Meet the forkers

Last updated on August 8th, 2017 at 04:54 pm

Newly-installed Labor leader Kevin Rudd:

I remember actually sitting on my father with a horse one day, he died when I was eleven so I don’t have a huge number of childhood memories of him but it was sitting at the gate of the property and looking down the road coming in from town and he said, “Well Kev, have you made up your mind yet?” Like I’m about ten years old at this stage and I thought, “I’m not sure what you mean Dad”, and he said, “Well you’re coming to that fork in the road”, and as a ten year old you look down the road and you see no fork …

He said that back in March. Rudd’s been seeing plenty of forks lately, however. In fact, through Kevin’s eyes, Australia is a regular prong-fest:

• Opposition foreign affairs spokesman Kevin Rudd says: “Howard has come to a fork in the road.”

• “Australia, in our view and in my view, has reached a fork in the road. We have reached a fork in the road on climate change; we have reached a fork in the road when it comes to proper protections for working families; we have reached a fork in the road when it comes to critical questions and challenges such as Iraq.”

• “Our belief is that Australia has reached a fork in the road – there’s a fork in the road when it comes to the economy,” he said.

• Mr Rudd nominated climate change, the manufacturing industry, industrial relations, education and health as the main points of difference between Labor and the Government and said the country was at a fork in the road.

• During his press conference after the vote, Mr Rudd said he saw workplace policy as a clear “fork in the road” — a turn of phrase he used nine times during his first press conference as Opposition leader.

Rudd deputy Julia Gillard is also in on the forking action:

I agree with Kevin that the election we will have next year is a fork in the road.

Rudd’s 2007 election slogan: IT’S TINE!

Posted by Tim B. on 12/04/2006 at 11:38 AM
    1. I remember actually sitting on my father with a horse one day

      No wonder he died young.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 04 at 11:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. I remember actually sitting on my father with a horse one day

      Shocking lack of filial respect! I hope when he comes to the fork in the road, he steps on it and it flips up and spears him in the forehead.

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 04 at 11:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Old-timers say they always had trouble with that sitting horse at the old Rudd place.

      Posted by C.L. on 2006 12 04 at 12:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. I already posted this on that other thread, but it’s more appropriate here.

      What we Yanks hear is “a foak in the road”.  If we didn’t use the same phrase ourselves (although far less often), we’d think it was another incomprehensible Strayanism.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 04 at 12:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. #3: Pricless, Lad, just priceless!

      #4 RebeccaH: Yeah, I thought he was talking about “folk” in the road; you know, like pedestrians.

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 04 at 12:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. #5: Oh, I say! “Priceless” not “pricless”. PIMF!!

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 04 at 12:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Concerning forks in a road, I find it sensible to follow Yogi Berra’s advice…

      [i\” When you come to a fork in the road….Take it “.

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 12 04 at 12:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Work The Fork is all this talking about?

      Posted by splice on 2006 12 04 at 12:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. We need more forking action!

      Posted by splice on 2006 12 04 at 12:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. These are the tines that try men’s souls.

      Posted by SoberHT on 2006 12 04 at 12:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. What amazes me Rebecca is some here have noted that Rudd sometimes adopts a false bogan accent.  How would I know when he does that?  When it becomes even more incomprehensible than it usually is?

      But you know, I do like the Aussie accent.  And their slang.  Yes, with the British Invasion I loved Liverpoolian.  And cockney.  But Aussie has a real no nonsense flavor to it.

      Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 04 at 12:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Robert Frost, in the much studied poem The Road Not Taken , reflects on how important choices seem to those always going on about forks in the road, and how they don’t in fact amount to a hill of beans.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2006 12 04 at 12:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Australia is a regular prong-fest

      I’ve always had the impressions you Aussies love a good time, but this makes it sound too good to be true!

      Posted by R C Dean on 2006 12 04 at 12:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. Me thinkum squaw-voice paleface speakum with forked tongue. Him big heap repetitive sonofumbitch too.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 12 04 at 01:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yojimbo Do you have a comment to make?

