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Last updated on July 12th, 2017 at 11:08 am
Those sounds coming from the roof? It’s just Santa Claus scoping out the easiest means of home invasion. Either that or global warming is causing your tiles to warp and snap, which might be the case in Western Australia:
With the mercury set to soar, turkeys will all but cook themselves as the blistering temperature puts the heat on Christmas chefs.
To all readers: have a brilliant Christmas day, wherever you are – and if you’re lucky enough to live in a self-cooking turkey zone, save a slice for me.
UPDATE. Psychologist John Masterton on seasonal moderation:
Christmas Day is the one day when you can indulge so many of your pleasures that you end up doing each in moderation—a little gin and tonic, a little champagne, a little white wine, a little red wine, a little dessert wine, a little port …
He’s an Irish psychologist. Still, heed his message!
UPDATE II. From turbomaster Gale Banks, an “all inclusive, no offense intended greeting of Merry Christmas.”
(Many first learned of Mr Banks through mid-80s tales of his 200 mph road-registered Pontiac. His velocity-based quest for global Gaian harmony continues.)
Merry Christmas to all fellow Blairites. Snow has melted in my environs – I blame the Goracle for ruining my White Christmas.
Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 12 24 at 09:39 AM • permalink
Merry Christmas to the “bloghead” and his minions. I wish peace, happiness, and long lunches with expensive wine for all!
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 12 24 at 09:56 AM • permalink
Have a great Christmas all of you:
Ash, El Cid, Pogria, 185600, Grimmy, Paco, TheRealJeffs, Yojimbo, Mr Lefty, Mr Lefty’s cat, Texas Bob (where are you?), Dave S, Rebecca, Andrea, Elizabeth I.K. , anyone I’ve missed (sorry) and of sourse the Great and Dear Leader.
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 24 at 09:57 AM • permalink
Have better year than last year everyone. (Did anyone catch the SBS tongue bath they gave Rudd tonight, positively creepy)
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 24 at 10:01 AM • permalink
I should add, everyone on the guest list is invited over to my place to watch the Boxing Day Test.
- Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 12 24 at 10:08 AM • permalink
We are 10 inches deep in Utah snow and wondering if the state liquor stores are open Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas to Tim and all! (Send schnapps, please.)
Posted by Rittenhouse on 2007 12 24 at 10:20 AM • permalink
To everyone here and Tim of course
Merry Christmas, and thanks for some great reading too
I don’t post very often but I do read the blog each day and I love it
It’s after 1.30am here in Sydney and I’ve made the jelly for the trifle but I forgot I used the last of the sherry last Christmas and now I have none to pour all over the cake at the bottom of the trifle
What else can I use? Or it will be a teetotal trifle I suppose
It’s a bit late to see if the neighbour has any!
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 12 24 at 10:44 AM • permalink
#13 Down 3 bottles of red wine before attempting to eat said trifle. Guaranteed by that point the lack of C2H5OH in the trifle will have become irrelevant.
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 24 at 11:03 AM • permalink
Aussiemagpie—Try a rose, a white zinfandel, or sangria if you have it. Or brandy.
Blair, your backwards Australian ways got me racially profiled for Christmas! One of my co-marchers gave me what I thought was a very stylish and snappy Aussie drover’s hat. I’m checking my luggage at LAX to fly home and the brutha working the TSA luggage scanner is taking the bag from me. Suddenly his eyes snap up to the hat and he barks, “Sir! Do you have any firearms in this bag?!”
Just for the record, I was able to suppress my first response, “Sure, the Tec’s wrapped in my Klan robe…” since I wanted to get home…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 12 24 at 11:04 AM • permalink
LOL! Thanks for that advice !
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 12 24 at 11:16 AM • permalink
Aha! The rose will do the trick then – thanks
Trifle saved
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 12 24 at 11:18 AM • permalink
#13 Reminds me of a British advert for Castlemaine XXXX a few years back.
Aussies going on a camping expedition, with a 20-ft truck loaded up to 2m high with beer crates. They’re about to leave when one of them stops:
“Wait a minute Bruce – what about something for the ladies?”
Bruce goes into the house, comes back with 2 bottles of sherry and puts them on top of the beer stack. The van drives off.
