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Last updated on August 8th, 2017 at 12:21 pm
John Howard has renamed the former Department of Immigration and Multicultural Affairs. New title: the Department of Immigration and Citizenship.
UPDATE. Frollicking Mole:
I might point out a small problem with the rebadging.
They are now D.I.C.
I for one would like to know who the new DIC head is.
UPDATE II. Senator Andrew Bartlett begins the whining:
This is nothing more than an election year stunt showing up the narrow vision of Mr Howard and his willingness to use shallow nationalism to achieve his fantasy of imposing a mono-cultural vision on the reality of a modern multicultural Australia.
- Bravo!
Why does common sense seem so, uncommon?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 03:36 AM • permalink
- I say, that’s a bit rough. Next he’ll be expecting them to like the place.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 23 at 03:37 AM • permalink
- #3 penguin
The reaction to this latest Howard initiative will be .
facinatingThe multi-culturalist poobahs might worry that their gravy train could run out? Ooh! Seething, sniveling, screeching and giant papier-maché puppet heads to follow.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 03:41 AM • permalink
- The multi cult died about 1992, the true believers just hadn’t got the message that the pendulum had swung away from that doctrine. Lots still haven’t. That’s why they’re so outraged about Australians flourishing the Australian flag at an Australian public event. No, no, musn’t do that, you rascist thugs.
- The rascals! Behaving as if they were a crowd of bloody Yanks!
;^)
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 03:56 AM • permalink
- The usual fools will complain about it, using ill-considered references to ‘1984’, but I like it.Posted by blandwagon on 2007 01 23 at 03:57 AM • permalink
- Slightly O/T, More good news…60% of teachers presently practising their dark arts in my part of Australia will be retired by 2010, which means the Whitlam nutcase generation will be leaving the education system and putting a full stop to a generation of intellectual child abuse. Apparently they intend to inflict themselves on lucky destinations such as Byron Bay and Tuscany. Head for the hills, locals, you don’t need to mess with these people. They’ll do your head in big time.
- usually when I tell this story I have to swear that its true. But I know you lot will believe it.
I became an Oz citizen last year. Ceremony conducted by green-leftoid mayor of Byron Shire. Prior to the ceremony she came over to myself and my assembled cheer squad to do the mayoral chat.
When she found out I was a Kiwi she was visibly taken aback. ‘And you’re becoming an Australian? she said. ‘Why? I’ve got plenty of friends who would love to become New Zealanders.’
Meaning: NZ is anti-American/pro-Labour/Kyoto-friendly/non-aggressive all- round friend of the earth. Why would you possibly want to become an Australian?
The mayor! At a citizenship ceremony!
So I told her the truth. The sheep here are cheaper to date.
- I might point out a small problem with the rebadging.
They are now D.I.C.
I for one would like to know who the new DIC head is. Was Amanda a DIC head or is it just the new bloke?
How big is DIC?
What happens if DIC gets a rush of blood to the head reguarding Indonesian seamen?
If no Labour politican cracks a funny about this in the first week then they are rooted by DIC and dont stand a chance in the next ellection.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 01 23 at 04:14 AM • permalink
- Actually, the Islamists should be pleased. They don’t like multiculturalism either. The argument for them has always been about which culture is the legitimate one and therefore should dominate.
#5: If by “them” you mean the Muslims, Infidel Tiger, I have no doubt that in fact they genuinely do like Australia. Which of course is the reason they’re here; to colonize.
It’s this nation’s Constitution, its laws and the diversity of infidel religions and cultures that they find objectionable.
- Now we have the name change. Lets have a massive cleanout of all the idealogues, parasites, bleeding hearts, and every tout and spiv and special interest group, both in this department and the private sector, which mainly means ‘immigration’ lawyers and other taxpayer teet suckers. Then, finally open all the books, for the public to see what sort of expenditure has occured within this outfit over the years. Then maybe we will see why some of our essential services are slowly being run to the ground, while certain ethnic minorities, hostile to our lifestyle are still getting State and Federal funding.
Maybe, it could become another ‘boat-rocker’ like the AWB scandel. But I won’t hold my breath, certain media outlets will smooth things over.
- It’s a good start. Whether or not the civil service takes any notice whatsoever is another kettle of fish. A good read on teh subject is Sam Huntington’s Who Are We. It describes in detail, how the US civil service routinely disobeys Congress in the execution of its duties in relation to immigration and naturalisation.
- Andrew Fartalot should get back to doing what he does best. Stealing alcohol from other people.Posted by curious george on 2007 01 23 at 04:40 AM • permalink
- Dave S.
Who is us? We treasure the little bugger and do not lend him out without a moneyback guarantee.
Posted by curious george on 2007 01 23 at 05:07 AM • permalink
- Stole the limelight from Kevni’s chief electoral platform announcement: edumacation, too!
Guess he’s getting a Ruff education in politics.
- In the company of others:
Daughter: Mum I am working for D.I.C. now.
Mother: That is nice dear.
