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Last updated on July 16th, 2017 at 02:11 pm
Who’s to blame for global warming? Everybody, especially the regal moose. But wait! In other moose-related climate news, Georgia’s Jim C. emails:
Here’s another actual weather happening that doesn’t quite support the worldwide consensus of warm-mongers. As you well know, up north here mid-August is the height of summer.
And this week the great state of Maine had frost warnings out. I kid you not. Lots of green there in Maine too. Have the moose and bears joined forces against humanity’s warming work?
Someone got to our moosey pals. They’ve turned.
UPDATE. Natural enemy of the tree: celebrities.
All I can say is thank God the Buffalo on the prairies have been pushed to the edge of extinction.
Makes you wonder what amount of methane a plankton eating whale pushes out the back end in a day?Posted by the nailgun on 2007 08 23 at 12:01 AM • permalink
- Norwegian scientists have determined that emissions per annum of carbon dioxide from a grown moose can equal that of a 13,000 kilometer auto trip. Then there’s the methane too.
Norway’s Moose Population in Trouble for Belching
If each moose could be fitted with a methane collector, our fuel problems could be over.Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 08 23 at 12:31 AM • permalink
I guess we should have taken one for Mother Gaia by the bull moose that crossed the road in front of us in Vermont the other day. Damn our selfish desire for self-preservation!
Stupid moose are a big problem. A moose bit my sister once.Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 08 23 at 12:38 AM • permalink
Crud – damned perview. I meant to say that we should’ve hit the moose – it’s what the Goracle would have wanted.Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 08 23 at 12:40 AM • permalink
It’s not just mooses (moosen?).
Now, potato peels are killing the earth.
mind you, moose farts can be pretti nasti…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 23 at 12:42 AM • permalink
Where is Bullwinkle J Moose when we need him.
“Frostbite Falls”, IIRCPosted by AlburyShifton on 2007 08 23 at 12:47 AM • permalink
#9 Potato peels don’t kill, vegetarians do.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 23 at 12:51 AM • permalink
- Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 08 23 at 12:54 AM • permalink
Not only Moose and Potatoe peelings either. Apparently sheep that eat salt bush burp methane like there is no tomorrow!
Heard that one on Eion Cameron’s Breakfast show on the ABC this week. He has gone to the darkside recently on enviro crap – but he was a Hewson supporter so I guess that explains a lot.
Oh, look at that, Razor, sheep burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!
- Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 23 at 02:14 AM • permalink
- Ok, we kill and eat all the mooses, it’s just humane with all this global warming anyway.
But what about termites? Some scientists claim they’re the worst farters.Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 08 23 at 03:28 AM • permalink
I hope the moose freeze their balls off and stop reproducing. Dumb sons-of-bitches scare the shit out of me when I’m driving home. You hit one, you die. They just lumber in the road completely oblivious to the 3,000-pound metal boxes whizzing around at 50 mph. At least deer dart; these imbecilic lummoxes just loiter. My buddy who hunts tells me he bagged one just for the head – the hunt itself sucked, because the dopey bastards just stand there waiting to be shot like a 50-year-old traveling salesman whose whiskey can’t blot out the walls of another Nebraska motel room.
Useless animals. They kill as stupidly as they die. Fuck ‘em.
First, we catch moose and squirrel…Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 08 23 at 05:40 AM • permalink
#28 Dave, my brother lived many years in Alaska and once, when down in the Lower 48 he was venting about the wacky impressions people have about Alaska – according to him it was just like anywhere else and he was tired of people asking “What’s it like up there?”
Later in the conversation I asked what brought him down, and he said it was to buy a new car. He totaled the old one running into a moose.
After a pause I said “yeah, that happens all the time in New Mexico and Nebraska and like that.”
Later in the same conversation he mentioned the show Northern Exposure, still on TV, and said it was just like small town Alaska. Every little town has a bunch of recycled hippies (the hardier variety of the species), a couple guys hiding out from something, and at least one retired NASA scientist.Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 08 23 at 05:51 AM • permalink
After the Sonny Bono thing, were the trees really expecting no consequences whatsoever?Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 08 23 at 06:46 AM • permalink
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a Prius out of my hat…Posted by Alan K. Henderson on 2007 08 23 at 09:26 AM • permalink
Well, duh. Think about it. When was the last time you loaned money to a moose? Or let one hold onto your wallet and watch so you could go back into the pub and finish a fight?
When was the last time you let a moose watch your children while you went out for an evening on the town?
NO one trusts the mooses. (Or is it meese?)
Sometimes a stereotype is based on good, solid reason.
Efforts to develop an E-Moose failed when the moose gored two technicians trying to insert the extension cord…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 23 at 10:25 AM • permalink
But moose are being killed by Global Warming!Posted by andycanuck on 2007 08 23 at 10:27 AM • permalink
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a Prius out of my hat…
That trick NEVER works!Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 08 23 at 11:26 AM • permalink
Getting rid of non-native trees is, generally, a good idea on Kauai.Posted by Harry Eagar on 2007 08 23 at 12:31 PM • permalink
so the nonnative rich haole broad is uprooting the nonnative trees? Red on Red!Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 23 at 03:01 PM • permalink
But what about termites? Some scientists claim they’re the worst farters.
According to one of my sons-in-law, who grew up in east Africa, and a college classmate who grew up in backcountry Brazil, locals would eat them. You could even get them, or red ants, toasted like popcorn in movie theaters.
I have to agree with my s-i-l that raw termites basically taste like Crisco(tm), though. Much better toasted and salted. (We don’t have many termites out here, but did find a few dry-wood termites in some old exterior trim on the house earlier this summer. Checked thoroughly, and they never spread from that one piece of wood, fortunately.)
#24 – I once ate a beaver. Tasted dam good.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 08 23 at 08:13 PM • permalink
Infidel Tiger—then Rudd saw what you were doing and ran out of the bar…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 23 at 08:25 PM • permalink
On the other hand, moose droppings are very tasty.
Meese.Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 08 25 at 06:06 AM • permalink
- Those Alaskan towns remind me of Mt Isa, Queensland.
I was having a beer in the pub when the police sergeant came in with a sheaf of child maintenance orders and arrest warrants and starting calling out names.Three quarters of the clientele downed their beers and slid out the back door.Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 08 25 at 11:31 PM • permalink
Where is Bullwinkle J Moose when we need him.