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Last updated on June 24th, 2017 at 10:15 am
The LA Times reports:
Death by car could be a major contributor to the decline of many amphibian species …
They shouldn’t drive so fast, then. Bonneville is swarming with the speed-crazed mutant bastards.
I blame Mr. Toad. He’s a bad influence.
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 04 21 at 05:02 PM • permalink
- Me and Archie: a Tale
of Two AmphibiansI walks me best pal Archie
Down to the racing track
And then I says to Archie,
‘Let’s you and me attack.’‘Them shiny screamin’ creatures
Is each a death machine,
They’s gonna dry the sea up
And make the desert green.’‘If both of us, we run out,
And sacrifice two lives,
Might be we can cause a crash
To save our kids and wives.’Archie, rest him, he’s a saint,
Martyred for the planet;
Now I gotta break it to
His lovely widow Janet.
Me and Archie: a Tale
of Two AmphibiansI walks me best pal Archie
Down to the racing track
And then I says to Archie,
‘Let’s you and me attack.’‘Them screamin’ speedy creatures
Is each a death machine,
They’s gonna dry the sea up
And make the desert green.’‘If both of us, we run out,
And sacrifice two lives,
Maybe we can cause a crash
To save our kids and wives.’Archie, rest him, he’s a saint,
Martyred for the planet;
Now I gotta break it to
His lovely widow Janet.
- If you’ll settle for racing chelonians, come visit me in Los Angeles. I’ll take you to Brennan’s Pub for the Thursday night turtle races—as the turtle race announcer himself calls it, “The stupidest sport in America!”
Actually, you might be surprised. The younger turtles* can really put on some speed!*Technically, of course, the chelonians being raced are tortoises, not turtles.Posted by Mary in LA on 2008 04 21 at 08:19 PM • permalink
#11 LAT shouldn’t be issued writer’s licenses till the evolve into at least a lower primate!
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 04 21 at 10:23 PM • permalink
I have been looking in vain for “amphibian tires” The frogs get so thick that the road gets slippery, then with the seagulls and crows hit while feasting on the froggy road kill, and the skunks and racoons eating the birds, and the Pennsylvania Bitters eating the roadkill. It is a right mess. I have to give the greenies this one.
BTW, LOL @ the inimitable Paco’s “Godribbit!” 🙂
Posted by Mary in LA on 2008 04 22 at 04:36 PM • permalink
The main problems are that (a) amphibians aren’t tall enough to see over the dashboard, and (b) the seatbelts aren’t scaled to size. They are also easily distracted by flies and other insects that occasionally get into the car.
Martha: Herbie, you just missed the Woodbridge exit.
Herbie (Gulping down fly and smacking lips): Huh?
Martha: You’ve also crossed the median right into the path of that big semi.
Herbie: Godribbit! *Screeeeech – CRASH!*