Quotes of 2004 – may

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Last updated on March 5th, 2018 at 01:41 pm

* “General Janice Karpinski is a disgrace to the uniform. With friends like her, we don’t need enemies. What a disgusting business. I want the whole lot of them busting rocks in Leavenworth. I bet the guards there know how to conduct themselves like professionals.”—Florida Cracker

* “Mr. Moore should be flown to Iraq and strapped to the side of convoy Humvees. That way, when a roadside bomb goes off, everyone is happy. Soldiers are shielded from the blast by Moore’s largeness, and we are spared any future idiotic and disingenuous pontificating by Moore.”—commenter CCinCali

* “The anniversary of Bush’s declaration of victory looks as good a time as any to date what seems increasingly certain to be a defeat.” —Professor John Quiggin again foresees disaster

* “The US under its present government is a force for evil and perpetual war … The ugly side of being American, the side incapable of empathy with any other culture, has eaten alive any chance of nurturing democracy in Iraq.”—Margo Kingston wonders why so many consider her unbalanced

* “I never saw Tom Brokaw humping an M-60 down the Rio Hato runway next to me.”—anti-Bush cartoonist Micah Ian Wright in a 2002 interview that came to light following his confession that he’d never served, as previously claimed, as an Army Ranger

* “Anyone who voluntarily goes to Afghanistan or Iraq [as a soldier] is fighting for an evil cause under an evil commander in chief. “– Ted Rall (who went to Afghanistan as a cartoonist and is therefore non-evil)

* “I was on Mr. Kerry’s boat in Vietnam. He doesn’t deserve to be commander in chief.”—Swift vet John O’Neill

* “I’m just a good liberal Democrat.”—Ted Rall

* “It seems improbable that Bush will win big. More likely, it’s going to be Kerry in a rout.”—Chuck Todd, editor in chief of National Journal’s Hotline

* “When a beaming Mr. Wolfowitz stopped at my table to greet an admiring Republican, I wanted to snap, ‘Get back to your desk, Mr. Myopia from Utopia!’”—Maureen Dowd. Why doesn’t the New York Times have a drug-testing policy?

* “Bitch Juice.”—Dr. Alice’s suggested name for Wal-Mart’s budget wine label. Among others: ‘Chateau Traileur Doublewide’, ‘Big Red Gulp’, and ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!’

* “In September 2001, the planes smashed into the buildings; today, Lynndie [England] smashes to pieces our entire morality with just one tug on the leash.”—Robert Fisk, doing some tugging of his own

* “Saddam was a good guy and we were the bad guys and we heart him, and he was treating us kindly.”—Iraqi Sarmad Zangna’s sarcastic rejoinder to those more concerned about Abu Ghraib than Saddam’s murderous reign

* “Most Australians are unaware of the good that occurred under Saddam.”—Yvonee Brent in a letter to the Newcastle Herald. So are most Iraqis

* “Perhaps the inmates of Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison should count themselves lucky that in the days after last year’s US-led invasion, one of my press colleagues souvenired the noose from the gallows in the prison west of Baghdad.”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Paul McGeough reveals that looting has a different name when committed by journalists

* “You’d think a former paratrooper would know not to keep kicking his legs on the way down… oh, right. Forgot.”—Jim Treacher on fake Army Ranger Micah Wright’s pathetic excuse-making

* “New allegations of abuse of Iraqi prisoners, accompanied by some of the worst images so far, are overwhelming the White House’s efforts to contain a scandal that is swamping President George Bush’s re-election campaign.”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Paul McGeough

* “Bottom line is, mate, we’re trying to make a profit here.”—staffer Bilal at Lakemba’s Islamic Bookstore, which stocks such titles as ‘Crucifixion – or Cruci-FICTION?’ and ‘The Protocols of the Elders of Zion’

* “What drives American civilians to risk death in Iraq? In this economy, it may be, for some, the only job they can find.”—Dan Rather, who should be looking for a job himself

* “Whenever John Howard is on his feet, answering a question, Latham just trains his yellow-brown cattle dog eyes on him and stares. Utterly motionless, utterly intent, a picture of concentrated aggression. Through the whole of question time, Latham sat impassively, not interjecting as the government punched away to no end, just smiling a little at John Howard. As if to say, ‘Is that the best you can do – old man?’”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Mike Seccombe praises Mark Latham for doing exactly nothing

* “They don’t know how to talk to real people. In fact, they don’t really like real people, a lot of them.”—Michael Moore on the modern Left

* “I am sure that the one who wielded the knife felt Nick’s breath on his hand and knew that he had a real human being there … I am sure that these murderers, for just a brief moment, did not like what they were doing.”—Michael Berg gives considerable benefit of the doubt to the killers of his son Nicholas

* “Not one person knew of Australia’s involvement [in Iraq].”—Tim Dunlop encounters stunning ignorance at a Democrat fund raiser in Washington

* “I was teaching a class on imperialism, and I was delivering all this material that was kind of new and upsetting, and everyone was getting all worked up and upset, and I was getting all worked up and upset, and all of a sudden, all I wanted to do was flash my underwear! It was crazy.”—history professor Elizabeth Eve reveals the moment that inspired an anti-Bush flashing collective

* “Tommy Rodningsby volunteered to make life better in a country far away, in a conflict he could have stayed out of. That was brave, and worth our respect and admiration. Our politicians and pundits are soft and confused, but our professional soldiers stand comparison to anyone.”—Bjorn Staerk on Norway’s first casualty in Afghanistan

* “Last week, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld visited Iraq and, to the cheers of his military audience, defiantly called himself ‘a survivor’ (a word traditionally reserved for those who have lived through the Holocaust or cancer, not for someone enduring political difficulties).”—Time magazine’s Mary Corliss. Other Time writers had previously referred to Bill Clinton as “the ultimate political survivor” and asked: “What makes Clinton a survivor?”

* “In some instances, some are so partisan—even though they’re right in many instances—they’re immediately discredited within the newsroom because of their partisanship.—New York Times public editor Daniel Okrent on those who consider sources rather than facts

* “The war has got to me big time and I need to clear my head.”—Margo Kingston takes a break

* “Using artificial insemination to get pregnant, lesbians are four times more likely to have children than gay men.”—Reuters uncovers a shocking statistic

* “America rapes Islam.”—statement in Arabic from an Imam preaching in Sweden. His interpreter’s translation: “We condemn USA’s torture of Iraqi prisoners”

* “Are you Muslim or Christian?—question asked by al-Qaeda goons as they rampaged through Khobar, killing 25

* “Do not put the champagne on ice yet – there are, after all, five months to go before the election – but it is beginning to look as if Senator John Kerry may have the beating of President George Bush in November.”—editorial in The Guardian

Posted by Tim B. on 12/23/2004 at 07:51 AM
    1. Dowd once used a typewriter. Now she uses a typewronger.

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 2004 12 23 at 10:33 AM • permalink


  1. “The war has got to me big time and I need to clear my head.”

    here, margo, you can use my .38!
    (and they said chivalry was dead…)

    Posted by guinsPen on 2004 12 23 at 01:19 PM • permalink