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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 02:31 pm
• Remember Washingtonienne? No? You sure? Whatever; she’s broke.
• Also from the where-are-they-now file, an update on union activist and former Big Brother contestant Tim Brunero: “He is now employed as a spruiker for the Royal Hotel and spends his time wandering around Sydney Uni grabbing the arms of unsuspecting philosophy students and breathing unpleasantly in their faces while extolling the virtues of bingo night and happy hour.”
• Bryan Law’s futile gesture tribe rides again.
• A koala at Taronga Zoo is named after Tim Flannery. Here the charismatic marsupial delivers a $50,000 speech to rapt admirers while dreaming of a better life in Geothermia.
• “I’ve always believed in the power of music as a potent catalyst for social change,” says Traceeee Hutchison. That’s just great.
• John Pilger and friends stand up for a shutdown: “We believe that the decision of the Venezuelan government not to renew the broadcasting licence of RCTV when it expires on May 27 is legitimate …”
• Pilger’s latest crapumentary will soon be shown in Australia: “The John Pilger documentary, The War on Democracy, has been sold by Paris-based Coach 14 to Lionsgate for the U.K. and Hopscotch for Australia and New Zealand.” Way to go, John; you’re making money from globalisation andwar!
• News you can use: “Bald men in Germany have no right to state-funded wigs, according to a new court ruling.”
• Old-timey leftist Alexander Cockburn continues in his role as the Hitchens of global warming: “No response is more predictable than the reflexive squawk of the greenhouse fearmongers that anyone questioning their claims is in the pay of the energy companies. A second, equally predictable retort contrasts the ever-diminishing number of agnostics with the growing legions of scientists now born again to the ‘truth’ that anthropogenic CO2 is responsible for the earth’s warming trend.”
• Nice line from Mike G.: “The Left these days is made up of people congratulating themselves that in 1939, they’d have had the guts to stand up … to Churchill.”
• AAP reports: “Climate change gave much of Australia’s drought-stricken east coast its warmest May on record … Sydney had its warmest May since 1958, but could have hit an all-time high if it wasn’t for a spell of cool nights in the past week.” (Via Francis H., who notes: “So we now have an argument that goes along the lines of ‘If it wasn’t for the cold weather, global warming would be worse’.”)
• AAP is also apparently responsible for making University of NSW climate change research centre co-director Andy Pitman look like an idiot.
• Where are all the human shields?
• New blogs (new to me, that is) soon to be added at left: Pizza Trays and Beer Bottles and Lenin’s Tomb (the latter by wonderful Juan Gato,).
• First rule of watchblog sites: they must themselves be worth watching. This ain’t.
• “I recommend scrolling through all of this,” emails Evil Pundit. “In other news, it seems my blog is dead, at least until August at the earliest. And I can’t even post a note on it to explain that.”
• Always bet on the grizzly: “She tore apart the chest cavity, ripped out the heart and ate it … It was like she knew that’s what kept it alive.” Her victim: an Alaskan moose.
• “Is anthropogenic global warming a religion?” asks Guy Smith. “Certainly, and one only slightly less militant than Wahhabism.”
• Belgian troops are preparing for war against caterpillars.
• Peter Foster reviews The Assault on Reason: “The most stunning – and frightening – aspect of Gore’s bipolar book is that he constantly calls for more discussion and public input, but when it comes to his obsession, man-made climate change, he declares the debate closed.”
• Speaking of Al: “UWA Environmental Services invites yout to a FREE screening of the award winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth in the lead up to World Environment Day. This inspirational documentary features former US Vice President Al Gore’s fervent crusade to halt global warming’s deadly progress by exposing the myths and misconceptions that surround it.”
• The Guardian usually isn’t inclined to support monarchy, but makes an exception in the case of Gore: “Man who should be king”.
• A spectacular threat from genocidal Sudan: “Try to stop the killings in Darfur, and we’ll take away your Coca-Cola.” (Via Tone Deaf Mushroom.)
• Tim Lambert: “I’ve been doing a little research …” Well, that’s better than none.
• Loewenstein loses. Gideon Haigh wins.
- Bet on the caterpillars, too.Posted by Clubbeaux on 2007 06 02 at 12:47 PM • permalink
- ermm, sorry. This should have been posted under the German beer post, but I can’t keep up with Tim.
It was a day in late spring and the air conditioner was on the fritz and it was hot as a bucket of hell’s rivets. For the first time in memory, I actually wished that Al Gore had been in town, but he was in Australia, somewhere, presumably teaching aborigines how to build igloos. I looked out of the window and saw Bogan chasing a cat; it was so hot, they were both walking. Because of the oppressive heat, I had granted Sheila and myself a casual day at work. Sheila had come in wearing cut-off jeans and a tank top (which didn’t cool me off at all). I wore a double-breasted suit, wing-tips, cotton shirt and a silk tie – but no pocket handkerchief (that’s as casual as the detective’s dress code allows). The humidity was making my panama hat sprout shoots. I was wondering, in that random-association way that sometimes comes over you when you’re half-dazed from the heat, if I could grow some new hats.
