Modo braves the apocalypse

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Last updated on July 27th, 2017 at 12:11 pm

AIEEEEE! Maureen Dowd, who believes Australia is an apocalyptic Bushworld, now plans to visit:

Maureen Dowd will visit Australia as a guest of the Perth Writers Festival in February.

BeckWaterton? Secure your city!

Posted by Tim B. on 11/13/2005 at 01:55 PM
    1. I think any patriotic Qantas pilot would let her off in Auckland, instead.

      And speaking of New Zealand, would you guys PLEASE take Lucy Lawless back?  These halfassed eco-thrillers she’s doing for CBS are incredibly annoying and wholly lacking in vaguely-sapphic bath scenes and fish flinging…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 13 at 03:08 PM • permalink


    1. Austrailia sure seems to have their share of wank fest(ivals). Any tax dollars going to pay for these echo chambers?

      Posted by debi L. on 2005 11 13 at 03:19 PM • permalink


    1. I’m sure MoDo will write about her visit with her usual grace and style, entertaining and edifying to all.

      [/gags self with finger]
      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 11 13 at 03:43 PM • permalink


    1. Our intellectuals love a good gabfest, Debi.

      I think it might be to do with our supposed cultural cringe and alleged traditional stupidness. They think if we talk a lot others will take us (no, make that them) seriously.

      By the way, chaps might like to know that there was an article about Ms Dowd in the paper on the weekend. Apparently she is having trouble finding a bloke because she is too successful and that. You might like to mosey on down and say hi. She might be up for it.

      Posted by Major Anya on 2005 11 13 at 03:44 PM • permalink


    1. She’s just looking for a real man instead of a Manhattan Metrosexual.

      Posted by Some0Seppo on 2005 11 13 at 04:05 PM • permalink


    1. Darlene, Dr. Helen (aka the Insta-Wife) skewers the “I-can’t-get-a-date-because-I’m-so-smart/successful/etc.” whine.

      The truth is, most men like women who like men (except for some psychological cripples). I am opinionated, have a PHD and (hopefully), a decent IQ. I rarely meet a man who minds this. Why? Because I like men, enjoy their company and treat them as fellow human beings. These are the ingredients that many of these “feminist” women are missing in their interactions with men. They believe that because they are women, they can get away with saying anything and others should think they are enlightened, instead of just bullies or jerks. That’s what they think men are—and that is why they will remain dateless.

      Posted by Hellbilly on 2005 11 13 at 04:08 PM • permalink


    1. Godammit – I wanted to be the first to say she’s coming a long way to find a date.

      Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2005 11 13 at 04:25 PM • permalink


    1. For the record, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with Maureen Dowd travelling to Australia.

      Moreover, I truly encourage Ms. Dowd to relocate to the far far (not far enough for me) shores of Aussieland.  Move MoDo, I’ll even help move your boxes for you.

      MoDo, moving to Australia.  Yes!

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 13 at 04:33 PM • permalink


    1. Richard:

      Bloody hell, we’re getting Robert Fisk instead at Wellington’s own celebration of yartz and kulture.  MoDo would just add insult to injury.

      Posted by Craig Ranapia (OtherPundit) on 2005 11 13 at 04:37 PM • permalink


    1. Why Maureen Dowd is not married:

      1.  she’s a bow wow
      2.  she’s a bitch
      3.  she looks like a can of Alpo dog food left out overnight
      4.  she’s a feminist and has a poor opinion of men, well, at least, men outside of academia
      5.  she’s self focused and has little attention left over to make her man happy
      6.  her cooking recipes are basically comprised of microwaving frozen dinners
      7.  90% of the household budget is allocated to tops, skirts, and shoes
      8.  she would nag her man constantly about the shortcomings of men
      9.  a typical Sunday would be taking her to plays or the museum and not to see the New York Giants (i.e., American football); that’s simply crazy thinking
      10.  fat thighs, thick calves

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 13 at 04:41 PM • permalink


    1. If she is going as far as Perth, can’t we slip the pilot a few so she ends up in Nauru or Christmas Island? I hear they have some lovely accommodation for those trying to come to Australia without good cause or intention.

