“human inside an injured-chicken costume”

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 04:07 pm

Grand Junction, Colorado, has witnessed the least-successful animal rights demonstration since a group of Brisbane beef liberationists begged police to rescue them:

A human inside an injured-chicken costume, hobbling in protest on the sidewalk Wednesday in front of a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant, didn’t achieve the desired effect, according to many who dined there.

This is a story of many heroes. Standing tall among them is Brad Steig:

Steig, a manager for Halliburton, said he heard about the PETA protest on the radio and decided right then to eat at KFC on Wednesday, the day of the protest.

Not only that, but he bought seven of the biggest buckets of chicken and all the side dishes and used four trips to load them into his Halliburton pickup to treat his co-workers.

“I detest that organization,” Steig said …

To recap: he loaded seven buckets of fried chicken (and all the side dishes) into a Halliburton pickup during a PETA protest. That’s like at least four of my major life goals accomplished in one day. Grand Junction seems positively crowded with fine folk:

Jim Shults dined at KFC with his wife, Deb, on Wednesday just because of the PETA protest, he said. Shults called his lunch a preemptive strike, he said.

“I’m going to kill chickens before they kill me with bird flu,” said Shults. He called PETA “People Eating Tasty Animals.”

When he heard about the protest, he decided “instantaneously this is where we were going to eat today,” he said.

Deb Shults ate chicken strips, and said, “I’m killing one of their pot pies.”

The city’s children were raised right:

A group of Grand Junction High School students brought their chicken to the curb to eat in front of the costume chicken and the protesters.

Random individuals made their feelings known:

A big man in a big pickup rolled by, growling out his open window, “I eat chicken … lots of chicken.”

PETA should perhaps study an area’s demographics before organising their next protest:

Residents of Grand Junction gave more campaign money ($34,685) to Bush than to the other people running for President in 2004. Residents gave more to the Republican party than any of the others.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/20/2006 at 01:30 PM
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