Rapture soon to be upon us

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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:30 am

An apocalyptic trend emerges …

November 17, 2004: Virgin Mary Appears in Toast

December 3, 2004: Jesus Appears in Dental X-Ray

February 28, 2005: Pope Appears In Hospital Window

Posted by Tim B. on 03/15/2005 at 08:02 AM
    1. March 12 2005: The whore of Babylon (Margo) re appears.

      Posted by Nic on 03/15 at 08:17 AM • permalink


    1. March 10, 2005: Michael Jackson appears in pyjamas

      Posted by rexie on 03/15 at 08:32 AM • permalink


    1. April 16, 2005: Someone finds a way to link those numbers in with either 666, 777 or 490, and starts a cult.

      April 17, 2005: Tim Blair takes credit for someone else forming a new religion.

      Posted by Leigh on 03/15 at 09:10 AM • permalink


    1. May 5, 2005: Bill Clinton appears in sorority house window…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 03/15 at 09:22 AM • permalink


    1. April 8, 2005: Michael Moore blots out sun

      Posted by bc on 03/15 at 10:10 AM • permalink


    1. October 2004 Plagues of Lefties

      Posted by Rob Read on 03/15 at 10:19 AM • permalink


    1. If you go to the website where additional information is available about “Jesus Appears in Dental X-Ray”, you will see the dentist took an x-ray of the guys chest.  Has a dentist ever x-rayed your chest?

      I did read about a local chiropractor who is being investigated for giving some of his more comely patients breast and pelvic exams…

      Posted by Ioxymoron on 03/15 at 10:53 AM • permalink


    1. P.S.- The rapture happened last week, but it’s being kept from the general public by the Zionist-controlled media…

      Posted by Ioxymoron on 03/15 at 10:59 AM • permalink


    1. Ioxymoron — I believe his defense was, “Hey! There’s bones back there too, ya know…”

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 03/15 at 11:13 AM • permalink


    1. I did read about a local chiropractor who is being investigated for giving some of his more comely patients breast and pelvic exams…

      Thats nothing. We have a dentist here in Charlotte who was accused for injecting his semen into patients mouths.

      Hall, testifying before the dental board, denied having improper sexual contact with his patients.

      “I have never injected semen in any patient’s mouth,” he said. “I never would. I’ve got a 10-year-old daughter. That whole concept is so beyond me.”

      Hall said he was collecting his semen in the syringes because he was tracking the side efforts of Propecia, a hair-growth drug. Potential side effects include low sperm count and diminished semen.

      Hall said he collected his semen after-hours in an office bathroom because he didn’t want to do it at home. He said he planned to take the vials to his doctor.

      The accusations against Hall became public in November 2003 after several employees said they had become suspicious of his behavior. The employees collected five syringes from Hall’s office and asked a veterinarian to test the contents, which turned out to be semen.

      The employees contacted police, who searched Hall’s office and found more syringes containing similar material. DNA tests showed it was Hall’s semen.

      The dental board, which licenses and regulates dentists, rarely revokes a license. Hall is among only four dentists whose licenses the board has revoked in the past five years.

      Assistant District Attorney Maloney, who attended the dental examiners board hearings, has been investigating the allegations against Hall. He would not talk about the investigation or the charges he intends to seek against the dentist.

      Full story

      Posted by Crusader on 03/15 at 11:25 AM • permalink


    1. I’m not a guy, so let me ask those of the male persuasion out there …

      How likely are you to put something sharp and pointy anywhere near your little buddy, let alone the business end?

      Posted by Achillea on 03/15 at 02:08 PM • permalink


    1. Don’t forget that Maureen Dowd said all the liberals were going up in the rapture, while “conservative hypocrites will be left behind.”
      If being left behind means a world without Dowd, then let me stay!:-)

      Posted by marcus on 03/15 at 02:36 PM • permalink


    1. auburnite—“Heaven for the climate, Hell for the posting…”

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 03/15 at 02:59 PM • permalink


    1. This reminds me of the Six Feet Under episode on HBO where a devoutly Christian woman thought she was witnessing the Rapture when a truckload of inflated sex dolls wrecked and spilled its dolls into the air, whereupon the woman rushed out of her car screaming to be included and was promptly hit by a car.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 03/15 at 04:13 PM • permalink


    1. Auburnite – MoDo might actually have a point, but the determining factor there would be the ‘hypocrite’ part.  In any case, she (and we) would do better to ask, “If they are, in fact, at fault for not doing as they say we ought, maybe what they say actually makes sense?  Maybe I should try it?”

      Achillea – If you really want to know, I can email you.  It’s not an explanation for the delicate.

      Posted by Nightfly on 03/15 at 05:42 PM • permalink


    1. March 12, 2005: Elvis Wheat Thin doesn’t reach reserve bid on ebay.

      Posted by TJ on 03/15 at 10:47 PM • permalink


    1. Ladies Institute – Local Butcher Speaks on Tongues.
      Ad on Ebay: Healing Radio For Sale!
      Easter News: Rolling Stones Sighted At Cemetery.

      Posted by blogstrop on 03/16 at 02:44 AM • permalink


    1. UN Press Conference, April 1, 2005

      0900:  Kofi Anan apologizes for the UN’s incompetence and corruption causing so much misery, disease, torture, and death in the world.

      0915:  Kofi smiles and states “APRIL FOOLS!”

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 03/16 at 05:23 AM • permalink


    1. Duh.

      Pope joke.


      Posted by ilibcc on 03/16 at 06:25 AM • permalink


    1. I hope the rapture happens soon.  Just think, free cars.  Sweet!

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 03/16 at 11:50 AM • permalink


    1. Joe – well, that and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  I think MadTV did a sketch about the Rapture snarling rush-hour traffic in LA.  “Pestilence on the Freeway has backed up commuters for miles; take the 45 instead!” or some such.

      This reminds me of the story from Florida a few years back, supposedly the Virgin Mary’s silhouette popped up on the side of a glass office building, leading to some great doggerel:

      You better watch out
      You better come clean
      And get your sorry butt
      Down I-19
      The Virgin Mary’s comin’ to town

      Posted by Nightfly on 03/16 at 01:09 PM • permalink


  1. What’s next?

    ‘Proctologist sees Jesus where the sun don’t shine’.

    I’ll never understand the limitation these people put on the Messiah. He can appear on moldy bread and x-rays but can’t quite master a personal appearance.

    Posted by Dorian on 03/16 at 07:38 PM • permalink