Quotes of 2004 – november

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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:29 am

* “One of the Democrats’ greatest weaknesses: their vulnerability to getting knocked off stride by the rush of events, their tendency to fret that all is lost, almost to indulge in it, when the car hits a simple bump in the road.”—Josh Marshall outlines his reasons for voting Republican during a time of war

* “My key prediction in an article published in February this year was this: ‘On Monday, December 20, 2004, the Electoral College will meet and 327 votes will be cast for John Kerry and 211 for George W. Bush.’ Subject to a quite minor revision, that remains my forecast.”—Australian poll wizard Malcolm Mackerras backs horseface in the Presidential horserace

* “When the helicopter carrying the frail old man rose above his ruined compound, I started to cry … I remember how Palestinians admired his refusal to flee under fire. They told me: ‘Our leader is sharing our pain, we are all under the same siege.’ And so was I.”—BBC correspondent Barbara Plett weeps for Yasser Arafat

* “One woman shrieked at the top of her lungs.”—Hollywood reaction to Roger L. Simon’s Republican voting confession

* “The sort of young women you would expect to see jumping out of a cake at a bachelor party.”—author Bill Bryson describes his Bush twins fantasy

* “If you believe, as I do, that America’s best days are ahead of us, then join me tomorrow and change the direction of America.”—John Kerry makes an election eve plea for voters to stick with Bush

* “The president got re-elected by dividing the country along fault lines of fear, intolerance, ignorance and religious rule. He doesn’t want to heal rifts; he wants to bring any riff-raff who disagree to heel.”—New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd had four years to work up a better line

* “There are a lot of long faces today.”—New Yorker editor David Remnick, who really should consider John Kerry’s feelings before speaking

* “George Soro.”—caption typo in the Washington Times. Hey, who wouldn’t be sad after wasting millions on a campaign to oust George W. Bush?

* “I was out last night and I was with some friends I knew, including Val Kilmer, and they looked as if they were going to start crying. It’s an overall landslide for Bush, which is really bizarre.”—British artist Tracey Emin, whose affection for the bizarre should place her in Bush’s camp

* “If another ‘9/11’ does happen – a distinct possibility – then Bush’s re-election credentials are shot to pieces.”—Melbourne Age reader Leonard Smith

* “Could the Guardian and its Operation Clark County be responsible for a second Bush term?”—the BBC’s Kevin Anderson

* “De prezident, he be a racist … de prezident, he got a bug fer killin’ … Seems lak haf’ de country be plumb crazy.”—Alice from Turkey Scratch, one of the multiple personalities inhabiting folksinger Joan Baez

* “Phone sex operator.”—Cathy Seipp’s friend Lewis identifies the one career forever closed to Fox News contributor Susan Estrich

* “This is John Kerry.”—John Kerry in a phone call to Al Gore following Gore’s endorsement of Howard Dean. The line went dead instantly

* “That idea’s so f—ing bad it sounds like something Rove came up with.”—George W. Bush during a staff meeting

* “I am in mourning because of the decision our country has made. I don’t think I’ll be wearing pants for a while.”—18-year-old Western Washington University freshman Riley Sweeney launches a pantsless protest against George W. Bush

* “Don’t blow up Travis County in Texas pleaaaaaaaase.”—one of the tragic appeasers at sorryeverybody.com

* “Here’s a great girl band doing Fleetwood Mac songs.”—a Guantanamo Bay military intelligence officer commences to torture an inmate

* “To say this scheme backfired is to fail to give it proper credit. It ranks right up there with the worst political schemes, ever.”—NRO’s Michael Ledeen on The Guardian’s Operation Clark County

* “Those little bastards betrayed us again.”—Hunter S. Thompson condemns the youth vote

* “There is a lot of grieving and mourning—not unlike the Jewish shiva.”—Manhattan psychologist Bonnie Maslin discusses her devastated Democrat patients

* “Instead of the New Frontier, Karl and W. offer the New Backtier.”—New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd writes from the new craptier

* “All Iraqis were Republicans on election day. We are confident he will finish the job and wipe out terrorists from the region during the next four years.”—Ahmed, an Iraqi in Australia

* “Karl [Rove] was calling states long before the networks did. His grasp of reality was totally uncanny.”—a Bush confidant quoted in Newsweek

* “While the Democrat supporters had right on their side, the Republican supporters were far, far better at fighting dirty … Woe betide any TV reporter who didn’t check his facts properly before claiming that George W didn’t finish his national guard service.”—The Guardian’s Paul Carr, who thinks pointing out factual errors is “fighting dirty”

* “May they go to hell!”—Iraqi soldiers after being told by Ayad Allawi of the need to liberate Fallujah. Allawi’s response: “To hell they will go.”

* “Arafat is in stable condition after dying in a Paris hospital.”—the WSJ’s James Taranto

* “Really? I wonder who’ll get his tea-towel.”—my 93-year-old grandmother, on learning that Yasser had died

* “I don’t know if we’ll survive the next four years … I don’t think the Americans have, on the whole, the faintest idea – and I have to say also I don’t think most Australians do either. But it’s not just the threat from nuclear war. It’s the threat of what’s happening to the environment, the global warming which is occurring rapidly now, to ozone depletion, to species extinction, to deforestation – it’s the whole thing.”—Nobel Peace Prize nominee Dr Helen Caldicott, who thus far has not responded to a $1,000,000,000 bet that humankind will still exist in 2008

* “Here’s a newspaper article on blogs, pointing out that they can be inaccurate. It mentions my name: Dave Berry.”—Dave Barry

* “It has now been two months since CBS President Andrew Heyward promised that the investigation would be over and public in ‘weeks, not months.’”—Glenn Reynolds, waiting for the network to release its Rathergate report

* “If you want to live in the Netherlands, you have to adhere to our rules.”—Dutch immigration minister Rita Verdonk responds to national feeling following the murder of film-maker Theo van Gogh

* “I have decided to leave the CBS Evening News on March 9, 2005.”—Dan Rather, in a memo yet to be precisely dated

* “Latham’s f..king mad; he’s in complete denial.”—a senior Labor figure, quoted in The Bullletin

* “My family is truly sorry that we live in a great country, that we have an abundance of food, and that George Bush beat John Kerry like a rented mule. So, in solidarity with all those sorry individuals, here are five sympathetic head tilts and two very weak power fists.”—reader Chris Joyce celebrates Thanksgiving

Posted by Tim B. on 12/22/2004 at 11:07 PM
    1. This could be quote of the year, from another first-Tuesday-in-November horserace.

      Glen Boss, after riding home Makybe Diva in the 3200 metre Melbourne Cup in torrential rain:

      “I’m just the lucky bastard who’s sitting on her back.”

      Posted by ilibcc on 12/22 at 11:34 PM • permalink


    1. November’s allitterative outburst:-

      Posted by Habib on 12/23 at 12:42 AM • permalink


    1. “I’m just the lucky bastard who’s sitting on her back.”

      Works as a Kerry quote too.

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 12/23 at 09:44 AM • permalink


    1. Tim,

      Is that “This is John Kerry” bit in the right, um…year?

      I have it Dec. 2003.

      Funny stuff all around, though. I just wanna help.

      Posted by the UNPOPULIST on 12/25 at 06:41 PM • permalink


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