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Last updated on July 16th, 2017 at 02:25 pm
SMH blogger Jack Marx fired! Here’s the cause of the trouble.
- #1
Hopefully, the Libs know to keep pounding Rudd’s glass
jaw.
If the PM-ship doesn’t come off, Rudd’s name’ll prolly be mud …
- Terry Lane prints lies. He’s OK.
Phillip Adams prints lies. He’s OK.
The ABC promotes lies. They’re fine.Jack Marx indulges in satire. Fired.Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 08 20 at 05:03 AM • permalink
Oh yes Pogria, mine comes afterwards (emphasis added)
On her knees, but still towering over him, she would have leaned forward and stared him square in the eye – a pout, a coquettish smile, a flutter of the lids. She’d have doubtless smiled back.
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 08 20 at 05:07 AM • permalink
Jack hits it on the head, lies are fine, satireof the new saviour is a sackable offence.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 08 20 at 05:09 AM • permalink
The Shadowy Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Heart.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 08 20 at 05:09 AM • permalink
Sorry meant to block quote. I need another glass
of red.—Nora
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 08 20 at 05:10 AM • permalink
This is what happens when you work for a lefty paper, and you start having doubts about the left.
Of course the same thing happens at right-wing papers, but then lefties aren’t supposed to be heartless bastards who sack people for not toeing the company line.
Posted by Blithering Bunny on 2007 08 20 at 05:17 AM • permalink
- “her breasts as saddlebags over the man’s steaming ears.”
Exquisite! Maybe Das Kapital isn’t as unreadable as they say…Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2007 08 20 at 05:37 AM • permalink
I reckon Kevvy made some very threatening phone calls to
the Fairfax chiefs. He’s got a track record for that sort of behavior, and as the likely next prime minister he could probably make life very difficult for the SMH.
- Well
*adjusts breathing, a little pink in the face*
after Jack Marx gets over the shock, he can head for his new career in eroto-political writing.
That’s some stallion-level writing there .
*fans self and smiles…*Posted by carpefraise on 2007 08 20 at 05:46 AM • permalink
update 7.30pm report – get the transcript once it is out
Ruddster claims he didn’t see a lap dance in the 40 minutes he was in the club, and categorically denies any inappropriate behaviour, but admits to drinking too much and cannot recall ANY other details of what went on.
What a downright liar.
There is a lap dance every 5 minutes in most strip joints that want to stay open. He’d have seen plenty in the time he was there.
What a liar. He can’t bring himself to say he saw topless women
– and people are saying how “manly” it is of him going there – it is a farce!If it was Downer he’d be sacked.
The post raises the perfectly reasonable question – since Rudd won’t provide details himself – of what actually happened.
This will create more interest in the post than it was ever going to achieve otherwise, and Marx will go onto bigger and better things. Good show all round, really.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 20 at 05:58 AM • permalink
One aspect worth following up: did Rudd perhaps use his taxpayer-funded credit card at the club?
Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 08 20 at 05:59 AM • permalink
Shame for Marx, I liked the post. Had he have written that about the Prime Minister the SMH would have given him a promotion.
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 08 20 at 06:00 AM • permalink
So many people seem to miss the point of the seriousness of Kevin Rudd’s lapse of intelligence.
He was representing fellow Australians, and at their expense whilst visiting ‘The Big Apple” and attending UN meetings.
One can forgive him having a little too much wine at dinner- easy to do and many of us can empathise with him over that.I am sure these diplomatic functions serve plenty of the good stuff.
We also have been in a similar situations and have refused invites to continue onto a night club. because we knew we had had more than enough.
However this was a strip lap dance club owned and controlled by the ‘Mob’, I understand. I would suggest nothing goes on in that club that is not secretly taped both filmed and conversations for future use. It is A ‘High Class’ brothel. Who can tell what demands maybe called in and by whom when he is elected as Our Prime Minister.
He may not have been seeking election in 2003 but he sure as hell was clawing his way up the ranks and probably undermining Beasly and Latham to boot.
It is not a minor issue and to treat it as so undermines what values we try to instil into our children.
Drink driving is not condoned in any quarter and nor is attending girly bars at our expense.
What Joe and Joan citizen do in their own time is up to them but those who who aspire to public office have to adhere to a higher moral stance if for no other reason that what they do can have far reaching and unforeseen consequences affecting the nation at some future date. Those so quick to dismiss it as ‘Just a bloky thing’ need to think a little more deeply.
