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Last updated on March 5th, 2018 at 01:45 pm
On account of I don’t got nothin’ to say right now!
- We’re all awaiting the birth of the Tookie Williams-Margo Kingston lovechild.Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 12 28 at 11:23 AM • permalink
- Anthony27, here’s a very good book:
http://product.ebay.com/The-Minutemen-and-Their-World_ISBN_0809001209_W0QQfvcsZ1388QQsoprZ666082
Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2005 12 28 at 12:02 PM • permalink
- The best observer of Colonial America was a Frenchman (go figure), AlexisPosted by Dave in Chicago on 2005 12 28 at 12:05 PM • permalink
- OK, DeTocqueville was actually a bit post-colonial, but he was the shrewdest observer of the emerging American character, and the American Experiment.Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2005 12 28 at 12:11 PM • permalink
- Can any footy fans explain the lightning premiership to me?Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2005 12 28 at 12:20 PM • permalink
- Here’s a challenge for Canadians: tell us what makes Canada great without mentioning the US or socialized medicine.Posted by Steven Den Beste on 2005 12 28 at 12:28 PM • permalink
Can you recommend some good reading on Colonial America?
Albion’s Seed, by David Hackett Fischer. A must-read. Explains the four main migrations to America, their folkways, and how they persist today.
Colonial America, A History, 1607-1760, by Richard Middleton.
Colonial British America, Essays in the New History of the Early Modern Era, edited by Jack P. Greene and J. R. Pole. A clunky title for a collection of academic essays on social, political, and economic issues. Contains useful tables.
- And speaking of holiday blockbusters, Naria was terrific in the first half, LOTR-Lite in the second half. The youngest girl was fantastic, but the male lead was stiff. Not Hayden Christiansen-level bad, mind you, but he’s in a whole ‘nother league. I could plane him and make a nice set of bookshelves.
- Great. I’ve been wanting to ask this question.
Thinking of visiting Australia in 20 more pds (*) so I was looking for a good reference on what to see. Any suggestiongs? Prob be there for 8 days split between Sydney and Melbourne.
(*) Dieting. Down 70lbs. I’ve promised myself the trip if I can make it down to my sub-goal weight.
Posted by CujoQuarrel on 2005 12 28 at 12:41 PM • permalink
- Thanks, Chinesearithmetic. Does The Minutemen have an emphasis on the Revolution, or pre-1776 colonial life (both are good)?
Post-colonial is good as well, Dave. I really should’ve said early American history.
I’d love to check out some primary works by Jefferson, Franklin and your other assorted heroes. Oops, better not leave out Washington…
”…in sum then, men in America, as with us, are arranged according to certain categories in the course of social life; common habits, education, and above all wealth establish these classifications. But these rules are neither absolute, not inflexible, nor permanent. They establish temporary distinctions, and do not form classes properly so called. They give no superiority, even in opinion, to one man above another, so that even though two individuals never meet in the same salons, if they meet on the public square, one looks at the other without pride, and in return is regarded without envy. At bottom they feel themselves equal, and are”
Thanks for that site, Dave.
Thankyou too, Dave S. I’ll have to bookmark this page…
Well, 3.30am here, work tomorow- better sleep.
Thanks again…
- Couldn’t you at least work up something about the struggle for global domination between Jordan & Jodie Marsh?Posted by beautifulatrocities on 2005 12 28 at 12:51 PM • permalink
- Got an overlong rant about Kwanzaa on my crummy Booger, er, Blogger site, if you want to get annoyed.Posted by Monroe Doctrine on 2005 12 28 at 12:58 PM • permalink
- Hmmmm.
Here’s a challenge for Canadians: tell us what makes Canada great without mentioning the US or socialized medicine.
I’m not Canadian but …
1. All of the French speakers are in Quebec? If you’re going to have people speaking French, it’s better to have them all in one place so they’re easier to ignore.
Besides if they weren’t in Canada they’d be in America. And if Europe really does become Eurabia, then all of those French people will migrate to Quebec instead of the US!
Now that’s something very useful IMHO.
2. All that wood!
3. Canada keeps Alaska at a distance from the rest of the United States! Not to demean Alaskans or anything, but there’s something *wrong* with people who like that much snow and cold weather.
If you really need to hunt seals to live, then you really need to move somewhere with palm trees.
:):)
Posted by memomachine on 2005 12 28 at 01:02 PM • permalink
- Where are the oafish and infantile?Posted by Pat Patterson on 2005 12 28 at 01:03 PM • permalink
- #3: The Library of America has several good volumes on the revolutionary period and on the events leading up to the ratification of the constitution (including a very comprehensive collection of The Federalist and the Anti-federalist letters). Also, a couple of volumes on the French and Indian wars.
#12: Dave, I can’t say as I looked much at her feet, but they didn’t strike me as being THAT big. She is such a lovely girl, otherwise, I guess I didn’t notice. Thought the movie was an excellent specimen of the old-time adventure story, though over-long by probably 30 minutes or so. And, as usual, the fedoras don’t look quite right.
- I very much enjoyed the book “Angel in the Whirlwind”, by Benson Bobrick. It’s a history of the revolution.
When I got done with it I really began to realize what an amazing man Washington was. That’s because Bobrick doesn’t put Washington on a pedestal or treat him like some kind of demigod.
Posted by Steven Den Beste on 2005 12 28 at 01:16 PM • permalink
- Do me a favour, go here and read my comment noting that the “track record” link that worked when I posted it is now dead – it’s the only dead link I could find at the site. (The link was originally to this Chris Sheil post by Tim.) When contemplating the situation bear in mind Sheil stealthily deleted some of my LP comments in the past. It’s also probably worth considering that Sheil effectively shut down this thread by opening a new one on the same subject within three hours of my comment.
What do you reckon?
- Here’s a challenge for Canadians: tell us what makes Canada great without mentioning the US or socialized medicine.
I’m not Canadian but …Most of the Band, most of Meatballs, the first of Neil Young. the best parts of the National Hockey League, all of Linda Evangelista and Shalom Harlow.
Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2005 12 28 at 01:38 PM • permalink
Post-colonial is good as well, Dave. I really should’ve said early American history.
Oh, well, then it really opens up.
A great read for vivid portraits of each of the Founders, written for a popular audience, is Patriots, by A.J. Langguth.
Anything by David Hackett Fischer is both scholarly and rippingly written. Paul Revere’s Ride is not just about Revere, and his ride, but also has the best account of the battles of Lexington and Concord, written in cracking style. Similarly, Washington’s Crossing details not only the crossing of the Delaware, but the dark, desperate weeks before when the Revolution nearly died, the utterly brutal occupation of New Jersey by the British and Germans (you did not want to be a female, of any age), and the miraculous triumphs of Trenton and Princeton. Both books flesh out Revere and Washington in grand style.
The standard text for the Revolution as a whole is probably Middlekauf’s The Glorious Cause, though I haven’t gotten to it yet.
If you don’t mind your history dry and comprehensive, then Elkins and McKitrick’s The Age of Federalism is the standard for the Early National period.
Biographies of Washington abound. Flexner’s Washington: The Indispensible Man is excellent and comes in a handy, standard-size paperback.
If you look at all of these on Amazon, the reviews should be helpful in deciding. Do also look for a good history of the War of 1812, virtually unknown outside of Canada (where it’s important) and the US (where it’s not). It’s a fascinating conflict for its elements of opera bouffe – never has the US been so poorly led with such a terrible army, but the fledgling US Navy gave the vaunted British Navy a sound thrashing time after time. I’ve read several general histories and found them to be about equal, so let the reviews be your guide. An extremely entertaining read about one battle is Grave’s The Battle of Lundy’s Lane, but I think I’m probably already getting way off your track.
- Most of the Band, most of Meatballs, the first of Neil Young. the best parts of the National Hockey League, all of Linda Evangelista and Shalom Harlow.
