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Last updated on July 2nd, 2017 at 07:42 am

Actress Cate Blanchett is among Kevin Rudd’s heroic summiteers:

The 38-year-old will chair a discussion group on the theme “Towards a Creative Australia” at the 2020 summit planned by prime minister Kevin Rudd in April …

Mr Rudd said she was one of many “creative individuals in their own right, with ideas to contribute”.

Blanchett shouldn’t be too generous; she needs some ideas herself. For one, how to reverse a ten per cent decline in subscriptions at the debt-wracked theatre company she bought. Be creative, Cate! Maybe you could sign up the nation’s summit-fevered children to present Summit on Ice!, Summit: The Musical, or Summitdance:

In an effort to spread the pre-summit fever, the Minister for Education, Julia Gillard, said on Sunday that all primary and secondary schools would be invited to host their own summits before the Canberra event.

Hey, kids! Here’s an idea that might win Prime Ministerial approval: instead of driving cars, how about we all live in them?

(Via Eliot R.)

UPDATE. Reader Steve submits a Grease-inspired summit tune:

Kevin: Summit lovin’, had me a blast

Cate: Summit lovin’, happened so fast

Kevin: I met a girl crazy for me

Cate: Met a boy cute as can be

Both: Summit days driftin’ away, to, oh, those summit nights …

Posted by Tim B. on 02/26/2008 at 12:57 PM
    1. CATE BLANCHETT will join the former deputy prime minister Tim Fischer and the vice-chancellor of the University of Melbourne, Glyn Davis, on the steering committee of the Federal Government’s Australia 2020 Summit.

      Steering committee, eh? Wonder how that’s going to work out?

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 26 at 01:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. I presume the summit is the collection of 1,000 geniuses who are supposed to tell Mr. Rudd how to lead the nation.  With an actress as chair, how can it fail?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 02 26 at 01:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe she just wants to reprise her role as Galadriel the Elf Queen in Lord of the Rings. Let’s see, that would make Garrett an Ork and Kevin the Ear of Sauron.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 26 at 01:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ork, orc, dork…whatever.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 26 at 01:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. It is good to see Julia is combining two of her portfolios and socially including school children in the Wankfest.

      Unfortunately, Miss 8 is going to a school in her electorate. They will be asked not to taint her.

      Posted by Pa Feral on 2008 02 26 at 01:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Garrett would make a reasonable Gollum if he was a few feet shorter.

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2008 02 26 at 01:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. The EAR of Sauron? Would that be the grotty little wild-child from “Road Warrior”?

      You’ve been into the cooking sherry again, haven’t you paco?

      Posted by mojo on 2008 02 26 at 02:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. “The 38-year-old will chair a discussion group on the theme “Towards a Creative Australia” “

      I like how the left wing idea for fostering creativity is to form a committee. When Cate Blanchett was playing Queen Elizabeth the first were there any scenes where she was sitting in a discussion group discussing how her government could empower creative artists like, if not how does she think the likes of William Shakespeare thrived in that era?

      Posted by Ross on 2008 02 26 at 02:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. #7 Mojo: Consider who we’re talking about. The alteration was quite intentional.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 26 at 02:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, I noticed in another thread that our old friend PW is back! Did Wronwright strand him in ancient Assyria or something?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2008 02 26 at 02:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. Saturday Summit Fever?

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 02 26 at 02:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. or maybe

      “Deep Summit”

      would attract more interest.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 02 26 at 02:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Although “The Man From Summit Fever” would add some local tie-ins.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 02 26 at 02:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Citizen Kevni
      The Three Summiteers
      The Seven Summitai
      South Pacific Summit (featuring those classic hits “Summit enchanting evening, you and I will conference” and “I’m gonna wash Garrett, though he has no hair, and send him on his way”)
      Kevni (the rock opera by Who?)
      1000 the story of the epic stand against Emperor Jerkses

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 02 26 at 02:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. A Pack Of Shit Now the story of all summit-related press releases

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 02 26 at 03:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. how does she think the likes of William Shakespeare thrived in that era?

      By staying off Walsingham’s radar, belike.

      Posted by Achillea on 2008 02 26 at 03:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Toothless Tim Fischer and Cate Blanchett on the same platform? What a hoot that’ll be – the blond and the bland.

      Between the pair of them they might possibly muster up a few grams of credibility – on a good day that is – but I won’t be holding my breath.

      An awful lot of country folk will forever remember Turncoat Tim as the Deputy Prime Minister & National Party Leader who sold a few million gun owners down the river when he cravenly caved in to Howard during the infamous Uniform Fiream Laws debacle. And, incidentaly, became the darling of the ABC for years thereafter.

      Posted by Boss Hog on 2008 02 26 at 03:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. From a recent neologism contest:

      Bozone (n):  The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.  Shows no sign of breaking down in the near future.

      Expected to be in unprecedented supply at Oz 2020.

      Posted by SSG Pooh on 2008 02 26 at 03:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Here is my very own bozone moment:summitcapita.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2008 02 26 at 04:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Cate chairing a discussion group to help lead Australia forward?  Not a problem!  As paco noted, she played the role of an Elvish monarch.  Surely that qualifies her, in the same sense that Martin Sheen is seen as having the experience to criticize President Bush after portraying the President in “The West Wing”.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 26 at 04:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Darn tootin’ TRJ

      Martin Sheen can also talk about war and peace thingies because of Apocalypse Now.

