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Last updated on August 8th, 2017 at 01:54 pm
“When tiny guests stop by,” advises PETA, “turn compassion into action. Plastic trap catches mice alive and unharmed so they can be released outdoors. Be sure to check the trap frequently, so mice won’t suffer needlessly. Each trap is reusable so that you can catch and release each mouse for relocation.” For extra entertainment, relocate them near an owl.
UPDATE. Rick W.:
A mate of mine used to work in a pest control lab in the UK.
PETA “liberated” all their mice and rats one night. Naturally the mice and rats simply sat around outside the building.
The local kites, hawks and owls ate so many they couldn’t fly. In the end they were walking from one meal to the next.
- If you really have a mouse problem, PETA’s idea could turn into a bit of a side income. Pet shops always need snake food suppliers.Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 01 at 10:55 AM • permalink
- “When tiny guests stop by,” for God’s sake! ‘Tiny guests’ at my house are a friends kids: mice are nasty rodents to be whacked across the neck by a spring trap and disposed of. That way, as Rebecca says, the little bastards don’t come back.
However, if you’ve live-trapped them and have some crows dwelling nearby…
- #5 Splice
There’s no water. No bloody water anywhere on this climate challenged, Al Gore-forsaken shriveled up planet and you’ve got bongwater to waste just for trapping hippies?
My trap design uses reprocessed urine for the bongwater, just like in the immortal sci-fi epic “Waterworld.” More eco-friendly, and bongwater with Kevin Costner urine is clinically proven to attract 63% more hippies than the regular bongwater of Brand X.
can I buy you a beer?
Absolutely! Can Kevin Costner come along? Because I was running out of urine for the hippie traps.
- When a PETA-ite calls mice “tiny guests” I kind of believe them. I seriously doubt that any human guests ever stop over to their house. PETA-ites are your basic crazy cat-lady types taken to an extreme point.Posted by David Crawford on 2007 01 01 at 11:48 AM • permalink
- OT
Iowahawk, since you’re following this thread, thank you for posting that James Brown video. As I was watching it I realized that my mouth was just hanging open.
- PETA-ites are your basic crazy cat-lady types taken to an extreme point.
Actually, David, even us crazy cat ladies know that we don’t need humane mouse traps – we just need hungry, playful kitties who’ll trap mice the “natural” way (and sometimes squash, rip, and eat them the natural way, too). Beats a silly plastic trap every time.
- ‘“When tiny guests stop by,” advises PETA, “turn compassion into action. Plastic trap catches mice alive and unharmed so they can be released outdoors.’
Hey, screw that noise. These PETA guys are idiots, and if the little vermin invade my house, they’re dead.
And, that goes for the mice too.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 01 01 at 12:58 PM • permalink
- What’s so wrong with traditional mousetraps? It’s not as if they taunt mice before they kill them.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 01 01 at 01:14 PM • permalink
- #8: Iowahawk, by God, of all people you should know that if you piss in the bong, the girls won’t want to smoke any of this good gear anymore. Dammit, they don’t much like us pissing anywhere as it is… and then we have to put the lid down.
Anyway, I’m all for recycling, but hey, Kevin Costner and his precious fluids are a buck’s fizz. I’m ready to trust your judgment, of course, but don’t ya think that on the scale of global biodiversity he’s a bit of a long shot for sustainable species survival?
Oh well, I guess any other ones we catch, we can always let ‘em go again.
- We don’t need PETA approved mousetraps here for our little tiny guests
Four cats will do the trick – one covers the front. one lives out the back, and the other two who are always inside greet the little ones when they arrive – then eat them
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 01 at 01:34 PM • permalink
- The best mouse trap I ever had was an 18-lb. black and white tom cat who once lived on the street, and had a survivor’s appetite for game. Once he realized that I didn’t appreciate having the little twitching bodies left as a gift for me, he’d simply sit there and crunch up the little mousies in his jaw, softening their bones, before swallowing them whole. PETA claims to favour the natural world over the human one – what’s more natural than that?Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 01 01 at 01:37 PM • permalink
- ushie:
Load something like this up with large water balloons filled with iowahawk’s bong-water alternative and fling em at the kids. That should at least cause them to keep a safe distance.
