It’s just that easy

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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:32 am

Eat a hamburger – and destroy San Francisco!

(Via Randy V.)

Posted by Tim B. on 02/21/2007 at 10:53 AM
    1. Done and done.

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 02 21 at 10:58 AM • permalink


    1. Double cheeseburger. With bacon, please.
      At least all the polar bears will have a nice place to live when they drive the gays out of SF.

      Posted by Latino on 2007 02 21 at 11:06 AM • permalink


    1. Would that it were so easy. As our old friend Caligula might say:

      Utinam populus San Franciscus unam cervicem haberet!

      Posted by mark from monroe on 2007 02 21 at 11:17 AM • permalink


    1. Just great! It’s Ash Wednesday here, so I’ll have to wait another 25 hours before I can get a hamburger to do my bit.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 21 at 11:19 AM • permalink


    1. Well Inspector Harry Callaghan is going to have to be fitted out with one of these then.

      “Do you feel lucky, plamkton?”

      “Go ahead- make my decompression table.”

      “Well I guess you’re just shit out of air.”

      BTW, my life partner and i Had two hamburgers each last night, each of which would have choked Dagwood Bumstead- beetroot, pickles, egg, the lot and we ordered a second. SF deserves to drown.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 02 21 at 11:21 AM • permalink


    1. Done! Is it gone yet?

      Posted by jorgen on 2007 02 21 at 11:28 AM • permalink


    1. I feel so ashamed.  I usually eat a PB&J sandwich for lunch.  Little did I realize I was protecting San Fransisco from the ire of Mother Gaia.
      I promise to make up for it by driving around aimlessly for no good reason.

      Posted by rbj1 on 2007 02 21 at 11:34 AM • permalink


    1. Geez, I’ll have two hamburgers for lunch!

      Ideally, I’d get them from McDonald’s drive-thru.

      Posted by Retread on 2007 02 21 at 12:00 PM • permalink


    1. My lunch plans are set.

      Posted by 91B30 on 2007 02 21 at 12:02 PM • permalink


    1. Breaking:

      FDA Warns Of Salmonella-Contaminated Peanut Butter.

      Posted by C.L. on 2007 02 21 at 12:07 PM • permalink


    1. In-N-Out,here I come!

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 02 21 at 12:17 PM • permalink


    1. PB&J? They’re trying to poison us!!!

      Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 02 21 at 12:35 PM • permalink


    1. I’ve never much cared for hamburgers, but if it’ll get rid of San Francisco and all that goes with it (Nancy Pelosi, Gavin Newsome, the gay leather culture, Rice-A-Roni, that @#$%^&* Joe Montana throwing the go-ahead touchdown with 34 seconds left and denying my Bengals the championship) I’ll hold my nose and do my part.

      Posted by Baby M on 2007 02 21 at 12:54 PM • permalink


    1. better yet, it would flood the most annoying parts of the Bay Area whilst leaving the Little House in the Redwoods well above sea level in the hills above Santa Cruz.  i’ll go fire up the Suburban.

      Posted by dub kitty on 2007 02 21 at 12:56 PM • permalink


    1. But, dammit, I like pb&j!  Fine, I’ll eat it while driving.  Will that do?

      Posted by zyzzx on 2007 02 21 at 12:57 PM • permalink


    1. PB&J?  Huh!  I guess they don’t care about Diabetic-Americans for whom PB&J is nothing but a carb/sugar death bomb.

      I feel like grilling dead animal for dinner.  As a matter of fact, I think I will.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 21 at 01:05 PM • permalink


    1. I’m having a bratwurst for lunch, which I’m sure is environmentally equal to a hamburger.

      And, y’know, since Tara Brown reported all those starving polar bears, I suggest airdropping them hamburgers as an emergency relief measure.

      Not only do we save the polar bears from starving, we destroy San Francisco by speeding up the doom of the polar bears.  And we support the beef industry as well.

      It’s a win-win scenario!  Let’s go!!!!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 21 at 01:09 PM • permalink


    1. or better yet, cut out the middleman and just drop polar bears in San Francisco.  it’s for the environment!

      Posted by dub kitty on 2007 02 21 at 01:12 PM • permalink


    1. I had a gyro for lunch. Which city did I destroy?

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 21 at 01:18 PM • permalink


    1. First I read thru that whole dumb PB&J website to see if it was satire…..

      But ,alas, no….we are being hectored into returning to the lunch of our elementary school years….now if I can only find my Partridge Family lunchbox!