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 24 at 11:26 AM • permalink
Don’t tase me,
brochina—it’s Christmas. (At least the story doesn’t involve a Yule log!)Posted by andycanuck on 2007 12 24 at 11:34 AM • permalink
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a Merry Christmas!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 12 24 at 12:14 PM • permalink
Of course – can’t wait for the usual chat after lunch about things political
Bunch of lefties so I’ll be getting stuck into the bubbly as they get all into a Rudd lovefest 🙂
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 12 24 at 12:16 PM • permalink
Warning: the following is not PC, sensitive to all non-christian beliefs, or meant to be anything more or less than what it is.
Merry Christmas, to all the Blairites. May God bless you richly, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. And thanks for all the fun and enlightenment served up daily, here in Blairland. Thanks, Tim!
Speaking of desired moderation, forgot to mention: Santarchy in NZ!
LOL! Yes plenty of bubbly to fortify me then on with the show 😀
Have a lovely day ash, and enjoy your first Christmas as a yummy mummy!
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 12 24 at 12:49 PM • permalink
Easter Bunny wilding?
I think there was something like that in an episode of The Goodies
Of course, Valentine’s Day will always be for expressions of love.
Marry Christmas to you and all your Blairites, Tim! 😀
(And I say that as a non-Christian. F*ck the PC and “happy holidays” crap.)
Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 12 24 at 02:24 PM • permalink
Your loss if you’re not too drunk to read down this far. Merry Christmas to one and all. And thanks for many hours of great reads, y’all.
Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2007 12 24 at 02:58 PM • permalink
Merry Christmas to all from snowy Ljubljana, Slovenia. We are rugged up in sub-zero temperatures and enjoying every minute of it. To anyone in or with friends and family in those US storms, please keep safe.
Happy, holy and healthy Christmas and all the best for the New Year.
Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 12 24 at 03:02 PM • permalink
Merry Christmas from Phoenix. The cactus is all decorated and the kids are alternately hyperventilating and asking if it is bedtime yet (it is noon).
Posted by tabitharuth on 2007 12 24 at 03:14 PM • permalink
Merry Christmas from the depths of South Australia.
Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 12 24 at 03:35 PM • permalink
#43 Likewise from another South Aussie. Here December has been cool, and today is Perfect Weather.
Merry Christmas to the Wise World of Blair.
If we all stick together in 2008 we just might make a dent in the Gorebal Warmening Religion.
If not, we’ll have a good laugh anyhow…My wish for the USA – a neo-con Republican to win again.. not too much to hope for in this weird world?
I’m going to skip the white wine, port, red wine – all my attention will be on the gin and tonic. Such of my attention that survives until I pass out on the couch anyhow.
Merry Christmas to all from Perth, which desperately needs a visit from Al Gore to bring on some of his ‘global warming’. Snow on St George’s Terrace, please, Al!
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 24 at 05:28 PM • permalink
And a Merry Christmas to sall from the New England Highway in New South Wales! (Tried to do a colour greeting like Ash in #3, but don’t know how.)
The family and I driving from Sydney to Queensland for the holidays, spending the time mainly in the Granite Belt among the vineyards and the fruit orchards.
Don’t post often, but always enjoy reading what Tim’s bloggers have to say.
You seem a nice mob.
#49 Good morning Ann J. Here’s one of the few things Wiki’s got right, to help with the colour.
Just make sure to use that fiendish perview!
To all my friends at Tim’s place, I give the gift of boogie-woogie, featuring Harry “The Hipster” Gibson from a 1944 Soundie. Dig that mad plaid, Dad!
If you don’t like it, just save the receipt and return to YouTube.
#55 That plaid is awesome Paco. Any tips where I could pick up a suit just like it?
In return for your most thoughtful gift, I got you the funniest shark to ever be in existence. For added humour, bear in mind that the people jumping into the water are evil Big Business types.
#58 Ash: I’m sure any place specializing in zoot suits could put you in the groove. This little item looks similar to the one Gibson is wearing.
#59: Very astute observation, Ann J. Gibson predated Lewis by more than a decade, but his playing was very “rock-and-rollish”.
