“no one can believe that a tree is more powerful than a human”

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 06:51 am

Fatah vs. Hamas? That’s nothing. Prepare for the coming war between sap-drunk Christian greens and tree-hacking Islamic avengers:

Churches around Maine will be showing a film about climate change this week and next as part of an unprecedented nationwide push by faith-based groups to encourage people to view the care-taking of the environment as a spiritual obligation.

“Our focus is on mobilizing a religious response to global warming,” Bill Bradlee, managing director of Interfaith Power and Light, said Tuesday …

“I do see this as a spiritual issue,” said Rosalie Deri, a Quaker in Farmington.

Go tell it to Jakarta’s branch-lopping Islamic youth, Rosalie:

A hard-line Muslim youth group chopped up a 100-year-old banyan tree in central Jakarta to prove it did not have mystical powers, as rumors had led some locals to believe …

The head of the Muslim youth group acknowledged attacking the banyan, saying it did so to prove that there was nothing mystical about it.

“Surely, no one can believe that a tree is more powerful than a human,” Zainal Arifin was quoted as saying by the Detik.Com news Web site. “We did this to propagate Islam.”

Oh, clever move, Zainal. Now you’ve got Gaia pissed, and she’s not the kind to respond by organising an interfaith discussion and hand-holding ceremony. And, once you’ve been smited by Gaia, believe me, you will know you have been smited. You’re aware of “disproportionate response”? That crazy Earth God Lady invented it. Good luck finding an off-planet hideout, you future-bitch-of-Gaia.

UPDATE. The world’s tallest tree is now one foot shorter, due to wahhabist woodpeckers.

Posted by Tim B. on 10/04/2006 at 01:10 PM
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