Noisy neighbour: I always thought she was a bit of a slapper.
Posted by Andrew Ian Dodge on 2007 01 23 at 05:10 AM • permalink
- #19
They are now D.I.C.
I for one would like to know who the new DIC head is. Was Amanda a DIC head or is it just the new bloke?Was being a DIM head any better? Just askin’.
#40
Stole the limelight from Kevni’s chief electoral platform announcement: edumacation, too!
Watch for lots of this in ensuing months: Just as soon as Kev is about to strike hard in an area he feels is a Howard weakness, see Howard trot out something guaranteed to make the latte set gasp.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 01 23 at 05:29 AM • permalink
- #39, yep, DOPIE was a Federal department. Another good one is the Department of Finance and Administration which I like to shorten to the “Department of FA” (third definition down – although the others are good too)Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 01 23 at 05:39 AM • permalink
- I might point out a small problem with the rebadging.
They are now D.I.C.
But just remember – dicks fuck assholes.
(Team America)
Posted by Young and Free on 2007 01 23 at 05:42 AM • permalink
- OK JonathanH. here’s your Citizenship Renewal test (declaration: tongue-in-cheek!)
1) Who do you barrack for in the Rugby World Cup?
2) No, really, who do you barrack for?
3) Good lord! What would your parents say?Disclaimer. I was at the House of Pain in August 2001 when Australia beat the Kiwis there for the first time. (And yes, for the record, the students burnt a couch.) After match, we followed the crowd to the big tent and built our Wall of Steinlager (double height!!). Got a skinful, rubbed the locals’ noses in it unmercilessly to the wee hours, even though outnumbered hundreds to one.
Result: not a genuine harsh word, no angry shots, no punches no hassle. Gotta love the ANZACs.
Been back twice as tourist since.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 23 at 05:46 AM • permalink
- ps. So fuck multiculturalismPosted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 23 at 05:48 AM • permalink
- Just saw this on the news, we’re getting a multi-million dollar Center For Muslim Excellence. Faaaantastic.Posted by Daniel San on 2007 01 23 at 05:53 AM • permalink
- From Dan’s link at #37
A number of well-intentioned figures within the Jewish community have tried to give him second, third and fourth chances over the years
I used to do that sort of thing. Didn’t want to judge people harshly without incontrovertible evidence that my judgement was correct. In other words, I didn’t want to be the one in the wrong. And I was suffering from some remnant lefty neuroticism, i.e., the desire to believe that human beings, deep down, really are good people and will all, eventually, if you give them enough chances, start behaving decently.
After considerable suffering I finally realised where I was mistaken. Now I give them one chance to show me they’re untrustworthy, another one to prove it and that’s the end of me trusting them re anything. Earning trust takes a lot longer than losing it.
But that’s with people raised in a culture that condemns lying, i.e., ours. It’s insane to trust someone who’s been taught from childhood that lying is not just convenient but good.
- Will DIC be an erection…sorry…election issue?Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 01 23 at 06:07 AM • permalink
- It was DIMIA then DIMA. Families and Community Services inherited the IA part (Indigenous Affairs) this time Last Year.
On another confusing note, there is a Department of Employment and Workplace Relations AND now a Department of Environment and Water Resources… Both the same acronym.. DEWR..
On the Department of FA joke… it is still used here in Canberra.
Andrew Metcalfe is the current D.I.C head.
The new minister will not be as quirky as Mandy was (I know both of them).. He is more the kind of guy who will push through important legislation by covering it with an even more contraversial piece of legislation – in his previous role in Employment and WR he sucessfully snuck through a bunch of legistlation to kick the ass of dolebludgers and welfare parasites (welfare to work) without any attention from the media… because the Left/Labor were too busy bleating on about workchoices to give it the time of day.
The same tactics will apply to his new portfolio as I know he is bringing across many of his advisers from his previous Ministry.
Posted by CanberraNeoCon on 2007 01 23 at 06:22 AM • permalink
- What we could have here is an inability to assimilate!
In another Channel Four programme, “Undercover Mosques” an intrepid journalist with a hidden camera put his life quite literally on the line and bought us news from various Mosques around the country. This news, essentially, was that homosexuals should be killed, paedophilia condoned, women as second-class citizens beaten — as should girls who do not wear the hijab, and lastly, Islam must take over the UK and run it under Sharia law whilst waging Jihad against the infidels.
- O/T
Rudd wants us to be the best educated country in the world. An economics perfessor in every home?
Posted by boxofmatches on 2007 01 23 at 06:31 AM • permalink
- C’mon Tim I wasn’t “whining”. Jennie Ferris knows what happens when I start “WINING”Posted by Senator Andrew Bartlett on 2007 01 23 at 06:52 AM • permalink
- #59 – well educated like Germany.. There were countless people who could tell me while I was there that they were unemployed in German, French, English, Russian.. Then there were those who were 35 and still hadn’t left school. I fear KRudd’s senior advisers have this utopian wet dream of a European Socialist paradise… The people I met were educated, housed and fed but bloody miserable.Posted by CanberraNeoCon on 2007 01 23 at 06:52 AM • permalink
- I hope this is the stake through the heart of the rotten corpse of “multiculturalism”.
