It’s all global

Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 03:02 pm

Al Gore’s Center for the Doing of Science warns of the approaching global wettening crisis.

(Via the Mudville Gazette  and reader Bruce H.)

1. So: warming + wettening=humiditying?

   Save us Al!!!

   Posted by 68W40 on 2006 07 01 at 02:25 PM • permalink

1. “Its all global” = the soccer World Cup.

   So therefore on-topic…  Poms out of World Cup (defeated by Portugal in shoot-out).  The BBC reports:

   Eriksson had promised a big performance from his side but until Rooney’s early exit it was not forthcoming.

   The young striker endured a frustrating game and his patience finally snapped as he got tangled up with Carvalho and Armando Petit and appeared to aim a stomp at the other player’s groin

   Pic included.  Nice one!

   Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 01 at 02:39 PM • permalink

1. Actually, now that he’s mentioned it, I do see a common thread to all these eco-doomsayings.

   Al Gore.

   If it’s a eco-doomsaying there’s an Al Gore near it.

   Posted by Grimmy on 2006 07 01 at 02:44 PM • permalink

1. “We didn’t really this coming”, said Gore.

   Well of course not Al, with your head up your ass, all you can see is…well never mind.

   Somehow, I get other images when “global wettening”, is said.

   Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 01 at 03:23 PM • permalink

1. I think the “talking points” have been sent out to the Gaia-cult footsoldiers: on at least 5 separate occasions in the past week, I have heard callers to conservative radio talk shows use this exact phrase to refute critics of the “eminent global warmening catastrophy” fear-mongering:

   “I am reminded of the tobacco industry executives denial of the harmful effects of smoking.”

   Coincidence? I report, you decide…

   Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 07 01 at 03:45 PM • permalink

1. Man, we are drying out from the wettening of our area.  But people are already talking excitedly about the effects of the rain on next year’s Cherry Blossoms.  That’s what’s really important.  Around here.

   Posted by ushie on 2006 07 01 at 04:02 PM • permalink

1. Okay, everyone knows this is satire, right?

   Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 01 at 04:07 PM • permalink

1. Algore is the Paul Erlich of the 21st century! With the stress on Err.

   Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2006 07 01 at 04:29 PM • permalink

1. Okay, everyone knows this is satire, right?

   Yep, but mark my words, Kyda, Algore will be saying something like this very soon.

   Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 01 at 04:46 PM • permalink

1. I hope the wettening holds off long enough for the fireworks this Fourth of July weekend.

   Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 01 at 05:53 PM • permalink

1. Look, all you sceptics of global warming, it is a proven fact that summer never starts in Seattle until July 7th, and it is ALREADY in the high 70’s up here.  We actually saw 84 degrees (F) a day or so ago.  I have been forced to “wettening” my yard already.  Global warming is definitely here.  Thank God.  And not a moment too soon. Fire works on the 4th and no parkas required .  Whoopee!!

   Posted by Cliff on 2006 07 01 at 06:04 PM • permalink

1. I googled “Al Gore and floods”, and came across this Reuters news summary (two truncated – and very different – news items, but amusingly conjoined):

   “a movie by former US Vice President Al Gore and … … Flash floods from heavy rains killed 18 people in the central Chinese province of Hunan over the . . .”

   What happened, see, is that people were so appalled by the movie, they ran out in a storm and got washed away. Al Gore has blood on his hands

   Posted by paco on 2006 07 01 at 06:08 PM • permalink

1. BTW, does this incovenient goof have any more movies in the works? How many more people in Hunan province must die before Gore is stopped?

   Posted by paco on 2006 07 01 at 06:12 PM • permalink

1. Okay, everyone knows this is satire, right

   Yes but, Al, is the gold standard, representing a grotesque misrepresentation of a human, anyway.

   Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 01 at 06:28 PM • permalink

1. Sports News
   “Moral high ground
   England may have lost the match, but they can claim the moral high ground with the Portuguese players diving time and time again.”

   Good grief.  Major national contest being decided by goal shoot-outs, needed to give players *a chance to score at all*

   Add the referee schemozzle and the superb ham acting, and they should be talking about a crisis in this sport.
   Under these ridiculous conditions, it’s more important to lose morally, it seems.

   Posted by Barrie on 2006 07 01 at 06:37 PM • permalink

1. Sports News, continued…

   France Upsets Brazil, Advances With Portugal to World Cup Semifinals.

   Brazil seeks a review, the French were using tongues.

   Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 01 at 06:46 PM • permalink

1. I’m still freaked out by the ever growing hole in the ozone layer. You people should stock up on sunblock!

   Posted by Islam/cancer-Chuck Norris/answer on 2006 07 01 at 07:00 PM • permalink

1. “Global Wetting” reminds Gore of what he was punished for by his parents.

   Posted by stats on 2006 07 01 at 08:39 PM • permalink

1. El Cid… exactly where were the French using their tongues?

   yeeeech!

   Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 01 at 08:57 PM • permalink

1. #3, Grimmy:  If it’s a eco-doomsaying there’s an Al Gore near it.

   Much like race riots and Jesse Jackson.

   Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2006 07 01 at 09:34 PM • permalink

1. HOW HARD IS THIS PEOPLE?  OK, one more time, say it with me:

   Eco-doomsaying + (lefties in power x massive redistribution schemes) = salvation!

   Sheesh, talk about a lack of nuance.

   Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 07 01 at 09:54 PM • permalink

1. Well here in non-conformist Victoria, The Age tells me we’ve just had the driest June in 148 years and the coldest since 1972. Where’s my bloody global warming and wettening?

   Posted by slatts on 2006 07 01 at 10:16 PM • permalink

1. Can the spectre of Global Bedwetting be far behind?

   Posted by Mystery Meat on 2006 07 01 at 10:49 PM • permalink

1. This whole global wettening thing is overblown. Sure, Gaia has some perspiration stains under her armpits, and she’s very annoyed about it, but only enough to murder a few Chinese in Hunan.

   Posted by Merlin on 2006 07 01 at 11:17 PM • permalink

1. There’s some poor drought stricken farmers in WA who could do with some of that thar wettening, would someone please put a postage stamp on Mr gore and send him here pronto.

   Posted by waussie on 2006 07 02 at 12:35 AM • permalink

1. #25 waussie:

   I think you might have a real good idea there. If we separated the Algore into easily airmailed pieces and sent those pieces to where the wettinging was most needed, could we control the process more efficiently?

   Posted by Grimmy on 2006 07 02 at 07:00 AM • permalink

1. I think Merlin nailed it. That whore Gaia, standing on a sweltering street corner, starts sweating buckets. And where do whores (and others) sweat? The armpit, aka New Jersey.

   Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 07 02 at 11:55 AM • permalink

1. Some0Seppo, I thought Cinncinatti was the armpit of the USA.  Or is New Jersey the other armpit?

   Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 03 at 02:07 AM • permalink

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