The content on this webpage contains paid/affiliate links. When you click on any of our affiliate link, we/I may get a small compensation at no cost to you. See our affiliate disclosure for more info

Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:29 am

If only the war had been fought in Ethiopia. If only, instead of oil, Iraq held vast reserves of Fruitopia! Then Maureen Dowd’s year would have been perfect

Dowd, April ‘04: “ … the 9/11 commission’s staff, which faults the [CIA] for management miasma and Al Qaeda myopia … “

Dowd, May ‘04: “When a beaming Mr. Wolfowitz stopped at my table to greet an admiring Republican, I wanted to snap, ‘Get back to your desk, Mr. Myopia from Utopia!’”

Dowd, August ‘04: “I would sum it up by saying that the neocons wanted a utopia in Iraq. But because of their myopia, we’ve ended up with a dystopia in the Middle East.”

Dowd, September ‘04: “Faced with their dystopia, the utopians are scaling back their grand visions for Iraq’s glorious future.”

Dowd, December ‘04: “His disgraceful admission that his condolence letters to the families of soldiers killed in Iraq were signed by machine … is redolent of the myopia that has led to the dystopia.”

I bet a machine is writing Dowd’s columns. No human would persist with this myopia/dystopia/utopia line.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/27/2004 at 02:13 AM
    1. But wait! Don’t forget Autopia. And Presbyopia.

      I’m not sure I can copia nymore. I’m gonna go popopia beer.

      Posted by Ken Summers on 12/27 at 02:24 AM • permalink


    1. Who said Modo is human?

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/27 at 02:59 AM • permalink


    1. Thanks for the cornucopia of mo-ron-opia.

      Posted by maxx on 12/27 at 03:30 AM • permalink


    1. So what other obsessive-compulsive behaviours does MoDo exhibit? Probably things I don’t want to know…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 12/27 at 04:13 AM • permalink


    1. It can’t be a machine, because a machine would have noticed the problem.

      I think the main reason Dowd is successful is that she’s quite pretty, and for years has had a terrific head shot atop her columns.  Lots of people see that and figure, “hey, a beautiful opinionated person! let’s have a read!”

      If Dowd looked like Helen Thomas (come to think of it, they’re both redheads…hmm), she wouldn’t be writing for the newspaper of record.

      Posted by littlebeartoe on 12/27 at 04:14 AM • permalink


    1. Does she listen to U2’s Zootopia?

      Posted by Andrew on 12/27 at 04:36 AM • permalink


    1. Has MoDo become the opia of the masses?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 12/27 at 04:39 AM • permalink


    1. Dowd has been in autoerotopia for a number of years…

      Posted by Ioxymoron on 12/27 at 05:45 AM • permalink


    1. I blame Dr. Seuss.

      Posted by dorkafork on 12/27 at 06:03 AM • permalink


    1. I think she’s gotta be doing this on a bet. There’s no way that myopia/dystopia/utopia would occur to anyone spontaneously with that great a frequency. Unless … maybe, each time, she had just “learned” a “new” word….

      Posted by m on 12/27 at 06:18 AM • permalink


    1. I hope somebody’s Christmas gift to MoDo was a new dictionary of rhyming words…

      Posted by PW on 12/27 at 06:20 AM • permalink


    1. Cat in the hat; doubt trout from roover river

      Posted by rog on 12/27 at 06:28 AM • permalink


    1. opia, opia, opia,…. sounds like she’s on some opiate.

      Posted by Franklin on 12/27 at 07:51 AM • permalink


    1. Some amusing comments here, but…seriously folks. Bush said “It’s hard work” eleven times in the first Bush-Kerry debate. That’s within 90 minutes, not over six months. And you’re calling Dowd a machine?

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/27 at 08:15 AM • permalink


    1. Do they read Dowd in a house?

      Do they read Dowd with a mouse?

