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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 04:28 am
Billy Ray Cyrus adapts Keith Urban’s modified Jennifer Aniston hairdo for his own degenerate purposes. Not work safe. Not anything safe.
- It’s an improvement over that achey-breakey mullet.Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 22 at 03:02 AM • permalink
- Ohhhh. My achey-breaky eyes!Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 22 at 03:03 AM • permalink
- Quite obvious that Keith doesn’t snort his coke from a mirror.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 22 at 03:12 AM • permalink
- HOW could them bastards do that to ol’ jen’s hairstyle? THIS is why country music’s dead: because the men look like….uh……
can i still say “sissies”?
(nostalgic sigh) sure do miss ol’ jen…..you could always tell when she was chilly, and she was chilly a LOT.
Posted by jimmy quest on 2006 11 22 at 03:27 AM • permalink
- There oughta be a law…Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 22 at 03:55 AM • permalink
- That has got to be the worst wig ever.Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 22 at 04:43 AM • permalink
- Ummmm, Tim, is cross-promotion of the Daily Tele part of your new contract? I’m feeling really grouchy and both the 2 articles you have linked to are pretty lame.
<Ducks for cover as ground shakes and shadow of She-Who-Cannot-be-Named appears>
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 11 22 at 04:56 AM • permalink
- Very trendy male hair – in 1970. Been there, done that.
Saw my daughter wearing the latest long cotton dress the other day – same dress girlfriends wore in the 70s (except bits of glass sewn in were ‘in’ then).
Next – Keith Urban seen wearing v-knee flares.
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 11 22 at 05:20 AM • permalink
- Hotpants, Janice?
Mmmmm….All together, men:
PICTURES! PICTURES! PICTURES!Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 22 at 06:06 AM • permalink
- “A spate of celebrities”.
I always thought the group noun was “monumental wank”.Posted by Daniel San on 2006 11 22 at 06:51 AM • permalink
- OT, but this thread is about nothing anyway: some article about China in The Australian that ends with this:
Chinese internet police last year blocked access to a popular
Damn, those Chinese are good!
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 22 at 07:43 AM • permalink
- So, Nicole Kidman is now married to a guy in rehab? And she was formerly married to pretty-boy-now-cradle-robber-freakazoid Tom Cruise? Are celebrities actually the same species as everybody else? Has anybody checked the DNA?
Billy Ray Curious. Pffft! This is why, with very few exceptions, my favorite country/western music tends to be the tunes recorded by outfits like Bob Wills, Spade Cooley, Moon Mullican, and the Lightcrust Doughboys.
- O/T, but we’ve got Cindy Sheehan in Korea. I feel so… special.Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2006 11 22 at 09:23 AM • permalink
- Those photos are proof positive that crewcuts should be mandatory for entertainers.Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 22 at 10:19 AM • permalink
- #28: At least Billy Ray Cyrus has the distinction of having been a boon to agriculture with his well-known harvesting invention. In fact, I think . . . Hold it, there’s the telephone. Hello? MentalFloss! How’s it going, fellah? You still working on translating “War and Peace” into Hittite? What’s that? Cyrus McCormick? Not Billy Ray Cyrus? Oh, man, I sure goofed up this time. How am I going to extract myself from this fawks packs? Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok, that sounds good. Thanks!
As I was saying: anybody else think that Billy Ray Cyrus looks like he got run over by a horse-drawn reaper?
- OT, country-related…Beccy Cole’s “Poster Girl” arrived last night. Can’t stop crying.Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2006 11 22 at 10:52 AM • permalink
- I’ve seen it before. It’s Sawyer from Lost.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 22 at 11:42 AM • permalink
- In a dissident voice, my follicle-challenged Inner Guy would love to have that hair.
So I could cut 80% of it off, of course.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2006 11 22 at 11:45 AM • permalink
- OK now, by some bizarre bogan coincidence (I’m bogan, I’m drunk, tell someone who cares) I just came from the Wiki Creedence page.