And haven’t most of those left Canada and come to the US?
Posted by Steven Den Beste on 2005 12 28 at 01:41 PM • permalink
- Here’s a challenge for Canadians: tell us what makes Canada great without mentioning the US or socialized medicine.
I’m not Canadian either, but I go there a lot. A few random observations, with a broad definition of “great”:
1) Ontarians recognize that were the country in a different neighborhood, the rest of Canada would hate them instead.
2) The Canadians I deal with think underwater hockey is just plain stupid.
3) When I first visited Alberta in the ‘70s they were the most socialist primary jurisdiction in North America. Since then, that province has actually moved rightward politically . . . proving that leftward tectonic drift is not inevitable.
4) An elite military force component called the “Princess Pats”. Of course, to get those forces anywhere they have to hitch a ride from a true military power.
5) The Newfoundlanders imported a handful of moose a century ago, and now there are thousands. After hundreds of human and moose highway fatalities, the wisdom of this transfer still is not questioned.
6) The good side of Niagara Falls – unless you’re a chemical industry buff – is the Canadian side.
7) What other country would provide colorful moose statues in their financial capital, have a currency their citizenry calls “loonies”, or tolerate a province in a half-hour-off timezone?
- Anthony27, anything by or about Jefferson. The man was a genius on many levels. Way back, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I went to Independence Hall, and the guard, hearing of my admiration for the man, let me hold his cane. Jefferson’s cane, I mean. Also, I tapped the Bell for luck. Can’t do that anymore, I believe.
I blame the Canadians for William Shatner, and praise Canada for the gloomy outdoor settings of the decent seasons of the X-Files.
- A huge complaint: When I first heard about Brokeback Mountain, I thought, oh, well, a love story between two gay sheepherders. Well, now I read from glowing reviews that the two sheepherders are married to women and have children, and it’s somehow admirable to cheat on their wives and ignore the kids to keep stealing away to have sex with one another–apparently, it’s LAUDATORY because it’s GAY! And the critics say we need MORE relevatory movies like this!
BECAUSE ADULTERY IS FINE WHEN IT’S GAY! Or something.
Certainly there have never been other movies about adulterous affairs…
- I prefer the Grey Cup to the Super Bowl, Shae-Lynn Bourne to MIchelle Kwan, the Abetibi to Temiscamingue maritime forecast to Manesquan to Watch Hill, and Larry to Moe.Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2005 12 28 at 02:27 PM • permalink
- Dave S.
Rent “Shattered Glass.” It’s a film where Hayden Christensen actually does a great job of acting. No stiff here. The kid has chops, but in the Star Wars episodes he is stiff as a board (to be fair, that is mostly Lucas, not the actors. He wrote the stilted dialogue and directs his actors to be that way as that is how he remembers all the old Flash Gordons he saw as a kid. And he’s not a good “actor’s director” anyway. He tells a great story, and he loves the F/X-CGI more than the people). I thought he – Christensen – was awful until I saw Shattered Glass. Which is about, oddly enough, fake journalism. It’s a good flick. Highly Recommended.
- Mark Steyn is Canadian. Kate and Anna McGarrigle, too. Ditto readable jazz critic Gene Lees.Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2005 12 28 at 02:57 PM • permalink
Are you talking about the babes in the Canadian Ballet? Are they like…hot?
In Buffalo, the “Canadian Ballet” is a euphemism for the strip joints in Fort Erie and Niagara Falls. It’s fifteen bucks Canadian for a lap dance (about $12.00 American), the girls are full nude, and from what my buddy who still lives in B-lo tells me, the competition is so fierce now that your twelve bucks usually gets you a discreet handy with the dance.
Being a married man, of course, I frown upon such goings-on now. For shame, I say!
- #31 ushie:
BECAUSE ADULTERY IS FINE WHEN IT’S GAY! Or something.
Well, that’s what the primate of the U.S. Episcopal Church said—or didn’t say—when an astute reporter asked him if that gay priest would still be made a bishop if he’d left his wife for another woman. Instead of a man.
Certain ends justify any means, apparently.
Posted by Rittenhouse on 2005 12 28 at 03:06 PM • permalink
- Canada is in the world’s peanut gallery. Life can be very nice in the peanut gallery. You get to have fun in relative anonymity, enjoy the show, and chuck peanuts at the people working on-stage.Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2005 12 28 at 03:34 PM • permalink
- In answer to Steven den Beste:
1. British freedom and responsible parliamentary democracy in the New World, and the longest continuous constitutional history on the mainland Americas. Beats youse by 13 years. (By the way: I was a regular reader of Clueless, and when it came to your understanding of the Canadian system of government, your blog was most aptly named.)
2. A fighting history that includes Queenston, Chateauguay, Paardeberg, Second Ypres, the Somme, Vimy, the Hundred Days, the Battle of the Atlantic, Assoro, Ortona, Malta, Falaise, and Kapyong. Oh, and now Medak and Anaconda.
3. The exploration of the Northwest by Mackenzie and Thompson, the prairies by Henday and Kelsey, and the Arctic by Hearne, Ross, Tyrrell, and Bartlett. (A certain Mr. Peary hitch-hiked with Bartlett. And did little else.)
4. The top end of the Underground Railroad. Oh, yes, and the first Legislature in North American to abolish slavery. De flag o’ freedom, chillen: th’old flag.
5. Warthog, Creemore, Upper Canada, and Raftman. Grohmann knives, Western Star trucks, the Leica M4-2, Kaufman Sorel boots, Sabian cymbals.
6. The men that chopped the trees to open the country. The men in sheepskin coats that opened the New West. The Newfies that keep it open today.
7. Open-ice bodychecks: hip and shoulder.
8. The smell of wet cedar in early spring. Arctic cotton in a frigid swamp. Wolves. Jaegers. Lake trout.
9. The electron microscope, radioisotopic dating, standard time zones, coal oil, and radiotelephony.
10. Macdonald, Tupper, Tilley, Borden, the Baldwins, Forsey, Leacock, Rogers, Mitchell, Creighton, Morton, Vanier, Power, and all the other Canadians that know about these things.
No Medicare. No Charter of Rights. No we-hate-guns-and-we’re-so-polite. No Quebec-makes-us-so-cosmopolitan-and-aren’t-the-women-all-babes. No multi-culti-cringe. Just a pretty glorious history, for a change.
- RE: Brokeback: depicting adultery isn’t the same as endorsing it. Unless you accept the PC Left’s view that the point of art is to portray good role models.Posted by beautifulatrocities on 2005 12 28 at 04:20 PM • permalink
- An open thread here.
How LGF-ish.
# 3…
Have a look at Paul Johnson’s (A Brit) HISTORY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE (goes post-colonial too, as you might expect).
Canadians gave us The Kids In The Hall, one of the funniest sketch shows ever.
Oh yeah and Dr Evil as well as Fat Bastard (a Scott of Canadian lineage apparently).
Thats my olive branch sent North.
- Warren Mundine is quitting the indigenous advisory council to concentrate on his new job as ALP National President. He is convinced that by getting the parliamentary party heavies more media exposure (I think he calls it “getting their message across”) they will win back the ALP voters now voting for the coalition.
Good luck, Warren.
Giving that mindless bunch of jerks more exposure will only strengthen the impression that they are a destructive clique whose interests have still not evolved beyond the “whatever it takes” school of power grabbing.
Convincing the voters that they have Australia’s best interests at heart will take a bit more work, not simply more exposure to the present set of negative “messages”.
- Jim Whyte said:
2. A fighting history that includes Queenston, Chateauguay, Paardeberg, Second Ypres, the Somme, Vimy, the Hundred Days, the Battle of the Atlantic, Assoro, Ortona, Malta, Falaise, and Kapyong. Oh, and now Medak and Anaconda.