      Well, if you do, just fork it over.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 12 04 at 01:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. You know, I always have trouble figuring out which fork to use. Is this one for salad or is it for steak? Is this one for fish or is it the one in the road? Mind-boggling! Another reason why hamburgers are my favorite meal: no decisions about which fork to use.

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 04 at 01:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. I am a rock
      I am an island
      I have hit a fork in the road

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 12 04 at 01:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Check out the breath-takingly stupid letter on climate change from two U.S. Senators at the Wall Street Journal website. Then check the WSJ editorial reply.

      WSJ

      Posted by Merlin on 2006 12 04 at 02:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. I remember sitting on my father’s lap when I was eleven (no, no horse). He said “look out, there’s a scorpion on the road!” To this day, when I see a scorpion on the road, I say “look out, there’s a scorpion on the road!”

      We have to be careful with your parents. Whatever they say sticks to you. Of course I’m lucky; there are many more f**ks in the road than scorpions.

      Posted by ElectronPower on 2006 12 04 at 02:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. At least Rudd will be able to recognize the instrument in question when it’s time to say “stick a fork in him, he’s done” after he loses the election to Howard.

      Posted by PW on 2006 12 04 at 02:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Merlin

      Breath-takenly stupid and U S Senator is sorta redundant.

      And yes, that is Rockefeller as in the Rockefeller oil fortune, just in case anyone was wondering.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 12 04 at 02:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Pw#20

      And that would be the steak fork!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 12 04 at 02:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. Is there a book of tired old cliches somewhere that newly elected Labour leaders reach for, when they present themselves to the voters? We’ve had Latham’s ladder of opportunity (that lead nowhere)and now Rudd and Gillards mutual fork in the road (horrible to envisage). At least old Kimmy spared us the platitudes.

      Posted by Big Arnie on 2006 12 04 at 03:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. The entire Labor party is forked! Now with Rudd as Leader we await the inevitable Clash of Cutlery. And with Gillard as Deputy this could get ugly………real forkin’ ugly.

      Posted by 81Alpha on 2006 12 04 at 04:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Frankly,
      We need a little re-education,
      We need a little editorial control;
      Some fresh metaphors for the doorstops.
      Kevin! leave those words alone.
      Hey, Julia! leave that phrase alone!
      All in all it’s just another fork in the road.
      All in all you’re just another fork in the road.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2006 12 04 at 04:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe what he acually saw in the road, lo! these many years gone by, was (to borrow from Wodehouse) a silver cow-creamer. Perhaps he failed to pick it up. Perhaps he regrets not picking it up. Which would suggest, rather strongly, that with all these forks in the road, one would be well advised to count the silverware once Rudd leaves office (if he ever gets into office, that is).

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 04 at 04:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. Eleven uses of “fork in the road” cited. Does that mean there are now at least 2048 roads?

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 04 at 05:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. To continue from the other thread I wonder who Tony Grieg will forking vote for?

      Posted by Anthony_ on 2006 12 04 at 05:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Rudd is almost certainly the best leader the ALP could have come up with.
      That’s scary.

      Meanwhile, a piece of advice for him, given his deputy leader.

      It’s not the Fork in the road you have to watch out for, it’s the Knife in the back

      I was willing to give Latham a fair go – but it took all of two weeks for me to see the guy as an unstable bullying thug, and I said so on my blog wayy before the election.

      Rudd reminds me of Howard 25 years ago, very unpromising but we’ll see how he turns out. Gillard’s competent, but ruthless, and way too far left for me.

      Now if the ALP can contain their factional brawls, come up with a decent set of policies, they might even become a reasonable alternative government. That would keep the Libs on their toes at least, their game has been slipping simply because the ALP’s been a joke for years.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 12 04 at 06:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. I assume they’ll keep their forks in their buckets.

      Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2006 12 04 at 06:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. I like Rudd reminding Red Kerry he works in ABC current affairsand is by definition Rudd’s beatch. Live by the fork, die by the fork, Kerry.

      Posted by boxofmatches on 2006 12 04 at 06:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. A wise man once said: “When you come to a fork in the road….take it”.

      But, I think this whole post is forked up.

      Posted by rinardman on 2006 12 04 at 06:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m not so worried about forks in the road.

      It’s when they turn into tridents that I’ll start getting concerned because then we’ll need to summon mighty Poseidon, who’s a dab hand with a trident, to point us down the correct road.

      Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 12 04 at 06:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Forked in the head.

      Posted by kae on 2006 12 04 at 06:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Don’t forget he’s also talking about a bridge too far.  Or in the case of Howard on climate change, not far enough.

      Another useless pollie spouting useless metaphors…

      Posted by anthony_r on 2006 12 04 at 06:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. #32 rinardman

      A wise man once said: “When you come to a fork in the road….take it”.

      Is that based on quantum theory?

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 04 at 06:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Goody; I just love cutlery related policy…

      Posted by mordred on 2006 12 04 at 06:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. #31
      I’m sure that’s always implicit, especially when Kezza’s interviewing his own Minister, but to outright state it as in a veiled threat shows this guy’s true character; I’m sure he’d be quite ruthless to anyone a few rungs further down the ‘ladder of opportunity’

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 06:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. But does KRuddy’s fork go with the Red China?

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 06:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dundee Rudd: “That’s not a knife. This is a fork’n,knife!”

      Posted by Lofty on 2006 12 04 at 06:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Just on the issue of annoying character traits, my mates have started to call Kruddy “the Blue Tongue Lizard”.

      watch him, the next time he does a press conference.  Whenever he gets nervous, the tongue starts to pop out and lick those thin, pursed lips with disturbing frequency.

      It’s bad enough envisioning a PM named “Kevin” – must we also have one who can’t keep that muscle in his mouth?

      Posted by Apparatchik on 2006 12 04 at 06:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. #27
      A binary black/white sorta guy … the fork-in-the-road: my way or the highway …

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 07:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s admittedly a small sample (2) – but when a boy loses his father early is he more likely to end up either a over-the-top macho ‘suckhole’ or pulsing with ‘bucketloads’ of passive aggression?

      Posted by boxofmatches on 2006 12 04 at 07:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. This morning Kevvie was asked whether there will be a free vote for the front bench positions.

      Rudd said he didn’t care how the front bench was elected as long as he got the front bench he wanted. Looks like his method of operation is all about pretence.

      Posted by amortiser on 2006 12 04 at 07:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Is it appropriate to say…Fork You, Kev?

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 12 04 at 07:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. #36 MZ Is that based on quantum theory?

      No, that’s based on Yogi Theory.

      Posted by rinardman on 2006 12 04 at 07:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. #44
      Apparently KRuddy thought he’d just take over the reins but Bomber forced him into the reshuffle by publicly announcing it 🙂

      Little does Kevvie know that Julia switched the signs at the fork … he’s taken the low road …

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 07:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. #24 81alpha, you are really ladeling it on there.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 12 04 at 07:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Rudd is so authoritarian in his personal style, he makes Howard look like a hippie!

      To paraphrase a song by Rage against the Machine…

      “Fork you I won’t do what you tell me!”

      Posted by kollontai on 2006 12 04 at 07:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Which is your favourite implement?

      1. Rudd’s Fork
      2. Latham’s Ladder

      Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2006 12 04 at 07:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Latham wanted to read to your kids.
      Rudd wants to check their homework. With a red pen.

      Posted by boxofmatches on 2006 12 04 at 07:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. For those who wanted details about last night – I went down south (catching the train from Pymble to Padstow, what an exiting journey), and it was a great night. In the end, there was nothing exciting at the movies, so we actually ended up just going back to the house she was house sitting and just talking for the next three and a half hours. I didn’t realise how good it would be to be able to just enjoy someones company – I didn’t find myself getting bored, which was great.