A thought struck me. Air conditioner on the fritz . Fritz. Then I remembered. A German beer brewer by the name of Helmut Erdmann was in town and had made an appointment to see me today. I looked at my watch; he was due right about now, as a matter of fact.
Sheila had gone out to nag the landlord about fixing the AC, so when my client arrived he helped himself to the office door and shuffled in. He was a short, stocky guy, with a body built along the lines of a Highland cow, and with a head like a salt-lick and a walrus mustache; sort of a pint-sized Bismark.
“Ach! I am zo glad to meet you, Herr Paco! I haff zuch a problem and I am hoping dat you can help me, bitte!
Have a seat, Mr. Erdmann. What can I do for you? Kegs being pilfered on the docks? Employees siphoning off the suds?”
“Nein, nein, nuttink zo zimple as dat, Herr Paco. You zee, I am de director of Aying Brewery in Bavaria, and ve are facing huge increases in de prize of barley. De farmers are divertink de land to growing corn for de biofuels industry, and zo, de prize of barley, it keeps goink up. Ve haff to keep increasink de prize of our beer. Und, ach du lieber!, de customers are complainink.”
When he talked about beer, Erdmann’s ice-blue eyes gleamed like those of a Teutonic Knight who’d just stumbled onto a group of unescorted Latvian milk maids. I couldn’t see what I could do for him, though.
“Mr. Erdmann, I’m a private detective, not a commodities speculator. What is it you want me to do?”
“Herr Paco. You are good at de investigations, nicht wahr? Perhabz you can show up diss global varmink for de hoax it iss, and de farmers, dey go back to plantink barley.”
“Well, that’s a pretty tall order, Mr. Erdmann. You see . . .” At that moment, Sheila came into the office.
To be continued
- “Excuse me, Paco. I wouldn’t have intruded, but I’ve got a registered letter for you. You need to sign for it.”
She walked briskly toward my desk. She had spent Memorial Day weekend at the beach, and was thoroughly bronzed. Her long, golden hair flounced about her shoulders, and her breasts bounced lightly, and with that provocative ripple effect unique to a firm, but ample, bosom. She dropped the letter on my desk, turned, and got her first eyeful of Erdmann.
He had risen from his chair and was staring at her; he might have been Sigurd ogling Brunhilde. His already florid complexion marched double-time through the spectrum, changing from crimson to magenta in seconds, and although his mouth was moving, the only sounds that emerged were little mewing noises.
Sheila cocked an eyebrow, pursed her lips and quickly folded her arms in front of her prow. “You need a glass of water, mister? Maybe a nitroglycerine pill?”
“Gott in Himmel!, he muttered under his breath. “It’s de St. Pauli girl!
Suddenly, I got an idea. “Look, Mr. Erdmann. Maybe you’re going about this thing the wrong way. Right now, you can’t do much about your expenses, but what about boosting your revenues, over and above the cost of the barley? Maybe a marketing gimmick is what you need.”
“Bleeze. Vat is diss . . . ‘marketink gimmick’ of vhich you speak?”
“Well, what sort of advertising do you do? What are your symbols, your logos?”
“Oh, I zee. Vell, one of our beers hass a picture of a house on de label. Anodder one hass a picture of two goats . . .”
“Goats? I think I’m beginning to see your problem. Why don’t you call a modeling agency and find your own version of the St. Pauli girl?”
“Ja, ja. Diss girl. She makes de St. Pauli girl look like a Trüffelschwein.”
“Er, Sheila, that will be all.” Sheila tossed her head and glided out of the room; if anything, her stern action mover Erdmann even closer to a stroke. Erdmann thanked me and hurried out of the office.
The air conditioner suddenly began humming, and I felt a blast of refreshing cold air. I walked into the waiting room and asked Sheila how she had managed to get our landlord, a notorious procrastinator, to get the thing fixed. She gave me a wicked smile. “Simple. I bent over and picked up a pencil he had dropped on the floor. He was grateful.”
“What, for the pencil?” I gave her a wink and headed back to the office.
- Peter Foster:
Al Gore foams and bubbles . . .
. . . yes, he does – in a pedantic and condescending monotone, no less.Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 02 at 02:09 PM • permalink
- Maybe I’m missing something, but this is not a sexy woman.Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 06 02 at 02:18 PM • permalink
- Damn you Tim, you made me waste 15 minutes reading tracee’s outpouring of suburban sentimentality.
But since I’ve already wasted that time, aniother coupkle of minutes won’t make a whole hill of beans.
At one point, she rhetorizes: What kind of paternalistic idiocy has informed the English-language impositions on young Aboriginal students by the federal Indigenous Affairs Minister?
And in the enxt paragraph she wants to demand the implementation of strategies to rectify the 17-year life expectancy gap between black and white Australians
But isn’t she hear demanding more paternalism?
It has been my my observation in Australia that that 17 year gap may be due to consumption of alcohol, gasoline, and attempting to live in impoverished remote areasPosted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 06 02 at 02:58 PM • permalink
(Bryan Law) entered the facility because it played a role in the targeting of missiles in Iraq and was involved in “crimes against humanity”…A sign was also hung renaming the facility Pine Gap Terror Base, which was then amended to Pine Gap Peace Base.