Yes, Canada has a tremendous fighting history; you forgot Normandy on your list. Canada still does have good soldiers, and I’m glad to see them in action still…..but they have to borrow transportation to get anywhere. I also recall they were issued US equipment for Afghanistan because the Canadian military inventory was sort of empty.
As for the Underground Railroad? It did terminate in Canada, no doubt about it. But there were plenty of stops in the Free States beforereaching the 49th Parallel.
No Medicare
No Medicare? Just socilized medicine and long waits for critical care. I have one distant cousin who, at the age of 73, was afraid to leave the hospital because she was worried that she might not get back in again.
No Charter of Rights.
What the heck is the “Charter Of Rights”? Do you mean “Bill of Rights”?
No we-hate-guns-and-we’re-so-polite.
Officially, Canada has always had gun control. So I suppose that you are right about not hating guns….how could you, when you control them so tightly?
As for politeness…..all I can say is that Vancouver BC has the rudest people I’ve ever met. Victoria, right across the Straits, are among the most courteous. Interesting, that. Can’t say about the rest of Canada.
No Quebec-makes-us-so-cosmopolitan-and-aren’t-the-women-all-babes.
Huh? You don’t like Quebec? And I’ve known quite a few Canadian babes! 😉
No multi-culti-cringe.
Just a pretty glorious history, for a change.
The sad thing is, Jim, except for a few items on your list, everything took place prior to 1955 or so. And from what I am reading about the (ahem) current “…responsible parliamentary democracy…” in Canada, I can see why.
I just wish it were different.
And if you don’t like Canadian bashing…..well, I don’t know if you ever bashed Americans, but this is pretty much what we receive on a daily basis. Learn to love it, eh?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 05:31 PM • permalink
- Got that right, blogstrop! Let’s hear it for the Diggers!!!!
entropy really sums it up best, what has Canada done for the world lately? Some things, true enough (Afghanistan, Croatia, etc), but their government is deeply corrupt, among other issues. Alas, Canada simply isn’t what she used to be.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 05:42 PM • permalink
- #14 – Hi Cujo – best of luck with your endeavours!
It will depend on your own interests to a degree. Sydney has great sightseeing, harbour cruises, bridge-climb, art gallery of NSW, lots of beaches, zoo, various sporting events, concerts, restaurants, train or road trip to Blue Mountains. See also http://www.sydney.com.au/
Melbourne has …. well, its down there somewhere. No, seriously, it also has a very good art gallery, and the usual places to eat, drink .. oh, … sorry!
Er … Melbourne is nice and flat, so good for bicycle tours! Watch out for the Tram Tracks in the roadway though. See http://www.visitvictoria.com/ for further info. (Oh, yes, now I remember: it is the Capital of the State of Victoria! We refer to them as Mexicans – south of the border)
- Jeff S:
1. I didn’t forget Normandy. I didn’t include it deliberately. Doesn’t meet the standard.
2. UGRR was yours too. That doesn’t mean I can’t be proud of my own country’s role in it.
3. “No medicare…” etc.: the point I was making was that Medicare, the oh-so-holy Charter, the alleged “politeness” are things I’m not proud of, and don’t need to be. Sometimes people are actually writing what they mean.
4. Don’t tag me with an anti-gun attitude you think Canadians have: my own preference is the Swiss gun control model—if you want to vote, bring your rifle.
5. No multi-culti-cringe from me, that was. I hate it when other Canadians do it.
6. Pre-1955. Yes. I wish it wasn’t so too. The Sixties and onward have been unkind to the real Canada. That is Canadians’ fault, and I am willing to take my lumps for that.
7. As to the American-bashing, an answer is on its way in e-mail.
8. The destruction of responsible parliamentary democracy, largely by the Libranos, is a disgrace to the country. That doesn’t mean I can’t be proud of the people that built it, and despise the ones that tore it down.
Blogstrop:
As for Kapyong, see the sentiment in point 2 above.
- Actually blogstrop – they were worse than that, here’s one from the Sydney Morning Herald – “Terrorist suspects: Christmas in solitary”
That’s right – seems they are upset about being in prison over Christmas, the holiest of all Islamic holy days.
Their dopey lawyer even calls them political prisoners. Great reading.
On another topic would it be fair to say that Canada is to the US what New Zealand is to Australia? They like to tell us why they are better but can never explain why if their joint is so good they all move over here?
Posted by Ralph Wiggum on 2005 12 28 at 05:53 PM • permalink
- One great thing about Canada?
Two huge blokes in full body padding and helmets trying to bash the bejesus out of each other while on ice skates in the middle of an enclosed stadium.
By far the most memorable sight of my last trip to Toronto. Also one side called themselves “The Leafs”. Not even “The Leaves”. “The Leafs”. I tell you, all of this is fair dinkum.
- If anyone is interested Andrew Bolt has an article up on the hearld sun site from Iraq.
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,17672798%255E25717,00.html
- #53 Jin Whyte
“The Sixties and onward have been unkind to the real Canada. That is Canadians’ fault, and I am willing to take my lumps for that.”
I guess that would have started with Pierre Trudeau and all his ‘liberating’ values. But where does Canada go with the large French population in Quebec with their socialist leanings, language laws, nascent misplaced Gallic pride and continual threats to secede? It makes it a huge challenge for Canada to get a decent federal government, witness the current fiasco (fraud) involving the federal government’s stealing public money. Still you have a chance soon to make a change. And I take your point at 8.
Anyway I love Canada. I had a great time there many years ago working and skiing across the country. Hell I even got frostbite to a whole finger while completing a downhill skiing marathon. I got my gold pin plus some extra joy a few days later when a doctor in Vancouver read me the riot act for wilful personal injury. [Of course he was right if not a little late in his ‘advice’].
And my greatest appreciation for Canada is that is where I met my wife. We are both English born brought up as children of immigrants to Canada and Australia respectively and we enjoy families and friends that are spread far and wide across the world in the UK, Ireland, Canada, USA and here in Australia. It makes for easy world travelling and our children have triple nationalities (thanks Canada).
- Fair enough, Jim. I mistook some of your points. I’ve known a good number of Canadians (I was raised in NW Washington State [Whatcom County], and I could see Vancouver Island from my home), and I truly regret what has happened to your nation. That doesn’t mean there aren’t good people there. On the contrary! I know better, and I should have been more cirmcumspect.
As for the Swiss model of voting…..hell, yes!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 06:46 PM • permalink
- Terrible news on the radio from Europe this morning, where global warming is again manifesting its vile self in blizzards and sub-zero temperatures. Will those Kyoto-lovin’ folk throw conscience to the winds and crank up the heaters? Or will they don T-shirts bearing the slogan I’LL GLADLY FREEZE BECAUSE I LOVE GAIA? No, I’m not taking bets on this.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2005 12 28 at 06:55 PM • permalink
Terrible news on the radio from Europe this morning, where global warming is again manifesting its vile self in blizzards and sub-zero temperatures. Will those Kyoto-lovin’ folk throw conscience to the winds and crank up the heaters? Or will they don T-shirts bearing the slogan I’LL GLADLY FREEZE BECAUSE I LOVE GAIA? No, I’m not taking bets on this.
Ender, where are you?
- #24 Dave S The War Of 1812, virtually unknown outside of Canada (Where it is important) and the US (Where it is not)
Isn’t that the war when the British set fire to the White House? And the Capitol? Also isn’t that the war when The Star-Spangled Banner was composed?
When they sing :
Where the Foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
and
Their blood has wiped out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
I’ve always thought they sure as hell ain’t singing about the Mexicans.
- Sloane?
…Errr Achillea,
RE: BloggageFrom what I gather many blog virgins seem to have cut their pundit teeth with a Blogger account and then stepped up to a more versatile platform like WordPress – which can be considerably more complicated, but also much more powerful…Or alternatively you can choose a super duper secret high tech blog engine which runs on 99.9% pure platinum ingots like Andrew Sullivan’s place.
