Quotes of 2004 – june

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Last updated on March 5th, 2018 at 01:40 pm

* “There are no excuses for speeding. I was fortunate that neither myself or anyone else was injured.”—humiliating apology forced out of Collingwood footballer Cameron Cloke after he was caught driving 44 km/h (26 mph) above the speed limit

* “I think we are much closer to Germany now than we ever were to America or Britain.”—teenage French gal Annalise Laguiller, whose nation would have been even closer to Germany had Allied forces not intervened in WWII

* “Please don’t tell me what the Spanish did. So what? Do you seriously think that it will save them from further attacks? No. The weak just get punched in the head. Pacifism lost a long time ago.”—Marek Edelman, the last surviving military leader of the 1943 Warsaw Ghetto uprising

* “I will guarantee you that John Kerry will be president of the United States.”—House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi

* “How sad most the mainstream media is these days.”—Margo Kingston

* “I know you don’t want to be here anymore.”—John Kerry during an underwhelming appearance in Tampa, Florida

* “It would be a disastrous decision for the leader of a great country like Australia to say that we’re pulling out.”—George W. Bush responds to Mark Latham’s “out by Christmas” plan

* “God is great.”—a lunatic’s scream in Paris as the second Jewish victim is stabbed within a week

* “When the old fella said ‘Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!’ I laughed at his blustery naivete, as I did whenever he uttered the phrase ‘Evil Empire.’ Needless to say, I was wrong about that, and he was right, and I’m still ashamed about it.”—Matt Welch

* “Eight years after Mr Reagan left the White House in 1988 he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and his mind deteriorated rapidly.”—the Sydney Morning Herald’s Marian Wilkinson. Reagan was in fact diagnosed in 1994, six years after leaving the White House

* “I’m a Muslim, help me, I’m a Muslim, help me.”—BBC Middle East reporter Frank Gardner, shot in Riyadh

* “John Howard can’t believe his luck.”—former Labor minister Barry Cohen on the ALP’s offer to provide a guaranteed seat to Peter Garrett

* “I’m hoping that [Garrett] will take up Labor’s offer to join our team. He’s got convictions.”—Mark Latham. Other Labor identities with convictions include Rex Jackson, Andrew Theophanous, Keith Wright, Brian Burke, and Bill D’Arcy.

* “Make a conscious decision to not break the law for a day.”—the Australian Prisoners Union calls for a strike to protest abuses inside Abu Ghraib. The Gweilo writes: “How utterly diabolical. In retaliation for the abuse of Iraqi detainees, criminals worldwide are threatening to deprive us of … crime.”

* “It’s string time.”—slogan on a British billboard promoting G-strings criticised for being located too close to local mosques

* “If I could, I would vote for Bush. He has done what needed to be done because if Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden had their way, none of us would be around in 10 years.”—New Zealand-born, LA-based model and el primo MILF Rachel Hunter

* “Whether he is right or wrong, George W. Bush is a bummer.”—there’s no pleasing Maureen Dowd

* “I don’t agree with the policies of Republican presidents.”—Peter Garrett would, if only Mark Latham told him so

* “I don’t practise that sort of journalism—at least I hope I don’t.”—Robert Fisk, asked if he belongs in the same club as John Pilger, Noam Chomsky, and Michael Moore

* “Like a caged hamster, Senator John Kerry is restless on the road.” —the New York Times

* “I think you’re on to something, Bernie.”—CNN’s Wolf Blitzer responds to Bernard Shaw’s observation that the media “failed to thoroughly cover and communicate the very essences we’re talking about, possessed by Ronald Reagan. What I’ve been reading and what I’ve been hearing, I did not get during his two terms in office. Or did I miss something?”