If that guy is married to Our Nicole, why aint I married to
Jennifer HawkinsMiss Right (first name NOTAlways)…#29, TRJ, Ever hear of Movember? I trimmed my facial hair for said purpose, only problem was, I looked like I should be in Texas Bob’s command, what with the short hair and bad moe and all. Call me a lilly livered sissy boy, I shaved the upper lip…
#30, El Paco,
“Anybody else think that Billy Ray Cyrus looks like he got run over by a horse-drawn reaper?”
Yeah, but ain’t it unpolite to say bad things of the (musically) dead y’all. (:P )
#31, ChinkMath (whiskey), I only wish she were 3 years younger. (25, I still think numbers matter)…
#34, Dave, you geek, you F#cking geek. That is my all time favorite geekism.
#36, MZ, “I’m a complicated guy, sweetheart.”
P.S. Two years ago my hair was down to my arse. I raised $500AU for cancer research. Long hair sucks balls. Even if its clean and brushed, you flaming hippy…
P.P.S. I was the ONLY conservative dope smoking longhair I’d ever heard of; let alone met…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 22 at 01:41 PM • permalink
- #30, El Paco, That be Cyrus O’Cormack, me lad. I know yer older than me, but have ye more body hair than me? (25 and can run a Wog (legal English in WOZ) for body hair, except, mines red…)Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 22 at 01:46 PM • permalink
- #43, One shall assume your reference to a ‘lower primate’ regards an Englishman. What with the Cricket tomorrow and all.
Beard; schmeard, I mean yer chest hair man.
Cmon, ye didnt trim that off in the ‘30’s did ye?
Fedora and 6 Iron and so forth…
P.S. Has anyone heard from the Hawk re the COJ?
(I’ve developed a thing for a 572 Chev recently…)
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 22 at 02:58 PM • permalink
- A Nor’easter was dumping an ocean of rain on the city, and the interstates were a jerky, writhing mass of slithering automobiles piloted by people who’d prefer to be at home but didn’t want to run the risk of getting cut out of rich Aunt Sally’s will. But Sheila and I didn’t have a rich Aunt Sally, so we cancelled our respective family visits and made a date for Thanksgiving lunch at Barney’s Diner.
It was one of those old-style diners: lots of stainless steel, neon lights and a black-and-white checkered floor. It was also the haunt of the boys from the 5th Precinct, so was affectionately known as the place where the Heat Meet to Eat. The place could have survived on its donut margins.
We were seated in a booth by the plate glass window. The waiter had brought our meal – smoking hot plates filled with slices of turkey breast, rice with gravy, green beans and homemade buttermilk biscuits – and we were just commencing to tuck in, when Sheila stopped a fork full of rice half-way to her mouth.
“Paco, do you ever get the feeling you’re being watched?”
“In this business? Are you kidding?”
“Take a gander out the window.”
There was a guy standing there, shivering in the cold, pressed against the window like a bug on a windshield.
“Yeah, I see him.” I buttered a biscuit.
“Well, what do you intend to do about it? You can’t just leave the poor slob standing there with his nose pressed against the window like the little match girl!”
I sighed the sigh of the longsuffering do-gooder and called the waiter over. “Raul, would you step outside and ask Mr. Wronwright if he’d like to join us?”
Wronwright came up to the booth, still shivering. “Thanks, Paco. I’ve had kind of a rough time, lately, spending most of my money on trying to retrieve my museum-quality weaponry from . . .you know who . . .and so I’ve been a little short of jill . . .”
“You mean ‘jack’, don’t you?”
“Yeah, that’s right; I’ve been short of jack, and so . . .”
“Never mind. Pull a table ‘round and order up some grub.”
Wronwright’s face broke into a grin, and he suddenly reached over out table and banged on the window, and started waving. A moment later, there was a parade of the usual suspects through the front door: El Cid, MarkL, Grimmy, RebeccaH.
Sheila beamed. “Looks like we’re going to have that big family Thanksgiving dinner after all!”