Anyway, If you already have or can afford the HTML n’ PHP chops, you might consider hopping right on over the mollases slow Blogger stage.
- Re #69, correct, geoff. The War of 1812 gave us our National Anthem, and the burning of Washington DC served as the inspiration for Trading Spaces. Or possibly Home Improvement.Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 08:13 PM • permalink
- #54 – It’s a disgrace.
Rob Stary, lawyer for the accused Victorian terrorists says his clients are upset about missing Christmas, despite being Muslim. Which bit exactly ? Do they also miss Channukah and Kwanzaa? Or is it just whatever he thinks will attract public sympathy for men accused of the unspeakable.
According to the handbook, we should shortly be hearing accusations of torture. After such a pithy lovey-dovey piece, at least the reporter won’t have to worry about being bashed by the accused’s friends like those other journos were.
And what the HELL is “Guantanamo Orange”? High-Security prisoners have been wearing dayglo ‘pumpkins’ for years . What did he expect? White pyjamas with arrows on them? Ball and Chain perhaps? He should see some of the other prison fashion statements they could be subject to. What an ass.
- Anthony27: Francis Parkman’s Montcalm and Wolfe, part of a seven-volume work but readable on its own, is a riveting account of how the (18th c) French, using Indians as proxies, tried to take and hold the middle of what is today the United States–and ultimately wound up with nought but a bit of Canada, thanks to Paris-centric autocracy, ineptitude, corruption, the perennial French reluctance to emigrate, and, on the American side, decentralized, mercantile democracy, individual initiative, and outstanding American and British generals like Washington and Wolfe. Parkman spent half a lifetime researching this work, but his narrative has the vividness and immediacy of a novel–and the horror, too… the Indians, encouragé by generous gifts of French brandy, were unleashed like dogs to murder, rape, scalp and torture their way up and down the American frontier, thus allowing the French to wage war on the English without appearing to violate their mutual peace treaty … Many foretastes of today’s axis of weasel, as well as a gripping tale.
De flag o’ freedom, chillen: th’old flag.
De stank o’ pretentiousness, chillen: th’ old stank.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 12 28 at 08:26 PM • permalink
“Yes, Canada has a tremendous fighting history; you forgot Normandy on your list. Canada still does have good soldiers, and I’m glad to see them in action still…..but they have to borrow transportation to get anywhere. I also recall they were issued US equipment for Afghanistan because the Canadian military inventory was sort of empty.” —The Real JeffS
I used to read Canadian online newspapers when I got hooked on reading Mark Steyn’s column. (For the same reason I started reading the SMH, the Irish Times, and the Daily Telegraph which also publish his column). I seem to recall from reading articles and opinions in the National Post and the conservative newspapers on Canoe.com, that when the US was preparing to invade Afghanistan and President Bush requested assistance from America’s “allies”, we heard nothing but lecture about root causes from Chiraq.
After the hard part of the war was over, America turned its attention to Iraq. Since its “allies” did not want any part of that, they jumped to offering assistance in Afghanistan, which was much more peaceful and safe by that point, especially from the confines of Kabul. In order to keep its status of a perceived world power, Canada offered a few Princess Pats. It offered it to the allies, notably Germany. No one even bothered to respond. The conservative dailies were howling with derision at the low status that Canada had fell to in world opinion.
In a desperate move, Chiraq called the White House and offered the PP’s but said the Canadian soldiers needed to hitch a ride to Afghanistan. Although by that point the US military really didn’t need 600 foreign soldiers with questionable desire to fight in combat, it agreed and transported them to Afghanistan.
As it turned out, the Canadian soldiers were eager to perform what they were trained to do. In particular, their snipers performed bravely in Anaconda and were offered medals for valor by the US military. Unfortunately the soldiers were ordered not to accept them without receiving permission from the politicos in Ottawa first.
I believe the story ended by the US military waiting months for permission, never receiving it, and just going ahead and giving the soldiers the medals without permission. I might be mistaken on that though.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 28 at 08:28 PM • permalink
- Quebec has poutine, which I hear is… actually, I don’t hear anything about it.
Seriously, I would like to visit Canada someday. I know that not all Canadians are so traumatized by the existence of the country south of them that it makes them uptight, neurotic jerks. Also, Canadian comedy rocks: I don’t know what I would have done without SCTV in the 70s and The Kids in the Hall in the 80s.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 12 28 at 08:29 PM • permalink
- I comment here reluctantly.Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2005 12 28 at 08:43 PM • permalink
- #14 Cujo:
“Any suggestiongs? Prob be there for 8 days split between Sydney and Melbourne”
For Gaia’s sake, man! If you are coming all this way, do it properly!
(1) Allocate 80 days, not 8.
(2) Sydney’s OK to visit. Start there.
(3) Once you’ve had your fill of Sydney, hire a decent car, head south to Melbourne.
(4) See for yourself the best thing about Melbourne (the road leading out of there!)
(5) Under no circumstances miss driving along the Great Ocean Road.
(6) Head west to Adelaide to sample some of the worlds greatest wines.
(7) Head north into the Outback. Who would want to miss driving on a bitumen public highway for hundreds of kilometres dead straight, with no speed limit, no speeding fines!
(8) Half way across the continent, turn left to Ayers Rock, or Pine Gap US radio-spectrum listening base, if protesting is your forte.
(9) Go to Darwin, and enjoy.
(10) Backtrack south, and head to Mt Isa, and through to Cairns, Townsville, go to the Great Barrier Reef, meander down the east coast to Brisbane.
(11) Fly home. If you are flying cattle class, by this time you may need to book 2 adjoining seats. 🙂Enjoy, for Gaia’s sake. 8 days is a spit in the ocean!
- Does anyone have a good recipe for marinade for BBQ Pork Ribs.
My wife threw my last one out. I remember it had paprika, distilled vinegar, brown sugar, tomato puree, chilli powder, Worcestershire sauce, maybe garlic and a few other things. I can’t remember the quantities.
Given the lack of vegans and number of Americans on this site I figure it has to be the perfect place to ask.
And and #14 Cujo – ditch Melbourne and go the the Whitsunday Islands in Queensland instead.
Posted by Ralph Wiggum on 2005 12 28 at 08:55 PM • permalink
- What is a Canadian?
Answer: An unarmed American.
Also, who was that assh*** that said Vancouverites were rude?
Posted by Go Canucks on 2005 12 28 at 08:56 PM • permalink
Isn’t that the war when the British set fire to the White House?
Don’t we generally just pretend it never happened? “You’re saying that Dolly Madison saved a portrait of Washington? The snack-cake lady? Yeah, right…”
Also isn’t that the war when The Star-Spangled Banner was composed?
Dude, we can’t even sing it. You expect the average American knows when it was written? Besides, as anthems go, it kinda blows. It ain’t no Waltzing Matilda.
The War of 1812 accomplished nothing, ended in a tie, and its most important battle happened after the war was over. Next!
- Another great thing about Canada. After the Boston Tea Party and the natives were generally revolting, many of the loyalists fled north across the border. Especially when things stopped going entirely to plan as set out back in the Old Dart.
There they settled. They didn’t mind paying taxes on everything that moved. With or without representation.
That’s why Canada has a GST. And the US does not.
- Finally, an interesting post on this blog. ((Just kidding, Timmo.))
I have to call BS on Jim Whyte on Abolition. Vermont was first in NA–1777.
However, Canada is still packed with wonderful people and things. William Shatner would be enough. But they also grow outstanding strawberries in Shebrooke.
Try roasting lobster over a campfire on PEI. Or a golf vacation at the Banff Springs Hotel. There’s fishing in the Gaspe, hunting on Anticosti, and great skiing just about everywhere. I love the oil and gas they send us.
Dining in Montreal is fabulous, but the smoked meat is overrated. The gardens make Central Park look like it should be draped. When you need a fur, there really is no other place on the planet.