      If Congress can get Meryl Streep to give “expert testimony” why not bring on Cate.  The time is right!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2008 02 26 at 04:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Herr Rudd – made me smile.

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2008 02 26 at 05:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. #14

      One Thousand Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

      Posted by Dminor on 2008 02 26 at 05:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, I know this guy’s not Australian, but how about letting him into the Krud Think-A-Rama on a waiver; you know, sort of seeding that big cloud of left-wing Aussie “genius” with some right-wing street smarts.

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 26 at 05:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. Surely the longstanding Australian household name around the world, Eva Orner is now a strong contender although they may be struggling to work out if she would be better suited to providing advice on

      a) “Towards a creative Australia: the future of the arts, film and design “
      or
      b) “Australia’s future security and prosperity in a rapidly changing region and world “*
      * (possibly to provide high quality analysis on the USA’s military strategies ?)

      Posted by Wacko on 2008 02 26 at 05:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, I noticed in another thread that our old friend PW is back! Did Wronwright strand him in ancient Assyria or something?

      I understand (unofficially, of course) that PW was on a secret mission for Lord Karl involving green Orion women, a Klingon Bird of Prey, and an huge amount of Sumerian mead that mysteriously disappeared from His storerooms.

      Lord Karl was most displeased when He discovered the loss, and dispatched PW with orders to “terminate with extreme prejudice” anyone involved.

      I’m not sure how the green Orion women fit in.  I’m still waiting for the afteraction.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 26 at 05:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. The rest of the committee will be praying Chairman Cate doesn’t organise the customary jug of water that accompanies talkfests.

      The appointment of Blanchett does show that if this conference were a flooded causeway, you could safely let your toddler across it on a tricycle. Actors, by and large, are as dim as supermodels. Their skill is their ability to follow instructions from the director, who is the real brains on the set. There are notable exceptions but the story Steyn referred to showed that Blanchett is at the dumb end of Hollywood Boulevard.  She boasted about recycling urine as a water-saving measure at the same time as workers were installing a very large swimming pool in the grounds of the mansion.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 02 26 at 05:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. #10 Dave S. –

      Hey, I noticed in another thread that our old friend PW is back! Did Wronwright strand him in ancient Assyria or something?

      Oh, oh, that’s so so unfair.  I hardly ever make a mistake on a time travel mission.

      (~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ wronwright flashes back ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

      Scene:  2550 BC, City of Urak

      Ww:  Okay, great.  Team Alpha has done well, very well.  As I count it, we’ve filched 123 kegs of golden mead from the royal storeroom of that Sumerian king.

      (paco walks out of the bathroom holding a copy of Robber Baron Quarterly)

      ww:  Now, I realize all of you are a bit tired and sore from moving those kegs.

      Michael Lonie:  We could have used some help wronwright.

      Ww:  And help you shall get.  MarkL, help Lonie move those kegs.  As I was saying, it’s for a good cause.  Let’s suck it up and move them off the wagon into the Tardis.  Quickly.  Those guards could be looking for us.

      (paco reaches for the cord, suddenly the Tardis activates)

      ww:  What?  No.  Noooooooooooooooooooo.  We didn’t move the mead yet!

      ____________________________________________________

      Scene:  North Atlantic, April 14, 1912.

      Ww:  Okay, gentleman, here’s the deal.  The Titanic has struck the iceberg.  It’s sinking.  So we’re going to open the main safe and filch all the stock certificates, bonds, cash, and jewelry.  We’ll zip back to 2007 and cash in the investments.  Due to appreciation, they’ll be worth billions.  Any questions?

      Michael Lonie:  Well, I like making a profit same as the next man.  But don’t you think –

      Ww:  You won’t be making a profit Lonie.  This booty will be going into the VRWC operating funds.  I fully expect a promotion to full member from Karl as a result.

      Michael Lonie:  Well, okay, sure. But what I was trying to say is, shouldn’t we try rescuing some of the passengers?

      Ww:  HELL NO.

      Ww:  Um, what I meant to say is, we can’t.  It would affect the time line.  We can’t chance doing that.  Otherwise, there is nothing I would rather do than forgo stealing a fantastic fortune in order to save a few people I don’t know and would probably be dead anyway by the time we get back to 2005.

      (wronwright gives a sympathetic tilt of the head.  Just then paco walks out of the bathroom)

      ww:  About time.

      Paco:  Sorry.  It was the burritos.  You know I usually like Chipotles but …

      Ww:  Fine, fine.  We’re short of time here paco.  The water is one floor down.  Let’s move out of the Tardis and start opening those safe deposit boxes.  Oh, this is so easy.

      (wronwright rubs his hands together, licking his lips at the same time.  paco reaches for the cord.  Suddenly the Tardis activates)

      ww:  What?  No.  Noooooooooooooooooooo.  We didn’t get the stock certificates yet!

      Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 26 at 05:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. Scene:  1323 BC, Egypt, Valley of the Kings.