      I know that makes me some sort of half man or something, but either way, it was a good night.

      Posted by Stuart Lord on 2006 12 04 at 07:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. So, back to the father/horse anecdote:

      I remember actually sitting on my father with a horse one day

      I would’ve expected “sitting with my father on a horse.”

      But he has described a pile-up on his dad: him and the horse, sitting on his dad.

      I think we’re digging up some childhood problems, here.

      Posted by m on 2006 12 04 at 08:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m sorry folks. The mental images of Jools forking our ‘alternative’ prime minister in the middle of the road while he sits a horse on his dead father beside a bucketload of something really unpleasant…

      …it’s all too much for me. I am going to have a quiet lie down.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2006 12 04 at 08:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Rudd is essentially a bully.

      Some of the stuff he has said in parliament – even in the rough and tumble – has been disgraceful. Particularly against “Saddams’ bagman” Downer.

      But he expects an absolute free ride (Sunrise style) from the media – no hard questions, just let me repeat my message.

      Bizarre.

      Posted by boxofmatches on 2006 12 04 at 08:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Who would have thought there would be more forks under a Rudd led Labor party than a Beazley led Labor party?

      Posted by Edward on 2006 12 04 at 08:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. Rudd. Rudd.
      Steele Rudd.
      Dad n’ Dave, On Our Selection.

      D’ya think there’s a connection?

      Posted by kae on 2006 12 04 at 08:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Latham – “Ease the squeeze”, “Ladder of opportunity”, “conga line of suckholes”

      Rudd – “fork in the road”…

      What is it with these labor leaders and their catch phrases?

      Posted by rbresca on 2006 12 04 at 08:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Just so long as Woody Woodpecker doesn’t start waving her fork around.

      How’s this for a slogan for the Liberal Party next election-
      “Fork Off, You Forking Forkers.”

      BTW- expect to see some dirt on Kevvie filtering out in the next few weeks- he hasn’t a lot of mates in the Qld public service. The sweetness and light/voice of reason image so carefully run in the media is bollocks- he’s a nasty, vindictive, ambitious little shit who probably croaked his old man so he couldn’t run against him for pre-selection.

      I’m also surprised Woody’s former career as a persuer of emergency vehicles hasn’t been brought up, particularly when she was appointed health spokesperson- I found it a little hypocritical for her to be stridently squarking about the crisis in medical indemnity cover when she was partly responsible for said crisis.

      The ALP has a novel idea of what constitutes a “dream team”- what appears to be the result of a bizarre gene splicing experiment involving a squirrel and a swotty, ignored minor prefect, and a cartoon character with a big arse and a voice like the PA operator at Mt Druitt Safeways. Sounds like a fuckin’ winner to me.

      Posted by Habib on 2006 12 04 at 08:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Look on the bright side.
      He least he doesn’t use 2006’s most used and abused term – the repulsive, overworked and totally inane…… (drum roll please…)

      GOING FORWARD

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 04 at 08:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. How long til KRuddy’s first fork-up?

      #60
      “Going fork-ward”?

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 09:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. “This fork in the road has emerged because John Howard has taken a bridge too far. A bridge too far on industrial relations. a bridge too far when it comes to Iraq and a bridge too far on climate change by not going far enough”.

      What can you possibly say about somebody whose only currency is to talk in cliches? I love the last one though – a bridge too far on climate change by not going far enough.

      Absolutely fuckin’ priceless. Frankly, I think voting for Rudd might be a bridge too far.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 04 at 09:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. You can tell how lame the whole situation is, how Labor are scraping the bottom of the barrel no matter how many tired, lame cliches they keep reguritating, when Krudd has to come out and ask the people to call his office and suggest ways for the ALP to differentiate themselves from the Libs…

      NEW Labor leader Kevin Rudd today told voters to give his office a call and share their ideas on how his party should develop policies that offer a clear alternative to the Howard Government.