And if you need to make someone fall in love with you, take them to Lake Louis or Memphremagog.
- Closing all…..I hope!Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 09:26 PM • permalink
- Rats!!!! Now?Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 09:26 PM • permalink
- The SMH today has Irfan Yusuf writing about the local mosques. He explains how they are usually run by particular ethnic groups to the exclusion of all others (nothing racist about that!), and the Imams are chosen on the basis of upholding those values. Speaking English is certainly not a requirement. Pity our usual insightful MSM hacks could not explain this situation.
Perhaps they are suffering from the Munich Syndrome.
- OK, italics off…..back O/T..l..
Also, who was that assh*** that said Vancouverites were rude?
Me, Go canucks. It seems to be my day to insert my foot in my mouth. I grew up in Whatcom County, and it seemed that every Vancouverite I ever met was a rude person. Going into Vancouver wasn’t a lot different. And the drivers! Omigawd.
Obviously, I didn’t meet every single person there, so my sweeping generalization is exactly that. It’s also important to note that I grew up during the anti-Americanism and Vietnam War protests from Canada, including the one that virtually destroyed the beautiful gardens at the Peace Arch Park. So my prejudices are likely showing here.
My apologies if I offended you.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 09:32 PM • permalink
- I just got called a “lefty” by a racist over at http://needstobeglassed.blogspot.com/
- Heh, well, irony isn’t exactly my thing today. I need to get that meter re-calibrated, I think. Or get laid. Either will work for me.
At least my italics fixer-upper is working nicely……..
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 09:42 PM • permalink
- #71 – Ah, much thanks, monkeyfan. A consultation with the ol’ pocketbook indicates platinum ingots aren’t in the cards, but WordPress looks quite tempting. I have few HTML/PHP chops to my name, but I can bat my come-hither eyes at a few acquaintances who do. Shaking my green booty works a treat, too, especially in that wonderful dress wronwright sent. (Some of those tech-geek types are pretty darn desperate, let me tell you).
- #14
Good luck with the losing (it’s never really lost you know, someone else finds it – like me!)What to see depends on what you are interested in. Architecture? Nature? Animals? History? I am sure lots of regulars here will help you see the sights, but I must warn you, 8 days is a very short time. Driving from Sydney to Melbourne takes 10-12 hours at best, even only stopping on short breaks for petrol and food (I hope you are flying, unless something on the journey between cities warrants a visit – I love the War Memorial in Canberra, but it’s about two hour’s drive from Sydney), travelling by coach (bus) takes about 15 hours. And we drive on the wrong side of the road – a friend of mine had a problem with that, ok going straight, but turn a corner and she’s on the wrong side of the road.
- In Sydney The Rocks area is interesting as it’s the birthplace of Sydney. A couple of cobbled streets, a few old buildings, The Argyle Cut (a road cutting through sandstone cut by the hands of convicts using picks, you can still see the pick marks). This can cover the Harbour Bridge (the south end of the bridge is close to The Rocks), and the Sydney Opera House. The rocks has interesting shops and eateries.
Manly Beach. Catch a ferry from Circular Quay, you can see the beautiful harbour.
Well, that’s one day gone.
The mountains are interesting, but a bit like waterfalls in Hawaii, seen one, seen them all.
- #103 Achillea
I have a soft spot for the usually unsung second verse of :-
God Save The Queen
O Lord our God arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall,
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On thee our hopes we fix,
God save us all!Just so you know what they were singing as they carried the burning torches down Pennsylvania Avenue.
- For info on touristy stuff google
Tourism Sydney
Tourism New South WalesTourism Melbourne
Tourism VictoriaIt’s too hot here for me to stay on the computer any longer, it’s gonna shut down soon… The .gov sites are government run tourism sites and so shouldn’t be biased (though I think operators pay them a fee? dunno).
If you google what to see in sydney you will see a column on the right hand side
with a
link this looks like a good site.Good luck, have a lovely time here!
- For info on touristy stuff google
Tourism Sydney
Tourism New South WalesTourism Melbourne
Tourism VictoriaIt’s too hot here for me to stay on the computer any longer, it’s gonna shut down soon, and I hear the rumble of thunder… The .gov sites are government run tourism sites and so shouldn’t be biased (though I think operators pay them a fee? dunno).
If you google what to see in sydney you will see a column on the right hand side
with a
link this looks like a good site.Good luck, have a lovely time here!
- Thanks Dave for protecting my back.
My real complaints are about Canadians.Many are self rightous Aholes that talk about Canadian values (European Socialism) etc. but don’t support doing anything. I mean, who does Isreal and the PLO call to sort things out. It ain’t us.
By the way, I went to the University of Manitoba in the 70’s and understand your feelings Jeffs. You still don’t get many rightist at campuses.
Posted by Go Canucks on 2005 12 28 at 10:48 PM • permalink
- #70,
It may be scored 3/4 time, but it ain’t no waltz.
The tune was ripped from an older drinking song, “Anacreon in Heaven”.
Almost unsingable, but perhaps the tune had pleasant connotations to whomever put it together with Key’s text. Then again, the newer words were an improvement over this:
To Anacreon in Heaven, where he sat in full glee,
A few sons of Harmony sent a petition,
That He their Inspirer and Patron would be;
When this answer arrived from the Jolly Old Grecian
“Voice, Fiddle, and Flute,
“no longer be mute,
“I’ll lend you my Name and inspire you to boot,
“And, besides, I’ll instruct you like me to entwine
“The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.woof
- Children, behave yourselves!!!!
Sheesh! Like monkeys in a bubblegum factory.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 28 at 11:08 PM • permalink
- Oh my god. It’s after Christmas, the font is low, so what you you all do? Spend the rest.
WELL DON’T!
(note to myself: change locks on font cabinet, for 52nd time this year; I blame sortelli; not sure why, just do)
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 28 at 11:30 PM • permalink
- This is what I wanted to say
“In the attention-deficit disorder we know as the “news cycle,” historical perspective has been replaced by celebrity photo-ops, journalistic opinion-mongering, and national navel-gazing. Absent the broader historical context, we’ve developed an exaggerated perception of Canada’s international influence, encouraged an ill-founded moral conceit and corrupted values fundamental to the preservation of our liberal democracy with the intellectual toxin of moral and cultural relativism – and with it, the very integrity of the democratic process”
Small Dead Animals
http://forums.cbc.ca/roundtable/2005/12/when_everything.htmlPosted by Go Canucks on 2005 12 28 at 11:32 PM • permalink
- What the hell is going on here?!? Rum stores broken into, puke all over the deck, women from the bum boat giggling in the hammocks, rigging all ahoo. Lt. McEnroe, throw this lot in irons; bold-fonters to be flogged around the fleet! And what’s this: Canadians coming along side? Stand by to repel boarders!
- Here’s a joke that only someone from Maine will understand:
A Texan, a Floridian, and a Mainer are sitting around a campfire.
Texan says, “In Texas, we’ve got armadilloes so big, they’ve got license plates.”
Floridian says, “That’s nothing. In Florida, we’ve got mosquitoes so big, they’ve got landing gear.”
Mainer says, “Gotcha both beat. In Maine, we got frogs so big, they hang sheetrock.”
[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That one always cracks me up!]
- Good Night & Good Luck
Reviewing the Clooney film in the liberal Washington Post, Stephen Hunter notes that Murrow was motivated to go after the Wisconsin Senator because his good friend, Laurence Duggan, who turned out to be a Soviet spy in the State Department, had been questioned about his communist ties and committed suicide. It’s clear that Murrow let his personal friendship with this secret Soviet spy cloud his judgment about the reality of Soviet espionage in the U.S. This was bad journalism, not worthy of being emulated or honored.
Seems like the lefty gene still guides a lot of Hollywood produce. See the full article here.
Review of MUNICH with observations of a wider problem in media and wet liberal attitudes here.
