Quotes of 2005 – july

Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 07:05 am

* “When it comes to Bush, we’re dealing with a cretan. The problem with cretans in a democracy is that other cretans vote for them, and the size of this demographic is not to be underestimated. The Dems need someone who can turn the cretan vote.”—when it comes to academic Chris Sheil, we’re dealing with a cretin

* “We want this to be a thank-you to the celebrities who are giving up their time and energies.”—Nicole Cashman, whose firm assembled goodie bags for anti-poverty Live 8 performers. The bags included Hugo Boss suits ($1,000), XM satellite radios and subscriptions ($655), Gibson guitars ($2,600), and Bertolucci watches (up to $7,900)

* “To a publisher, lunatics are one ideal type, to be distinguished from cretans, fools and morons. Most of us are a reasonable mix of these categories, says Eco, but publishers sort according to the pure types. Cretans press ice-cream cones into their foreheads and walk into revolving doors the wrong way, and are of no interest. Fools don’t say that cats bark, like cretans do, they talk about cats when everyone else is talking about dogs. This means fools are always in demand to break social ice, but as they have no creativity, they’re also of no interest to publishers. Morons are a publisher’s nightmare. Anyone can spot a fool, not to mention a cretan, yet morons are tricky.”—more cretanic magic from Cretan Chris

* “What a greedy, graceless, bumptious capitalist pig he has proved to be.”—Bob Ellis on freed hostage Douglas Wood

* “Simple maths suggests that with the population of the world around 6 billion, United States expenditure on defence at around 370 Billions it is feasible that if every man, woman and child in the world were to receive as a gift from the United States 1 Billion dollars each, there would still be 364 Billion dollars left over for defence spending.”—Andrew Denton viewer Lisa Richards solves global poverty, despite being too poor herself to buy a calculator

* “The Metropolitan Police at Scotland Yard say they believe the explosion on the bus was caused by a suicide bomber. If that is confirmed, it will be the first time a suicide bomber has struck in Britain.”—news report, July 7

* “You threaten us, try to kill us? Kill and injure some of us? Fuck you, sunshine. We’ll not be having that.”—British blogger Tim Worstall

* “The pubs are all packed out, people sipping their pints happily, all a tad pissed off, but basically fine with it. Nice one, Al Quaeda – you profess to be from a teetotal religion, and you’ve given the pub trade a massive mid-week boost.”—London-based Europhobia

* “The choice for Britons now is whether they wish to be Australians post-Bali or Spaniards post-Madrid. That shouldn’t be a tough call.”—Mark Steyn

* “In a country where the conservative Christian evangelical movement has the sort of political power evangelical groups in Australia can only dream of, the most popular member of the Bush cabinet, according to the polls, is Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, a single, black woman.”—The Age’s Michael Gawenda thinks this to be something of a paradox

* “I expected more of Kim Beazley in response to the London bombings than calling the terrorists ‘sub-human filth’ … Surely it is time for a more intelligent analysis.”—Paul Durham writes a letter to The Australian

* “In describing them as ‘sub-human filth who must be captured and eliminated’, Kim Beazley has lowered himself to their moral level. No matter how repugnant their actions, no human being should be described in that way.”—another letter-writer, William R. Stent, is upset

* “Who I am is a human being with divinity within and an immense capacity to love and express compassion and kindness and justice.”—former human shield Donna Mulhearn. She’s also modest

* “Terrorists.”—the BBC’s initial description of the terrorists who attacked London. This was later altered in online transcripts to avoid offending terrorists

* “al-Qaeda conceived 9/11 in some large part as a punishment on the US for supporting Ariel Sharon’s iron fist policies toward the Palestinians. Bin Laden had wanted to move the operation up in response to Sharon’s threatening visit to the Temple Mount, and again in response to the Israeli attack on the Jenin refugee camp, which left 4,000 persons homeless.”—confused terrorism apologist Juan Cole. The Jenin operation took place seven months after 9/11

* “I don’t feel your pain. I don’t have any sympathy for you. I can’t feel for you because I think you’re a non-believer.”—Mohammed Bouyeri to Anneke van Gogh, widow of the man Bouyeri murdered

* “If the statement is a guide to the identity of the attackers, this bombing could not have emanated from the British Muslim community.”—Juan Cole

* “This is a horror. In a column written June 28, I asserted that more Iraqis (civilians) had now been killed in this war than had been killed by Saddam Hussein over his 24-year rule. WRONG. Really, really wrong … I could hardly have been more wrong, no matter how you count Saddam’s killing of civilians.”—Molly Ivins apologises, again

* “As a Jew who doesn’t believe in the concept of a Jewish state – a fundamentally undemocratic and colonialist idea from a bygone era – reception to such ideas within the Jewish community is usually vitriolic, bigoted, racist and downright pathetic. Australian Jews, generally speaking, are incapable of hearing the true reality of their beloved homeland and its barbaric actions.”—Antony Loewenstein

* “What has been fascinating, though, is the way Blair has responded to this attack. Unlike Bush, Blair has not immediately looked to invade someone.”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Richard Ackland

* “My readers are interested in knowing whether Guardian newspapers were aware of Mr. Aslam’s affiliations before he was hired.”—a letter from Scott Burgess to the Guardian’s op-ed editor following publication of an item by Dilpazier Aslam, member of pro-terror group Hizb Ut Tahrir

* “No longer will we refer to suicide bombers or anyone else in Iraq who targets and kills children and other innocent civilians as ‘insurgents’ … To call them ‘insurgents’ insults every legitimate insurgency in modern history. They are terrorists.”—the Dallas Morning News takes a stand

* “There exists the possibility that the British government carried out this work, like the possibility [of American involvement] in the September 11 affair, since they themselves stand to benefit the most.”—Ayatollah Ahmad Jannati of Tehran University

* “British Muslims Fear Repercussions Over Tomorrow’s Train Bombing.”—Angus Jung pens the perfect Guardian headline

* “A reporter asked the Australian Prime Minister a dumb ass question that indicated blame should be placed, as usual, on the victims due to the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Howard hit it out of the park in blunt, no nonsense language. He pointed out that 9/11, Bali and other atrocities had been committed PRIOR to Iraq and that in fact, OBL had tied his hatred of Australia to the East Timor operation.”—Kathy from Austin reviews a John Howard press conference

* “An apocalyptic Bushworld.”—Maureen Dowd describes Australia

* “On July 7 three trains and a bus in London killed 56 people – including the four suspected suicide bombers – and wounded 700.”—an AAP item blames public transport

* “Our Prime Minister has another birthday on Tuesday – his 66th. Expect he and Janette will likely spend it, in front of the television cameras, with Australian forces from Iraq flown to Oman for the occasion. You can bet they won’t go to Iraq itself. Much too dangerous.”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Alan Ramsey. Howard arrived in Iraq within three days

*“That’s the pesky thing about these laws that show almost zero tolerance for religious and racial intolerance: they can be turned against decent white folk.”—David Marr on the charges faced by Christian preachers Danny Nalliah and Daniel Scot, neither of whom are white

* “The sharia is very clear about it, the punishment for homosexuality, bestiality or anything like that is death. We don’t make any excuses about that, it’s not our law — it’s the Koran.”—US-born Muslim preacher Sheikh Khalid Yasin, who wants to live in Australia

* “The imam told the students that the Jews were putting poison in the bananas and they should not eat them.”—a former teacher at Werribee Islamic College passes on important dietary advice