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Last updated on August 3rd, 2017 at 02:10 pm
A chilling email from Bird Observation & Conservation Australia:
Hello Mr Blair,
From our website statistics I notice that there were a significant number of access hits to our home page from timblair.net on 13 June 2007. Please explain what was generating these hits and their purpose.
Regards,
Webmaster
- Oh, nooooooooooo. Surely you’re not actually including links when you make a post? Tim! How dare you?!Posted by Ash_ on 2007 07 23 at 10:27 AM • permalink
- This could be your swan song.Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 07 23 at 10:39 AM • permalink
- Here’s the other link from the 13th.
It would be tweet to get the Webmaster’s notice again.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 07 23 at 10:48 AM • permalink
- I believe it must have been this. I even got in a comment about my favorite extinct bird, the great auk.
Obviously the association is worried about unfounded – unfounded, I say! – rumors concerning The Great Australian Bird Safari being arranged by Predatory Australians Clomping around the Outback. The shotguns are merely for personal protection against, er, rabid wombats. The birds won’t
know what hit ‘emeven know we’re there.
- Yes, I can hardly wait for that Australian Bird
TastingWatching expedition. Do the airport security people have any objections to iron skillets in the carry-on luggage?Posted by SwampWoman on 2007 07 23 at 11:02 AM • permalink
- Urrggggg! Perveiw is my friend: “That e-mail from BOCA is for the birds.”
BTW, I clicked on the BOCA link again, just so that anal web master can generate another “WTF?!?!?!” type e-mail in a month or so.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 23 at 11:05 AM • permalink
- Tim, your loyal minions await your orders for the next web site to flood with hits.Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 07 23 at 11:19 AM • permalink
- Hmmmm.
First time I’ve ever seen anybody demanding an explanation for being linked *to*.
Really whats next?
“Dear Sir. How DARE you link to us! Driving traffic to our website? That is completely beyond the pale! Our website is designed to not be viewed by any living soul, and you Mr. Tim Blair have ruined this … “.
Posted by memomachine on 2007 07 23 at 11:22 AM • permalink
- I would refer said Webmaster to Dick Cheney.
And mention that 140-bit encryption is no longer sufficient.Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 07 23 at 11:22 AM • permalink
- Excuse me, but this is from Bird Observation and Conservative Australia, not a dangerous and heavily armed organization. What are they going to do? Paint a picture of you?
Tell them to go fuck off.
Or … on second thought … you could tell them the most evil plan imaginable. Pass a chill down their spines.
Dear BOCA,
It’s unfortunate for you that you noticed our interest in your organization. We must now eliminate all traces of your existence starting with you.
Bawahahahahahahahaha.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 23 at 11:45 AM • permalink
- And it is good, O Great Overlord, that they have acknowledged Your omniscience of our intentions and purposes. Soon every bird conservationist will bow and acknowledge Your omnipotent omniscience over Your Dread Overlordship’s faithful minions!
(Void where prohibited. While supplies last. Contact sales associate for details. Dry clean only. Keep out of reach of children.)
- Hummingbird tongues go particularly well with Sumerian mead.
*waves to Media Watch gerbils*
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 07 23 at 12:45 PM • permalink
- Are birdwatchers as skittish as their little feathered friends? If you approached one who happened to be standing on, say, a pedestrian bridge, would he hurl himself into space, madly flapping his arms, only to splash into the creek below? Are they incensed by the sight of their reflections in windows? Do cats give them the frights?
- Tell them we were having a discussion on the best Australian bird feathers to use in erotic situations, and were using their site as a visual aid. That should get his panties in a wad.Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 07 23 at 01:43 PM • permalink
- Hello Webmaster,
We were tallying up our roadkill life-lists, and found your site to be the best resource for identifying the colorful splotches of feathers and goo on Australian vehicles.
Regards,
BlairitesPosted by Blue State Sil on 2007 07 23 at 01:57 PM • permalink
- The rest of you creeps may have been looking for boobs and tits, I was doing scientific research. In addition to looking for boobs and tits, I reasoned, that if anyone has seen the rare plastic turkey the Bird Observation & Conservation Australia would have seen that bird. Just because the turkey has breasts and legs made no difference to my purely scientific interest. (I love saying boobs, tits, breasts and legs).Posted by Jabba the Tutt on 2007 07 23 at 03:07 PM • permalink
- Der Purpose MUST remain Der Secret UNTil Der Tag…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 23 at 03:36 PM • permalink
- He’s just worried about who watches the watchers. Or he thinks this site might be a bit cuckoo.Posted by andycanuck on 2007 07 23 at 04:20 PM • permalink
- #38. Thank you bgates.
We’ve just used your lovely proforma.
—Nick and Nora
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 07 23 at 05:16 PM • permalink
- It was after midnight and a burglar had just broken into a very large house in an affluent neighborhood. Upon entering the house, he was very careful not to make a sound. As he crept around in the dark, he heard a voice say, “I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!”
Stunned by the voice, the burglar came to a sudden halt, and remained motionless. After waiting a few minutes, once again, the same voice said, “I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!”
Becoming a bit more frightened, the burglar took out his flashlight, turned it on, and glanced around the room. To his utter amazement, he saw a large birdcage with a parrot in it. The burglar chuckled quietly and said to the parrot “Did you say that?” The parrot repeated the same phrase again, “I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!”
“You’re just a parrot!” said the amused burglar. “What is your name?” “Noah”, said the parrot. “Well then who is Jesus and where is he?” The parrot quickly answered, “Jesus is the Doberman and he is right behind you.”
- That site seems short on boobies & tits, but definitely has an over-abundance of loons & twits!Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 07 23 at 06:34 PM • permalink
- And we thought dodo’s were extinct!!!Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 07 23 at 06:36 PM • permalink
- Well they would certainly be an organisation that believes that the concepts of “left wing” and “right wing” are useful organising principles.Posted by ooh honey honey on 2007 07 23 at 07:04 PM • permalink
- Emu
Cut emu into 1 1/2”-2” cubes. Fry bacon and remove from skillet, leaving grease. Add cubed emu and saute until evenly brown. Be careful not to overcook. Add garlic, mushrooms, bay leaves, thyme, parsley, salt and pepper. Add the bacon and remove from heat. In a small sauce pan make a roux from the flour and butter until it is light brown in color. Add consomme and wine to the roux. Simmer until slightly thickened. Add roux mixture to the meat mixture and stir well. If onions and carrots are desired, parcook the carrots before adding to the meat. Simmer on low for 2 hours. Serve over noodles.
Page 3.
- They’re a bunch of turkeys.Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 07 23 at 09:31 PM • permalink
- Birdie Num Num,…..Birdie Num Num….Posted by The Big Fish on 2007 07 23 at 10:37 PM • permalink
- And they just got another blast on 23rd. July 🙂Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 24 at 08:23 AM • permalink