I’m just watching my dear mother prepare christmas lunch and I can categorically guarantee that today a veritable genocide will be committed upon hundreds of St Helens Pacific Oysters and what looks to be at least 10 kilos of king and tiger prawns.
Warm regards to everybody here for a Merry Christmas.
Tim, thanks for an entertaining year. This blog keeps getting better.Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 12 24 at 07:15 PM • permalink
- I’ve heard self cooking turkeys taste like plastic.
We have had a classic Aussie Christmas so far here on the NSW north coast. Up early and down to the beach for a surf followed by some serious pool time back at home prior to moderating myself senseless this arvo.
Merry Christmas to all and don’t forget what starts at the Gee tomorrow – you beauty! Summer will be complete.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=BKjmPETG-LM
Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 24 at 08:41 PM • permalink
Of course, some people carry the charitable spirit of the season a little too far.
Now we know: those ears are just the ends of a completely unobstructed wind tunnel.
Merry Christmas to Tim, Andrea and all the rest of the folks who keep me entertained.
It’s always a treat to check in on the extended family to see what’s going on—I may not post much but I do stop by daily at El Casa de Blair to be reassured that things aren’t as bad as the MSM and the leftards would have me believe.
Again, Merry Christmas to all.
#23 Yeah, I am Ash_, as I’m not copoking this year. But, I am nervous about the cooks
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 24 at 09:09 PM • permalink
#81 Do you remember the old nursery rhyme:
“We’ll go copoking in yuletide, in yuletide, we’ll go copoking in yuletide, on a snowy winter’s morn” by Anon.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 24 at 09:11 PM • permalink
- CALVIN KLEIN KNICKERS, BOY STYLE WITH LACE
Not this boy’s style, 1.6.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 24 at 09:57 PM • permalink
Just went to take the turkey out of the oven. The cool and creamy skin was a clue. The second clue was there was no heat eminating from the oven. Aha! The gas had gone off when I reduced the temperature after the first 30 minutes.
God knows how the bloody thing will turn out now. Hopefully, No 1 son and co will have travelled sufficiently far along the “Christmas Cheer” path by the time I get there not to notice – much.
38C degrees hasn’t helped my present disposition, either (40C tomorrow).
Anyhoo… have a wonderFUL Christmas Tim, Andrea and all the merry Blairites.
Hey, 1.6, I was hoping for Calvin and Hobbes knickers (boy style). Haven’t opened the presents my folks sent me because I got off watch at midnight and doubled back to this morning, and didn’t want to risk opening something like an electric train or Red Ryder BB gun that’d I’d spend all night playing with.
WC, if you aren’t the copoker, who is? And more to the point, who is the poker?
Anyway, a most totally excellent non-PC Christmas to you all!
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 12 24 at 10:32 PM • permalink
#41 Tabitharuth, please post pics of the cactus!
I have boycotted christmas this year and have spent a few days alone and communing with the weeds in the backyard, while Magilla is running amuck with the extended family of outlaws; having a ball and encouraging dogs to bite.
God bless you all and hope your days are safe, merry and all round wonderful.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 24 at 11:19 PM • permalink
85 – aha! Looks like they’re on one of Goldfinger’s girlfriends too!
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 24 at 11:34 PM • permalink
BTW, we tried to dismiss an employee who had clearly lost his mind (eating dog poo, claiming his shoelaces were conduits to the spirit of Haile Selassie and admitting to being a fervent fan of Bob Brown), but upon reading through the fine print of his contract found we could do no such thing- there is no sanity clause.
- Best Wishes to all for Christmas & New Year.
On a sadder note:
Pianist extraordinaire, Oscar Peterson has died at 82.
Oscar is one of those musicians whose exuberance and mastery bring a smile to your face, or at least inwardly. His trio sessions recorded for Conifer/Saba in Germany in the 1960s(“Exclusively for my friends…”) are a treasure. Re-released on Polygram as a box set (513 830-2).
After suffering some strokes during the 90s one critic said “He now sounds like one amazing piano player instead of two.”
Islamically-unacceptable weather forecasting.
Merry Christmas Tim and to all the Blairians and Blairites around the globe.