      Ww:  Okay, gentleman, this time I have a full proof plan.  King Tutankhamen has recently passed away and we’ve piloted the Tardis into his tomb.  We just need to go out and move all the gold and jewels into the Tardis.  Karl will be pleased.

      Michael Lonie:  But can we do that?

      Ww:  Uh, yes we can.

      Michael Lonie:  No, I mean should we?

      Ww:  Yes, we should Lonie.

      Michael Lonie:  I mean, really, should we?  Wouldn’t that affect the time line?

      Ww:  The what?

      Michael Lonie:  The time line.  You remember in the Titanic you said –

      Ww:  Don’t.  Bring up.  The Titanic.

      Michael Lonie:  Well, you know, the big plan to steal billions of dollars –

      Ww:  Yes, yes.

      Michael Lonie:  And Karl would promote you to —

      Ww:  I know what the plan was.

      Michael Lonie:  Well, I’m just saying, won’t it affect the time line?

      Ww:  No.

      Michael Lonie:  Yeah, it would, because —

      Ww:  He’s dead.  He’ll still be dead.  The only difference is I’ll—I mean, our organization will be rich.

      Michael Lonie:  Yeah, but how about Howard Carter and –

      Ww:  Okay, now that that’s settled.  We just need to go out and start moving stuff into the Tardis.

      (wronwright rubs his hands together, satisfied.  Just then paco steps out of the bathroom)

      ww:  paco, where have you been?  You’ve missed my discussion of our Action Plan.

      Paco:  Oh, so sorry about that.  I went home this weekend.  Mom made my favorite, soup beans and cornbread.  You know, normally I like her soup beans.  But I really wish I didn’t eat that whole onion cause –

      Ww:  Okay, fine.  Let’s move gentlemen.  The oxygen won’t lost forever.

      (paco reaches for the cord.  Wronwright catches it before he pulls it).

      Ww:  What.  Are.  You.  Doing?

      Paco:  What?  Me?

      Ww:  Yes.  You.

      Paco:  Flushing the toilet.  Believe me, I need to pull that cord.

      Ww:  paco.

      Ww:

      Ww:  This cord.

      Ww:  Is not the cord to the toilet.

      Paco:  No?

      Ww:  No.  It’s the chronometer activator.  It activates the Tardis.

      Paco:  Really?

      Ww:  Yes.

      Paco:

      Paco:  Really?

      Ww:  Yes.  Really.

      Paco:  Huh.  Whaddaknow.

      (Stoop Davy Dave walks out of the bathroom)

      SDD:  Whoa.  As bad as yours was paco, I think I beat you.

      (wronwright is abhorred at the direction his task has taken)

      ww:  Yes, great.  But the gold awaits us.

      Paco:  Did you flush?

      SDD:  Uh, no.  I usually let the next person do it.

      Paco:  You really should flush.

      SDD:  You think so?

      Paco:  Yeah.  It’s common courtesy.  Especially on a Task Force assignment.

      SDD:  Well, it’s against everything I believe in.  But okay.

      ww:  What?  No.  Noooooooooooooooooooo.  The gold!

      Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 26 at 05:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. I guess Chairman Rudd will want Blanchett to proposes new operas and theatre like ol’ Mao thought would be inspiring, about 1970:
      Say
      “The Glorious Workers’ anti-Work Choice Agitation”.
      “The People’s Heroic Action for World Global Cooling”

      With a cast of 1000s of newly unemployed…

      Posted by Barrie on 2008 02 26 at 05:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Kevni and his penchant for blands blonds, Tess?

      Let’s hope there’s not a water-Cate scandal …

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 26 at 06:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Princess Cate is heading up the wrong committee in the Krud Think-A-Rama (love that term!).  With her environmental skills, she should be upstaging the baldy one.  Single handedly, she brought in a domestic greenification project at her new domicile for around 1.5 megabucks.  Now that’s expertise to die for!  Let her use her rhetorical skills to the full in lecturing us Gaia destroyers on just how to do it.

      Posted by AisA on 2008 02 26 at 06:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. brilliant! mr. ww

      Posted by missred on 2008 02 26 at 06:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. Summit on Ice!, Summit: The Musical, or Summitdance

      Or she could star in a movie remake of, There’s Summit About Mary.

      Posted by anthony_r on 2008 02 26 at 06:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Now we see the hidden agenda of Rudd and it is far worse than even we could have expected.

      KRudd and his devil dodging, Jesus pleasing Bappo (don’t believe in sex cause it leads to dancing) mate Tim Costello are fed up with working families being too crook in the guts after a big Saturday night on the piss to front up for Church on Sunday, (or worse, turning up at church and dropping onion and VB bombs that tend to clear the pews before the plate goes around), so they reckon they’re gunna get us orf the piss

      Good luck wowsers !

      Ideas summit ? More like giving us more reasons to want to feed them to the crocs.

      First they took our guns, then they shut the pubs…

      Rum rebellion anyone ?

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 26 at 06:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. A business idea. Ms Blanchett’s debt-wracked theatre company could produce a play titled ‘Kevni from Kyoto to Sorry’.

      The final scene featuring Ms Blanchett’s appointment to her new role as creative director of the gabfest. Where she enters stage left to rapturous applause.