Al Grassby not only looked like a clown in his mug lair suits and ties, he inflicted decades of misery on the Australian population with his crack brained theory of non assimilation.
All the bludgers on the multi culti bandwagon will start whining in 5-4-3-2 .. . . . . . . . .
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 01 23 at 07:00 AM • permalink
- Hey guys,
give the S A B a go.
At least he used his real name, AND he obviously has some taste, humour and a modicum of intelligence. He reads Timbo’s blog!!!!
There is hope for Oz’s politicians yet.
Jonathon H ;
I’m with you. The only good thing my parents did for me, was come to Australia before I was born. I can say with masses of pride that I was born here, in the greatest country this world has ever seen.
I
LOVE my flag, lamb chops and Sam Kekovich.
- Yes, a tick for the Senator (assuming its who his tag says…).
But the Democrats in Australia are still full of flakes, no-hopers, middle-Australia hating “Natashas”.
Times up gang. Just disappear with good grace, will you? Maybe, in time, you will do a “DLP”.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 23 at 07:43 AM • permalink
- #48
I support Australia in everything. This country has been wonderful to me, and I owe it more than I can ever give back.
Shift happened about ten years ago. Didn’t intellectualise it. Just happened. Partly gratitude for work opportunities, partly travelling a lot around the country, partly taking my kids to internationals (rugby/soccer/cricket) and feeling it would be pretty bloody pathetic if I started barracking for the other side.
BTW Otago is where my family comes from. My grandfather and great-grandfather were high country sheep farmers there.
If you couldn’t get beaten up in Dunedin after gloating over a Wallabies victory you weren’t trying hard enough.
cheers
- You have to hand it to Howard. He knows which buttons to press on the moonbats. While they go into a state of apoplexy, the rest of the population cheers from the rooftops.
The more they bitch and whine, the greater the damage they do to their cause. Rudd is smart enough to know what’s on here, but is problem is alienating his most vocal and powerful supporters by staying mute.
- UPDATE II. Senator Andrew Bartlett begins the whining:
This is nothing more than an election year stunt showing up the narrow vision of Mr Howard and his willingness to use shallow nationalism to achieve his fantasy of imposing a mono-cultural vision on the reality of a modern multicultural Australia.Does this mean we can stop worshipping Aboriginal ‘culture’? If so, count me in.
- OT, wronwright, there are no excuses this time – you’ve been given plenty of advance notice. Karl would be very upset if any RWDB hovercars turned up in these pics again:
Google wants to put you on the map
On Friday, an aircraft hired by Google will be doing a series of low-level swoops over parts of Sydney, photographing the ground and waters below. … Providing the photographs turn out to be good enough quality, the images will be integrated into Google MapsSenator Bartleweet might want to notify his supporters to don their Webdiary-approved tinfoil hats in case the CIA have their usual mind-control apparatus on board.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 01 23 at 08:27 AM • permalink
- murph, wouldn’t that be unsympathetic towards our islamic
overlordscomrades in multiculturalism?PS – wronwright, you’re officially in trouble. Someone spotted you on your joyflight:
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 01 23 at 08:33 AM • permalink
- #79 Would that be a UFO from the USA??Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 23 at 08:35 AM • permalink
- Just look at bloody clause 27 of the Canadian “Charter of Rgights and Freedoms”
27. This Charter shall be interpreted in a manner consistent with the preservation and enhancement of the multicultural heritage of Canadians
Pure bullshit. How can one have a singular multicultural heritage”, it must be multicultural heritages, Shirley?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 23 at 08:43 AM • permalink
- I’m awful late to this thread, but I wish Mr. Howard well in his attempt to halt radical Islam’s version of the “march through the institutions”. Diversity does indeed add spice to life, but it is the things we hold in common that provide the glue that holds a society together, and there’s been far too much spice and not enough glue for far too long in most western countries.
- #79 ArtVandelay –
wronwright, you’re officially in trouble. Someone spotted you on your joyflight: UFO spotted over Iran
Oh no. I knew it, I just knew this would happen.
People! The hover cars are to be used for official VRWC business. Same goes for the Birds of Prey. Phaser tag games are not permitted! Nor are puerile games like “Hey, Let’s Shoot Down the Iranian Fighter Jet”.
(wronwright looks in the direction of paco and Grimmy)
I have to account for these vehicles you know! To Internal Auditing! They’re cruel!
Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 23 at 09:02 AM • permalink
- #84, wronwright, I heard you’d borrowed a Bird of Prey for a midnight joyflight over Tehran to impress the interns…Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 01 23 at 09:18 AM • permalink
- JonathanH –
I have dual CDN/OZ citizenship.
I was once asked who I would support in a sport when Canada was playing Australia.
My response was that if it was (ice) hockey, I would go for OZ. If it was cricket, Canada.
Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 01 23 at 09:55 AM • permalink
- #83, paco, John Howard already halted the march of islam through our institutions when he stopped the Tampa at our sea border. It’s hard to argue with the SAS when they say “Nope, you’re not getting in.” My son and his mates did the same thing last year at Cronulla, drawing a line in the sand, saying “So far, no further” to lebanese standover men. Australians did the same thing this week when told the national flag couldn’t be displayed at a rock concert because it’s a symbol of white racist thuggery. The boys said, “Watch us.” So most of the 60,000 crowd will be draped & caped with the Southern Cross. And John Howard is a champion, the first western leader to declare multicuralism extinct. Our former Department of Immigration and Multicultural Affairs is, as of today, the Department of Immigration and Citizenship.
- #84: Phaser tag games are not permitted! Nor are puerile games like “Hey, Let’s Shoot Down the Iranian Fighter Jet”.
(wronwright looks in the direction of paco and Grimmy)
Hey, we were just trying to maneuver adroitly to evade the fighter jet. I figured it might take a while, so I was going to have a smoke; I thought the red button was the cigarette lighter. How was I supposed to know that it was the launcher for the heat-seeking missile? By the way, does this make me an “ace”?
- No paco. It takes 5 kills to be an ace. Since the most you’ll ever pilot, from this point on, is a Barbie pink electric car (“driving is hard”), it’s doubtful you’ll get the other four.
Sorry, no Pour le mérite for you.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 23 at 10:33 AM • permalink
- #51: Shoot! Billy Mitchell had the same problem with the establishment. Except they didn’t make him drive around in a pink Barbie car. Hmmm. Scaled to proper size, though, and armored, with a .50 cal. machine gun and a rocket launcher and an auxiliary gasoline tank . . . m’yes, maybe I could make that work.
- Poor Senator Bartlett must cry himself to sleep every night because he can run for an EU MP…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 23 at 11:07 AM • permalink
- Congratulations to Australia for taking steps, both concrete and symbolic, toward declaring national unity. Now if only the US will follow Australia’s lead.
*Surreptitiously replaces spare set of hover car keys on the little chicken-shaped key holder hanging by wronwright’s kitchen door.* I only wanted a test drive, honest.
- So when you’re done with Howard, would you send him to be President of the US? We’ll amend the Constitution for him.Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 01 23 at 11:21 AM • permalink
- I have just not long ago been told, that this Multiculturism rubbish was first used in Canada in 1971, because of the trouble with the French Canadians, and was adopted around the world. It would have to be the French somewhere in this fiasco, if you look at France today, (riots etc), what with blowing up boats, and exploding cars. To quote Al Bundy,(Married with Children),‘ahhh, my friends the French again’.
- Am I missing something or were there supposed to be two seperate links for the end of depsrtment of the multicult and the senator whining about it?Posted by mencken_cynic on 2007 01 23 at 11:43 AM • permalink
- Bartlweet thinks encouraging immigrants to become citizens is “imposing a mono-cultural vision on the reality of a modern multicultural Australia”? He really needs to see a professional to help him deal with his “post-colonial white guilt” delusions.Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 12:31 PM • permalink
- #105 paco,
Why do the Left and their vacuous allies in the Media think “Balkanization” is something to aspire to?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 01:55 PM • permalink
- Or they believe John Lennon’s Imagine is some sort of post-modern gospel.Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 03:24 PM • permalink
- Whoa! I apologize in advance for a three-part Detective Paco episode. It won’t happen again; this one just got out of control.
“But Paco, don’t you understand? You stole my Johnson!”
Heads turned. Eyebrows arched. Lips curled up at the edges in lewd smiles. I grabbed him by the elbow and marched him to a far corner of Java Jim’s Coffee Shop and shoved him into a chair at a table by the condiment cart.
“Listen, you idiot! If you want to shout out in a public place that I lifted your wallet or strangled your cat or shoved your grandmother down the cellar stairs, feel free to exercise your larynx to your heart’s content. But don’t go around saying that I stole a Johnson!”
He gave me a puzzled look, but shook it off and got down to cases. “Paco, this wasn’t a Johnson, it was myJohnson: a first edition of Samuel Johnson’s dictionary, published in 1755, which had belonged to Edmund Burke and included the latter’s marginal notes. It cost me a small fortune.”
I shoved my fedora back on my head and stared at this loopy specimen: Paul Smollet, Professor of English Literature at State College. An unprepossessing guy in his early thirties, medium height, dark but thinning hair, wire-rim glasses. He wasn’t a bad sort. Just nuts.
“Let me get this straight, Doc. I repossessed your car – a brand new Lexus – because you were three months behind on the payments, and you’re worried about a two-hundred year old dictionary that hasn’t even got a lot of our most useful modern words, like ‘computer’ and ‘molecule’ . . . and Johnson?”