      Posted by debi L. on 2007 02 21 at 01:43 PM • permalink


    1. I had a gyro for lunch. Which city did I destroy?

      Funniest f***ing comment of the year! Tried to repeat it for my wife, and couldn’t choke it out through the laughter.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 21 at 02:12 PM • permalink


    1. Yay!

      I’m in San Francisco at the moment, and it’s almost time for lunch – I’ll take photographs of the apocalyptic deluge as it happens!

      Posted by TimT on 2007 02 21 at 02:30 PM • permalink


    1. If I eat at Famous Dave’s BBQ do I get to destroy Seattle?  Please, please, please let me do that.  My property taxes will be halved, I’ll eliminate 90% of the left-wing-nut contituency in the state, and I’ll be getting rid of three shitty sports teams.

      Posted by David Crawford on 2007 02 21 at 02:35 PM • permalink


    1. Man, the Crawford Twins are on a city-killing rampage.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 21 at 02:49 PM • permalink


    1. I had a gyro for lunch. Which city did I destroy?

      Athens, I think.

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 02 21 at 03:27 PM • permalink


    1. #25, Dr Alice,

      I had a gyro for lunch.  which city did I destroy?

      Athens, I think.

      No, Athens is too far from the coast, even in the worst model.  It will probably be Istanbul.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 21 at 03:56 PM • permalink


    1. Highways, houses, industrial developments and entire neighborhoods along the San Francisco Bay will be under water if global warming causes tides to rise as much as 3 feet in the coming decades . . .

      Which they will not do. The sea level is currently rising at approximately one foot per century, so the oceans will not rise three feet in “the coming decades” . . . unless we’re talking about the next thirty decades.

      Posted by sundog on 2007 02 21 at 04:14 PM • permalink


    1. Remember when the ‘consensus’ was that we should all eat mostly carbs? At least here in the US, where the ‘food pyramid’ said that. Two funny things about that food pyramid.

      First, the Senator who oversaw its creation, George McGovern, represented a state whose main product was… drum roll please … carbohydrates! Wheat, mainly.

      Second, The increase in weight of the average American can be tracked to the introduction of the ‘food pyramid’, by the govt, based on ‘scientific consensus’ pretty much to the year.

      Now this web site wants us to swear off our natural diet of animal protien. I think they must be creationists. Who else could believe that humans evolved to eat a food that would not become available to us for hundreds of thousands of years, refined carbohydrates?

      Only a young Earth creationist could accept such a story with any intellectual honesty whatsoever.

      Posted by moptop on 2007 02 21 at 04:43 PM • permalink


    1. Eat a hamburger and be Godzilla. I like it.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 02 21 at 04:47 PM • permalink


    1. It’s Ash Wednesday here, so I’ll have to wait another 25 hours before I can get a hamburger to do my bit.

      For a fellow RWDB, I’ll gladly carry that burden until you’re able to take it up.

      Red Robin tonight!  I hate peanut butter and Frisco, so it’s a win-win.

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 02 21 at 05:01 PM • permalink


    1. Can’t eat meat today, but tomorrow, kielbasa and sauerkraut for lunch, pork chops for supper.

      Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 02 21 at 05:45 PM • permalink


    1. I think I see a potential flaw in this plan.

      The Hamburger Gambit would not cause oceans to rise fast enough to actually drown anyone. It would only serve to force a migration.

      Suggestion for consideration:

      Instead of a simple hamburger, how about an all you can eat buffet and eat only the beef items until gorged?

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 02 21 at 05:52 PM • permalink


    1. At least eating hamburgers doesn’t result in the depopulation of Hamburg.

      Posted by PW on 2007 02 21 at 06:09 PM • permalink


    1. I always wondered why In-n-Out didn’t sell a Furburger, y’know?…

      Posted by mojo on 2007 02 21 at 06:09 PM • permalink


    1. “Eat a hamburger – and destroy San Francisco!”

      Pass the mustard.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 21 at 07:12 PM • permalink


    1. Had a burger last night.  Tonight, will BBQ ribs and chicken do?

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 21 at 07:49 PM • permalink


    1. Stop it, all of you! Can’t you see how selfish you’re being?

      All you can think of is your stomachs while you wantonly and recklessly endanger my seven-garage beachfront Malibu mansion!