I looked in my wallet and bid a silent farewell to the getus. It was ok. I’d probably be touching these birds for fees on upcoming cases soon enough, so why not spread a few bread crumbs on the water?
Happy Thanksgiving, you mugs!
- “Slices of turkey breast, rice with gravy, green beans and homemade buttermilk biscuits”
Hot Damn, I’m going to (occupied) North Carolina when I get stateside. Before I go to the Range of course.
P.S. Thanksgiving, aint that where y’all spit the steel shot from them big funny lookin’ birds, or can y’all still use lead shot coz they aint no water fowl???
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 22 at 03:08 PM • permalink
- Billy Ray’s looks dumb. Urban is a drunk so has some of my sympathy, & looks the part. My Chief’s hair was as long as mine is now when I met him. Full beard, too. Then there was 22 years in the USNavy. I believed he’d grow it back out again. Instead, he gets it cut once a month, even trims his beard. Lot more silver than brown. Looks quite handsome.
Straightening his hair, like these guys did…ummm…let’s just say it’d be something he’d expect of a metrosexual – not terribly Manly, if you get my drift…
- El Paco, Sir, by my count, your at least 10,000 miles closer than moi.
Check out the YouTube page for more info. (Look for the ‘Mail Call’ Ep, (1SG) Gunny Ermey has a 20 something minute link somewhere on youtube…)
P.S. Mini guns are even better than they look in ‘T2’ and ‘Predator’. The laws of Physics dictate only a US Govenor (spelling correction please, its 3:24am) (from Cali or Minnesota) can even possibly hope to operate said rotary MG from a standing position.
Or a Pro Wrestler.
P.P.S. Fuck the World Wildlife Fund in their hairy feminist arseholes (Serious apologies Ladies, unless your a WWF member, in which case, I pray you burn in Hell you furry Biatch).
Hacksaw Jim Duggan for President…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 22 at 03:32 PM • permalink
- Almost forgot, thanks for the reminder, paco:
A HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all of you – Tim, Andrea, paco, MentalFloss, nilknarf arbed, RebeccaH, kae, SwinishCapitalist, StopContinentalDrift, Dave S, yojimbo, Texas Bob, 91B30, ed, Dan Lewis, MuzzieZapper, janice, TheRealJeffS, crittenden, andycanuck, Nick&Nora; & all the rest of you who make my day more enjoyable! I am thankful for YOU!
- And good look on that ash-thing doo-hicky. Although it does escape me why you’d want to take wooden sticks to a bunch of Englishmen for a tupperware container full of cigarette ashes. (Mind you, there’s never a bad time to take wooden sticks to Englishmen, but only for pointless reasons, not for winning that ash-whatchamajigit.)Posted by David Crawford on 2006 11 22 at 03:48 PM • permalink
- #49, AKC, If your better half did 22 years of USN, I’d be fucking shocked, if not down right scared if he was a metro.
He is most likely a Retrosexual like myself, although the skippy version is somewhat different…
A most serious P.S. – A very merry Thanksgiving to all our seppo mates, be you at home, or in the sandpit.
May God bless you, your brothers and the corpses of the evil sons of biatches you have return to Gods (green) Earth. May you be returned to your loved ones as soon as He sees fit.
(I have no further words to describe the honor and respect I have for those who fight the good fight.) AmenPosted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 22 at 03:55 PM • permalink
- #53, DC, Even the Muzzies in Paki and Bango understand the significance of such a wonderous competition of skills.
You beligerent heathen you.
P.S. Can anyone explain to me why the two german ‘roaches I’ve nailed in the last 40 minutes are not being summarily devoured by the long legged spiders I’ve sent them to? (Hit with a fist, then flicked towards the skinny spider; as I do not wish to injure the spider by accident)
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 22 at 04:04 PM • permalink
- Janice – Geeze, walter. You went out with deadset hippy chicks?
Believe it or not, this was in the Young Liberals, Box Hill branch.