I hope Bryan and Helen Caldicott go worldwide to prevent crimes against humanity. Bryan Law : World Police. Imagine Bryan replacing the welcome sign on the North Korean border with one that reads “(not very) Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.” Tyranny will crumble and world peace will be just around the corner.
Frankly, he needs to put more effort into his appearance. His portly Jesus look was classic. Currently he looks like a disgruntled sheep farmer sheared him. Bring back the fat Jesus!Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 06 02 at 02:58 PM • permalink
- Thanks to you, Tim, I’m now solidly positioned in Gum Arabic futures, and bound to make a pile when Sudan cuts off supplies.
Probably too late for the rest of you, though….Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 06 02 at 03:11 PM • permalink
- It’s time to just start slapping people like Pilger in public every time they’re seen…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 02 at 03:16 PM • permalink
- Which reminds me: no more updates from Bryla?Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 02 at 03:17 PM • permalink
#5 Maybe I’m missing something, but this is not a sexy woman
She doesn’t do much for me. I think she was kind of trampy. Some people confuse slutty and sexy.
I didn’t post anything w/r/t my birthday because I wanted to see who would remember vs. who would disappoint.
Crazy tests. And she brags about her crazy tests.Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 06 02 at 03:23 PM • permalink
- From the BBC in the human shields link:
Are you from this part of Lebanon? Have you been caught up in the fighting? Send us your accounts of what’s happening.
Hmmm…No byline on this article which is sourced from unidentified “reports”. Is the BBC having difficulty in finding a reporter prepared to demonise the Lebanese Army?
Peter Foster reviews The Assault on Reason: “The most stunning – and frightening – aspect of Gore’s bipolar book is that he constantly calls for more discussion and public input, but when it comes to his obsession, man-made climate change, he declares the debate closed.”
Nothing surprising there. To the Goreacle and the Gorebots, “discussion and public input” means them telling other people how to live, while accepting carefully crafted “suggestions” from among their own ranks on what the rest of the world should sacrifice. Real discussion—dissent, conflicting opinions, facts that challenge their assertions—is held by them to be “oppression” and “censorship”.
They’re totalitarians. Someday, if we’re lucky, “Assault on Reason” will be shelved next to “Mein Kampf”, “Das Kapital”, and Mao’s “Little Red Book”.
If we’re not lucky, we’ll be living under the environmentally-friendly jackboots of the True Believers.Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 06 02 at 06:16 PM • permalink
- She really should have airbrushed out the cleavage wrinkles in her header image. I mean, I’m looking at the page on an antique IBM laptop and I can see them.Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 06 02 at 06:57 PM • permalink
- Actually she had one other notable quality. She liked to take it, well, um, how should I put it. In the ass. I’m not sure why I remember that but I can’t remember my wife’s birthday.Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 02 at 07:19 PM • permalink
- Young Traciiiiii believes in emotional, teary outpourings to…Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 02 at 08:06 PM • permalink
- #5: “Maybe I’m missing something, but this is not a sexy woman.”
Bruce, I expect what you’re missing is what she’s willing to do. [Just a guess, you understand. ;-p]
“Washingtonienne … is broke”
And I’m supposed to care because….?Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 06 02 at 09:00 PM • permalink
A koala at Taronga Zoo is named after Tim Flannery.
Maybe an Aussie reader can correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t koalas smell like sh*t?Posted by andycanuck on 2007 06 02 at 09:18 PM • permalink
So it wasn’t Fatso, the fat-arsed wombat?
…former Big Brother contestant Tim Brunero: “He is now employed as a spruiker for the Royal Hotel and spends his time wandering around Sydney Uni
Even some of the completely clueless contestants are doing better than him. He’s probably kicking himself for not getting implants.Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 06 02 at 10:45 PM • permalink
- International Herald Tribune—Breaking– Eben Emael coccooned. Caterpillars march into Brussels unopposed. EU proposes investigatory commission.Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 03 at 01:54 AM • permalink
- It would be legitimate for this to happen to John Pilger. It’s okay, I used the word “legitimate.”Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 03 at 04:05 AM • permalink
- We all know what happened to the Man who *would* be King.Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 03 at 04:15 AM • permalink
My Israel Question has plunged to 758,250 in the Amazon Sales Rank following a Melbourne University funded tour of the US by Loewenstein and team to publicise the release of the American edition. This makes it officially the most unpopular book ever published, easily eclipsing the previous record holder, An Idiot’s Guide To Jihad For Jews( Toby & Ahmadinejad MUP)
Thank you and goodbye. My work is done here.
- One for Evil Pundit. You’re not checking out of TBland, are you Geeoff?Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 03 at 04:57 AM • permalink
- Hoy! Evilpundit! If you can’t post on Evilpundit.com, have you thought of posting on evilpundit.blogspot.com? (Assuming I have the right Evilpundit, and you haven’t lost the password.)Posted by James Fulford on 2007 06 03 at 12:06 PM • permalink
- Glad you like it Pogria! I should get drunk and visit youtube more often.Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 04 at 04:15 AM • permalink
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