“Paco, I don’t blame you for repossessing the car; you were just doing what the bank hired you to do. In fact, the main reason I had trouble making the car payments is because I had to shell out so much money for the books. But the two-volume dictionary was in the trunk; I planned on taking the thing from my office to my house after class yesterday and I had a couple of stops to make so I thought it would be safer there. But you towed the car away from the campus before I had a chance to remove it. You’ve got to help me get it back!”
“That shouldn’t be too tough. Let’s just go down to the dealership, pop the trunk and retrieve it.” Like a lot of things, it turned out to be slightly more difficult than I expected.
We drove down to Lorenzo’s Lexus Sales and Service and parked in front of the showroom, then walked through to the credit manager’s office. When I asked about the car in question, and outlined the problem, Jack Fink, the manager, squirmed in his chair and acquired a distinctly anxious expression.
“Well, yeah, we’ve got it around back, or rather, what’s left of it.”
That sounded bad. We went around to the lot, the professor practically breaking into a canter in his panic.
The credit manager finally came shuffling up to us. “Where is it?”, I asked.
“Right there.”
“Where?”
He went over and gingerly laid a hand on it.
The thing looked like a dumpster that had been chosen for an overnight stay by a bum who liked to smoke in bed. It was a blackened, twisted wreck, and there was not even a prayer that anything in the trunk could have survived. The professor let out a little bleat like a new-born calf who’d lost his mother. Cont’d.
- “What happened, Jack?”
“Beats me. The thing was towed in yesterday afternoon, and blew up around dinner time. The cops have been here and checked out what’s left.”
I turned to the Professor. “Ok, Doc, it looks like somebody had it in for you; they put a time bomb in your car and set it to go off right about the time you’d be leaving the campus. Let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
I drove him back to my office, waved him through the door, sat him down and poured him a shot of bourbon. He swallowed it, coughed violently, then settled down.
“You got any enemies, Doc?”
He mulled it over. “No, not really . . . well . . . no, it’s nothing.”
“Spill it, Doc. Let me be the judge.”
“Well, I’m on the selection committee for the library, the chairman, actually, and I’ve been at loggerheads with the head of the Islamic Studies Department, Sheik ibn Bakir. He wanted the college to order 50 copies of Anthony Lowenstein’s new book, and I vetoed the decision because of the book’s extremely poor research quality , then he wanted to order a couple of hundred copies of The Arab Peace Initiative, which is little more than a propaganda leaflet put out by the Saudi government, and I nixed that, too. You see, the college is on a pretty tight budget, so we have to be fairly selective. He did get pretty hot about it.”
I figured where there’s smoke, there’s likely to be a Muslim radical, these days, so I decided to pay the Sheik a visit. At first, I thought to send Sheila in, undercover, posing as a student. “Won’t work”, the professor said. “He never meets directly with female students; always fobs them off on his teacher’s aids. Besides, he’s a randy old goat, from what I hear, and has some pretty primitive notions about, er, courtship.” Sheila drew herself up to her full 5’7” and declared, “If he tried that stuff with me, he’d wind up with a stiletto-heel schlong kebab.” I filed that information away, along with a mental note to buy Sheila some flat-heeled shoes for her birthday. “Ok, I’ll tackle him head-on.”
Well, it wasn’t quite head-on. I wanted to reconnoiter the ground, first, so I broke into Bakir’s office late that night, or as I like to put it, I entered without his prior approval. I flashed the beam from the pen light around his domain. He was obviously a collector of posters featuring guys in white pajamas and ski masks. There were also a couple of pictures of some dyspeptic, four-eyed mullahs with whom I was unfamiliar. The books on his shelf were curious: The Protocols of the Elders of Zion; ]Dhimmitude for Dummies ; One Hundred and One Ways to Prepare Hummus; several Korans. I pulled a particularly bulky-looking Koran off the shelf, and a sheaf of loose-leaf notebook paper fell out. I examined the papers closely under my flash light, and saw, to my consternation, a list of airlines, routes, timetables, a detailed schematic of the regional power grid, and a recipe for anthrax milkshakes. Suddenly, everything had come into focus – primarily because the Sheik had just turned on the overhead light.
He stood there, swathed in white robes, a green turban on his head, and a Smith & Wesson .357 caliber revolver in his hand.
- “Good evening, professor. I’m with facilities management and there’ve been some complaints about the temperature control on this floor. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”
He gave me a wicked smile. “Oh, I imagine it’s just you, my friend, but no need to worry. You’ll be cold enough soon.”
I feigned fear and dropped to my knees. His smile was positively malicious, now. “That’s right, dog of an unbeliever! Submit before the will of Allah! Perhaps He will accept your – how do you call it – your ‘death-bed conversion’”.
Putting my faith in Moe instead of Mohammed, I grasped the edge of the carpet and gave it a tremendous yank. The sheik did a back-flip, and his gun went off, plugging a picture of Saddam Hussein right between the eyes. Congratulating him on his marksmanship, I retrieved the gun, rolled the sheik up in the carpet, fastened it with duct tape and called the FBI.
