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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:32 am
Eat a hamburger – and destroy San Francisco!
(Via Randy V.)
- Done and done.Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 02 21 at 10:58 AM • permalink
- Would that it were so easy. As our old friend Caligula might say:
Utinam populus San Franciscus unam cervicem haberet!
Posted by mark from monroe on 2007 02 21 at 11:17 AM • permalink
- Just great! It’s Ash Wednesday here, so I’ll have to wait another 25 hours before I can get a hamburger to do my bit.Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 21 at 11:19 AM • permalink
- Well Inspector Harry Callaghan is going to have to be fitted out with one of these then.
“Do you feel lucky, plamkton?”
“Go ahead- make my decompression table.”
“Well I guess you’re just shit out of air.”
BTW, my life partner and i Had two hamburgers each last night, each of which would have choked Dagwood Bumstead- beetroot, pickles, egg, the lot and we ordered a second. SF deserves to drown.
- I’ve never much cared for hamburgers, but if it’ll get rid of San Francisco and all that goes with it (Nancy Pelosi, Gavin Newsome, the gay leather culture, Rice-A-Roni, that @#$%^&* Joe Montana throwing the go-ahead touchdown with 34 seconds left and denying my Bengals the championship) I’ll hold my nose and do my part.
- I’m having a bratwurst for lunch, which I’m sure is environmentally equal to a hamburger.
And, y’know, since Tara Brown reported all those starving polar bears, I suggest airdropping them hamburgers as an emergency relief measure.
Not only do we save the polar bears from starving, we destroy San Francisco by speeding up the doom of the polar bears. And we support the beef industry as well.
It’s a win-win scenario! Let’s go!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 21 at 01:09 PM • permalink
- I had a gyro for lunch. Which city did I destroy?Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 21 at 01:18 PM • permalink
- If I eat at Famous Dave’s BBQ do I get to destroy Seattle? Please, please, please let me do that. My property taxes will be halved, I’ll eliminate 90% of the left-wing-nut contituency in the state, and I’ll be getting rid of three shitty sports teams.Posted by David Crawford on 2007 02 21 at 02:35 PM • permalink
- Highways, houses, industrial developments and entire neighborhoods along the San Francisco Bay will be under water if global warming causes tides to rise as much as 3 feet in the coming decades . . .
Which they will not do. The sea level is currently rising at approximately one foot per century, so the oceans will not rise three feet in “the coming decades” . . . unless we’re talking about the next thirty decades.
- Remember when the ‘consensus’ was that we should all eat mostly carbs? At least here in the US, where the ‘food pyramid’ said that. Two funny things about that food pyramid.
First, the Senator who oversaw its creation, George McGovern, represented a state whose main product was… drum roll please … carbohydrates! Wheat, mainly.
Second, The increase in weight of the average American can be tracked to the introduction of the ‘food pyramid’, by the govt, based on ‘scientific consensus’ pretty much to the year.
Now this web site wants us to swear off our natural diet of animal protien. I think they must be creationists. Who else could believe that humans evolved to eat a food that would not become available to us for hundreds of thousands of years, refined carbohydrates?
Only a young Earth creationist could accept such a story with any intellectual honesty whatsoever.
- It’s Ash Wednesday here, so I’ll have to wait another 25 hours before I can get a hamburger to do my bit.
For a fellow RWDB, I’ll gladly carry that burden until you’re able to take it up.
Red Robin tonight! I hate peanut butter and Frisco, so it’s a win-win.
- Can’t eat meat today, but tomorrow, kielbasa and sauerkraut for lunch, pork chops for supper.Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 02 21 at 05:45 PM • permalink
- I think I see a potential flaw in this plan.
The Hamburger Gambit would not cause oceans to rise fast enough to actually drown anyone. It would only serve to force a migration.
Suggestion for consideration:
Instead of a simple hamburger, how about an all you can eat buffet and eat only the beef items until gorged?
- “Eat a hamburger – and destroy San Francisco!”
Pass the mustard.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 21 at 07:12 PM • permalink
- Had a burger last night. Tonight, will BBQ ribs and chicken do?Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 21 at 07:49 PM • permalink
- #41, Kaboom:
I’m going with the base assumption that you’re one of them Aussie folk type foreign devils. Hope this helps.
Jelly is the American version of Vegemite. But, instead of it being some nasty ikkiness scrapped off the side of beer vats, it’s made from boiling down the juices of yummy fruits such as grape, strawberry, peach, apricot, etc and has gelatin added to thicken it.
You have the peanut butter part all done proper in that pic. Now take a good dollop of jelly and smear it on one side of another piece of bread and gently smush them together in a sandwich.
- El Cid,
ROTFL, perhaps I should have rephrased. I didn’t name the chain, though.
