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Last updated on June 15th, 2017 at 01:34 pm
IT’S WAAAAAARRRRRR!!!! After one week of combat between newbieweight contenders Antony “No H” Loewenstein and Shelly “The Hitwoman” Horton, front row patrons are sprayed with blood, bone fragments, URLs, and jpegs. Yet still they scream for more!
Loewenstein entered this bout as the clear favourite; trained at Margo Kingston’s prestigious inner-city gym, the Jewbie newbie had an early points lead (157 average daily visitors to Horton’s 132; 271 page views to Horton’s 258) and connections all over the blogosphere that should have delivered substantial body-blows (plus he’s a he, which usually helps, blog-wise; and he’s trading in international politics, where the big hits lurk). Loewenstein’s ambition was Ali-like: “I want this blog to be, soon enough, an essential stop for news and views you won’t find anywhere else.”
Yet Loewenstein is currently bruised and hurting due to Horton gathering a load of hits from Spin Starts Here and a Lucy Lawless fan site. Loewenstein cornermen A Media Dragon, Gorilla in the Room (“Shattering the Taboo on Discussion of Israel’s ‘Agents of Influence’”), and the sadly-named Counterpunch could do little to stop Horton’s furious, er, fistings. Current standings:
Shelly: Average daily visitors, 499; average daily page views, 882
Antony: Average daily visitors, 209; average daily page views, 335
So, is the $250 first prize and championship title already owned by the Telly girl? No way, fight fans! Loewenstein isn’t giving up! “It’s already getting hot in the kitchen,” he told a supporter between rounds, “but hey, a man like me simply has to grin, bear and enjoy it.” And Antony has a secret weapon: a book championing the Palestinian cause due out later this year. That should attract a megaload of leftoid links, possibly overwhelming any early Hortonish lead. “My book,” says Loewenstein, “will be unlike what has come before in Australia.”
Match that, Queensland woman! It ain’t over ‘til it’s over!
UNDERWEAR UPDATE:
Loewenstein: “I’m off to Melbourne for a couple of days … Bars, brassieres and booze will be consumed and visited.”
Horton: “I’m going to the Logies. Suffer in ya jocks.”
- What … only 6 comments and 2 of them are mine! There must me less people reading this thread than there are SBS viewers … oops, I mean vistors to Antony or Shelly’s cyberspace homes. tim, you need to spice up your ramblings with some sex, preferably with photos. If the Yobbo can have a weekly Girl Friday (even though it is Tuesday today), so can you.
I love the Internet.