      I mean is that real friggin’ Prime Ministerial material or what???  Look out if this lame @rsed sock puppet ever gets to sit in the big chair!!!

      Rudd tells voters to give him a call

      Posted by casanova on 2006 12 04 at 09:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. Red Kezza O’Brien last night talking to Rudd:
      “Your nicknames include Pixie and Harry Potter….”

      Red could have added (and didn’t, but would’ve had Rudd been a Liberal), the additional nicknames Knucklehead and Dr. Death.

      Poor Red was nearly swooning. The last time I saw him in such a transcendental state of looking like he was going to give his subject a great big, sloppy kiss, was the same interview he had with Latham two years ago. Kezza fairly trembles with excitement when Labor get a new leader.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 04 at 09:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. #63 – the Sunrise approach. Give us a bell!

      Posted by boxofmatches on 2006 12 04 at 09:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. Fork in the Road sounds like a Dali painting, and makes as much sense.

      That or a pretentious, self-indulgent, public-funded travelogue featuring an ethnic git swanning about, making incomprehensible vignetes which are supposed to represent the character of a town or region.

      Both sum up the potential of a Ruddgillard* regime.

      *Sounds like something by Jonathan Swift, and ironically so- it features a Lilliputian Leader and a Brobdig Nag.

      Posted by Habib on 2006 12 04 at 09:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. yyyyyep, Australia’s forked…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 04 at 09:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. Julia Gillard: Confirmed spatula.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 04 at 09:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. Since a single fork is a terrible waste of energy and resources is it possible Rudd was talking about a spork in the road?

      Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 12 04 at 09:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. That is some damn horse! Not only did it sit down with Kev and his dad and spout cliche’s, but it’s death was responsible for the future direction of the ALP!

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 04 at 09:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. The spork – a far more inclusive symbol for our nation.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 04 at 09:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wonder if “KRudd & Spillard” give away a free set of steak knives with their forks-in-the-road?

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 09:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. #62 What can you possibly say about somebody whose only currency is to talk in cliches? I love the last one though – a bridge too far on climate change by not going far enough.

      You’re not the only one: Howard made a crack about that absurd line at a press conference yesterday, and even the comrades at the ABC couldn’t resist running his riposte in their bulletin.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 12 04 at 09:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. They’re always a knife short of a KFS set.

      Posted by deadparrot on 2006 12 04 at 09:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. So let me get this straight…

      Labor dumped Beazley because he couldn’t “cut through”.

      Then replaced him with a guy obsessed with forks.

      There seems to be some confusion as to the correct functions of cutlery here.

      Inevitable conclusion: The ALP caucus aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.

      Posted by RexW on 2006 12 04 at 09:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. hey diddly dud
      gillard and rudd
      the harpy and the dork
      l’il john laughed to see such dweebs
      impaled on their own fork

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 04 at 10:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. I wonder what Airhead Lowenstein thinks of Labor’s new pro-Israel leader?

      Posted by Tex on 2006 12 04 at 10:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. #59
      PA operator at Mt Druitt Safeways: “Plastic fork pile-up in isle 3 …”

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 10:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Karl on the Today show actually got stuck into Gillard on her reported support for Beazley back in March. No honeymoon on 9 it would seem.

      But we have to be a little fairer to Rudd and his love of forks. He is absolutely right: we are coming up to a fork in the road at the 2007 election. One leads to further growth an prosperity for the nation, the other leads to the ‘70s (I get a kick out of that reversal of fortunes. We don’t hear the old Howard wants to take us back to the ‘50s anymore. Not since the ACTU and the ALP (redundant I know) found the trip to the ‘70s is Shortenshorter).

      Posted by Justin on 2006 12 04 at 10:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. Has anyone read Phillip Adams in today’s Australian?

      Isn’t there something attractive about a pollie who knows more about Dietrich Bonhoffer than Donald Bradman?