All the commotion in front of the building attracted a crowd, including Professor Smollet, who had been working late. “Great news, Paco! My Johnson wasn’t in the trunk of my car after all! It was still lying in my office under Fanny Hill!”
The FBI guy gave Smollet a funny look. “Don’t ask”, I told him.
- In the seventies when I was a young technician with the PMG (Telstra) there was a department that had a very large mainframe computer that they were trying to sell time on to the general public. It was at first called – Common User Network Terminal – .
They even had a rubber stamp made up so we could put the acronym on envelopes. Didn’t last long though,shame.
- #86 ArtVandelay –
wronwright, I heard you’d borrowed a Bird of Prey for a midnight joyflight over Tehran to impress the interns…
That was a “welcome to the VRWC” social ride. I wanted those interns to know that even though they were female and might not feel evil enough, they were most welcome. I think most people would say it was appropriate, and ethical, and a good thing. And … hey look everyone, paco posted a new three installment episode of Detective paco! Yes, three! Let’s all go read it! Right now!
Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 23 at 04:56 PM • permalink
- O/T Great editorial in today’s The Australian about the global unthinking, brain-dead anti-Americanism.
“But no presidency or war lasts forever and the US is so much more than George W. Bush or Iraq. Those who wish for a US retreat from the world should think hard about who might rush in to fill that vacuum”.
- Whoever posted the following over at my site The Bartlett Diaries, your post has been removed.
Natasha says:
January 23rd, 2007 at 11:05 pmAndrew, Jeannie Ferris seems a little quiet in the chamber over the last couple of years.
Are you surprised the PM didn’t man-handle her into a portfolio?Posted by Senator Andrew Bartlett on 2007 01 23 at 05:37 PM • permalink
- #120
G’day Andrew.
I note Tim mentions you in despatches at the top of this thread. A proud moment for you Andrew I’m sure.Now that we know you’re an avid fan of this blog, I would like to ask you a couple of questions.
1 Why are your responses to Howard Government initiatives so bloody predictable and in perfect lock-step with the equally predictable Labor reaction?
2 Andrew you seem very good at criticizing the Howard Government but we punters always have the uneasy feeling that you do it from the absolute safety of never having to implement your own policies, some of which are quite zany, shall we say. Do you agree that this safety is a luxury the Government will never have as they have to take the hard decisions, not just the popular ones?
- #122 Bonmot. It’s too early in the morning to answer such difficult questions.
We’ve got some fantastic ideas for this country but for some reason people have just switched off. I’m sitting up here in QLD formulating what’s going to be visionary campaign in my chase to be re-elected to the Senate.
We’ve tried everything in past to overcome this government and the government realise how tough we are. Just ask Jeannie Ferris if she’d like to mess with me.
You just watch Bonmot and you read it here first. The Democrats will be major force again after this election.
I can’t believe the questions I must endure. Sometimes I wonder if this whole thing is a piss-take.Posted by Senator Andrew Bartlett on 2007 01 23 at 06:15 PM • permalink
- #89 MareeS your son was at Cronulla on the day? Give him a big hug from me and buy him a beer!
And to bring it back on topic, my fave name change is the one for ANARL.
They went from being the Australian National Animal Laboratory to Australian National Animal Research Laboratory.
Bummer.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 23 at 06:30 PM • permalink
- #123 Senator Andrew Bartlett :“We’ve tried everything in the past to overcome this government”-
the democrats went wrong when they ceased to be percieved as honest brokers and revealed themselves as just another left wing party
“Just ask Jeannie Ferris if she’d like to mess with me”
– it can’t be the real Andrew Bartlett- not even he could not be tasteless enough to refer to the time he stole two bottles of wine and assaulted an elderly woman on the senate floor in these terms.
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 23 at 06:39 PM • permalink
- make that five bottles (sorry)
as for the thread topic- i wish DIMA had become
the department of Assimilation and Migration -that would be DAM good- but at least DIC is a startPosted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 23 at 06:44 PM • permalink
- #123
Thank you for responding to my post Senator.
No piss-take intended I assure you. It’s not every day that a humble punter such as myself can engage a Senator and my questions were legitimate (I still await your actual answer BTW) – I worry about the Dems losing their way (Chippy must roll in his grave sometimes at the shenanigans), and The Greens a much more potent force for ill in this country taking their place.Bob Brown is an earth-worshipping zealot and there is no place for zealots in Australian politics. That’s why it is important the Dems collect their wits and head The Green demagogery off at the pass. This will not be achieved by agreeing with Labor on practically everything and the Government on practically nothing.
- I was once told by a reasonably reliable authority that a certain tertiary institution here in WA was to be renamed the Curtin University of New Technology. Then the penny dropped, and so was the rear end of the title.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 01 23 at 06:53 PM • permalink
- #130: Thanks, 81Alpha. I love the tropics, and nothing would give me greater pleasure than to knock back a few with you.