- Well maybe Iowahawk shouldn’t have used Patent Assistance Claims Officiously to handle his patent. But then again, the fee was only $295.Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 01 at 02:00 PM • permalink
- Wisen up, wronwright, use a Pest Awareness Control Officer instead—his fees are only $294.85 per annum. What he did at my house was invite in a bunch of hippies telling them that the owners were unsure of how to dispose of their little guests caught in the nonlethal mouse hostels, then they gassed the entire house and disposed of all of the bodies. He said something about taking them off-planet—I don’t know where but I did notice a book tucked under the PACO’s arm: How To Serve Mouse and Mankind.Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 01 at 02:36 PM • permalink
PETA will be hearing from my lawyers. This is suspiciously similar to my patented design for the humane hippie trap. All they did was scale it down, and bait it with cheese instead of government grants and bongwater.
Dear Mr. Iowahawk, I believe that is called a ‘university.’ Higher priced models are called ‘faculty lounges.’
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 01 at 03:17 PM • permalink
- Hmmmm.
My GOD!!! I love it!
You know I actually had never thought of this before. Usually I can be a right bastard in real life and an even worse one on a blog. But this concept by PETA leaves me in awe.
Think about it. You capture a live mouse and then release it? Where? Where does that mouse now go? Why to the nearest house of course!
So if I were to capture, or perhaps for the really lazy … *buy*, a multitude of mice and then … say … release them into Nature’s Bountiful Embrace.
Say perhaps near the house of an annoying local granola-eating rice-milk-drinking sandal-wearing PETA-Pod-Person.
Then I’m only doing the most humanistic thing imaginable. I’m taking our furry friends out of danger and Eternal Bondage. I’m the Moses of the Mices, parting the Red Sea, defeating the Pharoahs of the Anti-Mice set, and freeing them into the Promised Land.
…
Well at least into that idiot neighbor’s pantry.
I like it!
Posted by memomachine on 2007 01 01 at 04:09 PM • permalink
- #9 Crazy cat-ladies don’t have mice.Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 01 at 04:27 PM • permalink
- Ed: with all that hemp stuff and all those natural seeds and grains stored in ecologically responsible burlap sacks, they’ll be overrun by mice in no time.Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 01 at 04:36 PM • permalink
- Ed, while you’re enjoying the spectacle of the Rodent Exodus to the Promised Pantry, be sure to tell your PETA neighbor that you’ve been studying exotic diseases, and fill them in on all the details of hanta virus and plague. Casually mention that there’ve been a few cases in the neighborhood. Note the PETA person’s adherence to principle (or lack thereof).
- A mate of mine used to work in a pest control lab in the UK.
PETA “liberated” all their mice and rats one night. Naturally the mice and rats simply sat around outside the building.
The local kites, hawks and owls ate so many they couldn’t fly. In the end they were walking from one meal to the next.
The few rats and mice that survived were glad when the technicians arrived for work and rounded them up and put them back in their nice and safe cages.
These people are so smart……….
The local kites, hawks and owls ate so many they couldn’t fly. In the end they were walking from one meal to the next.
Awesome! I wish that was on film somewhere.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 01 at 06:11 PM • permalink
- My brother the family lefty was bragging over Christmas how he sabotaged the Eddie Bauer sporting goods company by ‘losing’ a shipment of parkas they ordered because they used genuine coyote fur and he just couldn’t stand the thought of the suffering those ranch-grown coyotes must certainly have endured.
You heard me. Ranch-grown coyotes…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 01 at 06:56 PM • permalink
- PETA’s shiny new world
– a rodent infested landscape littered with the decaying corpses of fly struck sheep but hey, weve all got clear consciences right?
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 01 at 07:57 PM • permalink
- A friend of mine was once pleased to share her house with a mouse. She had a sort of Buddhist outlook where the world’s abundance is for all to share. I tried telling her there’s no such thing as “one mouse,” but she no listen.
Sure enough, she soon realised the world had provided her with an abundance of rodents which required professional eradication.
- mice shmice. The problem around these here parts are cane toads. At school my kids are taught to pick them up gently then place them in the freezer where they can humanely freeze to death. Trouble is, there are thousands of the f*ckers. No room left in the freezer for actual food.
