May as well buy a common owl

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Last updated on July 24th, 2017 at 08:28 am

Pay $75 for a penguin and you don’t even get to take it home. Or cook it.

Posted by Tim B. on 09/30/2005 at 09:54 AM
    1. Don’t feed them peanuts!  There is this warning in _Philosophical Papers_ “Three Ways of Spilling Ink’’ J.L.Austin

      4.  The notice says `Do not feed the penguins.’ I, however, feed them peanuts.  Now, peanuts happen to be, and these prove, fatal to these birds.  Did I feed them peanuts intentionally?  Beyond a doubt : I am no casual peanut shedder.  But deliberately?  Well, that seems perhaps to raise the question, `Had I read the notice?’ Why does it?  Or `on purpose’?  That seems to insinuate that I knew what fatal results would ensue.  Again, why?

      It seems to me he’s trying to get out of it

      Posted by rhhardin on 09/30 at 10:11 AM • permalink


    1. “… fairy penguins”?…

      Sounds like a cause celebre in there somewhere….

      Posted by Challeron on 09/30 at 10:15 AM • permalink


    1. Well, paying $75 for a penguin is outrageous.  I mean, url=]typically growing to 40 centimetres tall and weighing about a kilogram[/url], one should be able to get at least 6 for $75.  They aren’t an endangered species, after all.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 09/30 at 10:19 AM • permalink


    1. Well, paying $75 for a penguin is outrageous.  I mean, typically growing to 40 centimetres tall and weighing about a kilogram, one should be able to get at least 6 for $75.  They aren’t an endangered species, after all.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 09/30 at 10:19 AM • permalink


    1. Sorry!  🙁

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 09/30 at 10:20 AM • permalink


    1. …little penguins (formerly known as fairy penguins).

      Gay couples are encouraged to adopt.

      Posted by slammer on 09/30 at 10:22 AM • permalink


    1. Mmm, penguin.  Yum.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 09/30 at 10:26 AM • permalink


    1. RE #4: I mis-spelled “centimeters”.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 09/30 at 10:29 AM • permalink


    1. “For $75, adoptive parents can get a personalised thank-you note from their new addition”. Penguins can write? That makes them smarter than dolphins, doesn’t it? Oh, wait . . . Margo, Chris Sheils . . .  no, I guess it doesn’t.

      Posted by paco on 09/30 at 11:05 AM • permalink


    1. Hungry train hobo to Bugs Bunny with regards to the penguin he was accompanying to the South Pole:

      “Penguins taste basically like chicken, you know.”

      Posted by wronwright on 09/30 at 11:43 AM • permalink


    1. I’m against people taking penguins home. They might teach your kids to walk funny.

      Posted by ErnieG on 09/30 at 12:17 PM • permalink


    1. Mmm. Penguin

      Most people think Penguin should be served like duck – perhaps grilled with a red currant sauce.

      Not so.  Penguin is a robust bird and should be used as a substitute for beef or lamb.  It tastes great on the barbie. A personal and easy to make favorite is Flaming Penguin Kabobs:

      Slice penguin into 1-inch cubes. Mix spices in with olive oil. Marinade cubes in spice mix. Refrigerate overnight, stirring occasionally. Slice onions and bell peppers into wedges. Place vegetables and penguin cubes alternately on skewers. Brush lightly again with marinade. Grill for 10 to 15 minutes until golden brown outside. Turn and baste continually with beer. Douse lightly with brandy and light before serving.

      Sneaking the penguin out of the zoo without getting caught is the hard part.

      Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 09/30 at 01:17 PM • permalink


    1. Note to Richard McEnroe, annoited hand maiden to Karl Rove with regards to penguin shish kabobs:

      Don’t even think it.

      Posted by wronwright on 09/30 at 03:18 PM • permalink


    1. Can anyone tell me if this is good value?

      Wouldn’t adopting a Somali through the CCF be better value? I’m really skeptical about whether these penguins write their own thank you cards.

      What about battery chickens? You’d have to be able to get a couple of hundred for $75 and they offer a better return.

      How much of an Iraqi orphan could I get for $75?
      B Rheinstein: Kabobs!?

      Posted by RainDog on 09/30 at 03:19 PM • permalink


    1. I’m sure the Linux community will fund the hell out of those gimpy little waddlers.

      Posted by monkeyfan on 09/30 at 03:45 PM • permalink


    1. Look instead of adopting penguins, we’ve got some nice little owls up here in Warshington State. And you can take them home with you. The best part is that you can exercise them whilst you’re flying back to Australia, just put them on a leash and throw them out the window…..uhmmm…ok maybe the pilot can do it. The adoption is free, and they answer to Spot.

      Posted by Mike H. on 09/30 at 04:36 PM • permalink


    1. I’d imagine they taste more like *frozen* chicken. *Boooo*.

      Posted by Aaron – Freewill on 09/30 at 04:38 PM • permalink


    1. #14, I imagine Somalis would have to be marinated for a very long time.  A very long time.

      Dunno about Iraqi orphans.  The U.S. Army is busy eating them.

