those people with stop signs at school crossings? What a shame their safety devices seem to explode so often. Maybe it’s something in the wiring.Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2006 07 06 at 10:35 PM • permalink
So, um, what Um’s saying is that Paleo-jihadi splodeydopes are actually safety monitors …
Of course—because, after all, a suicide-belted society is a polite society.
What happens if one or all of her eight kids takes a flying leap into her bed before she’s awake, as kids are wont to do?
Posted by Polish Frizzle on 2006 07 06 at 10:48 PM • permalink
- The mother-of-eight…
She would have better served the world by strapping on a chastity belt.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 07 06 at 10:55 PM • permalink
- Now, now, you lot! This is just Um’s way of telling Hubby it’s that time of the month.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 07 06 at 10:55 PM • permalink
- Some other possible explanations for wearing a bomb belt in bed…
1. She sleeps right through a regular alarm.
2. Its a novel form of contraception.
3. It stops her snoring.
- #8 I’m guessing she’d be a great bang.Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 07 06 at 10:55 PM • permalink
- Where do you suppose Mr. Um Ahmed is?Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 06 at 10:56 PM • permalink
- I don’t know, Kyda, but I can guarantee he never says to her “blow me”Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 07 06 at 11:02 PM • permalink
- Death by nocturnal emission.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 07 06 at 11:07 PM • permalink
- 3rd base in the Middle East – taking off her suicide belt.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 07 06 at 11:25 PM • permalink
- And the Arabs think wearing pink panties to bed is torture.Posted by perfectsense on 2006 07 06 at 11:38 PM • permalink
- I’m willing to contribute to a fund to encourage more such safety programs there.Posted by Carl in N.H. on 2006 07 06 at 11:39 PM • permalink
In these violent times, Um Ahmed takes steps to ensure her safety, strapping on a suicide belt before going to bed at night.
If, after reading that one sentence, you still believe all cultures are equally valid and morally equivalent…
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 07 06 at 11:41 PM • permalink
- Now that’s what I call a real blow up doll.
Boom tish!
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 06 at 11:46 PM • permalink
- I get no kick from C-4.
Mere dynamite doesn’t thrill me a mite,
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a bang out of you?Some get a kick from TNT.
I’m sure that if I lit even one stick
That would bore me terrif’icly too
Yet I get a bang out of you.I get a bang ev’rytime I see
You strap one on there before me.
I get a bang though it’s clear to me
You obviously don’t chador me.I get no kick in a plane,
Flying straight ‘n’ level with a load of infi-devils,
Is my idea of nothing to do,
Yet I get a bang –
a Semtex-dildo bang –
Yes, I get a bangggggg outta youuuu.
- I think it is beyond the abilities of most normal people to either fatham what goes through most of these boneheads minds, or what motivates their bizarre and self-destructive actions…
after reading yesterday about a common practice in parts of Africa being mother’s using hot stones to “roll” out the breasts of their young girls to “protect” them from being raped, i think their is a strong case for certain parts of the planet to be declared insane asylums….
- #29 All class Dave SPosted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 07 at 12:21 AM • permalink
- Its also unfortunate that things have to descend to this level, but with both her own and other kids obviously being subject to so much brainwashing at home and in their culture in general, that in the event of her doing herself in, emulating her would be the natural career path for her kids…
so if she really wants to go through with it, she may as well take her brood out with her and save us all a lot of trouble later…
- O/T but news reports are just coming in of George W blowing out “candles” on his “birthday cake”.Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 07 at 12:57 AM • permalink
- Why do I have a sudden urge to pull up outside their hovel at three in the morning and honk?Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 07 at 01:05 AM • permalink
- Did the earth move for you too honey?Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 07 07 at 01:08 AM • permalink
- #29 – Nice work.
Do you do “8 Miles High” for an encore?Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 07 07 at 01:18 AM • permalink
- This article says that the first Palestinian suicide bombing was in 2002. Surely it was earlier than that.Posted by dsmith_michigan on 2006 07 07 at 01:24 AM • permalink
“Um Ahmed” is Arabic for “Amhed’s mum”.
How sad is this excuse for a society? She doesn’t even have a name for herself, just a label. In keeping with warped Islamic thinking, a name that she hopes garners her favour with Allah, i.e., that she bore a son.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 07 07 at 02:07 AM • permalink
- #34 Margos Maid,
It’s a plastic turkey with candles on it.Posted by Daniel San on 2006 07 07 at 02:24 AM • permalink
- But, darling Um, will you resect me in the morning?Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 07 07 at 02:27 AM • permalink
The first recorded suicide bomber involved in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict was a woman, 28-year-old Wafa Idris, from the Am’ar Refugee Camp in Ramallah.
