Meteor creates mates

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 12:57 pm

Catastrophic climate-change events may deliver superb outcomes—such as the formation of Australia:

A meteor’s roaring crash into Antarctica—larger and earlier than the impact that killed the dinosaurs—caused the biggest mass extinction in Earth’s history and likely spawned the Australian continent, scientists said.

Ohio State University scientists said the 483-kilometer-wide (300-mile-wide) crater is now hidden more than 1.6 kilometers (one mile) beneath the East Antarctic Ice Sheet.

Only one mile down? It should be visible any day now, according to Phillip Adams, who these days is pre-emptively and unilaterally satirising himself:

With global warming, the rising waters will pretty soon drown all those $20 million harbour-side mansions, adding to the pressure of boat people and refugees. And we won’t be able to process them on Pacific islands, because they’re all going under. In the next few weeks.

And people say that dinosaurs are extinct. Not so long as the Adamsaurus roams Paddington.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/04/2006 at 08:47 AM
    1. How bloody sickening. I read Phillip Adams’ article and it sounds like he barracks for my beloved Richmond. Even the Tiges’ woeful performances over the last few decade haven’t made me want to change teams … but this?

      Posted by Zuzzy on 2006 06 04 at 09:05 AM • permalink


    1. Are there any bears, polar or otherwise, in Paddington?

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 04 at 09:15 AM • permalink


    1. Haven’t you heard of Paddington Bear?

      Posted by Zuzzy on 2006 06 04 at 09:19 AM • permalink


    1. But, more importantly, what does Tim Flannery think?

      Tim Flannery has received international acclaim as a mammologist and paleontologist, but in recent years he has become better known as an author and speaker with controversial ideas on conservation, the environment and population

      What next?

      Posted by Nic on 2006 06 04 at 09:37 AM • permalink


    1. Do mammologists study mammories?

      Just asking…

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 06 04 at 10:40 AM • permalink


    1. ArtVanDelay — Will an online university count my life experience in awarding me an Mammology doctorate?  Cuz I gotta tell ya, I see the damn things everywhere.  Can’t take my eyes off ‘em.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 04 at 11:01 AM • permalink


    1. Richard, I even see the things in my dreams so I think we’re both eminently qualified.

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 06 04 at 11:04 AM • permalink


    1. Australia is wasting a precious natural resource.  When the oceans begin to rise, roll Philco into the sea.  Like Hurricane Jim Wolcott off Manhattan, he will provide a useful breakwater to slow the wrathful fluids of the Blessed MILF Gaia long enough for folks to reach high ground.

      I’m not sure exactly how many of you can fit on top of Ayers’ Rock but it’s worth a shot.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 04 at 11:13 AM • permalink


    1. Is it just my imagination, or is there a strong ohpleaseohpleaseohplease tone in Mr. Adam’s tone?

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 06 04 at 12:01 PM • permalink


    1. feh ‘note in Mr. Adam’s tone’


      Posted by Achillea on 2006 06 04 at 12:02 PM • permalink


    1. #8: Like Hurricane Jim Wolcott off Manhattan, he will provide a useful breakwater to slow the wrathful fluids of the Blessed MILF Gaia .

      With our dude whaling cruise coming up, Mr. Adams would be wise to surround himself with buoys. Perhaps I should alert him. I’ll send Wronwright a letter asking him to do so, if I can remember.

      Posted by paco on 2006 06 04 at 12:06 PM • permalink


    1. Remember playing the game “kick the can”?  Well, you probably don’t, but hey, can we use our cruise ship to “bump the buoyed Mr. Adams”?  Maybe we can get a couple of ships to play.  Or why not get a whole lineup and organize a sea-borne game of footy?  I mean, we might as well have something fun to do since there isn’t going to be any dry land left.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 06 04 at 12:15 PM • permalink


    1. Hmmmm.

      Do mammologists study mammories?

      I am so there!  Where do I sign up for certification?

      Posted by memomachine on 2006 06 04 at 12:29 PM • permalink


    1. What in the name of Christ is this Adams writing about?  Real estate?  Envy of the rich?  Global warming?  I earned my Ph. D. in English, but I believe that English is not Mr. Adams’ first language…

      All we need to defeat the rise of the seas is for more big comets to hit the earth in the oceans.  Big craters will hold all that excess water.  And we should probably buy all those drowny polar bears rubber rafts to float around on.