      (This is a tasteless joke for the irony-challenged, btw)

      Posted by RebeccaH on 09/30 at 07:09 PM • permalink


    1. Well my old aunt in Brighton would love one.
      Last year, iwent down on the train from London to visit her.
      “So how’s life Francesca ?”
      “ to tell the truth, i get a little lonely here, there are no Italians and i miss those get togethers with my old freinds from florence”
      As i walked back through the little cobbled streets to the station, I distinctly hear the words “Belle Figa” coming from one of the small shops.
      Turning around, i noticed a pet shop. Well i thought , at least the owner might like to talk with zia Francesca.
      Inside i realised the shop owner was a true blooded Brit.
      “Tell me” i asked “Who speaks Italian here?”
      “ Oh you mean Enzo, the Australian whte cuckatoo. He used to belong to an Italian who died some while back”.
      “I see. please deliver him to my aunt around the corner with my card , its a surprise birthday present’
      I made out the check and left for London.
      Next afternoon. i rung Francesca.
      Well Zia mia , “How did you like my present?”
      “ NOt bad” she replied “ but to tell you the truth, i prefer chicken cacciatore”
      A few days later I

      Posted by davo on 09/30 at 07:15 PM • permalink


    1. Formerly fairy penguins? Does PC now stand for Penguin Correctness?  And was this a naturally transition or does the fairy penguin have to really <u>want</i> to change?

      And what about fish in plastic bags?  Are they a really really big threat?

      wronwright—I don’t do penguin kabobs.  The skewers make too much noise in the blender.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 09/30 at 07:57 PM • permalink


    1. A few days later I

      For some reason the way davo ended his comment just like that is so poignant…

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 09/30 at 08:42 PM • permalink


    1. the money will be spent on penguin rehabilitation

      Penguins in rehab?

      So, what’s the drug of choice for penguins?

      Posted by rinardman on 09/30 at 09:11 PM • permalink


    1. There does seem to be a problem.

      Posted by rinardman on 09/30 at 09:21 PM • permalink


    1. Adopted penguins? Oooo, yummy … err … goody!

      [Slaps fluke and slides up beach – “Weeeeee!”]

      Posted by Keiko.K.Whale on 09/30 at 09:31 PM • permalink


    1. How about the Hank Reardon adopt a “beer bottle” program

      “Although our beer bottles are healthy and in good numbers, the local population is incredibly fragile and there is still more to be learnt about their contents and life cycles,” Mr Reardon said.
      Hank’s beer supply is part of a delicate ecosystem that is susceptible to threats such as pilfering, overindulgence, warm weather and population decrease due to major sporting events”

      Help fund this 50 year study. $10 per bottle and no, you don’t get to take them home.

      Posted by Hank Reardon on 09/30 at 10:34 PM • permalink


    1. Andrea: For some reason the way davo ended his comment just like that is so poignant…

      Yeah, I really liked that too.  I think he had a life-changing epiphany, mid-sentence, and walked out into the street naked only to be run over by a truck (“lorry”) full of Hot-Penguin-Wings(tm).

      Ok, people– it’s Friday night, and you’re here talking about penguins.  I want you to get out there and get a life!

      ( I’ll stick around here, just in case someone tries to steal the bold reserves. )

      Posted by zeppenwolf on 09/30 at 10:52 PM • permalink


    1. Ah, the old habitat dodge.  They’re not endangered but we want your money to build them a housing project. 

      If they were the Little Blues I’ve seen on National Geographic, I’d pay $75 for keeping them away from me during mating season. They dig burrows under houses and honk all night long calling . . . uh, what do you call mates, as in reproduction, down there? 

      Doh! According to that wikipedia link, Fairy Penguins is Australian for Little Blues.  When they start nesting in Utah, my $75 is on the way.

      Heh. I just had a mental image of Tim bringing his penguin back and the dogooders trying to convince him its not dead, just pinin’ for the fjords.

      Posted by AST on 10/01 at 01:51 AM • permalink


    1. I think that someone should have provided a decent link to penguin recipes.

      And sod the political correctness – I still call them fairy penguins. The gays don’t have a monopoly on the word, after all.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 10/01 at 01:56 AM • permalink


    1. Beware of evil penguins disguised as chickens

      Posted by rog2 on 10/01 at 02:53 AM • permalink


    1. As it’s Friday night Never Trust A Penguin

      Posted by dodgybob on 10/01 at 05:07 AM • permalink


    1. Oh wonderful.  Karl Rove has penciled in Peking Penguin on the banquet list for the next Great Neocon Retreat Advance!  Oh gee whiz.  Now I have to talk him out of it.  I have no desire, none, to fly a black helicopter to the Antartic to pick up a few hundred penguins. 

      Please, do not post any more recipes for delicious penguin entrees.  Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

      (memo to myself:  ask Karl if he’s been reading Tim Blair’s blog, if yes, block it!)

      Posted by wronwright on 10/01 at 09:43 AM • permalink


    1. O/T Three explosions in Bali tonight,one at Kuta Beach reported as breaking news ten minutes ago……

      Posted by crash on 10/01 at 10:03 AM • permalink


    1. wronwright—You can find them in Tierra del Fuego, too, but we were holding off on telling you until the storm season…

      And black helicopter?  In your dreams.  You get the Piper Cub with no doors and the duct-tape wing fabric, my boy… you have to learn whose Hummer you shouldn’t key…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 10/01 at 04:20 PM • permalink


    1. wronwright—And don’t forget you have to tow the banner for Ann Coulter’s paperback edition of How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Really Must)

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 10/01 at 05:43 PM • permalink


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