      [/wholemeal Hollywood hunk]
      Posted by splice on 2007 02 21 at 07:58 PM • permalink


    1. Large pizza, extra cheese, and sausages. Bye bye Nancy Pelosi

      Posted by David A on 2007 02 21 at 08:20 PM • permalink


    1. I’ve never understood why the global alarmists don’t think that shoreline communities can’t build dikes, like the Dutch do.  Or is that too easy?

      Posted by rabidfox on 2007 02 21 at 08:22 PM • permalink


    1. 11 Dr Alice

      In-N-Out,here I come!

      Ummmm, well, ahhhh, you see, that has, well, it’s sensuous.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 02 21 at 08:29 PM • permalink


    1. What exactly is “peanut butter and jelly“?

      Can anyone elucidate me?

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 02 21 at 08:34 PM • permalink


    1. That’s nothing compared to the carbon saved by not eating at all. Just be careful not to save too much, the tipping point’s a bitch.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 02 21 at 08:51 PM • permalink


    1. #41, Kaboom:

      I’m going with the base assumption that you’re one of them Aussie folk type foreign devils. Hope this helps.

      Jelly is the American version of Vegemite. But, instead of it being some nasty ikkiness scrapped off the side of beer vats, it’s made from boiling down the juices of yummy fruits such as grape, strawberry, peach, apricot, etc and has gelatin added to thicken it.

      You have the peanut butter part all done proper in that pic. Now take a good dollop of jelly and smear it on one side of another piece of bread and gently smush them together in a sandwich.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 02 21 at 08:52 PM • permalink


    1. El Cid,

      ROTFL, perhaps I should have rephrased. I didn’t name the chain, though.

      In-N-Out has long sold bumper stickers that read “In-N-Out Burger” – “Burger” being located directly under “In-N-Out.” A popular pastime in S. CA is to obtain such a sticker and cut off the B and the R in “Burger” – resulting in “In-N-Out Urge.”

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 02 21 at 09:13 PM • permalink


    1. #43 Grimmy:

      Ahhhh!  You mean JAM!

      You Yankees are funny.

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 02 21 at 09:19 PM • permalink


    1. #45, Kaboom:

      Not exactly. Jam and Jelly are different. Jelly is made from just juice, Jam has some pulp in it. Not quite as much as preserves though but still it’s not quite the same thing…unless I’m completely wrong, which is very possible lol.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 02 21 at 09:23 PM • permalink


    1. #46 Grimmy. Now you’ve got me really confused.

      In the interests of ongoing Western international relations, I need to clear this up as soon as possible.

      So….. what the bloody hell do you call this substance then?

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 02 21 at 09:36 PM • permalink


    1. #47, Kaboom:

      Jello if it’s brand name, gelatine if it’s generic.

      Jelly has less gelatin and more flavor, it’s not a solid like jello, it’s glopy and easily spreadable… and has more flavor … and goes much better with peanut butter.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 02 21 at 09:55 PM • permalink


    1. Kaboom
      Noisy Jelly


      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 02 21 at 10:06 PM • permalink


    1. “That’s gotta be jelly cuz jam don’t shake like that”.

      Said as you admire a woman’s backside.

      Posted by David Crawford on 2007 02 21 at 10:18 PM • permalink


    1. C.L.: darn, I was going to say

      This past weekend I was over at my friend’s and she told me the sad saga of attempting to find her brand of peanut butter at the local Walmart. All the shelves had been stripped bare because of the above warning, and all they could find was Smucker’s Natural Peanut Butter, which you have to stir. I came into their apartment to see my friend’s husband tilting the jar and watching the oil swirl around and shaking his head, saying “that’s just wrong.” (Explanation to foreigners: peanut butter is an American institution, with certain rules and customs incomprehensible to the outsider—kind of like cricket, only with food.)

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 21 at 10:27 PM • permalink


    1. Eat a PBJ, save the world… oh, and contract salmonella…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 21 at 10:33 PM • permalink


    1. trust me, they don’t need to build dykes in the Bay Area…there’s more dykes in Santa Cruz alone than in all of the Low Countries.

      Posted by dub kitty on 2007 02 21 at 10:51 PM • permalink


    1. there’s more dykes in Santa Cruz alone than in all of the Low Countries

      Yeah, but will they keep the water out?

      Posted by kae on 2007 02 21 at 11:25 PM • permalink


    1. “Yeah, but will they keep the water out?”