      Posted by ushie on 2006 06 04 at 01:20 PM • permalink


    1. #13: Any Hooters Restaurant can certify you.

      Posted by paco on 2006 06 04 at 06:10 PM • permalink


    1. Why, in any article Philip Adams writes, does he end up talking about himself regardless of the topic? The topic was real estate and he has to tell us about the olive ranch and his Paddington sleepover!

      Posted by niobium2000 on 2006 06 04 at 07:20 PM • permalink


    1. Paco — Dammit! Find your own thesis!

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 04 at 08:40 PM • permalink


    1. No, no, no.  ‘Kay I gotta idea see we only need a few ships cause remember these are WHALING ships, which means they also carry little boats, which they use to go after whales.

      So we do loose raftup, each whaling ship positioning himself equidistant from the other ships while circling the Adamswhale.  Then each ship lowers her harpoon boats and we can have a sort of old-fashioned, Moby Dick-type harpooning competition!  That way we can stick with the whole Whaling Cruise theme and be evironmentally nice to real whales at the same time.  I’m sure Mr. Adams would approve.

      P.S. Ushie, I apologize for the above.  I hope it didn’t assault your mind’s ear too badly. :^)

      Posted by saltydog on 2006 06 04 at 10:19 PM • permalink


    1. And I was thinkin’ maybe we ought to consider that David Swanson person (who wrote “11 Reasons I am a Pussy”) for the first keep-hauling of the cruise.  If he lives, we could then hang him from the yardarm.  Then, being careful not to waste gaia’s precious resources, we could feed him to the fishes.

      I’m just offering suggestions.  Nothing is in stone.

      Posted by saltydog on 2006 06 04 at 10:28 PM • permalink


    1. #17: Paco — Dammit! Find your own thesis!

      What, you’re working along the same lines? What a fascinating coincidence! Next you’ll be telling me that you’re working on an anthology of Restoration drama, too!

      #19: Arrr! Trice him to the grate and give ‘im 20 of the best with the cat!

      Posted by paco on 2006 06 04 at 11:01 PM • permalink


    1. #20 — Starts rolling roundshot along Paco’s maindeck…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 04 at 11:54 PM • permalink


    1. With any luck the rising waters will reach beyond the Harbour mansions and up to Paddington.

      Posted by mr magoo on 2006 06 05 at 12:37 AM • permalink


    1. Saltydog, if you’re saying we should stab at Adams with harpoons as we drink tropical rum beverages, I’m with you!

      Posted by ushie on 2006 06 05 at 06:58 AM • permalink


    1. 23, ushie,

      “Keep-hauling!”  No wonder you aren’t sure what I was saying.  Make that “keel-hauling,” please.  (PIMF)  And yes, you understood me properly.

      Thanks for reminding me to mention that there will be double rum portions for all harpooning contestants and judges (that includes everybody except that Swanson boy).

      Posted by saltydog on 2006 06 05 at 07:18 AM • permalink


    1. Interesting that the Permian extinction was caused by a meteor impact. There was a doco called “The Day The Earth Nearly Died” shown a few months back on SBS claiming that the Permian extinction was triggered by global warming resulting from massive forest fires in Siberia, which then triggered the mass release of methane from the seabed causing even worse global warming. It will be interesting to see how the proponents of this theory plan to incorporate the meteor into their global warming scenario.

      Posted by Jim Geones on 2006 06 05 at 09:51 AM • permalink


    1. So a meteor wipes out most of the dinosaurs, and gives birth to a continent where eventually a hyperactive blonde guy will make a living humiliating the survivors? Awesome.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 06 05 at 12:10 PM • permalink


    1. #26 The Permiam extinction was prior to the Mesozoic extinction which killed off the last of the dinosaurs.  Doesn’t really matter.  Lots of theories are floated and seldom are they proved. Global warming / cooling is a case in point.  Theories do spawn grant money though, which is the point of the whole excercise.

      Posted by lmassie on 2006 06 05 at 06:13 PM • permalink


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