      Posted by missinglink on 2005 11 13 at 05:34 PM • permalink


    1. “I knew… How to Catch… Anonymous… biological… objects.”

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 2005 11 13 at 05:41 PM • permalink


    1. Hey, Tim, give her a pity root, will ya? Sounds like she needs somethin’ to take the edge off.

      {Ladies and gentlemen, that was Dave S., entertaining us with the classic “There’s Nothing Wrong with Her a Good Dorkin’ Wouldn’t Cure.” We will now take a short intermission and return with Richard McEnroe’s “Thank Heaven for Lipstick Lesbians” and W. Ron Wright’s touching “Why Don’t You Blow Me While I’m Watching the Packers, Dear”, on General Electric’s Testosterone Hour.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 11 13 at 06:18 PM • permalink


    1. #13 Dave, I think Tim’s fiancee might have a number (a great number) objections…


      Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2005 11 13 at 06:23 PM • permalink


    1. Holy crap! Our Timmy’s a bespoke bloke?

      Ahem. I will assume my invitation was lost in transit.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 11 13 at 06:25 PM • permalink


    1. This is a terrible insult by the USA and Australia must respond in kind. Prepare to launch an Intercontinental Ballistic Margo at them.

      Posted by Ross on 2005 11 13 at 07:27 PM • permalink


    1. Dave S., that is so wrong, it’s so unbelievably wrong, it brings to question both your mental faculty and your masculinity.  It’s not the Peckers, it’s the Bungles Bengals.

      Who Dey.  (Aussies, don’t bother asking).

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 13 at 07:46 PM • permalink


    1. You’re putting “masculinity” and “Bengals” in the same sentence? Have you seen Chad Johnson’s end-zone dances? The Riverdance one could possibly be explained as an ironic riff on “Baseketball”, but that gay meringue was just plain… um… flamboyant.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 11 13 at 07:56 PM • permalink


    1. No tagbacks!  You got her, you have to keep her!

      Posted by VKI on 2005 11 13 at 09:01 PM • permalink


    1. Her guide should point out to her the pleasures of splashing around near the Great Barrier Reef.

      Posted by paco on 2005 11 13 at 09:35 PM • permalink


    1. Her opinions on men are just as idiotic as her political views

      Posted by Latino on 2005 11 13 at 09:43 PM • permalink


    1. #20 – We could just send her up to snorkel with the Tiger Sharks on Ningaloo Reef.

      Sorry, I meant Whale Sharks.

      They let Margoyle in and now Modo is headed this way, too.  Another strong argument for Secession – WA needs stronger border controls!!

      (Somebody pay off the baggage handlers to slip an apple into her luggage – the AQIS Beagles will tear her to pieces!!)

      Posted by Razor on 2005 11 13 at 10:03 PM • permalink


    1. Dave S. — Hey! I like lipstick lesbians, buster!  I respect their life choices!  Why would I inflict Margo on them?  Why, I doubt I could hold the camcorder steady…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 13 at 10:19 PM • permalink


    1. She may be on a quest to get some Australian tube steak.  Better use two layers of latex.  Better safe than sorry.

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 11 13 at 10:20 PM • permalink


    1. How ‘bout a menage a trois with Modo, Margot and the Crocodile Hunter??  Will it be on pay-per-view?

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 11 13 at 10:22 PM • permalink


    1. I mean really, don’t you guys have border controls at all?

      Posted by Pat Patterson on 2005 11 13 at 11:25 PM • permalink


    1. Richard Mcenroe, just for you.

      Wikipedia entry on Aristasia

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2005 11 13 at 11:45 PM • permalink


    1. This is payback for all the screechy speeches Helen Caldicott has given on progressive radio in the US.

      Posted by Pat Patterson on 2005 11 13 at 11:51 PM • permalink


    1. Joe bagadonuts — I’ll check it out, but when women start “organizing” that usually translates as “Let’s rediscover starches!”