Solutions? Many and varied. Golf clubs are my favourite, as from my front lawn I can 7-iron them nicely into the bush above the creek. Failing that, if I chance upon one on the path at night, I use my cross-field long ball technique, hit squarely with the laces, to drop nicely for my right winger at the edge of the penalty box in behind the defence.
cheers
JonathanH
- i posted this on the ‘campaign ideas ’ page
i was watching telly last night and was shocked to hear that over a million animals were brutally sacrificed on this years hajj
the richer people are the bigger the animal murdered,(from sheep to camels) and the longer it takes for them to die in agony. this says so much about the world today
i don’t think there’s any excuse for this kind of barbarity towards our fellow travellers on this spaceship earth in the 21st century
given the way rightwingers in the media have been stoking up unfounded racist fears of our islamic brothers and sisters i’m sure there are millions of moderate muslims who would join peta in a crusade against this evil
Cat stevens could approached to be a spokesman
a campaign against this ritual sacrifice would not only save untold millions of animals but greatly improve the image of muslims and make it harder for the neo fascists to drag us into wars to steal their oil
dont think theyll fall for it though!
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 01 at 08:53 PM • permalink
- #36 – At school my kids are taught to pick them up gently then place them in the freezer
Pathetic. I read a big sharpened-to-a-point nail attached to a broom handle – and thrust through the back – is the way to go.
On rats, here’s my non-patented tip for urban folk (like me) who have regular (if infrequent) problem with rats in the roof or under the house. I’ve got four small dogs who would love to tear a rat apart but that’s no good when they’re in the roof.
Make up little paper cylinders by wrapping grease-proof paper around a sherry glass. Fill with Ratsak and twist closed. Throw all over the roof space from the manhole and by lifting tiles. One pack of Ratsak makes about 10 cylinders. Rats are gone in two days. Thank you.
Posted by walterplinge on 2007 01 01 at 10:42 PM • permalink
- #36- While it’s still unproven that ciggies cause lung cancer, they don’t do Bufo Marinus a lot of good. Offer Mr Toad a lit durry, and the greedy sod will keep slurping all that tobacco-y goodness until he explodes. Salt affects them like triffids, and a bucket of high-concentrate pool chlorine makes them croak quicker than a Frog pensioner in a heatwave.
On no account place a lit thripenny bunger under a large can containing a toad, then stand on the can to concentrate the blast- it is cruel and unusual punishment, and extraodinarily messy.
- VRWC Memo
TOP SECRET
To: HabibAir guns, Habib, air guns. Cheap, effective, shitloads of fun AND it improves your marksmanship for the Time of the the Great Reckoning With Leftoids and Hippies (AKA the Great VRWC Turkey Shoot).
Which starts Monday, so stock up on the ammo.
MarkL
Minionmeister to the VRWC
- Florida is infested with cane toads (we call them bufo toads), but I’ve never heard of such, er… colorful ways of getting rid of them. In fact
Excuse me, I need to turn off the (American) football game, they are playing a marching band version of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” and I think I am going to have a seizure…
OK, all better. To continue—in fact, I have never even heard that these toads could be killed. We simply accept them as a fact of life, like hurricanes and men trying to wash your car windshield with wet newspapers at street corners. Oh, and that they are a favorite treat of hippies, who like to lick them (the toads, not the windshield washers) for the hallucinogenic properties of their secretions. Hm. I wonder if that’s why I haven’t seen any huge toads around here lately: they’ve all died from diseases caught from hippy saliva.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 01 at 11:42 PM • permalink
- cane toads, saltwater crocodiles?- if you got bananas and an incompetent state government led by a grinning fool too it sounds exactly like queenslandPosted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 02 at 12:18 AM • permalink
- #41- Queensland hippies smoke their dried skins, which are plentiful in nth Qld due to their propensity for frolic on busy autobahns (Dunlopping is the local colloqialism for creating a cane toad pizza).
Such is the level of usage that they are included in the state’s Poisons Act, as a narcotic substance, with a penalty prescribed for the possession of dried skins, prepared for smoking.
- Australian’s, inventive as ever, have come up with some novel ways to make money out of disposing of cane toads – Toad Traders
- I for one am disappointed at PETA’s sheer lack of humanity in sentencing the poor, innocent mice to indefinite confinement in a small space without even the benefit of a show trial.
I recommend they drill a reasonable sized hole in the wall and then hang above it a small, well lit exit sign.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 01 02 at 06:59 PM • permalink
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