On account of I don’t got nothin’ to say right now!
Busy working on another killer Quotes Of The Year Collection, I hope.
Posted by The Sanity Inspector on 2005 12 29 at 12:16 AM • permalink
- Dave S. It’s true. You can see the lyrics for Advance Australia Fair here. I’m as patriotic an Aussie as you get, but I can’t help but feel that the song sucks ass.
I personally have a soft spot for Cold Chisel’s “Khe Sahn” as the de facto national anthem.
The key verse for me is this one:
You know the last plane out of Sydney’s almost gone
Only seven flying hours, and I’ll be landing in Hong Kong
There ain’t nothing like the kisses
From a jaded Chinese princess
I’m gonna hit some Hong Kong mattress all night longGenius.
- #76 Wronwright
I believe the person you are referring to as offering the services of the Princess Pats in Afghanistan was not Chiraq, but rather then Canadian PM Jean Chretien. Jacques Chirac is still President of Les Pays des Grenouilles. I’m sure that was mentioned at the last meeting of your cell of The Neocon Conspiracy. I thought I heard some snoring from the back row. Karl would be very disappointed.In Roger Hall’s novel 19 some new lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner appear.
Oh say can you sing,
from the start to the end
what the audience stands for
when the orchestra plays it?
When they start to join in
it’s a cardinal sin,
how they maul that grand song,
how they torture and slay it.
Oh the rocket’s red glare
give the bravest a scare
and there’s few left to face
the bombs bursting in air.
It’s a small band of heroes who manages to save
the Land of the Free,
and the Home of the Brave.Margo would be green with envy at our ability to afford endless supplies of bold fonts. Bwahahahahaha, The Neocon Conspracy strikes again!
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 12 29 at 01:19 AM • permalink
- Wow.
It’s a good thing this site doesn’t support the blinking font…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 12 29 at 01:20 AM • permalink
- #131 Paco
What do you mean “What’s going on?” Don’t you remember what happened the last time Tim absented himself, and we had that party at Tim’s pl…at an undisclosed location such as where VP Cheney is sent in emergencies?Wronwright says he has more of the Sumerian mead.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 12 29 at 01:25 AM • permalink
- I didn’t think it was possible not to like ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’. Certainly the 2nd-best anthem, after the Russian one (or former Soviet one, which I believe got replaced, but then was reinstated).
As for Canada, the crappy lullaby we call an anthem needs to be replaced tout de suite by ‘The Maple Leaf Forever’, which sounds especially great if played with pipe and drum bands backed by massive amounts of brass.
Of course the lyrics would have to be rewritten so as not to offend the Other Solitude …
Posted by Crispytoast on 2005 12 29 at 01:27 AM • permalink
- Waltzing Matilda may not be Australia’s National Anthem, but it’s a lot more fun to sing than the Star-Spangled Banner, especially when drunk. Of course then it’s fun to sing the Star-Spangled Banner, too. Or Who Put The Bomp In The Bomp-A-Bomp-A-Bomp, Who Put The Ram In The Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong? (Who was that man/I’d like to shake his ha-a-and/He made my Ba-ay-bee fall in love with…OK, Ned, shut up. Now.)
- OK, I’m modifying an old joke here:
An American goes to Heaven. Saint Peter takes him by the hand and leads him down a long hallway lined with doors on both sides. “I’m taking you to the American room”, he explains. “We’ll be passing a few others along the way.”
The first door they pass, there’s the sound of mugs crashing and oompah-pah music. “That’s the German room”, says Saint Pete.
The next door they pass, there’s laughter and yelling and the sound of beer taps flowing. “That’s the Australian room”, says Saint Pete.
They approach the next door, and Saint Pete whispers, “We have to be very quiet passing this one.”
“Why?”, the American whispers back.
“It’s the Canadians. They think they’re the only ones here.”
- OK, I’ll explain the joke-
In the early 1900s, lots of French Canadians came to settle in Maine. Being new immigrants learning the language, they got a reputation as dumb laborers. Sheetrock is 4’ by 8’ wallboard, and hanging sheetrock is about as unskilled as labor gets. Hence, Frogs in Maine hang sheetrock.
There’s another joke about a guy hiring a French-Canadian to paint his back porch. He hands him a bucket of green paint and says to come get him when he’s finished. The French-Canadian reports back later to say he’s all finished painting, “but dat ain’t no Porsche you got back dere, dat’s a Mercedes.”
- ekw — Actually, the Star Spangled Banner was originally set to an old British drinking song. That note no one can hit was put in there on purpose for comic effect among drunkards… although the scratching yourself part was added by Roseanne Barr…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 12 29 at 03:13 AM • permalink
- Well, that killed THAT thread!
Well done.Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 12 29 at 03:21 AM • permalink
The Australian National Anthem (Advance Australia Fair) is always more fun if sung to the tune from Gilligan’s Island.Some have also suggested Men At Work’s “ Land Down Under” would be a terrific national anthem. It almost would, however I vow to emigrate if our national anthem ever has the word “chunder” in it.
- Okay, if this keeps up we’ll blow the bolding AND the italics budget.Posted by Patrick Chester on 2005 12 29 at 03:52 AM • permalink
- Approps of nothing really – except maybe poking gentle fun at the pompous ABC….
TripleJ has a film review of The Chronicles of Narnia that lists the actors in the just released film…
oops it actually lists the actors from the 1988 BBC show!
Oh well, what do you expect for 10 cents a day!
Can any footy fans explain the lightning premiership to me?
Chinesearithmetic, pre-season competitions are organised as a lightning premiership. This is sort of like a finals series, only everyone qualifies, and there are no second chances. i.e., to win the series, you have to win every game.
Merely because I’m craving football already (only two months to go!), I’ll bore you some more.
A vast array of sponsors have funded the AFL preseason cup over the years, this year the National Australia Bank. Cigarette companies, failed airlines, mortgage companies, they’ve all had a crack.
Lost in the mists of time, this used to be a carnival for the teams that didn’t make the finals, called the night premiership – night games then being a complete oddity and not a regular fixture (gosh, remember when the entire round was over by 5pm Saturday?). They used to hold the VFL one at Lakeside Oval (which the Swans once called home) under dim lights and several inches of mud. Melbourne is so football mad though that the AFL realised that it could milk more cash out of the game by promoting this competition more seriously. Now it’s a full-blown competition, albeit with a not particularly treasured prize at the end. Sort of like what World Series Cricket was to test cricket.
As discussed here, half the teams take the competition seriously, and the rest all have bigger dreams than a cheap trophy and some cash. It’s typically where young, up & coming teams first make their mark though. Most teams that have won the Methadone Cup have gone on to successful premiership seasons thereafter.
- On a serious note there is a certain song written by a Jewish immigrant from Russia that arguably should be the US national anthem. Certainly it was the song that members of Congress instinctively chose to sing on the steps of the Capitol building on the afternoon of 11 September 2001. Or at least the last verse of it.
While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free,
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer:God Bless America.
Land that I love
Stand beside her, and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America
My home sweet homeGod Bless America,
Land that I love
Stand beside her,
And guide her,
Through the night
With the light from above,
From the mountains,
To the prairies,
To the ocean,
White with foam,
God bless America,
My home sweet home.
God bless America
My home sweet home.I saw this live on the morning of 12 September 2001 (as it was here). I had already been watching transfixed, stunned, for hours unable to speak. My face was already wet. Then I saw this. Then I lost it.
God bless America
Amen
- At once stage Song of Australia was a contender for our National Anthem, to a fine setting by Australia’s most musical composer, Carl Linger. It has evocative, patriotic words and is eminently singable.
At primary school in the 50s we sang this regularly. I reckon it’s far better than Advance Australia Fair, which is a turgid durge.
There is a land where summer skies
are gleaming with a thousand dyes;
blending in witching harmonies, in harmonies;
and grassy knoll and forest height,
are flushing in the rosy light,
and all above is azure bright –
Australia, Australia, Australia!Music here.