      Except when these women organize, of course…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 14 at 12:30 AM • permalink


    1. Hurrah! My city is holding the Perth Writers Festival in February 2006!
      Words cannot express my esteem for Writers Festivals. It’s a festival of writing! Hundreds of people, sitting at rows of desks, quietly beavering away at novels, poems and essays! All the fun and smell of a high school exam, without the distracting element of youth! Brilliant! I can’t wait!

      Posted by blandwagon on 2005 11 14 at 02:37 AM • permalink


    1. Remember the South Astrayan rorters’Festival -guest fawned on J.M. Coetzee,expat South African,anti war,anti detention,border controls etc now is ashamed of Astraya…

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 14 at 03:13 AM • permalink


    1. I, for one, welcome this cultural exchange, and think that we would all be well served by giving her a proper introduction to some of the more exotic fauna of Australia…  preferably something in the “sharp teeth and anger management issues” category.

      Posted by Vexorg on 2005 11 14 at 03:23 AM • permalink


    1. Well I’m hoping she accidentally tunes in to Australia All Over..

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 14 at 04:21 AM • permalink


    1. #31 – I liked him better when he was shy/reclusive and relatively unknown/unread.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 14 at 06:06 AM • permalink


    1. 33 – Auastralia All Over – aka apopleptic bush world?

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 14 at 06:08 AM • permalink


    1. #28 Pat

      This is payback for all the screechy speeches Helen Caldicott has given on progressive radio in the US.

      Well, to be honest, I suspect that Australia will be still well ahead in that case.  And please, please don’t send Caldicott back, whatever you do, we don’t want to scare the children.

      Posted by entropy on 2005 11 14 at 06:28 AM • permalink


    1. MoDo’s new book “Are Men Necessary?”

      Is Modo necessary?

      Posted by Abu Qa’Qa on 2005 11 14 at 06:51 AM • permalink


    1. o/t ABC tv’s Talking Head,Peter Thompson “interviews” ABC Science Show’s Robin Williams- one ex radio national and one current radio national,probably worked out of the same office…

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 14 at 07:01 AM • permalink


    1. If you want more information on the Perth International Arts Festival, go here.

      Posted by J F Beck on 2005 11 14 at 08:16 AM • permalink


    1. So who is going to tell Dowd that the Mad Max series is a movie? Some of the lefties have a hard time telling the difference between reality and fantasy.

      Posted by Andrew Ian Dodge on 2005 11 14 at 09:50 AM • permalink


    1. You FOOLS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! It’s the invasion of the twee non-funny flibbertygibbet!

      Any moment now someone’s going to crash into your windshield screaming, “YOU’RE NEXT!”

      Posted by Monroe Doctrine on 2005 11 14 at 10:03 AM • permalink


    1. Let’s pass the hat, folks!  We need to bribe the Quantas crew to make an emergency layover in North Korea, and dump MoDo there.  Hell, maybe she can “teach” the NoKo Army on decadent Western culture.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 11 14 at 06:43 PM • permalink


    1. #42 TRJ, don’t mean to be picky, but Qantas (no u) Queensland And Northern Territory Air Service. (or Queer And Nasty, Try Another Service… old joke). I thought the stopover in NZ was a good idea, but why stop?

      I read the webdiarrhoea stuff, they use a lot of ‘circular logic’, don’t they. Talking about fundamentalist Christians and how similar to fundamentalist Muslims & Hasidic Jews many of their practices are – but I’m pretty sure none of the latter two are blowing anyone up or planning to take over the world… And anyone who points that out is argued down with the most illogical, off subject arguments.

      Posted by kae on 2005 11 14 at 07:03 PM • permalink


    1. oops second part of my post was for the Stra’alia Law Imposed thread

      Posted by kae on 2005 11 14 at 07:05 PM • permalink


    1. #10, wronwright

      I can’t get the ‘fat thighs thick calves’ out of my head. My last image of Modo as a hot sex beast is fled…Shite!