BTW, do Aussie and/or Kiwi military personnel still wear the wide-brimmed hat? I was in an unfamiliar part of Washington, today, and saw a group of military folks chewing the fat outside of an office building. One of them was dressed in an olive tunic and slacks, and was wearing the sort of hat that Americans associate with the Antipodes; he seemed rather bedecked with ribbons. I was in a hurry to pick up some papers, but had planned on introducing myself when I got out and thanking them for their service; however, when I left the building, they had gone.
- #98 BJM. Yes, see my post #82. But the multi-culti crap came earlier, as you say. With giving dual linguistic rights, and effectively making french Canadians Canadian plus (at least w.r.t. the federal government) and to diffuse anglo and immigrant sniffiness, multi-culturalism was invented.
Perhaps AndyCanuck can explain it more.
BTW I like French Canada but politicaly, it is the tail wagging the dog.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 23 at 08:10 PM • permalink
- Senator Bartlett’s beloved multiculturalism at work
a group calling themselves the ‘soldiers of granville boys’ was posted on youtube and very quickly disappeared.
they were MOMEA bragging about gang rapes and the revenge attacks after Cronulla.
“The clip has a rap soundtrack and features footage of a gang of hooligans repeatedly kicking a man in one of the Cronulla riot revenge attacks.
In another scene, a map of Australia is overlaid with the Lebanese flag and the words, “Under new management”.
Story here soldiers of granville boys
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 23 at 08:10 PM • permalink
- #105 That’s right Paco, and everyone drives on anys ide of the road in the direction of cultural group choice.Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 23 at 08:13 PM • permalink
- I worry about the Dems losing their way (Chippy must roll in his grave sometimes at the shenanigans), and The Greens a much more potent force for ill in this country taking their place.
#128, Bonmot, it must be pretty galling for the Dems to lose all their supporters to a bunch of complete moonbats such as the Greens.
Senator Bartleweet, I think I’ve found your problem and I’d like to offer my help. Your statement quoted in Tim’s post is definitely whiney but mere whininess is not enough to appeal to today’s batshit insane progressive voter.
I’ve rewritten it below in a style that I think will help you reconnect with your old constituency:
The Prime Terrorist’s decision takes us further along the road to Guantanamo Bay. He and his criminal gang of Nazis will not be happy until all Australians from a non-English speaking background are forced to engage in nude gymnastics in detention centres under the watchful gaze of of his fascist pal Bu$h and his evil Halliburton attack dogs. I demand that both Bush and Lickspittle HoWARd be tried by the UN for genocide, terrorism, hate crimes, environmental vandalism and crimes against the sacred creed of multiculturalism and that David Hicks be freed to take over the newly-created office of Australian President.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 01 23 at 09:01 PM • permalink
- While I applaud this move, it’s another example of how vascillating the Howard government truly is- I wouldn’t get too excited and back-slappy over this, it’s another meek probe at entrenched Whitlamism, rather than the required bloody purge/heads on pikes/burning at stake etc.
The buggers have control over both houses (despite Senator Barnacle) and have done fuck-all with that majority, apparently too scared of upsetting doctors wives (who vote for the fucking Greens anyway).
While they’ve done more to reform the excesses of the past thirty years than that dribbling, pompous, trouser-unencumbered halfwit Fraser managed, their performance has been less than impressive, and the federal government payroll (and spending) has burgeoned on their watch.
About as much economic rationalists as I’m the same species as Phillip Adams.
- Habib, there’s more chance of Phatty Adams been carried by only 6 pallbearer’s than of ever getting a real conservative government.
Sucks like a Kings Cross hooker, but that’s reality. Unfortunately governments are formed by members of the community and most members of the community are tree swingers.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 23 at 09:15 PM • permalink
- Thanks “murph” and “Wimpy Canadian” for the heads up. I was only a little fellow in the early 70’s when all this rot started. This will be a new history hobbie for me to have a look at. I have always found Canada rather an interesting country, and have the ‘Globe and Mail’ on my tabs, along with other publications.
#139 Habib, once again you have nailed it perfectly.
- Tabmow,
The Kiwi soldier’s hat is like the Montana style campaign hat of the USA. Today it is worn by drill instructors in the Marine Corps and (I think) the Army, and is basically a distinguishing item of uniform for DIs. Before World War II all Marine and Army ranks wore it. It was the standard field uniform hat for both officers and enlisted men up until the war.Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 01 23 at 10:09 PM • permalink
- My word! A politican stating what most here have said Re, the cronulla violence.
“The New South Wales Opposition wants to know if there has been a breach of racial vilification laws.
“Racial vilification is an offence in New South Wales under the Racial Vilification Act, as is the distribution of unclassified videos and the vilification of any racial group is wrong,” Shadow Attorney-General Chris Hartcher said.
“It was, of course, the vilification of Anglo-Australians that led to the Cronulla incident last year.”
Amazing, if this was LGF it might rate a flying pig or 2.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 01 23 at 10:14 PM • permalink
- #146 thefrollickingmole
Charles is pretty stingy when it comes to handing out flying pigs, but that might merit one.
