Quotes of 2005 – december

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Last updated on March 5th, 2018 at 01:45 pm

* “Whether or not the turkey was fake has little bearing on its purpose as metaphor.”—Jeff Alworth hits the fake-but-true button

* “Oh, I would do him for hours and hours and hours.”—Barbara Walters threatens Saddam Hussein with a punishment worse than execution

* “Last June, Sheikh Taj Aldin Al-Hilali, Grand Mufti of Australia, succeeded in securing the release of Douglas Wood, an Australian contractor taken hostage in Iraq.”—Islam Online rewrites history

* “By removing Saddam, we undid the glue that held Iraqi society together.”—Scott Ritter, sniffing glue

* “Thousands of people ignored frigid temperatures to lead a worldwide day of protest against global warming.”—Canada’s Globe & Mail

* “I’ll tell you what, it was a great piece of journalism.”—Alan Ramsey defends a column in which he repeated incorrect claims that James Watt had foretold of Christ’s return

* “I ask forgiveness from all Iraqis, including the one who killed my son.”—Mother Sheehan

* Bartlweet, Bartlweet,
It’s not healthy,
It’s not sweet,
Start your day with Bartlweet!—Evil Pundit riffs on an alternative spelling of “Bartlett” provided by Margo Kingston

* “Sometimes it’s hard not to feel that what you’re doing is pointless and irrelevant.”—Jodi Rose, who travels the world recording sounds made by bridges

* “Webdiary’s closure marks the end of my career in journalism. It’s time to move on.”—Margo Kingston, who moved on from journalism some time ago

* “As much as it pains me to do it, speed and speed alone is not sufficient to establish reckless driving.”—Nebraska judge John Steinheider, ruling in the case of a motorcyclist pursued at over 120 mph

* “I really feel I’m carrying the whole world on my shoulders.”—Mother Sheehan rues her gigantic swollen head

* “If you look where the news media is, it’s down very low at the polls. If you want to get into public opinion polls, people in that business are right down near the bottom. You know that. Yeah, does it bother you?”—Donald Rumsfeld to Jim Lehrer after Lehrer had asked: “I looked at the public opinion polls the last, recent ones that mention you. And you don’t come out very well in terms of the public. I couldn’t find one where the public had approved of the job you were doing, less than 50 percent. Does that bother you?”

* “David Hicks is the Australian his country, his Government and the major political parties have abandoned.”—Alan Ramsey weeps for an anti-Semitic killbot who abandoned his country

* “The more time goes by, the more it strikes me that the fake turkey is an excellent metaphor—well, one of many excellent metaphors—for this administration … Not to mention that plastic is made from petroleum.”—cartoonist Jen Sorensen

* “Went to cronulla today… Was great, only saw 3 leb’s… and they were being taken away in ambulances…lol.”—a unit of beach trashcelebrates a day of idiocy

* “Anti-Arab rioters smash cars, windows in Sydney.”—mistaken CNN headline; the car-smashers were, in fact, “men of Middle Eastern appearance”

* “Inexplicably, caucasians were not the only targets.”—an ABC TV reporter can’t understand why a rampaging Lebanese mob didn’t spare Asians

* “Australia does not have a race relations problem. We have a clash of cultures and that’s a big difference—and maybe the problem is certain forms of Islam.”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Andrew West, in a post he later removed—and then replaced

* “Wouldn’t it be easier to ship both sets of thugs off to some faraway island where drunken violence and cop-bashing are acceptable cultural norms? The UK perhaps?”—Muscular Liberals finds a solution to Australia’s beachside troubles

* “Funny how the Cronulla incident is said by some to damage Australia’s image, while the participation of an Australian (now also British) citizen in a training group of murdering, illegal scumbags is not.”—commenter blogstrop

* “Here’s a thought. We should be able to discuss homosexuality, Islam and pretty much everything else in the same carefree way Guardian columnists damn Bush’s America as ‘neo-fascist.’”—Mark Steyn

* “They’ve tortured us around the world … n humiliated us but its not gona happen anymore! Lebanese unite as 1 on the 18-12-05 prepare for war send this msg 2 every arab u know.”—text message from a member of the United Humiliated Lebanese

* “I don’t know why I’ve done this. I’m a Muslim, I was fasting, the last thing I should ever have done is eat something.”—Mohammed Sarfraz, charged with assault after biting off part of a security guard’s ear