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 11 22 at 05:11 PM • permalink
- Thanks Auntie KC, and a happy Thanksgiving back at you and your other half.
And a big Happy Thanksgiving to our seppo mates, as has already been declared on this thread.
May all your turkeys be real and not defrosted by Tim.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 22 at 06:09 PM • permalink
- Thank you, Auntie dear! You have a lovely Thanksgiving as well.
And we’ll all be thinking of our Aussie mates as one of the things we’re thankful for. Even the dope-smoking long-haired drunken bogan geeks. Hell, especially the dope-smoking long-haired drunken bogan geeks.
Except Detective Paco, of course. The only turkey he’ll be enjoying tomorrow in his darkened office is Wild, drained from a shot glass with the grim resignation of a man who knows the only things to be thankful for come in either a bottle or a red dress, and both will probably kill you.
- Oh dear.. Was just watching Channel 10 right now, on their morning show.
They had Bryce Courtenay on to discuss his latest book Sylvia. Which he did, for a while, before turning to politics.
First he claims that Australia’s involvement in the Iraq War was definately done in exchange for the Free Trade Agreement.
Then he claims it was not even worthwhile from an economic point of view, because once the Democrats reclaim the white house, they will abolish the FTA.
And then he says, from a moral standpoint, the war was abhorent.
All of this powerful and insightful analysis from a man who can’t tell that 9/11 happened before Afghanistan or Iraq.
- Can turkey be halal? Happy thanks day!
Tim blair, Bega cheese (Austalian) is now Halal blessed..
Why can’t the Greek Orthodox endorse the product along with the Buddahs?
http://www.begacheese.com.au/search/sessearch.php?ae=ß&q=halal&op=and
Bega Cheese,the Great Australian Islamic Cheeese buy it now…As Allah as it gets!
- Forbidden to you is anything that dies by itself, and blood and pork, as well as whatever has been consecrated to something besides Allah, and whatever has been strangled, beaten to death, trapped in a pit, gored, and what some beast of prey has begun to eat, unless you give it the final blow; and what has been slaughtered before some idol, or what you divide up in a raffle; (all) that is immoral!” (5:3)
This is an abomination… (Chapter V, Verse 3)
The point is: we live in Australia, we are not an Islamic Sharia country, stop infiltrating our way of life and go and live in an Islamic nation.
Stop the imports colegate
- http://www.halalaustralia.com.au/HalalFoods.asp
Ongoing work is carried out to expand the network of countries to agree on uniform international standards for regulating Halal meat and food products. This Directory is a result of the on-going co-operation of the Halal certifying organisations contained in it.
Blah blah, the agenda meaning folks, It’s now an illusion our way of life.
The introduction of the human hyphen islamic species and using their knowledge is contiminating our society and inventions.
it’s time we told the Australian public it’s now all an illusion.
- #26 Paco: The reason why Cindy’s sign is misspelled is because those Koreans she’s with made it. BTW—Those Korean radicals, nominally from the South, are suspected of taking direction from North Korea, not that they can’t do enough damage by themselves without orders from the little guy up north.Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2006 11 22 at 07:53 PM • permalink
- #46 paco –
I don’t want anyone here getting the idea that I’m out of money. No. My funds are invested in very promising stocks.
I also talked to the mother-in-law (pieces being upon her). We’re having the following for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving menu:
– Butterball turkey
– dressing
– giblet gravy
– shrimp
– scalloped oysters
– corn casserole
– cranberry gelatin
– candied sweet potatoes
– green bean casserole
– port wine cheese ball
– pumpkin roll
– pumpkin pie
– cherry pieThe latter three desserts came from Miller’s Bakery & Gifts, a great Amish store.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 22 at 08:05 PM • permalink
- #70 Memo to the world: The “wronwright” referenced in the Detective Paco story above is not “wronwright” but another fellow of the same name. For the record, the “wronwright” who regularly comments here is a promising young tax attorney who has most of his assets concentrated in sound, conservative investments, including Paco Enterprises Convertible Debentures, warrants and options on shares of the Pacific Australian Cobalt and Oxygen mine, and polar bear belly futures – all managed, of course, by Paco Underwriters, LLC. Remember: we treat your money like it was our own!
