Ride the allah coaster

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 03:04 pm

Roll up, folks, to the First National Muslim Fun Day:

Britain’s biggest fun park has sparked a race row — with a MUSLIMS-ONLY day.

Up to 28,000 are expected at Alton Towers on September 17 when there will be no music, booze or gambling.

Instead there will be prayer areas, Muslim stalls and all food served will be HALAL.

Things could get interesting at Alton Towers if other scheduled visitors turn up early:

The Alton Towers and Thorpe Park theme parks are the latest venues trying to attract the lucrative “pink pound”.

Both will close their doors to the general public for a day in September to welcome gay men and women over 18.

Posted by Tim B. on 07/01/2006 at 09:33 AM
    1. It’s a shocker how the UK is accomodating the intolerance of Muslims.
      BTW I bought a copy of Melanie Phillips book Londonistan through Amazon.  Well worth a read.

      Posted by Melanie on 2006 07 01 at 10:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. I cant wait for Disney to do the same only for Mickey to be beheaded for blasphemy, Minnie to be placed in a burkha and Donald flogged for not wearing pants. A bear, a pig and a donkey, Bismillah, that cant be haram either, by the prophet they must go as well!

      Posted by Nic on 2006 07 01 at 10:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. So as long as Britain is practicing such enlighted racial relations, when is the next Whites-Only Wednesday?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 01 at 10:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hold on, folks.  It sounds like these guys rented the whole park out for a day and are asking that certain things be changed for their tastes.  Perfectly reasonable commercial transaction.

      (But, yeah, if someone had rented it out for a Christians-only day, the EU would be sending in the Shock Troops of Tolerance to put an end to it)

      Posted by Andrew on 2006 07 01 at 10:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. What happens if a non-muslim turns up, and lies that they are a muslim so as to gain entry: will they be evicted? arrested? sent to hell?

      Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 07 01 at 10:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. They are renting it out so they don’t have to be confronted with the outrageous behaviour of alcohol drinking, gambling and music listening infidels.

      Posted by Melanie on 2006 07 01 at 10:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. WeekByWeek:

      What happens if a non-muslim turns up, and lies that they are a muslim so as to gain entry: will they be evicted? arrested? sent to hell?

      I think non-muslims get sent to hell by default.

      Posted by Melanie on 2006 07 01 at 10:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. I suppose these groups have the right to hire the park for their own special little get-togethers, but in my view, it’s just another way to fracture society.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 01 at 10:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. where can i get tickets to the stonings?

      Posted by KK on 2006 07 01 at 10:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ofcourse they do have the right to hire the park but “Muslim Fun Day’ does sound like an oxymoron.

      Posted by Melanie on 2006 07 01 at 10:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. I suppose these groups have the right to hire the park for their own special little get-togethers, but in my view, it’s just another way to fracture society.

      Imagine what favors you do for your group when a family comes to the park and finds that their “obnoxious” presence is not welcome. That won’t breed hostility, will it?

      Personally, I find myself forced to share the world every day with people I hate. I manage.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 01 at 10:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. Personally, I find myself forced to share the world every day with people I hate. I manage.

      Amen, Dave S.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 01 at 10:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. The BBC Symphony Orchestra could do Cage’s 4’33” for them, if they rented out Royal Albert Hall for a night of music.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2006 07 01 at 10:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. But then again: a Saudi cleric in Jan said that “..it is not racist to hate Christians,” and we agued at the time that this claim would be a surprise to human rights campaigners in the West who argue that it is a violation to hate Islam because by default it is racist!
      http://weekbyweek7.blogspot.com/2006/01/ok-to-hate-christians-its-not-racist.html

      Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 07 01 at 10:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. Instead there will be prayer areas, Muslim stalls and all food served will be HALAL.

      And many special Muslim specific activities like: “Self-exploding for Beginners”, “Basic Flying”, “IED’s for Everyone”, “Beheading For Dummies”, and “Insulting Infidel Cartoon’s Identification”!

      Something fun for all ages!

      Posted by rinardman on 2006 07 01 at 11:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Isn’t this just Grand Mufti, that is.

      Will there be rides?

      How cool will the bomb laden (no relation, yet there is)car ride, will be.

      And man, the fun of guess where the IED IS game, huh?

      Hallelujah Praise to allah, the stupid tolerance of the intolerance. Ahmed, this is going to be sooooo easy.

      A rousing end of the day chant of Death to the Infidel.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 01 at 11:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mmmmm!

