Insurmountable barrier surmounted

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Last updated on July 16th, 2017 at 09:55 am

Australia’s new citizenship test – an “an insurmountable barrier to citizenship” according to Democrat Lyn Allison – proves surprisingly easy.

Posted by Tim B. on 10/01/2007 at 10:19 AM
    1. Just because it’s easy for you and me doesn’t mean it will be easy for Lyn Allison. She is a Democrat, after all.

      Posted by Scott W on 2007 10 01 at 10:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. I passed the Canadian test, without studying.  I would imagine that most commenters here can pass it without doing any swotting up on Canada.

      http://www.yourlibrary.ca/citizenship/

      Posted by Steve at the pub on 2007 10 01 at 10:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. #2 Steve, I see your challenge!

      (Oh, now, you’re gonna see me fail!)

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 11:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. #2

      I only got 60%.  Who is the Queen of Canada anyway??

      I did know that most bilingual Canadians lived in Quebec though…..all those Frenchy names that play for the Habs!!!!!

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 11:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. #2 Steve!!! I thought you were serious until I got to:

      29. List three ways in which you can protect the environment.
      a. Work near where you live, drive to work, take a taxi.
      b. Use unleaded gas, drive a small car, travel by yourself.
      c. Compost and recycle, conserve energy and water, walk or join a car pool.
      d. Pour solvents down storm drains, leave taps running, leave lights on.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 11:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. #2 Steve, I’m close to calling SHENANIGANS!!!

      Some of these questions are just too damn funny to answer! Such as:

      Give an example of how you can show responsibility by participating in your community.
      a. Mind your own business.
      b. Have a party.
      c. Keep your property tidy.
      d. Join a community group.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 11:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. We have a friend who was born Armenian, and is a happy Australian citizen. He is one of the finest weather forecasting technologists in the country, always does our weather stuff when we go to sea. He didn’t have to pass a test back when, but he would’ve. Lovely bloke.

      The Vietnamese couple on the trawler in the pen near where our boat is tied up probably wouldn’t have passed the knowledge test when they arrived, but they’re nice too, and are proud Aussies, hard workers. Have been here since 1984.

      I won’t go into all the others, the Italians, Greeks, Maltese, French, Czech, Yugo, Poles Lithuanians, Estonians, Germans, Chinese, Spanish, Portugese, Malaysian, more….very polyglot, this place for a very compact town. We have a very small islamic presence.

      I’m certain all would have passed the citizenship test with flying colours. They’re mostly all citizens now. But the Sudanese do seeme to be struggling.

      I do believe integration is the secret of a happy country.

      Posted by mareeS on 2007 10 01 at 11:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ha, just got a perfect score and heard the national anthem.  Of course I got the perfect score because I actually KNEW the national anthem…..see, being a hockey fan is good for something after all!!!

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 11:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ash_

      I’m waiting to be asked what a toonie, a loonie or a tooque(sp) is!!

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 11:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tooque = Tuque

      I just found the correct spelling!!

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 11:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. #2 – I got 80% on the Canuck test. Do I get a Molson or something?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 11:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. #8 80%

      Surprising, considering I lived in Italy for 11 years, Canada for 6 months, then Australia for the rest.

      I thought I knew more about Canada though.

      (Please, excuse my earlier smugness. Put it down to tiredness or some other excuse. Email me cheque details, they’ll be in the mail in the morning.)

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 11:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Here’s an American Civic Literacy Test. I scored 93%. My wife, who has little interest in politics, political philosophy, et al, scored 85%.

      That beats the top students at Yale (65%) and Harvard (69%). College students in general scored a little over 50%. That’s shameful.

      How can academics be so anti-American when they’re so pig ignorant of their own country? Oh, wait…

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 11:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. #13 I suspect you’re setting me up for failure… again… Dave!

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 11:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. I thought the capitol of British Columbia was Hollywood.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 11:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. #14 – Ash, I can’t see a furriner, even a really smart one, doing well on this. There’s some pretty esoteric seppo stuff on it.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 11:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #16 It’s worse than that Dave!!! I was born just outsida Vancouver!!!

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 12:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. Money quote from Lynn Allison:

      “The expectation to defend one’s nation, in a militaristic or any other sense, seems outdated and jingoistic. “

      And thousands of proud diggers roll in their graves.

      Posted by ErnieG on 2007 10 01 at 12:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Citizenship tests are too easy, as everybody knows. We’ll catch ‘em out with football questions.

      The answer, quite obviously is Werribee! Ouch!

      Don’t tase me… Geelong… Melbourne!

      Ouch! Melbourne, that’s it! Just outsida Vancouver… anywhere Goddammit!

      Posted by splice on 2007 10 01 at 12:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. LOL. Splice, have I ever mentioned… we’re not friends anymore?!!!?

      Oh, Ok, Good, because I didn’t mean it!

      But… Man, seriously, even I know about Australian (read: AFL) religious beliefs.

      Taking Collingwood or Port Adelaide apart is fine though…

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 12:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. I got a perfect score.  Does this mean I’m a citizen of Canada now?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 01 at 12:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. #20 The infidel, Ash_ you do not understand. It is you, with your dream of personal freedom, who has failed the citizenship test.

      Prepare, dhimmi, for your inclusion, god willing, into the New Caliphate of Austrabia.

      Posted by splice on 2007 10 01 at 12:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ash? Is it something I said?

      Posted by splice on 2007 10 01 at 12:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. #23 Nah, #22, I was just checking the “Infidel Playbook”. Did you know I’m supposed to surrender now?!

      (That and it’s 3am here)…

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 01 at 01:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Question 1.