      Tickets would be sold in books through public schools, unions, Aboriginal reserves, ALP branches, the many left wing blogs and institutions of higher learning. Thereby guaranteeing packed houses.

      A lucky ticket seller could be rewarded with free entry to the play’s sequel titled ‘from sorry to really sorry – the sad demise of the Rudd Government’

      Surely the left would support such a play of historic significance. Cate could bask in the reflected glory, and help keep the company beak above water. All at no expense to the tax payer.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 26 at 06:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Towards a Creative Australia”?? No problem! Expect that particular discussion group to be extraordinarily “creative” when it comes to finding new ways to tap the taxpayer for funding to feed the voracious appetites that Artistes and their Arts have for public funds.And courtesy of Cate,the Sydney Theatre Company will be on pole position when the cash starts to flow into their begging bowls.

      Posted by Lew on 2008 02 26 at 06:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m back – in case anyone gives a shit.

      I will be taking my rainforest flooding roadshow back to Central Qld in the next few weeks.

      I don’t understand how I, as the supreme RFF in Australian history (and with criminal antecedents going back to 1797) how I have been left off the list.

      Posted by jlc on 2008 02 26 at 06:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. A bloke at work, who is smitten by Blanchett reckons he “would dig up 40 miles of sewer pipe just to see one of her turds float past” but “I wouldn’t drink her wee”

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 26 at 06:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #29: Sorry, Wron. Next time I’ll just hang out the window (loved your skit, buddy!).

      Posted by paco on 2008 02 26 at 06:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. She’s an actress.

      Which means, as Jerry Seinfeld explained about actors and actresses, someone gives her a script she didn’t write, tells her how to read it, tells her where to stand and what to do. And suddenly she’s a genius.

      Of course, you can be an actor/actress and still be clever. But the precedents are few and far between.

      Posted by BB77 on 2008 02 26 at 06:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. #39 Pickles.

      Long line of unbroken characters that was breaking the page layout and making the site impossible to read removed. Don’t do it again. The Management.

      gag vomit.

      Indeed. T/ Mgmt.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 26 at 07:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. whoops did I do that?

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 26 at 07:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. #41
      Maybe Blandchik can decorate the summit with enviro-friendly tinsel?

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 26 at 07:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. I reckon that chick from the Wollongong council Beth Morgon should get a place at this 2020 summit.  She doesn’t have to sit at the table….she can sit under it.

      Posted by damo on 2008 02 26 at 07:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wo..Wen…To a plasma siz. I lik it T (cant see the rest)..lo

      Posted by El Cid on 2008 02 26 at 07:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. #45 God bless portnoy; between you and #39 this blog is giving me the shits.

      Posted by cohenite on 2008 02 26 at 07:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Getting Cate Blanchett to be one of the ‘chosen’ reminds me of the time that Channel 9 got Kate Fitzpatrick to be a cricket commentator. Lasted about oh, 5 minutes.

      Posted by Nic on 2008 02 26 at 07:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. Fair suck of the celebrity. You gotta feel for the guy who’ll be cleaning up the soiled tissues after this wankfest.

      How long until Kim il Rudd is filling the MCG with dancing school children to celebrate his inauguration and shooting 23 at golf?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 26 at 07:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. We don’t need a crystal ball to see the outcome(s) of Ruddapolooza 08, something perhaps involving more cash for:

      The Yartz
      Aborigines, especially Aboriginal Arts
      Assorted energy saving schemes
      oh yeah, something promoting our multi-cultural identity

      Posted by Nic on 2008 02 26 at 07:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. New decree from K

      Posted by watty on 2008 02 26 at 07:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. New decree from Kev’s office that evicted kids can now only live in hybrid cars in order to save the planet.

      To be ratified by Cate at earliest date.

      Posted by watty on 2008 02 26 at 07:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. #49
      It’s so ronery at the top …[Intro language NSFW]
      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 26 at 07:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. This 2020 summit is beginning to sound like the wankathon they’re trying to organise in Denmark.  Maybe they could combine the 2 of them.

      Posted by damo on 2008 02 26 at 07:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. Who broke the page?

      *slow measured footsteps approach. . . . . . . . *

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2008 02 26 at 08:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. The Summit of All Fears.

      I got a fevah and the only cure is…

      Posted by fidens on 2008 02 26 at 09:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dancing With The Summiteers

      Posted by Bonmot on 2008 02 26 at 09:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. So You Think You Can Think

      Posted by dipole on 2008 02 26 at 09:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. How do you think the teachers union would have gone if it had been Howard calling for schools to be swept up in an “ideas summit”?
      Emus would have flown out their arses and their heads would have combusted at the mere thought of it.
      Yet Krudd says bend over and its chocolate starfish at the staff canteen all around.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 26 at 09:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. #20 Cate chairing a discussion group to help lead Australia forward?

      An excellent choice by Prime Minister Car but htf do we move the entire country to the US in search of work?

      Posted by rob w on 2008 02 26 at 10:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. Broken page fixed. People, don’t insert long lines of unbroken (by spaces) characters like that.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2008 02 26 at 11:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’d like to see John Howard at this summit.  Hope he gets a gurnsey.