In-N-Out has long sold bumper stickers that read “In-N-Out Burger” – “Burger” being located directly under “In-N-Out.” A popular pastime in S. CA is to obtain such a sticker and cut off the B and the R in “Burger” – resulting in “In-N-Out Urge.”
- Kaboom
Jello
Jam
Jelly
Noisy JellyCheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 02 21 at 10:06 PM • permalink
- “That’s gotta be jelly cuz jam don’t shake like that”.
Said as you admire a woman’s backside.
Posted by David Crawford on 2007 02 21 at 10:18 PM • permalink
- C.L.: darn, I was going to say…
This past weekend I was over at my friend’s and she told me the sad saga of attempting to find her brand of peanut butter at the local Walmart. All the shelves had been stripped bare because of the above warning, and all they could find was Smucker’s Natural Peanut Butter, which you have to stir. I came into their apartment to see my friend’s husband tilting the jar and watching the oil swirl around and shaking his head, saying “that’s just wrong.” (Explanation to foreigners: peanut butter is an American institution, with certain rules and customs incomprehensible to the outsider—kind of like cricket, only with food.)
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 21 at 10:27 PM • permalink
- Eat a PBJ, save the world… oh, and contract salmonella…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 21 at 10:33 PM • permalink
- “Yeah, but will they keep the water out?”
Sure, if you use them like sandbags. Luckily, most of them already have the correct shape.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 21 at 11:41 PM • permalink
- Only 20 some odd minutes to go, Dave S. (assuming that was an Ash Wednesday comment).Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 22 at 12:40 AM • permalink
- Finally we know why so much sausage hiding happens in Frisco. They can’t freakin’ swim!Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 22 at 01:05 AM • permalink
I’ve never understood why the global alarmists don’t think that shoreline communities can’t build dikes, like the Dutch do. Or is that too easy?
It’s too easy.
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 02 22 at 01:32 AM • permalink
- Oh, no. Dike building poses a whole nother insult to Gaia. You folks haven’t figured out yet that it is man’s nature, and what that nature requires to survive, that is the fundamental insult. To survive, man must manipulate his environment. Other animals may do this and it is hailed as that which makes Gaia possible. Man does it and it is somehow unnatural, as though man himself is unnatural.
So, I say that we forgo building a bunch of dikes and just get rid of those who see themselves as unnatural. As far as I can see, they’re the biggest problem on the face of Gaia.
- First I thought.
Holy crap, these yanks are tougher than I thought. Peanut butter and gelignite sandwiches.
Then I found out this was peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
So I will rephrase the above:
Holy crap, these yanks are far more perverted than I thought. Peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
That is just wrong on so many levels.
MarkL
CanberraMarkL
Canberra
- I had beef shish-kabobs last night with a PB&J for desert.
And what’s so perverted about a PB&J MarkL? You want to talk about perverse? I can sum that conversation up with one word: Vegemite™
grumbles…..wipes peanut butter from the corners of his mouth…
Posted by FAM Texas Bob on 2007 02 22 at 09:43 AM • permalink
- What?! You guys don’t do PB&J? Next you’ll be telling us you don’t fry your baloney (served best on white bread with mayo–a favorite of the King’s who also was partial to fried peanut butter and banana sandwichs).
Dave S–I so f***ing want a PBJ now.
Have you ever tried these? So addictive I had to stop buying ‘em.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 22 at 02:13 PM • permalink
- “Explanation to foreigners: peanut butter is an American institution, with certain rules and customs incomprehensible to the outsider—kind of like cricket, only with food.”
Indeed. Peanut butter is a Sacrament.
Actually, the rather bizarre differences in food names (it’s not just jelly/jam, but also biscuit, muffin, etc.) which is just as confusing for us has a rational explanation: European immigration. As large groups of European immigrants moved in with similar, but not identical, foodstuffs, they changed. Americans are by descent, 1. German, 2. Irish, and 3. English, in that order.
Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 02 22 at 05:32 PM • permalink
- A corned beef fan, I went looking for some good old Irish corned beef and cabbage in Ireland. Turns out they have no such dish. They do their cabbage with bacon. When Irish immigrants on NYC’s lower East side couldn’t find the kind of bacon they were used to, their Jewish neighbors introduced them to corned beef. When I was in the grocery store looking for pancake syrup, once the clerk finally figured out what I was after, she took me over by the ice cream which, apparently, is the only thing the Irish put syrup on. Our differences are what makes it all so interesting (except for that whole Vegemite thing, I mean, really, people).Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 22 at 06:11 PM • permalink
- You know what’s sooooo good and sooooooo bad for you at the same time?
Peanut Butter & Bacon Tortillas.
I mean, once you roll them up, you can take them anywhere.
And you can save a lot of time by simply inserting them right into the artery…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 22 at 10:17 PM • permalink
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