BTW, wronwright: aren’t you afraid that if you eat all that food listed on your mother-in-law’s menu, your aorta will swell up and pop like a cheap circus balloon? Easy does it, fellah!
- Happy Thanksgiving, Auntie, and El Cid (still soaking up that seaside ambience, pal?) and all the folks in uniform, wherever you’re serving. And Andrea. And everyone else. Even you, Nancy Pelosi, you cosmetically enhanced old tart.
“I love freedom of speech” – George W Bush.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 22 at 08:30 PM • permalink
Can turkey be halal?
Yes, 1.618, you just have to pluck them facing Mecca. (They do something similar with goats IIRC.)
Happy thanks day!
And Happy (Late) Thanksgiving to all Tim’s American guests; have a safe one if you’re overseas (like avoiding plastic turkey).
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 22 at 08:38 PM • permalink
- SwinishCapitalist
Thank you for your wishes..Kind Sir.
still soaking up that seaside ambience, pal?
Yep, so far…but I am tiring of my adopted home State and the hoops they are making me jump through, to claim residency. I’m getting to that point of exasperation, to where I could chew iron and spit nails.
- Well, huh. That link doesn’t work now. Damn Amish. Ok, try this one.Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 22 at 08:43 PM • permalink
- I’m getting to that point of exasperation, to where I could chew iron and spit nails.
Isn’t that how Arnold became Governor of California?Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 22 at 08:46 PM • permalink
- Okay! Off to the airport for Thanksgiving! Gonna go long, then go hard on that turkey, then go home.
I am officially paying too much attention to politics.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 22 at 08:49 PM • permalink
- #72 paco, yes, I have high hopes for those investments. I am a little worried about paco mutual fund though. A 50% upfront fee? And 50% cut of the profits? Ordinarily I would laugh if someone came to me with those conditions. (pause for similated laugh of a Monty Python nature) But their investments in unconventional ventures did beat the socks off of Fidelity Investments and the Magellan Fund last year.
As far as my aorta is concerned, I try eating healthy. I usually eat Quaker Oatmeal each morning and it takes like shit, regardless of the “flavors”. I eat fruit and I barely chew it, I’m so sick of it. I drink V8 juice which might as well be syrup of ipecac. I’m eating every one of these dishes and when I’m done, I’ll be watching the football game while gnawing on a turkey leg. There’s a very good chance succulent juices will run off my chin onto the lazy boy chair and that’s cool with me.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 22 at 08:58 PM • permalink
- For some reason that first link doesn’t work when I placed it on this blog. I suspect some shenanigans by Andrea. But it does work if you do a Yahoo search for “Miller’s Bakery & Gifts” and you click the Uncle Gary link.
Ordinarily I wouldn’t mention this but I’m entranced by the song on that web site. I keep playing it in my mind. I’m envisioning some Arabic beauties gyrating in diaphonous fabrics.
Anyone know what the name of it is?
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 22 at 09:14 PM • permalink
- Tetanus, lock jaw
I just know that the shots hurt like buggery.
Oh, wait, maybe that didn’t quite come out right….
- #54 Woz,
Outstanding link!. Happy Thanks Giving to all you fine seppos, may your walking bird be juicy and your biscuits well-buttered.Posted by Daniel San on 2006 11 22 at 09:41 PM • permalink
- #71 Paco: Happy Thanksgiving. Yes, I’m in Seoul. Those Korean conscripted riot cops have the worst job in the world: hours upon hours of mind numbing standing around followed by minutes of whacked-out unionistas, radical college students, “farmers,” and other malcontents throwing molotov cocktails at your ass. Having to deal with white whackos would’ve been a novelty for the guys.Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2006 11 22 at 10:42 PM • permalink
- Several morning shows had stories on how not to over-eat on Thanksgiving, including gems like “fill your plate only once.”