- #16
Ruddster claims he didn’t see a lap dance in the 40 minutes he was in the club, and categorically denies any inappropriate behaviour, but admits to drinking too much and cannot recall ANY other details of what went on.Doesn’t gel with: (Therese was) pretty understanding. We’ve been married for 25 years.Such a holey memory for an allegedly intelligent person, too …
Anyone who wants to check out the kind of blog Fairfax is happy with, try this ‘n– Australia or New Zealand’s best blog, as proven by the prestigious award logo.
Recent items include non-fictional accounts of using prostitutes and hearty tales of being caught wanking.
With Marx out of the way, it seems to me a tremendous opportunity for this little beauty to be named Best Australian and New Zealand Blog for the second year in succession!
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 20 at 07:28 AM • permalink
I thought Marx’s piece was hillarious.
#22 Murph, you are correct. Had it been Howard copulating with a dog, well that would have been satire of the ‘bravest’ kind.
Just some questions:
1. Is the SMH smothering dissent?
2. The irony that Marx’s piece was placed in a News Ltd publication. Isn’t this the sort of thing that Marr is whing about? The suppression of thought in Howard’s Australia?
3. What of Leunig’s questionable cartoons?
thanks egg, here is the interesting part:
KERRY O’BRIEN: But can you remember seeing lap dancers performing?
KEVIN RUDD: Look, what I can recall in terms of the actual venue itself was that not much more than you would see in the last 20 years in a certain of the pubs in Australia, I’ve got to say.
KERRY O’BRIEN: But that’s what I would like to clarify. Because you don’t see lap dancing in most pubs in Australia. Can you recall seeing lap dancers performing while you were there?
KEVIN RUDD: No, I can’t. And I can’t recall myself or in the case of Mr Snowdon, any inappropriate behaviour. The error that I made was to go into this place in the first place and I think there’s a report in today’s paper, we didn’t stay there very long. Someone else indicated that I was a bit embarrassed about it all and we got out of there fairly soon.
KERRY O’BRIEN: So, I mean, obviously you thought enough of it to ring your wife the next day, you thought enough of the wrongness of it, in your terms…
KEVIN RUDD: That’s correct, yes.
KERRY O’BRIEN: …to call your wife the next day. But you’re quite emphatic that you can’t recall seeing any lap dancers performing that night?
KEVIN RUDD: I can say that I have no recollection whatsoever of me doing anything inappropriate that night. I have no recollection of seeing much beyond what you’d see in your average Australian pub over the last 20 years and I remember us leaving fairly soon. This is four years ago too, Kerry, I’ve got to say.
KERRY O’BRIEN: I think you’d remember if you’d never seen lap dancers before in your life, I think you’d remember that unless you were to put it mildly, blotto?
KEVIN RUDD: Well, as I’ve been very direct with you, I’d had too many drinks. I can’t be anymore explicit than that. I mean, I know it doesn’t pass muster on this program, I accept that. That’s just the truth of it. I can’t be any clearer than I’ve been. I’ve been up-front about the fact, no excuses. I’m responsible and I’ve been level about that.
FIXED their typos on rudd’s name as obrien – funny in itself really. bolded the beautiful quotes.
This chap certainly has some high ideals about freedom of speech.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 20 at 07:57 AM • permalink
KERRY O’BRIEN: But can you remember seeing lap dancers performing?
KERRY O’BRIEN: Look, what I can recall in terms of the actual venue itself was that not much more than you would see in the last 20 years in a certain of the pubs in Australia, I’ve got to say.
I have got to start visiting more Canberra pubs…
- #34
KERRY O’BRIEN: …to call your wife the next day. But you’re quite emphatic that you can’t recall seeing any lap dancers performing that night? KEVIN RUDD: I can say that I have no recollection whatsoever of me doing anything inappropriate that night. I have no recollection of seeing much beyond what you’d see in your average Australian pub over the last 20 years and I remember us leaving fairly soon. This is four years ago too, Kerry, I’ve got to say.Thus, Rudd doesn’t rule out strippers.
I think the real irony is that the SMH has finally formally ditched “the daily truth”.
On the KRudd front, I’ve been pissed on occaision, having woken up in a police cell one fine Xmas morning, I feel I have the cred to discuss the effects of being on a bender or two – anyway on no occaision have I ever lost recollection of an entire night.
It has been known that a day or two after the events in question that things have jogged my memory and made me say “oh fark, I didn’t do that did I?” but the idea that he lost the entire nights events (particularly those concerning naked women) strikes me as a pretty pathetic lie.