      Posted by damo on 2008 02 26 at 11:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. A bloke at work, who is smitten by Blanchett reckons he “would dig up 40 miles of sewer pipe just to see one of her turds float past”

      That’s kind of how I feel about Kate Beckinsale. Except I’d crawl naked over twenty miles of broken glass to sniff the tire tracks of the laundry truck that took away her soiled undies.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2008 02 26 at 11:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. Blanchett shouldn’t be too generous; she needs some ideas herself. For one, how to reverse a ten per cent decline in subscriptions at the debt-wracked theatre company she bought.

      And she apparently promised to make the theatre green. That can’t be helping the bottom line.

      Although it’s a nice metaphor for what she and Rudd plan to do to the country.

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2008 02 26 at 11:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. Julia is combining two of her portfolios and socially including school children in the Wankfest

      great, we’re going back to that 70’s yoof culture fetish again, listening to teenagers spout cliches and smile and clap like they’re fucking oracles.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2008 02 26 at 11:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. #36
      No, no, no.
      It’ll be done with a government grant, no need to advertise or have anyone turn up for the performance. It won’t even need to be popular, it’ll all be funded.By us.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 26 at 11:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. #58

      So. You think?

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 26 at 11:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. The worst thing about the appointment of Blanchett is that it confirms many long held stereotypes of Australian women: Urine drinking, jet-setters who play make believe for foreigners money.

      I would like to remind the foreign readers of Timblair.net, that not all Aussie sheilas are jet-setters.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 26 at 11:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, I for one resent the population as a whole being represented by only one woman. And an actress at that.

      If it’s good enough for Chairman Rudd to use his Deputy, Julia Gillard, as the official flak catcher – Gillard defends – and to sic her on to his critics,** then it’s good enough to have more than one female non-politician chairing a discussion group.

      The summit will in any case come to naught, particularly with not many women involved, and will simply issue a declaration of what they think that they thought that they ought to report.
      __________

      ** BTW, does anyone else have the impression that Kev perhaps makes a habit of hiding behind a woman’s skirts (or pants, perhaps, in Julia’s case?

      Posted by ann j on 2008 02 26 at 11:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. To think that the Australian federal cabinet I consumed with a pantomime. I’ve always thought Aussies made of sterner stuff.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 02 27 at 12:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. #68 Infidel, indeed. I rather admire the stoic wirey toughness I associate with Australian women … or maybe they just don’t like me 🙂

      I believe it comes from the first fleet and necessity of survival.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 02 27 at 12:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. #25

      A think-a-thon
      A nice-tits-a-thon
      A coke-a-thon
      A what-a-thon
      A thong-along
      A long thong-along
      ..with a song

      I could go on’n’ong

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 02 27 at 12:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. Summit lovin’ had me a blast
      Summit lovin’, happened so fast
      I met a girl unshaved for me
      I met a boy, left as can beSummit days driftin’ away,
      To uh-oh all those summit nights

      Well uh well uh well uh hnnghh

      Tell me more, tell me more,
      Did you get very far?
      Tell me more, tell me more,
      Like, did you ban the car?

      Uh huh… Uh huh…. Uh huh…

      It turned colder, that’s where it ends – so I told Gore we’d still be friends…
      Then we made our carbon voooooow – wonder what he’s burning now
      Summit dreams ripped at the seams, but oh, those summit nights……

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2008 02 27 at 12:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. #73 – It turned colder, that’s where it ends – so I told Gore we’d still be friends…

      Shit on a stick, that’s funny! Can’t wait for the Summit Megamix!

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 27 at 12:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. #61 Andrea. Sorry.

      There just like my PM, but unlike him it won’t happen again.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 27 at 12:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. I love how the ABC et alia are reporting that the involvement of Tim Fischer, Warwick Smith and Tim Costello demonstrates the “bipartisan” nature of WombleFest 2020.

      Fischer was long ago lulled into believing the legend of his own niceness. There followed numerous instances of an increasingly common phenomenon: the conservative who backs the left-liberal cause for the adulation this brings from the Latte Set. Besides Malcolm Fraser, see also Joe Hockey, who reminds me of what Kurt Russell’s Wyatt Earp tells Ed Masterton in Tombstone:

      This is a harsh land, Ed.

      It doesn’t suffer fools.

      I’m not a fool, Wyatt.

      No, you’re not.

      But you’re not a deliberate man, Ed.

      I don’t sense that about you.

      You’re too affable.

      In other words, stay out of the fight, Mr Sunrise Rolly Polly.

      Tim Costello’s only meaningful association with any non-Labor cause is his fraternal relationship to the former Treasurer. Smith was a favourite of the old Hawke-Keating frontbench. I can still remember Keating telling him in Question Time, “now we like you Warwick.” If you think part of the reason why was that Smith never landed a glove on one of them and rarely -aggressively – tried, you’d be right.

      The whole thing is a ridiculous farce.

      Posted by C.L. on 2008 02 27 at 12:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. In a few short weeks, Mr Rudd’s 2020 Summit will answer the age old question: Does wanking lead to blindness?

      In my experience, yes. But conversely it does seem to improve the hearing.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 27 at 12:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Another DOCUMENTED effect of Global Warming….