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 15 at 12:10 AM • permalink


    1. #33. “Well I’m hoping she accidentally tunes in to Australia All Over.”

      That is so cruel.

      Posted by Brett_McS on 2005 11 15 at 02:56 AM • permalink


    1. Spare the macca and spoil Modo….

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 15 at 04:27 AM • permalink


    1. I would love to secure my city from the likes of MoDo, but I am sadly outnumbered by left wing idiots who refuse to pay for the drinks they’ve asked you to buy then later stand around whistling with their hands in their pockets pretending they don’t know what’s going on when it’s time to pay for parking your car even though you’ve offered to drive them home, then on the journey home they spend 10 minutes lecturing you about how Ikea furniture is so awful and mass produced and how we should all assemble our stuff from the piles of garbage people leave by the side of the road when the bulk collection guys come round….

      *pant pant*

      Yes I came across such people very recently.

      Posted by James Waterton on 2005 11 15 at 05:05 AM • permalink


    1. If she turns up at the Elephant and Wheelbarrow I’ve got some mates who don’t mind grabbing a granny now and then. I doubt she will though, she’ll be too busy delivering a speech to all the crickets and tumbleweeds likely to turn up at the Perth writer’s festival.

      I mean really. A writer’s festival here? You’d have more success holding the winter olympics here, unless it’s a convention for writers of beer ads or footy club songs.

      Posted by Yobbo on 2005 11 15 at 07:08 AM • permalink


    1. Sorry ekw.  I’m just speaking truth to power.

      And just so no one here gets any funny ideas,

      ’—>  I do not have   <—

      an intimate knowledge of those thighs and calves.  (visibly shudders)  I’m speaking from a casual observation gleaned from photos in an extremely fleeting manner.  Do not, I repeat,

      ’—>  do not believe   <—

      any nasty rumors my arch nemesis mentor, Richard McEnroe, has been passing around at the Neocon Club or Goughfest if he finally found the nerve to show up for it was able to make it.  He says very very mean things about me a lot (and my pleas for Andrea to DO SOMETHING about it go unheeded).

      Anyway, unlike some men I appreciate the beauty of an older woman.  Just not a butt ugly older woman.

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 15 at 02:55 PM • permalink


    1. wronwright—you’re a fickle bastard.  And she tipped you five bucks extra, too.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 15 at 08:42 PM • permalink


    1. “Dowd isn’t as bad as her columns.  She has a self-deprecating sense of humor and everything.  This is thrown to the winds when she writes.”

      This is like musician Malcolm Sargent [I think] who was once asked his opinion of Mahler, whose music he hated.  Diplomatically, he answered
      “It’s really better than it sounds.”

      Posted by Barrie on 2005 11 15 at 09:06 PM • permalink


    1. Maureen Dowd will visit Australia as a guest of the Perth Writers Festival in February.

      Well ain’t you lucky in Oz…While the bitch lady is on her visit, maybe you good folks can show her the nice Great White’s you have cruising some of your beaches….Damn, the White’s would no doubt spit her ass out.

      Posted by El Cid on 2005 11 15 at 10:05 PM • permalink


    1. Where’s the tyranny of distance when you need it?

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2005 11 16 at 12:22 AM • permalink


    1. Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore?

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 16 at 01:38 AM • permalink


    1. Thanks for the correction, kae.  Strine is such a confusing language………

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 11 16 at 07:36 PM • permalink


    1. el cid — I believe it’s called professional courtesy…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 16 at 10:27 PM • permalink


    1. Solution… fix her up with Helen Caldicott.  Screetchy voice meets screetchy writing.  A match made very near the Southern Ocean.

      Posted by Becker on 2005 11 17 at 12:22 AM • permalink


    1. Help!  We broke the server!

      Posted by Pixy Misa on 2005 11 17 at 05:46 AM • permalink


    1. I don’t think it is broken, just not displaying past 500.  The comments link says there is 539 comments, but only 500 display. (either that, or there is an automatic lock on the grog cupboard!)
      For the confused – see thread above this one!