      Personally, I don’t think so at all Phil. To be honest, I think that’s the left’s biggest problem – the best way to reach people is to look down your nose at them.

      Posted by AnthonyC on 2006 12 04 at 10:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. You can not get more forked in Australian politics than having a Philip Adams endorsement.

      What did this Bonhoffer chap bowl? Gentle outswingers or slow Chinamen?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 04 at 11:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. IT’S TINE!
      Sounds like something the World Mayor might say.
      John So, he’s my bro.

      Posted by burrah on 2006 12 04 at 11:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. There’s a fork in road alright.

      One’s marked Labor and leads to a cliff, and another one’s marked Liberal which goes over a bridge.

      I think I now which fork I’ll take.

      Posted by rightsaid on 2006 12 04 at 11:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. #78
      … or aisle 3 ;)’

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 11:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. #80
      1. Bradman was an Aussie, for starters (cultural cringe?)
      2. Phatty got Bonhoeffer’s name wrong?

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 04 at 11:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. #52Stuartlord:I know that makes me some sort of half man or something, but either way, it was a good night.

      Speaking from the female’s side of things, enjoying an evening of good company without getting your end in does not make you a half man.

      It makes you a man, and demonstrates that you’re not just out for one thing.

      Don’t beat yourself up for enjoying a woman’s company, and I’m glad you had a good time.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 04 at 11:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. #71 pffft – spork indeed – it’s splayd in oz as any fule kno

      Posted by KK on 2006 12 04 at 11:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Don’t beat yourself up for enjoying a woman’s company

      Luckily I can still remember Sunday School and my mother’s words ringing in my ears about decorum. Otherwise I would make a very crude comment about beating oneself whilst enjoying the company of women. A blessing for all that my mother raised me proper.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 04 at 11:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. we actually ended up just going back to the house she was house sitting and just talking for the next three and a half hours… I know that makes me some sort of half man or something, but either way, it was a good night.

      Functional MRI’s show that the arousal centers of a woman’s brain are activated by good conversation with a man. You were seducing her, you devil.

      Anybody gives you grief for not nailing her ASAP, just remind him of the old bull and the young bull looking down on the cow herd in the valley.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 12 04 at 11:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. #59:

      The ALP has a novel idea of what constitutes a “dream team”-

      Lol, let me think; A tall, Aboriginal Lesbian with Trade union credentials and a shorter, black clad man who can speak another language, with a background in the ‘yartz, prefferably ‘protest theatre’.

      With ‘Ruddlard’ they ain’t far off it would seem.

      Posted by Nic on 2006 12 04 at 11:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. #89: Anybody gives you grief for not nailing her ASAP, just remind him of the old bull and the young bull looking down on the cow herd in the valley.

      Er, what about ‘em?

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 04 at 11:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. Whoa, Paco, you’ve never heard this one? Okay, here goes:

      A young bull and an old bull are on a hill, looking down into a valley at a herd of cows. The young bull says, “Hey, let’s you and me run down this hill and f*** one of those cows!”

      The old bull says, “Nope.”
      The young bull says, “Why not?”

      The old bull calmly says, “Because I’ve got a better idea.”

      The young bull sneers, “Oh, yeah? So what’s your ‘better idea’, old man?”

      The old bull says, “We walk down this hill, and f*** all of those cows.”

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 12 04 at 11:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Is there a book of tired old cliches somewhere that newly elected Labour leaders reach for, when they present themselves to the voters?

      They’re speaking to their base… using the biggest words they’d understand.

      Posted by gajim on 2006 12 04 at 11:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. And we thought Beazley was a verbose windbag – check out this tortured language from KRuddy:

      “This fork in the road has emerged because John Howard has taken a bridge too far – a bridge too far on industrial relations, a bridge too far when it comes to Iraq and a bridge too far on climate change by not going far enough

      Then again, he could have been in favour of the bridge before he was against it!