      Tad concerned about this section on their ROP website that reads:

      “Please state what flammable materials (if any) you will have on your stall, ie, gas bottles, petrol, generators, etc:”

      One wonders what the “etc” might encompass!!

      Posted by Vincent Gerome on 2006 07 01 at 11:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. rinardman

      LOL…and the ever popular…car swarm.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 01 at 11:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. Look on the bright side-they probably brought their own fireworks.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 07 01 at 11:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. I looked into one such event at a USAn park a few years back. I learned that park didn’t have any part in turning potential customers away – rather, they laid on special signage and events welcoming the group in question, but anybody who wanted to pay their way could get into the park. I dunno what the policy at this park is. Might be worth a Zombie-like infiltration.

      Posted by bovious on 2006 07 01 at 11:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. Looks like they’re planning a fun-filled couple of weeks.  What a hoot after the week-long 9-11 celebrations, to roll right into Six Flags Over Mecca.  There’ll be Exploding Bumper Cars, Donkey and Camel heavy-petting zoo, and the Take off the infidel’s head with one whack and win a hooka game.  Ah yes, a grand old time for one and all.
      What in the hell is THIS UK?

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 01 at 11:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. Texas Bob

      What in the hell is THIS UK?

      We typically call it dhimmitude, don’t know what the Brits call it. Just don’t screw with their soccer and ‘they’ seem happy as pigs in shit….:).

      Six Flags over Mecca…great line and an excellent candidate for rotating title of the year award at LGF….lol.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 01 at 11:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, those are my clients you’re talking about! Al-Paco ibn Moolah, Ltd., offers a wide range of carnival entertainment for strict Muslims: dunk the infidel; ring the Israeli settler; Omar Guesses Your Wives’ Aggregate Weight; the Fire-Your-AK-47-into- the-Ceiling shooting gallery. Plus a unique freak show, featuring the two-headed Christian and the Bearded Buddist. And don’t miss the belly dancer (perfectly orthodox and safe for the whole family: his name is Ivor).

      Posted by paco on 2006 07 01 at 11:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. So whose fault is it again that they haven’t assimilated?  Of course, no member of the religion of peace and tolerance will show up!

      Posted by Patricia on 2006 07 01 at 11:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Muslims-only, huh? You know, we have Christian theme parks over here, but they aren’t restricted to Christians. In fact, non-Christians are probably quite welcome. You’d think that Muslims, so concerned as they always seem to be about their public image, would be glad to have non-Muslims see that they can have fun too. Is this their way of saying that when they go about converting, they prefer to do that by the sword?

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 07 01 at 12:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. This mandates a Christians Only Day, even by EU standards. And what is a Gay and Lesbo Day anyway? Since when don’t gays and Lesbians have a good time when straights are around? In fact, isn’t that where they get their biggest kicks? Freaking out straights? What the hell are they going to do at a theme park without heteros to harass and outrage? In fact, if gays and Lesbians really want to have some fun, they should bust into the Muslims Only Day and broaden the minds of the Islamics by wearing some of their most outrageous and revealing fashions. Now that would be so cool! And it would go a long way in promoting understanding and tolerance, too. Who’s not for that?

      Posted by ekw on 2006 07 01 at 12:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, those are my clients you’re talking about! Al-Paco ibn Moolah, Ltd., offers a wide range of carnival entertainment for strict Muslims:

      Ahhh yes, the infamous P.TPaco…lol.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 01 at 12:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yeesh, prayer areas and halal food stalls.  And what rides are the burqa-babes allowed on, or will they just have to stand and watch, as they seem to do at the beach, as the menfolk caper and splash?

      Posted by ushie on 2006 07 01 at 12:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. Muslim women are not allowed on rides, they are rides. And only their husbands are allowed on them.

      Posted by ekw on 2006 07 01 at 01:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Islamic Leisure – Bringing Islam & Leisure together.

      Lessee, no smoking, no alcohol, no gambling, no music and ride areas segregated by sex. Well, so much for fun.

      One of the quarrels I have with Islam (and, to be fair, some others) is that it’s not enough for the individual or group to abstain from forbidden pleasures, we all must abstain. Or perhaps more accurately, unlike Christians and Jews, for whom life is a constant struggle to triumph over temptation and how well one does in that struggle is a measure of his character, to follow Islam one is required to remove any source of temptation from his daily life. The Christian-Judaeo God regards we humans His special creation and fully capable of making moral, virtuous and just choices. Apparently the Muslim God regards his human creations profane pigs and whores unworthy of choice and incapable of shunning that which is forbidden. Therefore, if Muslims are to be virtuous and obedient, the choice to be otherwise must be eliminated and all temptation must be removed from their path (and consequently our path). Frankly, imo, that doesn’t say much for Allah or his human servants.