      Posted by SezaGeoff on 2005 11 17 at 06:53 AM • permalink


    1. SNAP —- I KNEW someone would be here hiding behind the sofa….
      OH YEAH WRONWRIGHT,you wanna set limits -well where were YOU when Young and Free stole TIM’s oafish and infantile mmm?
      While you been cowering behind the couch swallowing the font cabinet keys OTHERS have laid waste to the Blair Mansion.
      OOH AH I’m TELLING Tim and you’re gonna get it….

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 17 at 07:15 AM • permalink


    1. Breaking News Terrorist Top threatens John Howard,Alexander Downer and the Australian People in a video presentation gleefully presented by sbs and abc..
      By the way “how long is a Tim Blair Thread???”…..

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 17 at 07:19 AM • permalink


    1. The lone anti Rumsfeldt protester in Adelaide has been joined by another 499.
      Did anyone else know there were 500 people living in Adelaide….?

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 17 at 07:27 AM • permalink


    1. Okay, so now we’re a team divided, but I see that’s Pixy is having a bit each way, huh!

      ekw snuck down to the Kim thread, while you lot   were too lazy to move more than one thread down.  Sigh.

      Meanwhile, others are still sending their posts, sometimes, twice, on the other thread, even though the lights are out … obviously just not keeping up!

      Posted by Ck on 2005 11 17 at 07:34 AM • permalink


    1. Holy crap, what has been going on? That’s a lot of commenting. What an opinionated bunch we are.

      Posted by James Waterton on 2005 11 17 at 07:48 AM • permalink


    1. I just realised something really spooky – did anyone else notice the subject heading of this thread ….


      What have we done?

      Posted by Ck on 2005 11 17 at 07:56 AM • permalink


    1. ck we broke the server 🙂

      I just popped in to see if there was a mass migration, and it looks like there is one.

      Not that that matters, as they say:

      “Wherever you go, there you are.”

      crash, the ‘terrorist’ vid was shown on the ch7 news, too.


      Another day, another threat.

      I’m off to sleep, kids.

      Try not to trash this thread, also. There are, after all, plenty of others to play in.

      Maybe we can devise a new game…

      I’ll check in for suggestions in the morning.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 11 17 at 08:05 AM • permalink


    1. Yawn……..

      If we were going to have a comments marathon, we should have at least rounded up some sponsorships to raise money for more food & drinks, oh, and a bigger server.

      Night nilk; night all.

      Posted by Ck on 2005 11 17 at 08:14 AM • permalink


    1. Mr Sandman send Nilk a dream…….

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 17 at 09:26 AM • permalink


    1. Check this out:

      Marriages between cousins should be banned after research showed alarming rates in defective births among Asian communities in Britain, a Labour MP said last night. The report, commissioned by Ann Cryer, revealed that the Pakistani community accounted for 30 per cent of all births with recessive disorders, despite representing 3.4 per cent of the birth rate nationwide. It is estimated that more than 55 per cent of British Pakistanis are married to first cousins, resulting in an increasing rate of genetic defects and high rates of infant mortality.

      See it here.

      Posted by J F Beck on 2005 11 17 at 09:54 AM • permalink


  1. What a real ‘apocalyptic world’ looks like:

    Late news:  2 Palestinians killed
    Palestinian security sources identified the men as militants from al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, a group within President Mahmoud Abbas’s Fatah movement.

    Sources say the men were on Israel’s wanted list, but had been absorbed into the security forces as part of Mr Abbas’s moves to end attacks on Israel following a truce in February.

    So the PLO’s ‘security forces’ are committed to destroying Israel by any means?

    And an Adelaide Rumsfeld protestor yesterday thinks HE is ‘an evil man’.

    Posted by Barrie on 2005 11 17 at 06:43 PM • permalink