…
The attack occurred on January 27, 2002.
Well, one thing can be said for certain. There can be little doubt why no one was prepared to put their name to this thoroughly contemptible and ignorant piece of crap.
- “Um Ahmed” is Arabic for “Amhed’s mum”.
I’m assuming she originally had a different name, since it seems awfully unfair to be born and given that name….
“It’ll make sense once you get married and give us that first grandchild!”
Posted by Quentin George on 2006 07 07 at 04:48 AM • permalink
- And if she accidentaly goes off, who will cop the blame for “shelling” a lady and 5 kids???Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 07 07 at 05:35 AM • permalink
- She probably does have her own name, but Arabs tend to use nicknames and titles a lot, and often refer to themselves as “son of,” or “father of” and so on.Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 07 07 at 07:04 AM • permalink
- #48 Geoff, I notice in the article that Wafa Idris was divorced which for a muslim woman is not a good thing to be. Also, she’s got 3 brothers in Fatah, so that’s not good either.
She was probably under a lot of pressure to do the right thing and make her life count. Just not on this plane.
I did read an article a couple of years back about the (then) new trend of women suicide bombers, and apparently a few of them were women who were on the outer for some reason. Divorce, widowed, that sort of thing. The article wasn’t online, and i can’t remember which paper it was. Probably the Hun.In any case, it seemed to be a death to alleviate or prevent dishonour.
Heaven forbid they might treat women with a bit of dignity for once in their lives.
If Um Ahmed wants to blow herself up, then that’s her call. Just don’t take anyone else with her.
Am I the only person who is fascinated with the idea that all these tough, determined muslims are so dedicated and proud of their faith/brainwashing that they always have to hide behind a mask?
I’ve alwasy felt that the need to hide your face away is more indicative of shame.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 07 07 at 07:29 AM • permalink
- Ushie — The most common and accurate nickname in Arabic translating as ‘father of none and son of many’ (stolen from Kismet… quick, in the movie version, this line is spoken to which actor who would go on to have a long television career?)Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 07 at 10:01 AM • permalink
Am I the only person who is fascinated with the idea that all these tough, determined muslims are so dedicated and proud of their faith/brainwashing that they always have to hide behind a mask?
I’ve alwasy felt that the need to hide your face away is more indicative of shame.
With the Palestinians, I suspect it’s not shame, but fear. If the Israelis could identify them, they’d jug them ASAP.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 07 07 at 10:24 AM • permalink
In any case, it seemed to be a death to alleviate or prevent dishonour.
IIRC, the second recorded female Palestinian suicide bomber had had an extramarital affair. Her husband and lover cooked up the suicide mission scheme to restore their “honor” and since their “honor” demanded that she die in any event, she said what the hell, might as well go out a martyr.
I blame the Jews. Along with Bush, of course.
Great thread, by the way. I got a real bang out of it.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 07 at 11:28 AM • permalink
- Richard, if you’re referring to the Vincent Minnelli musical version, I guess it would have to be Sebastian Cabot. Watched that one not too long ago—love the music. Don’t recall that particular line. The original, non-musical version with Ronald Coleman and Marlene Dietrich has much to recommend it, too.Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 07 at 11:40 AM • permalink
- #35, richard mcenroe,
Bwhahahahahah. You’re a baadddd boy and I love you. That is exactly what I thought.Civilization is losing to the enemy because those in charge refuse to name the enemy, and our right to unconditional self-defense. You don’t hold hands with an enemy. First you crush the willingness to continue fighting out of them, then you tell them how things will be in the future. You don’t defend yourself by placing the enemy’s needs before your own, and don’t win by placing any other lives before those of your own people by rules of engagement that provides the enemy rest or surcease, nor by apologizing for fighting a war that was declared against you.
Sorry. Sometimes it just breaks out without any warning.
- #55 There’s also the ubiquitous “slave of”, i.e: “abd-”Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 07 07 at 05:50 PM • permalink
- I would think your granddaughters would be the ones who would stop that, since you seem to have given up even thinking of protecting them, Room 237.Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 07 07 at 06:48 PM • permalink
- More Happy go lucky Muslim stories. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,19722745-1702,00.html
- Andrea—considering that my oldest son is 2 1/2, I am not too concerned about defending my granddaughters yet.
saltydog—I guess I just am very pessamistic about our future. And I am by nbature an optimistic person. I just fear that western civilization is about to be replaced.
Look at it this way. Despite all the movies, Rome did not “Fall” in a vicious battle. Rather, the elites and everyone else just stopped caring. That is what is happening now.
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