*<:^)>
^^^supposed to be a Santa. I guess.Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 25 at 02:17 AM • permalink
97 – that’s all the excuse I need!
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 25 at 03:39 AM • permalink
Uh-oh, Ash_ has been at the BBC Ode. Just watch out for the Sumerian Mead.
And if anyone wants to take the time to figure out the time of this posting, yes, it is at 0245 hours on Christmas day.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 25 at 03:51 AM • permalink
I should add, everyone on the guest list is invited over to my place to watch the Boxing Day Test
Ash_, you are refering to the India test, I assume.
Best cricket headline I’ve seen in a long time Losing can become a habit
What a sorry shambles.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 25 at 03:55 AM • permalink
#86 Brett, strangely I had this same discussion with someone else today, in Brockville:
Which Newcastle is that? England or Australia?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 25 at 04:01 AM • permalink
I haven’t read the comments, so forgive me for my ignorance of what has come before.
I want to send my warmest regards for the Christmas season, hoping that everyone has a joyful day. May you each have a Happy and Prosperous New Year.
I also want to thank each of you for your comments, and for sharing your lives with us. You are a wonderful group of people and I feel lucky to be among you. Sometimes I’m not well, or I’d be with you more often. I do come and visit, though, even when I can’t comment. Please be well and happy!
Long Life Lady Liberty!
saltydog
105 – and the same to you, 1.6.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 25 at 04:14 AM • permalink
“I can’t fault the effort of the team but there are a few areas of expertise where we have to improve,”
Like, for example, the whole team’s ability at cricket? their skill level? their desire to win? their capability to win?
I hate to trash “my side” but when is the shame going to end? I was in Oz during the last test and it was humiliating; so humiliating I am considering writing to the UN about it.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 25 at 04:25 AM • permalink
Hey, in the spirit of the season: Happy Christmas England Eleven.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 25 at 04:26 AM • permalink
Merry xmas to you all, and hey 1.6!
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 12 25 at 05:59 AM • permalink
As Christmas presents go, discovering this beats a pair of socks from my auntie any year.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 25 at 06:30 AM • permalink
We need Al Gore here! It’s 6:15 am here, and it’s 32 (0 C.)! Too warm! Global warming!
Merry Christmas, from the until-Sunday snow-covered Alleghenies!
Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 12 25 at 07:17 AM • permalink
- Christmas wishes from Casa Pedro, to all, and especially to our troops.
We set a spare place at our Christmas feast today in honour of our servicemen and women deployed around the world as a reminder to all attending that the bounty we enjoy did not come without a price.A toast to our Diggers, and a sombre moment amongst all the joy and happiness of a typical Oz Chrissie day, complete with half pissed oldies, squealing kiddies, appalling jokes, 40C+ temperatures, prawns, crayfish, ham, turkey, indeterminate “cold meat”, some green stuff on a platter allegedly called “salad”, a small bathtub full of ice and beer, and a few Chateau Collapsible wine casks and bottles of bubbly for the ladies (and a few of the more adventurous youngins).We live in a wonderful country, prosperous, happy and peaceful. Long may it continue to be so.
Merry Christmas, Blairites. I hope yours was as good as mine.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 12 25 at 07:24 AM • permalink
Went diving for crays (Rock Lobsters) yesterday and caught 3 of the little cockroaches, then had them for dinner, with Swan River caught Tiger Prawns and chilli coconut Blue Manas Crabs and then took the girlfriends new boat out today (with the girlfriend) and caught 2 dhufish, and a pink snapper and a bunch of Black Arsed Cod.
Life is good.
Posted by deadparrot on 2007 12 25 at 08:28 AM • permalink
I’ve arrived home from a day on The Coast with my small family (Mum, Bro, SIL and a recently widowed family friend).
Pleasant time. I’m now as full as a pig. I was amazed at the goodies I received – I must have been a very good girl this year… or very clever!
It’s still Christmas in Qld. Hope everyone’s had a good one!
k
#137 It’s the rope kind of splice, kae.
Sailing is my first sport – spent years racing competitively and even gotz some trophies. I chose my nic to reflect that, but with tongue in cheek I had in mind the clichéd cry of yore… “splice the mainbrace!”
