Pants man profiled

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 09:07 am

John Hargrave wants to know if increased airport security is effective:

To find out, I decided to re-enact the classic scene from the 1974 movie This is Spinal Tap, where bassist Derek Smalls puts a foil-lined cucumber down his pants, which is picked up by the security wand. Only I decided to go one better, by putting a buzzing vibrator down my pants.

The film was released in 1984. That aside, please enjoy Hargrave’s buzzy airport adventure.

(Via Bob B. in Edmonton)

Posted by Tim B. on 09/02/2006 at 12:42 PM
    1. LOL!. Highly amusing yet deeply worrying.

      Posted by Daniel San on 2006 09 02 at 01:16 PM • permalink


    1. I don’t about John, but maybe Bob saw the old (pre-9/11?) beer TV ad about the ice hockey player trying to get through the airport metal detector while his teammates wait and recount all the injuries the guy’s suffered as they’re found by the wand search. Something along the lines of “Leg pin from Moncton; head plate from Albany; hip joint ball from Ottawa,” etc. I can’t remember the brand, however. (Maybe Molson Canadian?)

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 02 at 01:59 PM • permalink


    1. Way back in high school, a friend was goofing around and stuffed an inflated baloon down his pants. Our English teacher, showing an incredible degree of coolness, just reached over and popped it.

      From what I remember, he was doubled over in pain for as long as we were laughing.

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 02 at 02:21 PM • permalink


    1. Sweating cheeseburgers!  HAH!

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 02 at 03:35 PM • permalink


    1. A journo mate recently flew up to FNQ from Brisbane for a visit. We were sitting on the verandah knocking back a few ales when he pulled from his camera gear four 7.62mm live rounds he had inadvertently brought with him, relics from a hunting trip.
      Yeah great security we got.
      That bag had been through the Airport X Ray and how security didn’t pick them up I just don’t know.
      This was only some 6 months ago.

      Posted by 81Alpha on 2006 09 02 at 04:32 PM • permalink


    1. So, everyone complains about the intrusive security measures and how they are applied, and usually denigrates the personnel performing the screening.  Ergo, we have this idiot who decides to make their jobs harder just on a lark.

      Too bad they didn’t shoot him in the knee, just for fun.

      Posted by chunt31854 on 2006 09 02 at 06:28 PM • permalink


    1. I believe if you’re going to go Jack Bauer, you’re obliged to shoot them in the thigh…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 09 02 at 07:06 PM • permalink


    1. I really to feel for the very self-important people who are inconvenienced by security checks. The solution is obvious. Set aside certain flights where no security checks are carried out, and all the self-important people can catch those flights. Thus, the only planes to go down will be full of self-important people who blame security measures and the people carrying them out (rather than terrorists) for their minor inconveniences. On their way down from 30,000 feet at terminal velocity, they may possibly gain a better perspective on the concept of inconvenience.

      Posted by quillpen on 2006 09 02 at 09:38 PM • permalink


    1. Good idea, quill, except who’s gonna fly ‘em?

      Posted by Henry boy on 2006 09 02 at 10:11 PM • permalink


    1. I love these stories about people who “just want to test the system” by attempting to smuggle various objects on board aircraft.

      When one of these idiots dies in a hail of police bullets when “testing the system” the fools might realise that airport security is no joke.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 09 02 at 11:32 PM • permalink


    1. Any excuse to stuff a cucumber down his trousers…

      Posted by crash on 2006 09 03 at 06:01 AM • permalink


    1. #10:  I don’t know—there’s times I think the security measures are mostly for show.  Sometimes they are simply insane:
      How WoW made one man a “terrorist”

      Posted by Larry on 2006 09 03 at 11:13 PM • permalink


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