      Posted by Dorian on 12/27 at 09:49 AM • permalink


    1. Pouty Maureen Dowd
      screeching and loud
      Provokes crowds
      Buttocks her head enshrouds

      Posted by Dorian on 12/27 at 11:08 AM • permalink


    1. Yes, “It’s hard work” is every bit as cutesy as “Myopia from Utopia.” Good point.

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 12/27 at 12:47 PM • permalink


    1. Not at all as cutesy, but much more machine-like.

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/27 at 01:02 PM • permalink


    1. Extry, Extry, Read All about It: Maureen Dowd Fails Turing Test. Revealed to be cyborg planted by Karl Rove and Rupert Murdoch.

      Posted by Protagonist on 12/27 at 01:05 PM • permalink


    1. How is “it’s hard work” more machine-like than “myopia, utopia”? Or would you like Bush better if he dropped into rap?

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/27 at 01:32 PM • permalink


    1. Yep, definitely an AI, and an buggy one at that. Nonsense phrases like “myopia dystopia” and “plastic turkey” are persistent glitches in all of the first-generation AI’s created by the Republicans. And the portable prototype requires so much extra hardware that it can barely move on it’s own power.

      Posted by Bryan C on 12/27 at 01:49 PM • permalink


    1. Andrea: “It’s hard work” 11 times in an hour.

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/27 at 02:00 PM • permalink


    1. Would someone explain the difference between writing and speaking extemporanously to me? I always thought there was one, but evidently there isn’t. They are the same.

      Posted by Dylan on 12/27 at 02:13 PM • permalink


    1. Strange Doctrines seems to think so, anyway.

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/27 at 02:58 PM • permalink


    1. strange dope,
      so, you make $2.75 an hour?

      but seriously, folks, i just flew in from vegas, and boy are my arms tired!

      Posted by guinsPen on 12/27 at 03:13 PM • permalink


    1. but seriously, folks, I just flew in from Vegas, and boy are my arms tired!

      Not an admission I’d advise making in public.  We all know Vegas is a wankers’ city but there’s no need to rub our faces in your predilection.

      Posted by walterplinge on 12/27 at 05:33 PM • permalink


    1. dopier

      Posted by you bet on 12/27 at 08:08 PM • permalink


    1. guinsPen…did the croupier deliver utopia or did myopia caused by anisometropia deliver dystopia? Your mode of transport should be investigated by Opia.

      Posted by Srekwah on 12/27 at 09:57 PM • permalink


    1. “Some amusing comments here, but…seriously folks. Bush said “It’s hard work” eleven times in the first Bush-Kerry debate. That’s within 90 minutes, not over six months. And you’re calling Dowd a machine?”

      Wow. A common phrase used in context 11 times in an hour and a half. That’s like some kind of Tourette’s or something.

      I noticed he also overused the words “nation”, “at”, and “the”, as well as the letter B.

      Posted by Dave S. on 12/28 at 02:47 AM • permalink


    1. difference between writing and speaking extemporanously

      A common phrase used in context 11 times

      I admit I’m at some disadvantage in this argument, since Bush (1) doesn’t write and (2) doesn’t use uncommon phrases. (Hell, I’m not even sure he really extemporizes; the word certainly doesn’t apply to what he did in the first debate.)

      At all events, those who want to pretend that there’s something truly striking about repeating a “cute” play on the word ‘myopia’ in print five times over eight months, well, you go boys and girls.

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/28 at 03:26 AM • permalink


    1. OK, strange, you have outlived your interest on this little obsession of yours. Oh look—I used “you”, “yours” and “your” all in the same sentence! Sinister!

      Side issue: “since Bush (1) doesn’t write”—and you* would know this how? I’m pretty sure the man can write a sentence, since it is pretty hard to graduate Yale with an MBA without being able to do so.

      *There it is again! Crank up the Conspiratron™!

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/28 at 03:50 AM • permalink


  1. MoDo’s writing is like verbal fruit cake.  It’s heavy and hard to digest.  I don’t miss her column in The Tulsa World.

    Posted by zzx375 on 12/28 at 03:36 PM • permalink