Posted by Harry Buttle on 2007 08 20 at 08:04 AM • permalink
Some of Kerry O’Brien’s quotes:
“you were a bit of a two pot screamer”
“a person usually has to consume a great deal of alcohol to suffer memory loss from a night on the tiles.”
“I think you’d remember that unless you were to put it mildly, blotto?”
Why do I get the impression Kezza likes a good night on the turps?
It’s a pity many of the American readers are probably skipping this thread.
Hello, My name is Kevin and I’m here to brrraaaaaapp……
Guess “freedom of expression”, although not specifically “stated” in the U.S. Constitution AS “freedom of expression” (used more of a coverall phrase) BUT typically accepted in the spawn of Mother England, as in equivalent of Speakers’ Corner in England’s Hyde Park…are not accepted in OZ.
Yes there is the right of employers to do as they choose, but this employer just happens to be a member of the press, where as “freedom of the” is absolute, in Mother England’s spawn. One who/whom would scream to high heaven, should their right to print their slanted news, be infringed upon or called into question.
Being pissed is one of the few topics upon which O’Brien speaks with impressive authority.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 20 at 08:10 AM • permalink
I wonder how Kevni was allowed entrance if he was so pissed that he blacked out. Lax bouncers, or a pollie telling a porky?
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 08 20 at 08:19 AM • permalink
AAHHHHH HAHAHA has anyone heard the Tpain song “Im in love with a stripper”? hahaha I could imagine him being really drunk going “nah it was different, we had a conection, we were talking about like yknow? like I wasnt even looking at her boobs, we had a conection, nah she want me”
Posted by dave greene on 2007 08 20 at 08:27 AM • permalink
It does seem as though sites like Scrappleface, The Onion and even our friend Iowahawk would be banned, or blocked should the wrong political party, come into power.
Actually, it could or would be any of those that hold the high position of what is called “press” (and their lackey politicos) that could or would be the determiners of who/whom is in and who/whom, is out.
I thought Marx went a touch too far with the humping the pillow bullshit. The whole thing being speculation, he could get away with titilating bits, but having Kevni going for a bit of a dry whatever in the privacy of his preferred accomodation is over the line.
I would have thought a bollocking from the boss more to the point though. Plenty of complete wankers have been covered for in the past, but Marx writes good columns.
OH!How do you titillate an ocelot?
.
- Cripes: Auntie’s breaky political slot with Franny & Grattan: Snowdon’s denial, vox pops all positive, Beattie’s positive spin … all before Grattan got to say her piece (they did the same over the ‘Brian Burke affair’).
Usually it’s juz Grattan’s opinion piece.Talk about advancing the ALP’s campaign on the public purse … clean ‘em up or privatise ‘em to subscription-only, like the impoverished U.S. NPR … they’ll have the same fate as Voluntary Student Unionism – akin to voluntary taxation … good luck!
The Sydney Morning Herald is clearly trying to cultivate the same relationship with Kevin Rudd that the Boston Globe has with Teddy Kennedy, i.e., supine, with a firm grip on both ankles, feet firmly beside one’s ears…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 20 at 10:08 AM • permalink
Appears Snowdon was at the UN as part of the Cairns Group (7 September – 9 December, 2003).
No official record for the Rudder … a schmoozing tour?
I wonder if Rudd was asked to leave because of something like this.
I think if that actually happened to Rudd in New York, he’d still come up with an excuse.
Kevni: I tripped over and fell into a brownstone with a girl surrounded by candles on a bed and everything burned down and we were out on the street and I was pretty drunk.
Fairfax interviewer: Moving on to Iraq, Mr Rudd, how bad is the government’s new policy on…
Kevin Rudd ‘uppity’ at strip club
Appears, at the very least, Col Allan had to march Rudd out of the club himself: ‘No, no this won’t do’ and his party was acting up and he just walked them all out.
Differs from Rudd’s claims, and why did he require Therese’s understanding?
Well all I have to say is that it’s a darned shame our Constitution precludes Rudd coming over here and running with Hillary in 2008. They would certainly constitute a “dream team”.
If you will recall<sorry:)>Hillary used the “can’t recall” gambit hundreds of times in her Grand Jury testimony. A perfect match all scuttled by some short sighted angry white males from a bygone age.
Kev’s new MySpace friends at Goldfingers Men’s Club – http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22279118-5012974,00.html
Posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher on 2007 08 20 at 12:29 PM • permalink
Post editor led clean-cut pol on strip night of shame
He said he told his wife a day after it happened and called her a “very understanding” woman. He also conceded he has hung out with Allan in New York at least three other times.
