Large brain

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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:30 am

Thanks to Mark Latham, Australians now lead the world in pancreas awareness. Except for the SMH’s Tony Stephens:

He had said of John Howard at Labor’s campaign launch only 16 weeks ago: “I’m ready to lead. He’s ready to leave.” He had said that he had fire in his belly and that, at 43, he was in the prime of his life.

Now he is leaving while Howard continues to lead. The fire in his belly has been doused by his pancreas, the large organ behind his belly.

Large? A pancreas can easily fit in the palm of your hand. Kind of like the total worth of the SMH.

UPDATE. From reader BIWOZ, in comments:

I hate Mark Latham—loathe him and his politics.

BUT … I had a bout of (only) suspected pancreatitis about 13 months ago. From a comfy sleep with my beloved, I was awoken by a staggering pain. For some reason, I thought a hot shower might help (at 2.00 am?). I finished up on the floor of the shower recess, breathing through my mouth, trying to control the pain.

My wife drove me to Charlie Gairdner’s (hospital). My pulse was 126; BP was 203/108; temperature 39+ deg C. After 13 hours in Emergency, I got a bed in Coronary Care! They sent me home 4 days later with a clean bill of health. (Just as an aside, 4 weeks later I had a triple coronary bypass!!)

Now, if Latham felt even vaguely the way I felt, I am so sorry for him, and can only offer my sympathy. It is NOT fun!

Posted by Tim B. on 01/19/2005 at 04:25 PM
    1. “Pancreas the size of a planet…” The Hitchiker’s Guide to Labour…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 01/19 at 04:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Here’s the rub, surely a small fairly insignificant organ could reduce a god like Latho to resign? It must therefore be a biiiiiiig organ ( come to think of it exactly like the SMH, a big organ)

      Posted by Nic on 01/19 at 04:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Clumsy mixed metaphor. How can a pancreas douse a fire? Piss on it? We’re not talking here about Marky’s big organ below the belly.

      Posted by mr magoo on 01/19 at 05:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. Tim, thanks for the link to the extremely hippie-ish, progressive medical-library.net.  I didn’t think this sort of dietary philosophy was your cup of wheatgrass juice, but I’m enjoying it immensely.

      Posted by Joe Geoghegan on 01/19 at 05:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Heard an ex-Beazley minder on People’s Radio this morning assuring us all that Kim also has “fire in the belly”.  If symptoms persist, Kim, please see your doctor.

      Posted by cuckoo on 01/19 at 05:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe yours isn’t big, but Mark Latham’s is the size of a freaking basketball. That’s how sick he is.

      Personally I’m still a fan of the gall bladder.

      Posted by Jorge on 01/19 at 05:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. Now that his man’s back, Michael Costello’s getting excited

      Posted by Quentin George on 01/19 at 06:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Personally I’m still a fan of the gall bladder.” -Jorge

      “I’m sure you’re all aware that this is National Gall Bladder week, and so as sort of a public service I thought I would aquaint you with the work of the late Dr. Samuel Gall, inventor of the gall bladder, which certainly ranks as one of the most important technological advances since the invention of the joy buzzer and the dribble glass.  Dr. Gall’s faith in his invention was so dramatically vindicated last year, as you no doubt recall, when for the first time the gall bladder was voted among the top ten organs.  Dr. Gall’s career began, interestingly enough, in Animal Husbandry School, until they caught him at it one day…” -Tom Lehrer, “That Was The Year That Was.”

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 01/19 at 06:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. Nice one, Michael,

      But that would be “An Evening (Wasted) with Tom Lehrer”?

      Posted by Bugs on 01/19 at 07:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Michael Costello http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,11981976%255E7583,00.html repeats the old bullshit about Kim Beazley winning a majority of the vote in 1999. All Beazley did was preside over a continuing decline in Labor’s primary vote and offsetting it with preferences from the Democrats and Greens that they were always going to get anyway.

      Take away the two-party preferred and Labor was heading south big time. Their 2004 primary vote was in the low 30s – hardly a base for a comeback in 2007.

      As for Kimbo being a year younger than John Howard was when he first because PM, that’s NOW, not in 2007 (or more likely, 2010).

      Shit, by the time we get to 2010, the big story is going to be when Costello is going to make way for Abbott.

      Posted by steve68 on 01/19 at 07:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. Metaphor’s and medical conditions all revolving around guts. What is it with the Labor leaderships internal workings?

      I’m going out on a limb here and suggest that all this is a message from God to get the guts of the ALP functioning and form a reasonable fertilizer that will nourish Australia.

      NB; Stuff grows in fertilizer
      Shit stinks.

      Posted by gubbaboy on 01/19 at 09:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. You don’t got no fire in the belly until youv’e done had pancreatitis.  I don’t know about these poor bastards.  Might as well revive the “Know Nothing” Party.  Using pancreatitis to put out a fire in your belly is not a wise move.

      That’s why it’s harder to fail, compared to succeeding – therefore more noble, at least for masochists, unless there happens to be fork in the road, and you take the one less travelled, the one not involving lighting a match to see if what you smell is gas.  But then it’s too easy. And so on.

      Posted by J. Peden on 01/19 at 09:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Cheer up Mark – it could be worse – you could be havving to explain the loss of your trousers and personal effects in the U.S. like Malcolm.

      Posted by crash on 01/19 at 10:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. What about the large organ below his belly?

      Ah, thats called commitment

      Posted by rog on 01/20 at 12:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe it’s large in comparison to another one of his (Stephens’) organs?

      Posted by basil on 01/20 at 12:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. I hate Mark Latham—loathe him and his politics.

      BUT � I had a bout of (only) suspected pancreatitis about 13 months ago. From a comfy sleep with my beloved, I was awoken by a staggering pain. For some reason, I thought a hot shower might help (at 2.00 am?). I finished up on the floor of the shower recess, breathing through my mouth, trying to control the pain.

      My wife drove me to Charlie Gairdner’s (hospital). My pulse was 126; BP was 203/108; temperature 39+ deg C. After 13 hours in Emergency, I got a bed in Coronary Care! They sent me home 4 days later with a clean bill of health. (Just as an aside, 4 weeks later I had a triple coronary bypass!!)

      Now, if Latham felt even vaguely the eay I felt, I am so sorry for him, and can only offer my sympathy. It is NOT fun!

      Posted by BIWOZ on 01/20 at 12:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. eay = way!

      Posted by BIWOZ on 01/20 at 12:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. My lovely wife has suffered from congential pancreatitis (she has pancreas divisum, in which the larger pancreatic duct is unfinished, which leads to attacks) since she was a teenager.  Periodically she would be felled by *in-F-n-credible* pain and nausea.  She is hardly a wimp.  In fact, until the situation was properly diagnosed (they took out her appendix first, missed the symptoms since most pancreatitis is caused by 1) drug abuse; 2) alcohol abuse; or 3) trauma and she had none of these) she usually put off going to emergency for hours.

      I, truly, wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy (well, I don’t now Michael Moore personally, so he can hardly be an enemy, can he?).

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 01/20 at 10:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. now = know.

      And I’m not really sure I’d wish it on Moore.

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 01/20 at 10:59 AM • permalink

 

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