Here’s my over-eating tip for Thanksgiving:
F***ing over-eat, for Christ’s sake! Eat half a goddamn turkey and two goddamn pumpkin pies by yourself, and if you want to wash it down with a full gravy boat, knock yourself the f*** out, because it’s motherf***ing THANKSGIVING, goddammit! Give thanks to your f***ing maker that you live in a time and place where assholes worry about HAVING TOO MUCH F***ING FOOD!
Thank you.
- Happy Thanksgiving Auntie KC, and All Ya’ll! (and I mean that in a good way). We had the full Thanksgiving spread here today, (except no green bean casserole) and I must say it was good. Even had a slice of pecan pie! I was a little disappointed though; they were completely out of plastic turkey. But soldiers make do with what they have, so I took a bite of the visiting Hillary Clinton’s face (which served as a mighty fine substitute for plastic turkey, once you get through the mushy, pasty outer coating).
The only hard part is spending yet another Thanksgiving away from my family. Friends, if you ever feel aggravated about the hussle-bussle, the hassles of traveling and traffic, and the noisy din of too many relatives in one room, let me tell you to stop. Remember this holiday that the one thing you should truly be thankful for this day is that you ARE there to be aggravated by all of these things. Give those you love a huge hug and a kiss, and thank God or science that they are with you. I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving, and even you heathen furriners.
Ordinarily I wouldn’t mention this but I’m entranced by the song on that web site. I keep playing it in my mind. I’m envisioning some Arabic beauties gyrating in diaphonous fabrics.
Anyone know what the name of it is?
Bouree’. Some classical composer; I remember the cover by Jethro Tull.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 23 at 09:59 AM • permalink
- #95 Thanks Rob. I looked it up on Wikepedia. Some dude named Johann Sebastian Bach did it. I’ll have to get a CD with it.Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 23 at 11:06 AM • permalink
- Debentures? But I’ve still got all of my teeth?Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 23 at 12:28 PM • permalink
- #55 tWoW;
“Can anyone explain to me why the two german ‘roaches I’ve nailed in the last 40 minutes are not being summarily devoured by the long legged spiders I’ve sent them to?”
Sure. Like frogs, if it isn’t moving, they don’t know it’s food, and they won’t even check.
You might be able to get them to take some interest, assuming the defunct roaches are tangled in the web, by gently moving the expired prey with a broomstraw or something similar. Blowing on it generally sends the spiders scurrying for cover.
Oh yeah; and happy thanksgiving to y’all on this side of the ponds.
- If you’ve got a spider that eats cockroaches in your house, WoW, I suggest you encourage it to breed and copyright its DNA, cos my spiders won’t even come out for a look.
My usual strategy is to give them a good whack with a fly swatter – ah, the pleasures of the hunt! – and then leave them in the backyard. The ants will clean them up in a couple of hours.Hey, Thanksgivingers! How are the bellies today?
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 23 at 08:03 PM • permalink
- Happy Thanksgiving to all. Big day for me. Some small town newspaper twit called me racist for a post and that’s the FIRST time I’ve ever had that happen. Sanctimonious pinhead. (I can only believe the objectionable phrase was “fuzzy cleric”.)
And then I have to read this:
A spate of celebrities – including ole Richie, Paris Hilton, Tony Hawk, William Shatner, Carmen Electra and Ice Cube
Oh yes ~ huge, HUGE celebrities.
We’re doomed. Happy Thanksgiving.
Posted by tree hugging sister on 2006 11 24 at 12:05 AM • permalink
- #100, Further investigation reveals these spiders seem to prefer moving prey, much as you have pointed out, but at the same time may also explain why we have no Red-Backs below 8 feet above the ground at my joint. Or perhaps its because is hit the poisonous little twin colored bitches with the nearest boot any chance I get. Long-Legs I leave alone, I live near a lake…Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 24 at 02:03 PM • permalink
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