… Allan, who is no stranger to Scores and who was accused in April by a former Page Six staffer of receiving sexual favors from women provided by the club in a private room.
A Post spokesman denied the allegations, which were included in a signed affidavit by ex-Postie Ian Spiegelman, who also charged that fellow scribes, including PageSix boss Richard Johnson, took cash, gifts, junkets or other “freebies” from sources in exchange for favorable coverage.
Not our Kevni, surely?
It’s a pity many of the American readers are probably skipping this thread.
Hey, not me!!! I’m trying to keep the chuckles and snorts sequestered within my cubicle so as not to arouse suspicion among my workmates. 😉
Posted by Mary in LA on 2007 08 20 at 05:18 PM • permalink
Whilst still in Opposition, Rudd’s already pulled out two of the classic politician denials: “I wasn’t informed” (of his wife’s business dealings) and “I don’t remember” (the inside of a strip club). The former sounds plausible. The second is just plain embarrassing. So let’s not pretend he’s any more honest than John Howard (who, if I recall correctly, was once known as ‘Honest John’?) This incident should hurt Rudd at the polls – dunno if it will or not, but it should – because one of his key platforms is superior credibility, which I give at the moment a big fat zero.
Kevin must also be one of those people who rehearses everything he’s got to say in front of the mirror a zillion times. Problem with that method is you start sounding repetitive. How many times, in this instance, have you heard Kevin say “I’m just as flawed and failed as the rest of them.” I count three – twice in one interview! – and I haven’t even been following the news all that much.
the story has been circulating in Canberra for several months.
It first came up when Col Allan was outed as a regular at Scores by a former employee of the New York Post, who was sacked by Allan.
Nobody touched the Rudd angle, in part because the suggestion that he fondled somebody wasn’t in the original version of the rumour
#70 – I will be throwing a massive celebration party the day Beattie quits (note I can’t say loses an election, as the opposition is so hopeless in qld).
I am so sick of seeing his stupid grin on tv that I automatically look away and mutter profanities under my breath.
For someone who said he’d resign if hospitals didn’t improve, I’m still waiting.
We have record waiting lists, and record number of people waiting to get on to waiting lists (the secret lists).
We have ambulances lined up holding people on stretchers because there aren’t any hospital beds.
We have people needing life saving surgery begging media to tell their story so Beattie will rush them into surgery to avoid embarrassment. Only problem is this moves someone else down the list. We don’t have enough ICU nurses to handle it all, let alone beds.
We have people being literally chucked out of hospitals to free up beds, with physical altercations between family members and hospital security staff.
We have Indian doctors who can’t read English and prescribe penicillin based anti-biotics despite large warnings and warning bands on patients warning against this. Then you need a translator to even understand what they are saying.
My great fear is needing to go to the GCH because my private hospital cannot provide the care my family may need.
Beattie has dragged the chain on hospitals and other infrastructure, that we need a city council to come up with road projects for the city, coal companies are having to build railroads and the CTH is looking closely at the ports, all because Beattie was too busy counting the royalties to bother with building anything, and now all he cares about is his precious water grid, which if we get 1 good rain season, wont be needed for another 10 years, but is all the policy he cares about.
Then we have the councils “don’t poll or you are sacked” fiasco.
So sick of Beattie!! Just in case you missed the point!
/rant
- #71
the story has been circulating in Canberra for several months …
Nobody touched the Rudd angle, in part because the suggestion that he fondled somebody wasn’t in the original version of the rumourReeks of bullshit.
Canberra interested in the fate of Col Allan?
The only angle of interest would have been Rudd … per Downer’s alleged question in the chamber at the time.
Auntie: Rudd in strip joint: ‘Oh no, this won’t do’
Differs from Osher’s quote at #61:
(Col Allan) wanted to go. He said: ‘No, no this won’t do’ and his party was acting up and he just walked them all out.
Hmmm, Auntie?
Funny how Fairfax sacks a journo for making fun of Rudd and keeps a journalist who wants people to stop buying Fairfax newspapers – Wendy Frew
If I were a shareholder I would be asking the Fairfax board some serious questions about just whose side SMH management is on.
As for Rudd’s popularity – he is the product of more than a decade of prosperity. Voters under 30 have never known anything else but plenty of jobs and low interest rates and think it can never end. They are the same as the voters who put Whitlam into power in 1972 – and the consequences are likely to be the same, if not worse.