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 27 at 01:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Speaking of the movie business, Paco Enterprises latest offering seems to have had a somewhat inauspicious debut:

      Subtitling fiasco turns film into a comedy of errors

      It was promoted as a chance for the deaf and hard of hearing to enjoy a free film under the stars, but a captioning debacle turned it into an embarrassment for Ryde Council in Australia.

      Saturday night’s screening of The Queen at North Ryde Oval became a comedy of errors thanks to subtitles either written by somebody with no comprehension of English or affected by an out-of-control spellcheck.

      (…)

      When a character spoke about Mr Blair being “educated at Fettes”, it appeared on screen as “educated the fattest”. “Did you vote?” flashed up as “Dead in a boat?”. The observation that “every newspaper proprietor has blood on his hands today” became “every newspaper proprietor has blown in his hands today”.

      When Prince Philip spoke of how “people removed their hats” as he drove past, it became “people removed their heads”. “Buckingham Palace” appeared several times as “Burking in Paris”.

      (…)

      It is unclear where the offending DVD came from. Outdoor Movies Australia, which staged the screening, said it was responsible only for the screen, projection and sound and directed inquiries to Ryde Council.

      Oh, I think think we know…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 02 27 at 01:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. think

      NO! I was NOT assigned captioning duties!

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 02 27 at 01:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. # 63
      That’s kind of how I feel about Kate Beckinsale. Except I’d crawl naked over twenty miles of broken glass to sniff the tire tracks of the laundry truck that took away her soiled undies.That’s kind of the way I feel about Claire Forlani.  Except I’d swim 20 miles through a river of faecal matter in Pakistan just to suck the cock of a man who once had sex with her….and I’m a straight man.

      Posted by damo on 2008 02 27 at 01:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. #39- Reminds me of an occasion when I was lollygagging around the arrival hall at Brisbane Airport with a minion. looking for some shifty tinted types we could pick on because of their ethnicity when some entertainerette du’ jour whose name escapes me came sauntering past, which caused said underling to mutter to me “fuck me, i’d use her shit for toothpaste”– an amusing if most unsanitary method of maintaining oral hygiene.

      Has it occurred to any of the complainers that Kevni is applying personal experience to the selection process? Seeing as he’s never gotten a word in edgeways at home with one overweight Code Pink cutie, he figures any more than one sheila on the slection panel would cause the yabber to go for a month rather than a weekend, and that’d just be to sort out who’s sitting where- Kev’s got a few junkets vital overseas trips to bugger off on after all.

      I for one would pay my own way to attend if Professor Piehole of Perth was to be a guest spruiker- after his performance last night on Insight he’s the greatest comedy genius since Lenny Bruce; his ranting about “….secure green enclaves for millionaires surrounded by Mad Max suburbs…” had me nearly doing a Cate Blanchett in my trousers- the bastard’s funnier than watching Ren and Stimpy on nitrous.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 02 27 at 01:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. In an effort to spread the pre-summit fever, the Minister for Education, Julia Gillard, said on Sunday that all primary and secondary schools would be invited to host their own summits before the Canberra event.

      Invited? It won’t be an invitation but a compulsion, just as it was for Rudd’s apology speech. Expect schools to be ordered to broadcast Rudd’s 2020 speech too.

      Not even Whitlam’s crazy crowd tried this stunt. They believed they could install a socialist system by fair and democratic means. Gillard and 21st century Labor prefers the methods of Mao – indocrination, propaganda and control of the media.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 02 27 at 01:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ladies do visit these pages.

      Just sayin’.

      Posted by C.L. on 2008 02 27 at 01:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. #83 And where are all the journalists and “artists” on the advent of the Rudd Youth and these other disturbing fascist tendencies? I seem to recall they were simply appalled by life in Howard’s junta.

      Posted by C.L. on 2008 02 27 at 01:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. #82 and others, I believe the PC expression is ‘i’d crawl a mile over broken glass just to hear her piss into a jam tin’

      Posted by Nic on 2008 02 27 at 01:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #82 Habib are you referring to

      “Peter Newman is an Australian academic and planner who invented the term ‘automobile dependence’ to describe how we have created cities where we have to drive everywhere.”?

      If his claim to fame is the produsage of the “term ‘automobile dependence” htf could they possibly call that program Insight?

      Posted by rob w on 2008 02 27 at 01:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. ‘automobile dependence”

      His initial choice “car crazy” was considered too uncouth.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 27 at 02:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. #85, C.L., was wondering the same thing myself.  If it had been John Howard, there would have been media outrage by now, with screeds of print and hours of ABC programming devoted to “Fascist John”.

      And thank you for reminding posters that this is a public forum.  It may not only be ladies who are offended by some of the comments and words occasionally used here.

      Posted by ann j on 2008 02 27 at 02:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Howard not going? That’s not very inclusive at all is it?

      Posted by Nic on 2008 02 27 at 02:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. #87- That’s him, crazier than a bedbug, and totally ignorant of the irony of hectoring others about their choice to live in outer suburbs and consume gobs of fossil fuel getting to and from work/shop/play while broadcasting by sattelite link from N’Yorleans- a bit of a hike from his tenure at Perth U. No doubt he’s giving Mayor Ray some handy hints on urban renewal- the Big Easy should be a hoot when they’ve finished rebuilding- I’m thinking Warsaw circa ‘62 with humidity and black people. Also mirth-inducing was a bit where some idiot fro mPlanning and Development in Melbourne was getting urban renewal and infrastructure advice from the mayor of Bogota. I could’ve saved them the airfare and consultancy- give all the peons cocaleaf to chomp on, and make sure your government is even more corrupt and kleptcratic than it is currently, so no-one cna afford a car, airconditioner or abode more extensive than three sheets of corrugated iron.

