People should be thinking about santa

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Last updated on August 3rd, 2017 at 10:18 am

Leading environmental author Ethan Matsuda contemplates current events:

Ethan Matsuda, 7, is worried about the future of Santa Claus.

His eyes light up, his voice rises with urgency as he describes what he says is the “dilemma. That means problem,” he clarifies.

The Yorba Linda, Calif., second-grader isn’t shy about talking to readers, reporters—even a congresswoman—about his children’s book that he hopes will help save Santa’s home.

It’s called “The North Pole Is Sinking!”

Please; can anyone quickly bring me up to speed on the legal ramifications of a 32nd trimester abortion?

He’s been reading about global warming and concerns that pollution and reckless use of energy could be warming the Earth’s atmosphere.

And that, he concluded, could be threatening the ice around the North Pole.

“There’s a lot we need to do,” Ethan says. “People should be thinking about Santa.”

Actually, it makes sense when you think about it; a fictional threat to a fictional character. The genius Matsuda has cleverly combined two fairy tales in a market-friendly super fantasy.

Santa flies from the North Pole looking for help. Somewhere over Southern California, Santa and his reindeer hit a cloud of smog and crash onto the roof of a home occupied by a boy named Ethan.

That’ll teach Santa to hire Mohammed Atta as a pilot.

Ethan remembered reading about alternative energy sources and giant wind generators of Denmark in that month’s National Geographic—the one for adults.

So Ethan incorporated that into the story, too, having students write letters advocating the use of clean energy to “Mrs. President.”

“That’s because there’s never been a woman president,” Ethan explains. “And there should be.”

I’m going to be sick!

Ethan’s parents weren’t worried about trying to explain both sides of the global-warming debate. This was Ethan’s book, and it should be his words, they say.

The book is co-authored by Ethan’s father.

They’ve sold about 400 copies and received e-mails from across the country as bloggers have discovered their Web site …

But like any good writer, Ethan’s already thinking about his next project.

“I’ve got an idea that involves the Easter Bunny,” he says. “But that’s next year.”

Given Ethan’s skill at combining myth with news, I’m guessing his Easter fable will tell the story of Tookie “Easter” Bunny, a tough LA rabbit sentenced to death after some Bloods pop a cap in his eggs—provoking bloody Bunny vengeance. “I’m the Easter Bunny, bitch!” screams Tookie as he’s led to his doom, and subsequent skinning.

UPDATE. Paco advises: “32nd-trimester abortions are only legal in Massachussetts.”

Posted by Tim B. on 12/21/2005 at 11:22 AM
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