Posted by walterplinge on 2005 12 29 at 04:19 AM • permalink
- 22 December 2005 Andrew Symonds. Why is this man still in the test team?
28 December 2005 Andrew Symonds bowls
29 December 2005 Andrew Symonds bats and bowls
The question is, why was the question asked, why is this man still in the test team?Posted by stackja1945 on 2005 12 29 at 05:59 AM • permalink
- I sense a blowout party on this thread come Friday. And not a moment too soon. In fact, this time even Tim can come! Or do we really, actually want Tim to come…? Hmmm…
Ah, what the hell. He can come. What harm could he possibly do? Hmmm…
No, no, no, he can come. I don’t know what I’m worried about, it is his place after all.
Hmmmmm…
Ah, hell, yeah. If it gets to weird we’ll give him money for the show and wronwright can take him. Oh. I’m bringing a case of Jack. You guys can bring whatever you want to drink.
- I want to know why I’m paying an extra two cents a day for the ABC!
Especially because of this outrageous lefty bias.
- Caller to local (Syden-ey) abc tonight slipped through the net and,asked what he would remember 2005 for,-said “the extraordinary generosity of all Austrayans after the tsunami and – the change in attitude of Austrayans to multiculturalism..”
The caller before asked lots of passionately rhetorical questions about the villainy of John Howard.No doubt no-one else would have breeched their defences so,sighing contentedly,I switched off…
- That certain texture, that certain beat,
Brings forth the night time heat.Out on the patio we’d sit,
And the humidity we’d breathe,
We’d watch the lightning crack over canefields
Laugh and think that this is Australia.Sounds Of Then, Gangajang.
- #61 Jeff S.—much appreciated.
#75 Andrea—yeah, yeah, talk it up.
#92 Helen W.—wow, Upper Canada’s was 1791 so you definitely win on that one. Not that either jurisdiction would have been much good for cotton ;o)
#156 Dave S.—A southern Ontario joke (coming from Maggaddino country, you will dig it).
Q. What do you get when you cross an octopus with an Italian?
A. I dunno, but you should see it lay bricks.
- If you happen to be into indie rock music, there are a lot of interesting things going on in the Great White North right now. Apparently, during the hockey strike lots of bored Canadians started bands.
Also (it’s already been mentioned but bears repeating), Kids in the Hall is pretty much one of the best things ever.
Also, “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” really should be the national anthem of both Canada AND Michigan. Gordon Lightfoot kicks so much ass.
“I believe the person you are referring to as offering the services of the Princess Pats in Afghanistan was not Chiraq, but rather then Canadian PM Jean Chretien.”
Oh thanks so much Michael for making me look like a complete nincompoop before all the minions. Yes, it was Chretien, not Chiraq. But my point was that George Bush asked help from an arrogant Francophone ass with a French name, who responded by prancing on tippy toes while tsk tsking that America must be a better country.
And by the way, thanks for correcting me when I mentioned that the British Prime Minister was Tim Blair. In front of Karl Rove. And Richard Cheney. While I was presenting an overview of the global warming project. With President Bush piped in via teleconference. Yes, those guffaws of laughter at my expense just made my day. For one whole month, I had neocon bigwigs come up to me, hold out an American Express card, and ask “hey, do you know me?” Everytime that happened, I would just smile, chuckle at their clever joke, retreat to my little cubicle, and kick the trash can. The latter is a battered up piece of plastic at this point.
(note to self: write Michael Lonie’s name in Book of Holy Retribution, Volume II)
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 29 at 12:49 PM • permalink
- Okay, so my corrective follow-up comment to my longer, stupider comment DOES appear, but the longer, stupider, earlier comment does NOT appear? Actually that probably saves me some embarassment…Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2005 12 29 at 03:22 PM • permalink
- but it certainly has us all intrigued…Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 12 29 at 03:33 PM • permalink
- What’s good about Canada?Posted by Rittenhouse on 2005 12 29 at 03:49 PM • permalink
- Sorry that link didn’t work out of Yahoo context.
Try this one.
Posted by Rittenhouse on 2005 12 29 at 03:51 PM • permalink
- Andrea (#77):
SCTV may have been produced in Toronto, but nearly all of the comedians were from Chicago’s Second City, a famous (well, at least to us) improv comedy club in what was quaintly known as “New Town”; thus, Second City TV.
Although, I do wonder if Great White North was the inspiration for Marvel Comics’ Alpha Flight (and maybe even—gasp—Wolverine? …).
Although, I do wonder if Great White North was the inspiration for Marvel Comics’ Alpha Flight (and maybe even—gasp—Wolverine? …).
They absolutely were. John Byrne, former Canuck, created most of those characters.
Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2005 12 29 at 05:47 PM • permalink
- Challeron (#188), nope. Of the early SCTV cast, Andrea Martin and Joe Flaherty were USans and the rest were Canadians.
Mind you, Flaherty’s relationship to SCTV was analogous to Levon Helm’s in The Band; the others may have been “the talent,” but he was the one with the mind that made the whole thing work.
- Dan Lewis
Glad someone else saw this one. Much like the riots we used to have where we’d apparently ignore the people stoning and hitting us and go and beat women and children… Hey it was on the ABC so it musdt be true!Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2005 12 29 at 06:51 PM • permalink
- From one of Tims Blog Ads;
Most people have no idea that sheep raised for wool are often mutilated and castrated without painkillers, then disposed of by being shipped thousands of miles on open-deck, multitiered ships through all weather extremes, and eventually slaughtered while fully conscious.
sing soprano with the Vienna Boys Choir….;).Jesus that has to hurt.
- #181
(note to self: write Michael Lonie’s name in Book of Holy Retribution, Volume II)I figured I was already in Vol. I, after I sent you that case of Turtlewax when you were promoted to Minion 2nd Class in charge of waxing black helicopters. As for the other, I thought I was whispering low enough that they would not catch it. You should not have turned up the volume on the microphones so much.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 12 29 at 08:27 PM • permalink
- Make that “Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offenses”
“The boat has passed under and is now out of their reach. Let me explain what the five [Indians] did–you would not be able to reason it out for yourself. No. 1 jumped for the boat, but fell in the water astern of it. Then No. 2 jumped for the boat, but fell in the water still farther astern of it. Then No. 3 jumped for the boat, and fell a good way astern of it. Then No. 4 jumped for the boat, and fell in the water away astern. Then even No. 5 made a jump for the boat–for he was a Cooper Indian. In the matter of intellect, the difference between a Cooper Indian and the Indian that stands in front of the cigarshop is not spacious.”
In front of Karl Rove. And Richard Cheney
I was there too. I dined out on that story for weeks.
Of course, if it makes you feel any better, I believe Chretien the Cretien is related by marriage to some of the big Froggy muckamucks (excuse me, les muque-a-muqués) involved in the OFF scandal.
Dave S. —Twain on Cooper? As in “If a man talks like a hand-tooled, gilt-lettered Friendship Offering at the start of a sentence, he should not talk like a traveling minstral by its end…”?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 12 29 at 08:35 PM • permalink
- #180 Thanks for jogging that wretched song Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald out of the slag-pits of my memory. It does deserve to be the Canadian natl anthem, & not in a good way.
When I was a little boy, I lived in Oklahoma, & we had to learn the Rogers & Hammerstein song which is in fact the state song of Oklahoma. You haven’t lived till you’ve heard a roomful of third graders shrieking “Ooooooooo-klahoma! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains!”
Then we moved to New Mexico, & I had to learn “O Fair New Mexico”, which was a comedown
Posted by beautifulatrocities on 2005 12 29 at 09:12 PM • permalink
- A phrase from Mark Twain’s dissection of Cooper has stayed with me from boyhood: “one of his acute Indian experts, Chingachgook (pronounced Chicago, I think).”