It’s an old seafaring gag which means break out the ship’s rum.
Has Pogria ‘splained her screen name yet?
What is the name of the song playing behind Mooneye’s video?
I haven’t heard that in years.
Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 25 at 11:03 AM • permalink
A Christmas message to the troops from Gina Elise.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 25 at 11:17 AM • permalink
Late to the party (as usual), but Merry Christmas (from a heathen) to all, and to all a good morning!! Chicago, sunny, calm, and 40F. A great day given Saturday’s 70MPH gusts, 15 degree F temp and ice.
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 12 25 at 01:30 PM • permalink
To quote those who came before me:
Merry Christmas y’all!
A very merry and SAFE Christmas to all of our armed forces around the world defending our freedom.
haven’t read the comments, so forgive me for my ignorance of what has come before.
I want to send my warmest regards for the Christmas season, hoping that everyone has a joyful day. May you each have a Happy and Prosperous New Year.
I also want to thank each of you for your comments, and for sharing your lives with us. You are a wonderful group of people and I feel lucky to be among you. Sometimes I’m not well, or I’d be with you more often. I do come and visit, though, even when I can’t comment. Please be well and happy!
Long Life Lady Liberty!
Warning: the following is not PC, sensitive to all non-christian beliefs, or meant to be anything more or less than what it is.
Merry Christmas, to all the Blairites. May God bless you richly, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. And thanks for all the fun and enlightenment served up daily, here in Blairland. Thanks, Tim!
(And I say that as a non-Christian. F*ck the PC and “happy holidays” crap.)
Thanks for another year of fun & intelligent reading. And G-d bless us, every one!
- Merry Christmas
Cheerful Channukah
Kickin’ Kwanzaa
Smokin’ Solstice
Erotic EidWhatever works!Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 12 25 at 01:44 PM • permalink
Merry Christmas from Paco Enterprises!
Looks like John Kerry got a magic helmet for Christmas.
. . .And here’s some educational material on Christmas. I particularly like the item about the student who killed a boar by ramming a book of Aristotle’s writings down his throat (damned near had the same effect on me during a philosophy class I once took).
- 145 – Erotic Eid?!?
For pity’s sake, richard, spare us the pictures.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 25 at 04:22 PM • permalink
A touching Christmas message from William Shatner (who’s getting pretty funny in his old age).
- memo about the knickers boy style!!! I’m not a drag queen people.!!!
That possibility never NEVER entered my mind, 1.6, until you put it there.
Nothing could possibly remove it now.
Except perhaps a visit to (nudity alert) DOMAI.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 25 at 07:03 PM • permalink
#88 El Cid, that was quite a story. It is worth reading. Cerebral Palsy is something a lot of people look at, shake their heads and say they wouldn’t want to live in that condition but sometimes human beings can thrive even when you couldn’t imagine it was possible.
One guy I’ve met with CP was confined to his electric wheelchair, lived in an institution paid for by the state and charity and couldn’t speak in a way that I could understand (others could). I was told he liked hugs and especially hugs from the nubile young nurses or aides who never seemed to notice that he’d always bury his head in their chests during the hug. I think he lives his life happier than many people.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 12 25 at 07:28 PM • permalink
#156 1.618, remember that shopping addiction of yours. Pogria may not have room for an entire herd of sheep, a sheepdog and a sheepskin jacket you thought was just too cute. If Pogria gets a sheep then try to find me some sort of souvenir. A postcard or something – I already have boy style undies so not those.
Merry Christmas everybody.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 12 25 at 07:31 PM • permalink
#19 The XXXX beer ad you described is here!
Posted by Young and Free on 2007 12 25 at 09:54 PM • permalink
- #167
(the Colonel quickly googles to make sure that a “haka” isn’t kiwi speak for “handsome shaved male sheep”) That would be great 1.618! Will you bring an all girl team of back up dancers with you?Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 12 26 at 05:46 AM • permalink
Looks like John Kerry got a magic helmet for Christmas.
…but no spear, right?
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 12 27 at 10:23 AM • permalink
Merry Xmas all, the rain is falling here (just after midnight our time) – and it is a normal work dayfor me in the morning.