      A. Donald Bradman.

      Question 2.

      A. Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

      Question 3.

      A. Bondi Beach

      Question 4.

      A. All your Skippies are belong to us.

      Posted by splice on 2007 10 01 at 01:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. I took the on-line 5-question sample Australian Citizenship Exam, and got 5 out of 5 right. Not bad for a Florida cracker. I give this site credit for my getting the question about the Wattle right, because of a poem that was quoted on a recent thread:

      This is the Wattle
      the emblem of our land
      you can stick it in a bottle
      or hold it in your hand

      Posted by ErnieG on 2007 10 01 at 02:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dave S….88% for me. Not good, but not too bad for a carpenter.

      Posted by greene on 2007 10 01 at 02:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. 71% on the Canadian test. Hell, I’m from S. Carolina. What can you expect ? If I was trying to become a citizen of Canada I’d do better.

      Posted by greene on 2007 10 01 at 03:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Our new naturalization test is embarrassingly easy. Here it is, with answers (warning: PDF file).

      Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 10 01 at 04:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dave S….88% for me. Not good, but not too bad for a carpenter.

      Hell, 88% rocks. There were some brutal questions on economics and philosophy.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 05:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. The Canadian citizenship test as seen by me…

      Who are the Habs?

      Who is Rocket Richard? (one bonus point if you know who he played for)

      How do you pronounce Patrick Roy?

      Who is Lord Stanley?

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 05:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. Loon Allison says the test is an “assault on democracy”.  Where is the “democratic right” to become a citizen of the country of your choice?  And coming to you live, direct from padded cell #37:
      The un-Australian koala

      Posted by cuckoo on 2007 10 01 at 06:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. SBS ran a surprisingly positive report on the test, complete with plenty of happy applicants voicing opinions about the need to fit in to one’s new country.  Ouch.  ABC news, on the other hand, ran a purely editorial piece: unable to find any actual immigrants to bag the test, they had to fall back on the usual salaried whingers.  The contrast between between the immigrants and the people who supposedly represent them was stark and instructive.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2007 10 01 at 06:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Loony Lyn Allison says the test shouldn’t ask if, in an emergency, the citizen should fight for Australia.
      Lyn thinks in the modern world pacifism is a great national trait and military spending is evil.
      Lyn has one thing in common with Howard –optimism – she rejects the polls saying her candidates are all doomed – in her case because of thinking like hers..

      Posted by Barrie on 2007 10 01 at 07:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #31 – Bonus question:

      There is a Canadian donut chain called Tim Horton’s. They call their donut-hole treats “Timbits.” Why is this morbidly funny?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 07:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. DaveS

      We’re getting our first Tim Horton’s here. (I live in Michigan, about an hour and a half from the border) Very much like our Dunkin’ Donuts, they used to call them “munchkins” (try not to go to far with the imagination) and correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Tim Horton also an NHL hockey player??

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 07:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #13.  I scored 66%.  I would hope to do a lot better if I actually studied American Civics.

      Posted by Steve at the pub on 2007 10 01 at 08:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. I scored 66%.

      Pah! You’re only as good as the best students in our most elite universities.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 08:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Tim Horton also an NHL hockey player??

      Yep. And he died in a car crash. Hence the morbid hilarity of “Timbits.”

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 08:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, and Timbits were invented a couple years after his death.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 01 at 08:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. yikes, didn’t know he was dead…….that makes timbits, well…you nailed it…..morbid.

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 09:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. 93% – and I’m not even American.

      Posted by EdwardM on 2007 10 01 at 09:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. Edward

      Welcome aboard…..although these days you’d better know who Cesar Chavez is too….

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 01 at 10:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. 19 out of 20 on the Canada Test – got the population wrong. Is there really that many of the bastards?
      Even if this does make me eligible to be a canuck I’m not moving. The sunny NSW north coast is where I belong.
      And Lyn Allison? Among the last of her kind, extinction should be complete by Christmas.

      Posted by Harold on 2007 10 02 at 12:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. 42. What does the Canadian flag look like?
      b. Red and white with a beaver.

      Hmmmm. That’s certainly ambiguous, isn’t it.

      Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 10 02 at 06:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. Okay, I did 80 questions on the Canada test and only got 58.4%, but so many of the questions looked more like multiple choice ones.

      As for Lynn Allison. Apparently our history (according to John HoWARd) consists of explorers, diggers and something else, and it masculine and conservative.

      Hmmmm. Let’s see.

      Hume, Hovell, Major Mitchell, Burke and Wills, Flinders off the top of my head.

      I don’t recall them taking any women along on their journeys.

      Also, if the explorers didn’t, you know, explore we’d no doubt be hugging the coastline after having wiped out the aboriginals who lived nearby.

      We wouldn’t have Crocodile Dundee, nor Kakadu and we’d not know about Ayers Rock. (Yeah, I know, I should call it Uluru. Care factor: GAF)

      I’m surprised she didn’t point out the remarkable contributions of the criminal underclass of bushrangers like Ben Hall, for example (sick of Ned Kelly and allegedly related to some relative of Hall’s).

      The input of indigenous australians and women has been shamefully omitted, and we need to get some balance back in politics.

      Lynn, Lynn, Lynn. The only reason you feel balanced is because you’ve got a chip on each shoulder.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 10 02 at 06:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. Allison – one of the Democrats who made them what they are today – an endangered species. What a Goose!

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 10 02 at 08:05 AM • permalink

 

  1. #45 Especially since the flag is shown on the title bar of the website, Prof.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 03 at 12:07 AM • permalink