      Posted by mauriemoose on 2006 12 05 at 12:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. from a previous thread -‘there was one particular incident at the Holy Grail involving Julia, another female Labor MP, a proposition and a nice piece of bitch slapping’.

      who was the other female mp?- ive been looking at all the stunners at the alp website and am racking my brain trying to figure out who. if it was kate ellis it’s understandable though anne mckewen looks more the type.

      was mud and/or jelly involved?

      does anyone else find it strange caucus includes three men called kim?

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 05 at 12:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #92: Ah, Dave, I have led a sheltered life and had not heard that one. Thanks for giving me the low down.

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 05 at 12:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Could be worse. At least they didn’t come to any of them silly roundybout traffic circles in the road.

      Posted by triticale on 2006 12 05 at 12:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. If Labor comes to power, I fear we will all be coming to plenty of toll booths in the road.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 05 at 12:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines…………………..
      speaking of which what is the dream teams position on same sex marriage?

      Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 05 at 12:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. #59 & #78
      Mt Druitt Safeways Woolies mate, in NSW.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 05 at 12:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. #97

      Could be worse. At least they didn’t come to any of them silly roundybout traffic circles in the road.

      Crash or crash through.

      Posted by kae on 2006 12 05 at 12:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. jcc7033 Is there a book of tired old cliches somewhere
      Is there any sign of The Light On The Hill
      yet?

      As 1916 Stalin revolution as you can get, but would you believe members the ALP still refer to each other as “comrade”.
      You couldn’t make it up. Comrade.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 05 at 12:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. boxofmatches, can’t he be both an “over-the-top macho ‘suckhole’” and “pulsing with ‘bucketloads’ of passive aggression?”

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 12 05 at 12:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. A little bit of background on Dad & Dave created by author Steele Rudd.

      The immortal, original, Dad & Dave is still available for broadcast on radio.

      The marvellous adventures of the folk from Snake Gully … this original EMI Radio series has been re-packaged into a fast-moving, shorter episode format and is still a winner with sponsors and listeners alike.

      Based on the characters created by Steele Rudd in his book “On Our Selection”, the radio serial began its marathon run on Sydney’s 2UW on 31st May 1937.  It was broadcast 4 nights per week in 15 minute episodes, and ran for 15 years.

      It came about when Wrigleys, the chewing gum manufacturer, asked its advertising agent to create a serial that was Australian in character and would appeal to a national audience.  It became a part of daily life for many Australians.

      It would be interesting to look through the Rudd family tree and look for a Dave or a Mabel. Interesting that Rudd’s family were sharecroppers inland from the Sunshine Coast. It’s the most tenuous and feeble connection to the Snake Gully mob but interesting nonetheless.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 05 at 12:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Bonmot, look!

      Snake Gully

      Posted by kae on 2006 12 05 at 12:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. A veritable gold mine of Old Dad and Dave radio programs here.

      Posted by kae on 2006 12 05 at 12:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. #106
      oops if you pay for them.

      Posted by kae on 2006 12 05 at 01:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. 1.  “Fork in the Road”

      2.  The TV version

      3.  Or this …

      Cheers

      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2006 12 05 at 01:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think you’ll fine that Steele Rudd was a nom de plume’, his real name was Arthur Hoey Davis.

      Could Kevin Rudd really be Arte Johnson? That’d explain the interest in Dietrich Bonhoffer.

      Posted by Habib on 2006 12 05 at 01:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. Habib
      Ah memories, memories.
      I actually met Art Johnson – I guess early 70s, in the days when Channel 10 used to bring out a big star from one of their shows for the company Christmas Party.

      It was ‘Verrry interes-ting’

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 05 at 01:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. As in the legal challenge against Heather Hill (One nation) who had dual citizenship of Australia and the UK.  A High Court decision did not allow her to take a seat in parliament.  Has Julia Gillard (Born in Wales and migrated with her family at the age of four) tied up this possible loose end.