      Three more years of this.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 02 27 at 02:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. #82 Love it, never heard that toothpaste expression before.  I’d pass on a few more funnies we use, but I reckon it’d start to go down hill fast.

      Posted by damo on 2008 02 27 at 02:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. damo, I think that qualifies as TMI Of The Year.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2008 02 27 at 02:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. That would be the comment I linked to—but having read comment #82, I’d say we have a runner up. Guys, give yourselves a hand.

      I meant applause, not that kind of—oh never mind.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2008 02 27 at 02:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. Why is there now a need for the Krudd lovefest?
      The above seems to have answered all the questions.
      Just cancel the Krudd lovefest, and use the above suggestions.
      Problems solved, money saved.
      I am sure the above will now seek to solve any future problems Krudd & Co. create.
      Labor are great ones at creating problems.

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 27 at 02:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. #93 Andrea

      I’ve heard both of his “TMIs” (and similar) in referrence to Michelle Pfeiffer.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 02 27 at 02:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. I also seem to recall hearing those on a Richard Pryor record.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 02 27 at 03:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. Another charmer Ive heard is “Id crawl on my belly over a mile of broken glass just to stick matches in her shit”.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 27 at 03:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. OT, but tooo funny.

      WA premier, Alan Carpenter, was physically “attacked” as he walked away from the taxi drivers’ protest rally at parliament house this morning. But as it turns out, the attacker wasn’t a taxi driver. He was an anti-whaling protestor who’d turned up at the wrong rally. Duh!

      Posted by SandiM on 2008 02 27 at 03:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. #99 HAHAHAHAHA!

      #98 I’m guessing the blokes who use these phrases resemble Doughnut Boy.

      Posted by C.L. on 2008 02 27 at 03:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. OT?

      The Gong looks bang-on for builders It’s like bees to a honey pot, says one industry participant of property developers’ attraction to Wollongong.

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 27 at 03:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’d sit outside her dunny for three days to to hear her fart. These things always seem to involve poo..

      damo, I think we’re at the bottom of the hill about now, or at the top, depending on perspective..

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 27 at 03:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m not sure how the green Orion women fit in.  I’m still waiting for the afteraction.

      Afteraction? Hey, there wasn’t even any action involving green Orion women! Are you meaning to tell me there was supposed to be? That wasn’t part of the assignment as I received it…surely nobody would be degenerate enough to mess with a fellow VRWCer’s job instructions? *stares at nobody in particular*

      Posted by PW on 2008 02 27 at 03:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’d drag my dick over a razor-wire fence to masturbate in her shadow.

      Have we hit bottom yet?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2008 02 27 at 03:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’d give up beer for her. Too far?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 27 at 04:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. geez louise! thanks infidel tiger, that is the best one yet.

      Posted by missred on 2008 02 27 at 04:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. #102 Pickles. Most of these involve being on the bottom looking up. Ahem.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 27 at 04:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. #99- Just saw footage on ABC news- I note his protection detail from WA plod didn’t leap to his defence, in fact seemed to make well sure the looney wasn’t tooled up until putting the bag on him.

      Looks like bent/inept/cop-bashing Labor leaders don’t exactly attract fanatical devotion and selfless defence from Old Bill.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 02 27 at 05:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. #108: Yes. I wondered where the uniforms where – not in the footage I saw until he was sitting in the back of a police car claiming not to know who the “old bloke with white hair” was.

      Posted by SandiM on 2008 02 27 at 05:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. Billy Hughes received similar assistance.

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 27 at 06:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Also I believe Artie Caldwell; somehow I doubt too many Federal coppers would’ve stopped one for Hawkie or Keating, likewise for lu Kewen- maybe he’d better enlist a detail from this loyal source.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 02 27 at 06:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. In an effort to spread the pre-summit fever, the Minister for Education, Julia Gillard, said on Sunday that all primary and secondary schools would be invited to host their own summits before the Canberra event.
      So now you have to encourage kids to have a summit in order to get them to think up bright ideas for our future …
      like stupid summits?
      It’s all getting to be a bit circular.
      So far it’s back to the seventies and “let’s hear it from the women?”
      They could save a fortune by getting any ideas emailed in from the 1000; cancel the summit now, before it’s too late!

      Posted by blogstrop on 2008 02 27 at 07:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hasn’t taken long the distant gaze of the summiteers to turn to more immediate pet issues – binge drinking.

      Could be a long two days for K Rudd

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 02 27 at 07:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. #113- I reckon if I was trapped with Tim Costello and 997 assorted other ratbags, dingbats, fruitcups, gladhanders, timeservers, self promoters, rent seekers, yahoos and Cate “One Girl One Cup” Blanchett I’d be on the gas big time, and if rev Tim tried to shut the bar he’d have my size 9 cherry red in his bollocks quicker than you could say “travel allowance”.