One big change now is that the states are entirely dependent on two major revenue streams that are linked directly to the health of the economy – GST and stamp duty. It won’t take much of a hiccup for the states to see a steep and immediate drop in revenue. And when you are already overcommitted … No wonder Bracks cleared out before the federal election. How quickly will Beattie and Rann follow after the election? Iemma is too dim to notice.
#75
Ah yes, the strip club without lap dancers.Why deny seeing naked dancers whilst in a strip club … unless there’s more to the tale?
Maybe we have the story all wrong. I’m starting to wonder if Rudd got drunk, was headed to Scores and went into Saint Patrick’s Cathedral by mistake. That would explain why he didn’t see any lap dancers. He then the got kicked out after groping a nun and yelling ” Wooooo! Take it off!! Woooo! I’m a naughty boy!”
Just speculation.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 08 20 at 08:03 PM • permalink
At least Rudd hasn’t written about someone visiting a strip club, or he would need to be sacked.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 20 at 08:38 PM • permalink
Rudd visits strip club. Marx gets boned. Weird.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 08 20 at 08:48 PM • permalink
Tune: Kiss is on my lips- Hall and Oates
The media wonder why I called you that time
The very next day
I dont feel the need to give such secrets away
You think maybe I need help, no, I know that Im right
Im just used to getting away with telling liesWhen they insist on knowing the gist
I tell them this
Her tits, Her tits weren’t on my lips
My hands they never touched her hips
Its all because I drank two cans of piss
Would I tell a lie?I go crazy thinking about the things I didn’t see
Facts like her snatch in my face kind of escape meHer tits, Her tits weren’t on my lips
My hands they never touched her hips
Its all because I drank two cans of piss
Would I tell a lie?
#92 A true masterpiece of the lyrical arts, nic.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 20 at 10:34 PM • permalink
Here’s a headline for the Herald:
SACKED ON HIS BIRTHDAY-BY EMAIL!
WORKER FALLS FOUL OF HOWARD’S WORKPLACE DISMISSAL LAWSOh wait…
Posted by The Mongrel on 2007 08 20 at 10:52 PM • permalink
Poll dancing – I’ve done it 4 times since 1996. I’m praying I get to do it again this year.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 08 20 at 11:00 PM • permalink
When Stephanie Balough interviewed Elliot she was told that Allen was the one who wanted to leave but when Ray Hadley talked to Elliot a little later the story had shifted significantly.Our hero Kevvi was now the member of the group determined to take control of the other party animals and leave this den of strong liquor and naked women.One can’t help wondering if pressure could possibly have been applied to sanitize the original version.After all Kevvi has some form when it comes to attempting to have facts rearranged to suit.It may be that the Marx version is unintentionally closer to the truth than anything so far revealed.
#96 You mean a Polonaise?
“Darling, it’s Kevin. Look, I’m very sorry, but last night, well…I had a few drinks and I…I listened to Chopin. Pardon? No, no Lapland dancing that I recall.”
Kevin was evicted from the club by the heartless owner. He was forced to spend the rest of the night in a hire car. It was these scarring events that have given Kev his social unconscious.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 08 20 at 11:23 PM • permalink
Scene: Board meeting Anastopolis Murphy Symes, Advertising consultants
Wazza Symes: Maaaaaate, great to see you again Kev, good to see ya giving the Rodent a run for his money. At the titty bars again eh, eh? You lucky bastard. Hey, if you fancy a bit of ‘research’ the agency has an account at ‘The Smoking Pole’
Rudd: Erm, hello Walter, nice to see you again. I don’t think that will be necessary somehow. What I need to know is what can you do about my, um, situation?
Symes: Mate you’re a legend! Let me run these by you:
First, we release a new slogan and ad campaign, something like ‘Putting the bounce back into politics’, something subtle and classy though, we think your face surrounded by a gaggle of birds with huge fun bags will hit the spot if you know what I mean.
Rudd: Well, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind
Symes: Ok, we attack the blue collar group, we put you on Triple M advertising your new CD compilation of tunes you know, ‘You can leave your hat on’, ‘Girls girls girls’, ‘Yankee Rose’, mate, your ratings wont be the only thing to go through the roof if you get my drift. Mate, you’ll be a man of the people
Rudd: Erm
Symes: Mate, Im just getting started, sponsorship from Bundy Rum, a tour with Barnsey and you are in the lodge
Rudd: (plaintively), I was rather hoping of something with a feminist perspective.
‘The Smoking Pole’
Best. Strip. Club. Name. Ever.