      Posted by Howzat on 2006 12 05 at 02:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Isn’t “cut through” now part of the lexicon: have Krudd & Spillard added a butter knife to the range?

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 05 at 02:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. When Rudd and Gillard come to this fabulous ‘fork in the road’ how can they be certain they will take the right fork?

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 05 at 02:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. Kevin ‘Mick Dundee’ Rudd hails from: A little place called Eumundi, if you’ve ever drunk a brew called Eumundi Lager, that’s where I come from, Black Snake country it’s called.

      Anyone fancy sinkin’ a few tinnies with Kev, listenin’ to a few yarns about the the ole Black Snake Country?

      Didn’t think so….

      Posted by Big Jim on 2006 12 05 at 02:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. whichever fork in the road he takes, take the other one cos the forker’s got no idea.

      Posted by larrikin on 2006 12 05 at 02:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ahh say that boy is about as sharp as a bowlin’ ball

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 05 at 02:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Good to see the ALP are over this class warfare crap as they go out of their way to paint Kev as a down at heel, rootin’, tootin’, shootin’, piss sinkin’, Mandarin speakin’, fork takin’, bridge crossin’, country boy made goodun.

      I’ll drink Julia Gillard’s bath water if they can prove he drinks Eumundi Lager.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 05 at 02:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. #117 yes, you have to strain it through your teeth.

      Posted by entropy on 2006 12 05 at 03:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. #52 Stuart Lord

      For those who wanted details about last night – I went down south

      snigger ;p

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 05 at 04:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. OT: Islamic fascism in Malaysia: Town to fine women for wearing mini-skirts. Here’s a quote, just because I like her name:

      “It is not the job of the council to become the ‘moral police’,” Honey Tan, head of the All-Women’s Action Society, told the Star.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 05 at 04:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. No, no, I wasn’t talking about sex when calling myself a ‘half-man’, merely making a crack about myself against the time old standard of men hating conversation, possibly pointing to metrosexual inclinations upon my part.

      Anyway, I’m one of those theocon Christians, so I’m not looking for that sort of thing anyway. So sorry that the comments regarding sex and my lack thereof that were wasted, I’m not looking for that anyway in a relationship :p

      And now, being a good theocon and all, I’m going to have to wash my hands after saying the forbidden words, so I’ll leave you all to it. :p

      Posted by Stuart Lord on 2006 12 05 at 04:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. #114

      Black Snake country it’s called.

      It’s full of poofters and dickheads now.

      Posted by murph on 2006 12 05 at 06:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. We’ll have to wait and see if Kevin & Julia can call a splayd a splayd.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2006 12 05 at 06:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. His Vision!

      Equity … Sustainability … Compassion.

      “Cutting through” like a fork.

      http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,20876156-601,00.html

      Posted by boxofmatches on 2006 12 05 at 07:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. more fork. i wonder if there are any recipes for roast rooster

      Posted by KK on 2006 12 05 at 07:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. MuzzieZapper

      Here’s a quote, just because I like her name:

      Yes, it is a lovely name…wonder if googling, ummmm, searching for a picture will produce the Ms. Honey Tan?

      Idiot bastard Islamists…they will never ‘get it’…I mean mini’s and see through blouses…boil them in oil, I say.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 12 05 at 08:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. Are you accusing Labor’s new leader of speaking with a forked tongue, Tim?

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 12 05 at 10:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. #121 Thanks for sharing Stuart.

      Just remember that, even if it’s not your style, should you ever feel the need to share tales of orgiastic end-of-Roman Empire style excess, the team here at Timboland will be here for you 24/7 to provide oooh-er analysis and up to the minute dirty jokes and double entendres.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 05 at 06:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Stuart
      I’m pleased that I have assisted in the course of true love/romance. God knows, I don’t have any.
      I think the ferry ride/Manly was a good idea.
      Didn’t you say you are only 22? Life is ahead of you.

      Posted by kae on 2006 12 05 at 06:58 PM • permalink

 

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