      When there’s a Straight WASP Fun Day somewhere, give me a jingle.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 01 at 02:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #27 El Cid,

      P. T. Paco

      Thanks for the belly-laugh.  Now get over here and clean up this mess.

      Posted by saltydog on 2006 07 01 at 02:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Anyone has the right to make a like contract, but the context of this one is what makes it stand out like a siren screaming “This is what all your collectivist remedies for racism have wrought”.

      Posted by saltydog on 2006 07 01 at 02:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Now, if I had an evil, violent and vengeance prone mind, I’d be sayin to myself, “self! looky here! what a target rich cluster they’s gone and made!”

      But, I’m a nice guy so I’m sure such a thought will never occur to me.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 07 01 at 02:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. Kyda.

      Sounds rather like the two other great religions of the day-Liberalism and Enviornmentalism.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 07 01 at 03:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Kyda, do you ever think The Handmaid’s Tale would have been truthier with fundie Muslims as the villains?  I do…

      Posted by ushie on 2006 07 01 at 04:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. Or perhaps more accurately, unlike Christians and Jews, for whom life is a constant struggle to triumph over temptation and how well one does in that struggle is a measure of his character, to follow Islam one is required to remove any source of temptation from his daily life… Therefore, if Muslims are to be virtuous and obedient, the choice to be otherwise must be eliminated and all temptation must be removed from their path

      Bingo.

      Where the Christians have their fair share of uptight bluenoses who can’t abide the thought that someone, somewhere might be having fun, it sometimes seems that the muzzies are nothing but uptight bluenoses. And like all uptight bluenoses, any opportunity to slip brings the danger of grotesque overindulgence. Which is why you see so many good Wahabbi Saudi princes in Las Vegas snorting blow off of hookers’ asses with $100 bills.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 01 at 05:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Now, a good libertarian agnostic like me is quite satisfied licking peanut butter ice cream from a girlfriend’s navel after a day at Knott’s Berry Farm.

      Everything in moderation, folks.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 01 at 05:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ushie—It’s been a long time since I read that particular anti-anti-feminist diatribe, but, yes, I agree that general truthiness would have been better served with fundie Muslim villains. I guess Atwood, who as I recall studied Iran, thought that fundamentalist Christianity and fundamentalist Islam were but two cuts from the same bolt of cloth and we were doomed to go the way of the Ayatollahs if we continued down the Ronald Reagan/fundamentalist Christian/anti-ERA path. Just a burka away. Such foolishness. Is Handmaid’s Tale still being taught in high school?

      Which is why you see so many good Wahabbi Saudi princes in Las Vegas snorting blow off of hookers’ asses with $100 bills.

      Dave, although I’ve been to Vegas often, I’ve missed seeing that. I’d sure like to, though. Where do the Saudi princes hang out?

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 01 at 05:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey .. don’t forget.
      You will be able to probably get free tastes (with an option to purchase) Camel urine.  Should be a great day had by all.

      Posted by LuvDaKartoons on 2006 07 01 at 05:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. Both will close their doors to the general public for a day in September to welcome gay men and women over 18.

      Gay men and women over 18 – on the same day? That’s kind of useless, don’tcha think? Unless it’s to give the women a day when men won’t hit on them.

      Of course, the Muslim day is for women who want men to hit them.

      Posted by Muslihoon on 2006 07 01 at 06:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. The Saudis go to Bahrain these days, don’t they? Or to visit their pal the sultan in Brunei? Vegas may only be on the itinerary for the lesser members of the intensely corrupt Saud family.

      Posted by ekw on 2006 07 01 at 06:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. #23. I don’t know how many Christians there are in Tasmania, but I reckon that’s where you got your two-headed freak from.

      Not sure about the Buddhist, though.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 07 01 at 06:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Shoot, don’t they always have Paris? What do they need this for?

      Posted by Harry Eagar on 2006 07 01 at 08:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Just an innocent business arrangement huh?  Well heck then, go to Riyahd and try to rent a venue for a Christians-only event and see who “gives you the business”.

      Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 07 01 at 08:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. #27: Remember, El, there’s a sucker born every minute, and as the time-honored call of the muezzin says, “There is only one God, and Mohammed gets the profit”. And there’s no reason that a halal outfit like Al-Paco ibn Moolah, Ltd. (dealer in Muslim carnivals and barbeque pork rinds) shouldn’t profit as well.

      Now, kiddies, all aboard “The Sack of Constantinople-Coaster”!!!

      Posted by paco on 2006 07 01 at 09:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Funparkistan, Sha’riristan.

      Posted by Barrie on 2006 07 01 at 09:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. #25 Andrea,
      I’m sure the Muslims would let we infidels in but they are afraid of infidel cooties, sort of like a ten-year-old boy’s attitude toward girls.

      Paco, will you be going public with that company any time soon?

      Muslims only day; sounds like a blast.

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 07 01 at 09:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. #47: Paco, will you be going public with that company any time soon?

      As soon as the Securities and Exchange Commission and Interpol learn to take the bigger, wider view of investing, I’ll be taking it public. Meanwhile, I’m laying low in Rio, wearing a false Assyrian beard, dark glasses, drinking espresso in an out-of-the-way cafe, and issuing commercial paper via scribbled promises on napkins to visionary Brazilian investors.

      Posted by paco on 2006 07 01 at 10:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. We’re trying to get Muslims to go to this day because they wouldn’t normally go somewhere like Alton Towers. We’re trying to integrate Muslims into the wider community. People can come down and see the way we live

      this is the point, how can they see how ‘we’ live if ‘we’ are not there nor our food?

      There will need to be few changes to the names of various rides:

      [Everything that was in the broken “strike” tags has been deleted. Too bad, it seemed to be clever stuff. The Management.]
      Posted by Nic on 2006 07 01 at 10:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. Nic, you have to close the strike key.

      Posted by paco on 2006 07 01 at 10:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Michael

      “…let us infidels in…”, otherwise, yeah.

      Courtesy of your Neighborhood Pedant Jihadi Watch

      Posted by ekw on 2006 07 01 at 11:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. They will not throw up in the rotor inshallah

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 01 at 11:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. But if they do throw up, the vomit will be halal.

      Posted by ErnieG on 2006 07 01 at 11:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Will it be as much fun as Egypt’s Fantazy Land, voted Crappiest Theme Park Ever? Read it and weep…

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 07 02 at 12:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Would Christians in the West even be permitted to hold such a day?
      Putting up a sign, “Christians Only” would just about guarentee a huge moaning whine to the discrimination mob, failing that-a bomb!
      Everyone is equal but some sure are more equal than others.

      Posted by waussie on 2006 07 02 at 12:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think the whole idea of “Christians Only Day” would be totally the opposite to the beliefs of most Christians.

      Come all ye that are heavy-laden? Y’know?

      maybe with like hot dogs and beer and Coke and frisbees, or not, whatever, just come on over. The New Testament is full of that kind of thing. So like a “Christians Only Day” would be… like…soooo assy.  Totally.

      Just sayin’.

      Posted by ekw on 2006 07 02 at 02:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. How ironic is it that there’s a ride at this theme park called “Submission” The blurb at the park’s websiteexplains: A disorientating double inverter to steal your sense of up and down. Don’t try to fight it: submit or lose your mind. This ride won’t be satisfied until it has you screaming at the ground below.

      Bit redundant really.

      Posted by Srekwah on 2006 07 02 at 04:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. #54-Dan Lewis—Are you sure they aren’t putting us on over there at Theme Park Review? That place looks more like a theme park graveyard where old rides go to die. There weren’t even any people around (not that that’s surprising). Gad.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 02 at 09:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. My British-to-Normal-English dictionary is failing me, I think…what the heck are “Muslim stalls” supposed to be? Is that where they sell suicide bomber utilities or something?

      Posted by PW on 2006 07 02 at 12:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dan Lewis, that park is about as well-tended as you’d expect where the admission is $1.50. Egyptians seem a little unclear on the concept of capitalism.

      PW, I suspect ‘Muslim stalls’ must be toilets with just a hole in the corner rather than a porcelain throne. I understand the French transport system is providing Muslim stalls in its public comfort stations.

      Posted by Harry Eagar on 2006 07 02 at 09:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. Why would Muslims need to go to a theme park, when they all live in Fantasy land.

      Posted by Howzat on 2006 07 03 at 02:58 AM • permalink

 

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