      Sure, if you use them like sandbags.  Luckily, most of them already have the correct shape.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 21 at 11:41 PM • permalink


    1. I so f***ing want a PBJ now.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 21 at 11:46 PM • permalink


    1. Only 20 some odd minutes to go, Dave S. (assuming that was an Ash Wednesday comment).

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 22 at 12:40 AM • permalink


    1. Finally we know why so much sausage hiding happens in Frisco. They can’t freakin’ swim!

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 22 at 01:05 AM • permalink


    1. I’ve never understood why the global alarmists don’t think that shoreline communities can’t build dikes, like the Dutch do.  Or is that too easy?

      It’s too easy.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 02 22 at 01:32 AM • permalink


    1. Oh, no.  Dike building poses a whole nother insult to Gaia.  You folks haven’t figured out yet that it is man’s nature, and what that nature requires to survive, that is the fundamental insult.  To survive, man must manipulate his environment.  Other animals may do this and it is hailed as that which makes Gaia possible.  Man does it and it is somehow unnatural, as though man himself is unnatural.

      So, I say that we forgo building a bunch of dikes and just get rid of those who see themselves as unnatural.  As far as I can see, they’re the biggest problem on the face of Gaia.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 22 at 02:46 AM • permalink


    1. First I thought.

      Holy crap, these yanks are tougher than I thought. Peanut butter and gelignite sandwiches.

      Then I found out this was peanut butter and jam sandwiches.

      So I will rephrase the above:

      Holy crap, these yanks are far more perverted than I thought. Peanut butter and jam sandwiches.

      That is just wrong on so many levels.



      Posted by MarkL on 2007 02 22 at 05:06 AM • permalink


    1. I had beef shish-kabobs last night with a PB&J for desert.

      And what’s so perverted about a PB&J MarkL? You want to talk about perverse? I can sum that conversation up with one word: Vegemite™

      grumbles…..wipes peanut butter from the corners of his mouth…

      Posted by FAM Texas Bob on 2007 02 22 at 09:43 AM • permalink


    1. Perverse is putting beetroot on a hamburger.

      Posted by moptop on 2007 02 22 at 10:16 AM • permalink


    1. What?! You guys don’t do PB&J? Next you’ll be telling us you don’t fry your baloney (served best on white bread with mayo–a favorite of the King’s who also was partial to fried peanut butter and banana sandwichs).

      Dave S–I so f***ing want a PBJ now.

      Have you ever tried these? So addictive I had to stop buying ‘em.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 22 at 02:13 PM • permalink


    1. “Explanation to foreigners: peanut butter is an American institution, with certain rules and customs incomprehensible to the outsider—kind of like cricket, only with food.”

      Indeed. Peanut butter is a Sacrament.

      Actually, the rather bizarre differences in food names (it’s not just jelly/jam, but also biscuit, muffin, etc.) which is just as confusing for us has a rational explanation: European immigration. As large groups of European immigrants moved in with similar, but not identical, foodstuffs, they changed. Americans are by descent, 1. German, 2. Irish, and 3. English, in that order.

      Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 02 22 at 05:32 PM • permalink


    1. A corned beef fan, I went looking for some good old Irish corned beef and cabbage in Ireland. Turns out they have no such dish. They do their cabbage with bacon. When Irish immigrants on NYC’s lower East side couldn’t find the kind of bacon they were used to, their Jewish neighbors introduced them to corned beef. When I was in the grocery store looking for pancake syrup, once the clerk finally figured out what I was after, she took me over by the ice cream which, apparently, is the only thing the Irish put syrup on. Our differences are what makes it all so interesting (except for that whole Vegemite thing, I mean, really, people).

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 22 at 06:11 PM • permalink


    1. If I eat a couple of burgers, a kebab and half a corned beef on rye, can we destroy Oakland too?

      C’mon!  You never let us do nothing.

      Posted by Carl H on 2007 02 22 at 10:00 PM • permalink


    1. You know what’s sooooo good and sooooooo bad for you at the same time?

      Peanut Butter & Bacon Tortillas.

      I mean, once you roll them up, you can take them anywhere.

      And you can save a lot of time by simply inserting them right into the artery…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 22 at 10:17 PM • permalink


    1. #68

      Mainlining peanut butter and bacon tortillas can’t be good for you.

      Posted by kae on 2007 02 22 at 10:19 PM • permalink


    1. I made me some crapes grimmy last night. PB&J on flour tortillas (top and bottom tucked in and rolled to seal) egg wash and deep fry.

      Served on a plate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and rasberry syrup.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 02 23 at 12:10 AM • permalink


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