      Bingeing on the piss would be the least harmful outcome of this blatherfest.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 02 27 at 07:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. #113 all the leftards I know (and that’s way too many)seem to think the Ruddenburg rally is about whatever their particular hobbyhorse is.

      It’ll be tears before bedtime is all I’m saying…

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2008 02 27 at 08:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. #112

      They could save a fortune by getting any ideas emailed in from the 1000; cancel the summit now, before it’s too late!

      Hmm. Aren’t the illustrious Joe Ordinarys paying their own freight? You’re still right. Gabfest.

      #115

      It’ll be tears before bedtime is all I’m saying…

      eeniemeenie, it’ll serve them right.

      O/T
      I got my new car today.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 27 at 08:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. #116 mmmmmmmmm… new car smell /drool]

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2008 02 27 at 08:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. Here’s an idea for the summit. Let the tossers present their “grand plans”, then fence off Canberra and see if they can make it work.
      After all they are the best and brightest aren’t they?

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 27 at 08:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. #116 Kae. Great news. I’ve been waiting for that. Vroom vroom mt isa saturday, Derby on Monday, Perth Wednesday….you’ll be home by Friday (going 24/7)

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 27 at 09:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. #115- Well it sure won’t be beers before bedtime (or an eye-opener in the morning either) now Fearless Leader lu Kewen has gotten on board with Reverend Tim, despite the fact that liquor licensing is a state metter, with some local government controls- the only thing the Feds have to do with booze is labelling requirments and ripping great chunks of cash out of the trade through excise, a racket that makes the likes of Al Capone and Charlie Luciano seem like schoolyard lunchmoney stanover artists in comparison.

      I wonder what the Howard Battlers who swung behind the Great Wowser now think of their choice, with Kommisar Kev wanting them off the piss and home in bed before Lateline‘s closing credits start to roll? What did they expect? The smary little waxgobbler would say anything to slither into the hot seat, but once there was never going to let the chance to inflict some good old fashioned Christian Socialist reform on the heathen electorate.

      WTF did they expect, with his pious posturing and obvious lack of fun in his own life- “Kegs” Ruddster to try to out-do Hawkie as the biggest piss artist and pants man ever to lead the ALP?

      Wait ‘til he and his mate Rev Tim (helped by the new dingbat in the senate from SA, and the Family First peanut) get to work on all your other dirty little pleasures- it’ll be no more plonk, porn, pokies, puff, punting, pervie publications, PBS provided priaprism pills or producing plumes of particularised petrol for pleasure for that matter, get ready for the No Fun Time, just like the old Soviet Union but without Stolichnaya.

      Whoopie- the next person I meet who admits to electing these fuckwads will be set on fire (while I can still get fuel with an octane rating higher than Wayne Swam’s IQ).

      Posted by Habib on 2008 02 27 at 09:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. Seriously impressed with the way the WA wallopers stood back and allowed the ratbag enough time to do some serious damage to Our Revered Premier. All in vain, alas.

      Damn shame the attacker was a whale loving wanker and not some enraged cab driving jihadi demanding a 20% tip, a prayer room at the local caff and wielding a scimitar.

      Well done, lads. Standing back will ensure you never get your pic in the papers and is a sure track to your retirement pension.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2008 02 27 at 09:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. Outstanding rant, Habib. *standing applause*

      Top credits for “smarmy little waxgobbler” and kudos for the serial alliteration.

      No wonder I love this blog.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2008 02 27 at 09:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. #115: the real tears will start flowing about 12 months out from the Ruddenburg Rally when it dawns on our comrades from the other side that Kaiser Kevin has no intention of taking them seriously.

      Posted by Hanyu on 2008 02 27 at 10:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. That wasn’t part of the assignment as I received it…surely nobody would be degenerate enough to mess with a fellow VRWCer’s job instructions?

      You’ll have to ask wronwright, PW; he’s in charge of operations.  I’m just a Loyal Henchman, 3rd Class.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 27 at 10:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. #120
      Wait ‘til he and his mate Rev Tim … get to work on all your other dirty little pleasuresZurely, ze stealthy Herr Flick vill haff ze unterground zupply of ’Frau’s mit big sticks‘ & all, unbeknownst to Tea-Tippler-Tim, non?

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 27 at 11:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #114

      Here’s an idea for the summit. Let the tossers present their “grand plans”, then fence off Canberra and see if they can make it work.
      After all they are the best and brightest aren’t they?

      Lions. You forgot the lions.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 27 at 02:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. #118 I meant. arrgh. still asleep.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 27 at 02:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yes, the Proles should never be allowed to binge drink.

      You might end up going to a strip club.

      And making a bloody fool of yourself and being thrown out.

      And worst of all, remembering none of it.

      That’s if you define “binge drinking” as having two pots.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2008 02 27 at 02:58 PM • permalink

 

  1. I hoping others start to push their pet issues. It will be chaotic. The whole point of grand plans for the next 12 years is that you don’t have do anything about them. But when they start talking about issues such as binge drinking, the conference is taking over the role of government. One of these groups will propose something that is both short term in its execution and against Labor’s wishes. What then? What if it’s Cate?

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 02 27 at 08:50 PM • permalink