* “These days, whenever something goofy turns up on the news, chances are it involves a fellow called Mohammed.”—Mark Steyn

* “It’s quite a bizarre thing, because the last thing you want to suggest to people is that it would be a good idea to have dirty air, but as far as climate change is concerned, that’s right.”—Peter Cox of Dorset’s Centre for Ecology and Hydrology points out the upside to air pollution

* “Few countries today can boast such a record of fair treatment of all its citizens, regardless of race, religion and origin, both in law and in practice. And none of those countries are situated in Asia, be it west, east, central, south or southeast.”—Razi Azmi defends Australia in Pakistan’s Daily Times

* “I’m just all about winning.”—Markos Moulitsas Zuniga of Daily Kos, whose record suggests the opposite

* “The story of the interlibrary loan request for Mao’s Little Red Book that produced an interview by the Department of Homeland Security turns out to be a hoax. However, it is one of those hoaxes that bespeaks a reality.”—Professor Juan Cole bespeaks fake-but-truism

* “Two thousand and five has completely proved to me my ineffectiveness as a cartoonist. Everything I’ve tried to stop or change hasn’t.”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Cathy Wilcox smells the coffee

* “Bullshit!”—Kerry Packer responds to the view that one can’t help but admire the courage of the 9/11 attackers

(Check out the quotes of 2003 and 2004 here)

Posted by Tim B. on 01/07/2006 at 01:13 AM
    1. “Inexplicably, caucasians were not the only targets.”

      Reminds me of:

      * “My name is Vasquez, you moron!”
      Shouted by a friend of mine at the thugs who took out her car’s back window with a rock during the Rodney King riots.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 01 07 at 02:58 AM • permalink


    1. Great stuff Tim…thanks for all your good work over the past year!

      Posted by Anthony_ on 2006 01 07 at 03:03 AM • permalink


    1. “Bullshit!” is probably the most trenchant reply to the ‘suicide bombers are brave’ silliness, but Ralph Peters provides a bit more elaboration.

      Money quote: Suicide bombers are recruited from the ranks of troubled souls, from those who find mundane reality overwhelming and terrifying. The suicide bomber longs for release from the insecurities of his daily experience. He is fleeing from life every bit as much as he’s rushing toward paradise. He dreads women, sin and doubt.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 01 07 at 03:04 AM • permalink


    1. #3 Achillea:
      I think the article slightly understates the impact of religious fanaticism and how people get sucked in to do the work of others intent on changing the world for their own perversions … is it not unlike one approach in the drug debate, let’s go after the drug barons rather than the drug users … I don’t think we’re doing all that well going after the terrorism barons.  Just a thought.

      Posted by Stevo on 2006 01 07 at 04:06 AM • permalink


    1. Oh, I agree, Stevo (though I’m all for capping the terrorist equivalent of speed freaks, too).  Peters’ assessment just struck me as quite appropriate to the ‘brave bomber’ canard.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 01 07 at 04:13 AM • permalink


    1. Tim, I too echo Anthony’s sentiment. Thank you for the effort you put in to expose the corruption, intellectually dishonest journalists and the idiocy of the left.

      Posted by captain on 2006 01 07 at 05:14 AM • permalink


    1. David Hicks is fast becoming Left journalism’s new Wilfred Burchett.

      That is, don’t expect them to pay any attention to all the obvious treachery – he’s Independent, Persecuted and Misunderstood -and Deserves A New Australian Passport/visa.

      Posted by Barrie on 2006 01 07 at 05:34 AM • permalink


    1. “By removing Saddam, we undid the glue that held Iraqi society together.”—Scott Ritter

      No, Scott, we undid the glue that held the evil henchmen together that gave you a guaranteed job, and lied to you for so long.

      Don’t try politics, Scott, you’re a disaster at it.

      Posted by Barrie on 2006 01 07 at 05:38 AM • permalink


    1. Tim’s link still says “Andrew Bartlweet”.


      It’s 2:00 AM here and I’m probably waking the neighbors with my laughing. So much comedy, and it’s only up to September. Great job, Tim!

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 01 07 at 06:09 AM • permalink


    1. * “I ask forgiveness from all Iraqis, including the one who killed my son.”—Mother Sheehan

      This is the one I just can’t wrap my head around.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 01 07 at 11:58 AM • permalink


    1. #7.Barrie, but he’s white!

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 01 08 at 08:04 AM • permalink


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