Bravo!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 08 21 at 12:01 AM • permalink
i think Krudd and the Kronies could use the Bloodhound Gangs song for their election song…a sort of blue singlet version of “ITS TIME.”
Bloodhound Gang – A Lap Dance is So Much Better when the Stripper is Crying Lyrics
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy’s Hump Palace lookin’ for love.
It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin’ hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin’ gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.Well, that night I lost myself
to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Well I find it’s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’Well, faster than you can say, “shallow grave”, this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin’ my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, “Well that’s a coincidence darlin’, ‘cause I was just thinkin’ about skinnin’ you like a deer.”
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. ‘Course, it’s hard to hide a hard-on when you’re dressed like Minnie Pearl.Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Well I find it’s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’So, Bambi’s goin’ on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, “Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on
Santa Claus’s tummy-tum?” Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I’m parkin’ the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin’ me to buy baby formula.Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Well I find it’s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N’ Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin’ through the latest issue of “Throb”, when I saw Bambi starin’ at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin’ seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’
Well I find it’s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’…im sure Krudd the Khameleon can morph from poncy pantywaist into a brawny trucker to exploit the lyrics to be just one of the guys
The new Labor campaign commercial.
Kevin Rudd, in thong, turns to face camera, smiles and says, “So where the hell are you?”
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 21 at 12:39 AM • permalink
You show me yours, Kev and I’ll show you mine, you funny little minkey
My suggestion for an ALP campaign song (with apologies to The Rocky Horror Picture Show):
Let’s do the Kev Grope again
Let’s do the Kev Grope again
It’s just a grab to the left
And then a feel to the ri-i-i-ight
Put your hands on her tits
And then you squeeze them ti-ight
And my licking my lips
Will really drive you insa-a-a-a-ne
Let’s do the Kev Grope again
A dwarf got his willy stuck in the vaccum cleaner.
Kev, do you like to watch this?
http://abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/08/21/2010380.htm?section=justin
Maybe Kevni was (the dwarf) part of the act?
- There goes dannis chances of a career in the ALP?
kissing, fondling and simulating sexPosted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 08 21 at 06:59 AM • permalink
- Posted by curious george on 2007 08 21 at 08:07 AM • permalink
I’ve done plenty of things whilst bladdered that I want to forget, but can’t. Getting a skinful sometimes involves groping anything with a heartbeat, getting naked and running around like an idiot, throwing beer in all directions, roaring like a pirate, destruction of property, theft, offensive language, urinating on anything not moving, vomiting in strange places and falling asleep under a tree somewhere.
Kevin remembers alright. He just wishes it weren’t true and that it would all just go away. I know that feeling sometimes. I just wish the lying prick would come out and say it instead of hiding behind the “I don’t remember” smokescreen.
And speaking of strippers and wanting to forget, there is a story about a stripper at a party that I didn’t even attend that I want to forget.
A mate had his bucks night on a rivercruise. The stripper turned up and started doing her thing. The future brother-in-law then whipped out the old fella and started having a toggle in front of everyone on the boat. When asked what he was doing, he replied, “I always do this when there’s a stripper” and carried on.
Like I said, I wasn’t there, and I still can’t get that image out of my mind. Might be time for a drink or two….
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 08 21 at 08:48 AM • permalink
Sunday, 19 August 2007: Will Kevin Rudd’s strip club admission affect your vote?
Yes: 121105 (53%)
No: 105610 (47%)
2GB poll (still open):
Rudd’s naked ambition – NY strip trip flips poll slip?
19% – He will go up in the polls
49% – He will go down in the polls
30% – It will have no affect on his popularity
2% – UndecidedKevin and the strip club… do you think less of him?
10% – More
56% – Less
33% – Same
Osher’s (Scores owner) new version of events.
So Kev walked all the way through the strip club to the VIP lounge without realizing what kind of place it was, demanded to leave immediately, and then insisted all calling his wife to apologize for…absolutely nothing…
Ay-yup.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 21 at 10:39 AM • permalink
Tomorrow’s headline in the SMH:
Rudd walks into Strip Club by Mistake, Flees in Shock, Horror—Trustworthy Pimp Says So!
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 21 at 11:01 AM • permalink
The new logo for the Kevin07 campaign : It shows that he is a warmblooded human but he can be a hard man if needed. A real standup guy.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 08 22 at 06:04 AM • permalink
Let me be ther first to blame Bush, so to speak!
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 08 22 at 02:29 PM • permalink
I sense another Walkley Award
cummingcoming on for Marx…—Nick