;^)
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 10:39 PM • permalink
- #144 Mr Magoo. Implying that I should be responsible for my actions taken against Jeannie Ferris is a bit rich. Whatever I did she had it coming as it was a boiling over of anger resulting all the terrible right wing policies this government has implemented.
Those bottles of wine that I found didn’t have anybody’s name on them and I’m sure the Liberal Party and it’s capitalist corporate backers could afford a couple of bottles, plus I was pretty thristy on that night from memory. Or do the right wing want people to die of thrist now?Posted by Senator Andrew Bartlett on 2007 01 23 at 10:52 PM • permalink
- What’s “thrist”? I’ve always been under the impression that Sen Bartleweet and his fellows regularly have one off the wrist*- is this a shortening of this phrase?
*Particularly when issuing policy, and making public pronouncements.
I will be convinced that multiculturalism is dead when immigration from Muslim countries, especially Lebanon, is stopped.
But then you’d be DICless…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 23 at 11:20 PM • permalink
- Al Grassby would be “crying in his grave”!
Unlikely. Dodgy Al was assumed body and soul into hell.
I agree with Habib, “While I applaud this move, it’s another example of how vascillating the Howard government truly is- I wouldn’t get too excited and back-slappy over this, it’s another meek probe at entrenched Whitlamism, rather than the required bloody purge/heads on pikes/burning at stake etc.”I imagine the Feds, despite all their threats, are still throwing money at the nation’s peak Islamist group.
Far worse still, the Immigration Department is still handing out humanitarian visas to members of Islamist groups banned in Algeria, Egypt, Indonesia et al, lest said Islamists be persecuted in their homelands.
How fucked up is that?
- Far worse still, the Immigration Department is still handing out humanitarian visas to members of Islamist groups banned in Algeria, Egypt, Indonesia et al, lest said Islamists be persecuted in their homelands.
Who are invariably unskilled and unemployable, so we get to pay tax to support Islamo Blammos who want to behead and skullfuck us.
Agreed, pretty fucked up.
- #160 – The chances of that being the real Sen. Bartleweet are the same as the Dems having any members in parliament after the next election.
If by chance it is the right honourable dead shit, then get back to work you plonk pilfering, old bag molesting, purple shirt wearing, oxygen oxidising, wifflebat.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 24 at 01:03 AM • permalink
- I thought that it was going to be renamed the Department for Promoting Australian Cultural Optimism?Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 24 at 01:09 AM • permalink
- #142 I believe he was Aussie (except the brim wasn’t actually turned up). Definitely not a lemon-squeezer, though (great metaphor!).
Brim not turned up? Maybe uniform dress rules have changed but I would have thought going in public would require the brim up.
The brim was usually dropped so the hat could do what it was supposed to do; keep the sun off paricularly in the field. Maybe it was a hot sunny day in Washington 🙂
- #114 paco
Put your faith in Moe instead of Mohammed. Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck!
So who should play Detective Paco in the movie?
;^)
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 24 at 02:09 AM • permalink
- Brim on the Aussie slouch hat is now worn down (i.e. flat) except on ceremonial occasions like parades, Guards of Honour etc. where the left hand side is turned up.Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 01 24 at 05:54 AM • permalink
- #167. Bruce Willis.Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 24 at 07:30 AM • permalink
- Medically, DIC stands for Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation, a very nasty way to die (clots everywhere consuming the body’s clotting factors, which in turn leads to uncontrolled hemorrhaging).
No idea if there’s a metaphor in that, just thought you might like to know.
BTW, does PIMF only mean Preview is My Friend, or can it apply to Please Ignore My Fuck-up, which was the answer to my initial, independent deciphering.
- Dminor,
The first definition is usually what is meant, but the second could be equally valid.
;^)
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 24 at 01:22 PM • permalink
- # 167 So who should play Detective Paco in the movie? – Posted by Spiny Norman
#171 Bruce Willis. – Posted by Nilknarf Arbed
Oh no. With that boost to his ego, Mr. Comment Czar, paco, will be insufferable now.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 24 at 01:29 PM • permalink
- #175: I’m not sure Bruce Willis is up to the role. Plus, he’s getting a little long in the tooth. And I’d be a little worried about his ability to convey the subtle complexity of Detective Paco. Sure, Bruce has had some modest success in portraying one-dimensional action heroes, but when you’re talking about bringing to life a literary figure of Detective Paco’s standing . . . well, I dunno. I’m thinking of a cross between Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, maybe throw in a little Dick Powell, a pinch of Bob Hoskins, a heaping tablespoon of Bob Mitchum . . .
- #176 Paco, Bruce has at least one factor in his favour – still breathing. (Okay, bob Hoskins is still kicking. I know because he’s my new manager).
And, yeah, he’s getting a bit long in the tooth, but I reckon he’s a bit of alright, and his politics are on the right side of the divide.
Gary Sinise is also pretty good, too.
Apart from that, these days there isn’t really much to choose from to play you.
There may be plenty of “stars” and “actors”, but very little actors worth the label.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 24 at 04:44 PM • permalink
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