* “I’m not that intelligent, mate, let me tell you.”—Australian Formula One driver Mark Webber, to a New York Times reporter

* “I’ve had people drive by my home and shout things out. I think that they question my patriotism because I decided to stand up and have a voice. And I stood up to have a voice because I think that’s the most American thing that you can do.”—Kerry supporter Jon Bon Jovi

* “In Berlin there used to be, like, a communist country and there used to be a big wall between East Berlin and West Berlin, where, like, the people on the West, I suppose, couldn’t come to the East, or was it the other way around, because the East was where the rich people lived and the West was where the poor people lived.”—Australian reality TV contestant Wesley

* “He has no idea of limits or boundaries or decency.”—Joe Conason on Mark Steyn

* “Is this the horror that will finally undo George Bush’s presidency?”—the Independent’s Andrew Gumbel looks on the bright side following US hostage Paul Johnson’s decapitation

* “The way out of the predicament in which we find ourselves, I suggest – guilty inheritors of a land usurped by our deluded, desperate forefathers – is the simple admission that ours is an Aboriginal country. All of it. Every single bit. Try saying it to yourself in the mirror. ‘I live in an Aboriginal country.’—Germaine Greer, who lives in England (Tuscany during winter)

* “One punter put $10,000 on the Coalition the moment he heard Garrett had joined Labor.”—Gerard Duffy of online gambling agency Centrebet

* “Margo reminds me of the Erasmus of Rotterdam during his ‘Basel years’”.—Kingston acolyte Harry Heidelberg. Reader Donna V.’s reply: “Margo reminds me a lot of Crazy Aunt Mabel of Cedar Rapids during her menopause years”

* “It’s hard for such a big man to jump a shark, but he did.”—Jeff Jarvis, after Mike Moore threatened widepread libel suits against critics of his dishonest lying totally worthless film

* “Save the planet. Jump into your car.”—Daily Telegraph editorial following revelations that rail travel was environmentally inefficient

* “If you say anything against what is happening in Iraq for example, you can be arrested. You can’t speak openly on the street anymore. I tell you, everyone is afraid.”—NYC-based immigration lawyer Ihab Tabir, interviewed by the BBC

* “I get a bit worried about certain heavily veiled ladies driving because they have no peripheral vision at all. You can understand why in some countries they are not allowed to drive.”—Germaine Greer’s safety-related defence of Muslim driving bans for women

* “Ashton Kutcher’s no stranger to that predicament.”—Mark Steyn on Lindsay Lohan’s Freaky Friday role, “in which she played a hip young thing who wakes up in a 40-year old’s body”

* “THEY’RE LYING –
WHILE THE GLOBE IS FRYING –
AND THE FISHES ARE DYING IN THE WORLD”—Barbra Streisand’s re-write of People for a John Kerry benefit

* “You’re crazy, Phyllis, you’re just absolutely bonkers.”—president of Washington’s Centre for Strategic Policy Frank Gaffney to Institute for Policy Studies director Phyllis Bennis

Posted by Tim B. on 12/23/2004 at 04:39 AM
    1. Remainder of 2004 quotes to appear shortly.

      Posted by tim on 2004 12 23 at 06:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. “THEY’RE LYING –
      WHILE THE GLOBE IS FRYING –
      AND THE FISHES ARE DYING IN THE WORLD”—Barbra Streisand’s re-write of People for a John Kerry benefit

      Wow—did the South Park guys sue the bitch over this blatant rip-off of Big Gay Al’s movie number?

      Posted by geezer on 2004 12 23 at 07:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. You know, Germaine Greer is right.  It is time that everyone in Britain said “I live in an aboriginal country” and gave it all back to the Picts.  Just have to find some pureblooded Picts first…

      Posted by Mike G on 2004 12 23 at 08:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Brilliant work, Tim!  I can feel my Paypal finger twitching – the time approaches for my end-of-year “encouragement award”.

      TFK

      Posted by TFK on 2004 12 23 at 08:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. * “I’m a Muslim, help me, I’m a Muslim, help me.”—BBC Middle East reporter Frank Gardner, shot in Riyadh

      it’s very painful to be shot in your riyadhs.

      Posted by vinnyboombutts on 2004 12 23 at 09:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’d be interested to know how many Tom, Dick and Harrys at the BBC and other august news organisations are actually Muslims.

      Posted by murph on 2004 12 23 at 01:08 PM • permalink

 

  1. there’s no pleasing Maureen Dowd

    umm… maybe because it’s stuck shut?

    Posted by guinsPen on 2004 12 23 at 02:20 PM • permalink