He wasn’t very fond of Jane Austen, either:
Jane Austen’s books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.
– Following the EquatorProbably some professional jealousy was involved.
“#202 I figured I was already in Vol. I, after I sent you that case of Turtlewax when you were promoted to Minion 2nd Class in charge of waxing black helicopters.”
You are. I have you in both books now. With exclamation marks and post it notes drawing my attention to you. Of course, I have quite a few post it notes, relating to a whole menagerie of evil doers. Starting with the thieves that picked the font cabinet and stole the caps, the italics (that little larceny started a diplomatic tiff with the Italic ambassador), and the bold.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 29 at 09:29 PM • permalink
- 1. I’m the best blogger in the world. Anyone who disagrees with me is a communist
2. New Zealand isn’t a country, it’s a collective insecurity complex
3. American football sucks
4. John Wayne couldn’t act his way out of a shithouse
5. Islam is worthless
6. The bandwagon is right: Pajamas Media sucks donkey balls.
7. Angelina Jolie isn’t sexy. She’s Mick Jagger with tits.
8. John Lennon was an arsehole.
9. Three great idiot-detectors: 1) People who thought ‘The Corporation’ was a great documentary, 2) people who think the ‘Palestinians’ should have ‘their land’ given ‘back’ to them, 3) Anyone who goes to a Tony Robbins seminar
10. ‘fear & loathing in las vegas’ was an unreadable pile of shit.
11. People who want to ban flag-burning are retards.
12. Listening to national anthems is slightly preferable to being ass-raped with a belt-sander.
13. Vegetables were invented by communists
14. ‘Family Guy’ isn’t that good
15. Supermodels are not attractive. Frankly, most of them are about as sexy as the arse-end of a rhino
- Speaking of Mark Twain, I seem to recall from my college freshman writing textbook an example of a letter not to write. It was a letter written by Twain to the utility company. It went something like this [please excuse the profanities]:
Dear God Damned Electric Company,
One wonders how god damn stupid one god damn set of god damn ignoramuses could be that would make them keep god damn messing up one god damn electric bill.
The textbook went on to say that Twain’s daughter refused to allow him to mail the letter.
Does anyone know where I can find a copy of this letter? I’d like to use it as a model for others as to how not to write a business letter.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 29 at 10:23 PM • permalink
My absolute guiltiest pleasure as a man is Jane Austen.
Well, since you said yours, I will confess three of mine. I love The Sound of Music and love the little Von Trapp kids. “Hello, farewell, aufweiderwein, good nite”.
Second, I cried when I watched Pollyanna. I really did, at the end, when she got run over by a car and became paralyzed. Damn Model A, damn it to hell.
And lastly, I watched The Parent Trap when I was 14 and fell in love with Hayley Mills. I became heartbroken when I discovered that the movie was made in 1961 and she was 14, my age, back then. I knew then I could never have Hayley Mills.
~ Sigh ~
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 29 at 10:42 PM • permalink
- Tex, take #3 off your list and I almost think you’re right.
If you ever saw her in person you’d take #7 away as well. Guarantee it, Bro.
And while most of the models do, indeed, look awful on the page, my second point is in effect here, also. When face-to-face with some of these girls, no hetero male would be that unmoved.
Dave S., did you get props for your ‘prufrock’ joke? If not, good one. Or, did I give you that yesterday? Someone, please kill me.
Hey, I just noticed we at least have a new :(bigger) butt to look at in the PETA blogad.
Yes, I noticed the new photo. Not as nice as the last one. And she looks so sad. However, I think that look is faked, as she lacks the Leftie Compassionate Head Tilt™.
Overall, a definite drop in quality from the PETA photo gallery. They won’t get as many clicks from this chick.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 29 at 11:31 PM • permalink
- Like the Sun King, I was appointed as the Keeper of the Font Cabinet by God. Ok, Karl made me keep the key on a chain and wear it around my neck like a stupid sheep dog. It’s a thankless task, no one gives me any compensation for it. And I customarily get yelled at if Karl gets a bill from Halliburton for an early shipment of bolds or caps. I’ve changed the lock on that damn cabinet more times than I care to remember but I think someone has been able to pick them open.
I might have to stand guard with an AK47. I don’t want to do it. I’m TOO GOOD for that minion type of task. Maybe I’ll give it to Stoop Davy Dave. But can I trust him with a Russian assault rifle?
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 30 at 12:06 AM • permalink
- wronwright…(deep breath, deep breath) wronwright…(close eyes, ask help from Holy Spirit, try again) wronwright…(close eyes again, feel your body calming down, feel your heartbeats slowing, remember to breathe) wrongwright, this has gone about as far as it bloody ought. Please. Do not tell me you cry at Pollyana. ‘Kay? Just…not…that.
Now, the other thing, about Hayley Mills, I’m with you there. Difference between us is that I thought I absolutely not only could have her, but that I was entitled to her. Turns out I wasn’t, but a mate, apparently, was (he was an actor). We were all in our twenties, and his stories of what she liked and how insatiable she was drove me into a deep depression from which I have yet to fully emerge.
“Do not tell me you cry at Pollyana.”
Yes I did. I admit it. I might be a manly person with great urges directly entirely towards the female side of our species. But something touched me deeply about poor Pollyanna. Why, why did it have to happen to her?
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 30 at 12:18 AM • permalink
- Are you truthful about the Hayley Mills stuff? I would like to believe she’s wholesome, except for that one special guy. Then she dresses up in a merry widow, preferably black, and transforms into a tigress.
I might need details. Maybe at the next “Tim Blair Left so Let’s Party” session at his house. Pictures too if you have them.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 30 at 12:21 AM • permalink
- Alas, wronwight old pal, this was years ago, and my actor friend was given to tall tales as are many people who seek approval. However, while I know what sort of transgressive sex he said she “wanted”, I was inclined at the time to dismiss this out of hand. It’s not that it was so unbelievable, it was that it was coming from him. But she became known, as time wasted by, as a bit of a movieland trollop, so he might not have been lying altogether.
The one special guy was certainly not him, but more likely a succession of young fellows from actors to electricians from the movie sets she was working on. I never met her, myself, so I have no idea about any details except that one, transgressive, sexual…
- Cuc-koooo, cuc-koooo.Posted by wronwright on 2005 12 30 at 02:50 AM • permalink
- I can well understand the maudlin sentimentality over Jane Austen. The latest Economist has an article about personal finance in Jane Austen’s time called “Percents and sensibility.” My glasses are still fogged up.
“ Clearly the financial markets of Jane Austen’s time were not sophisticated. There were no alternatives to easily tradeable, interest-bearing securities, ands lots of people wanted them. [sob choke]
“ From a speculator’s point of view, this was a lively market. The fact that early bonds had no fixed maturity date ensured any change in interest rate was fully reflected in the capital value of the bond. Rates in return, fluctuated in response to foreign affairs in general and military ones in particular. When the British won a battle, investors anticipated the day that the government would stop issuing new bonds and turn to buying old ones… Rates fell and values rose. When British forces lost, investors anticipated new issues coming to market, and the opposite happened.[sniff, sob cough sob]
“One officer rushed from Portsmouth to London with forged despatches proclaiming the fall of Paris and the rout of Napoleon, while at the coffee houses his confederates sold into the rising market and netted about 10,000 pounds”. [ That’s it no no enough I just can’t go on]
- Lord Strathcona’s Horse (Royal Canadians), my Regiment.
Cheers
JMHPosted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2005 12 30 at 05:21 AM • permalink
- Oddly enough, I adore Jane Austen.Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 12 30 at 11:30 AM • permalink
- And I thought the Prufrock pun was brilliant.
bastard
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 12 30 at 11:30 AM • permalink
- I may have to read Ann Radcliffe again over the weekend, PacoPosted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 12 30 at 02:41 PM • permalink
:^/