Hegemonster grows and grows

Last updated on May 20th, 2017 at 10:17 am

Larvatus Prodeo reader Paul Burns laments Australia’s craven qualification as a 52nd US state under John Howard, prompting this exchange:

GregM: Paul, what was the fifty-first State?

Paul: Alaska or Hawaii, wasn’t it? Or have I got my count wrong?

It’s odd that this confusion exists (mainly among lefties, for some reason). Hawaii became the 50th state nearly 50 years ago; none have been added since.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/03/2008 at 12:53 PM
    1. Maybe ol’ Paul’s got his states mixed up with his commonwealths and territories and such like. Haw! You don’t reckon he’s sayin’ that Australia is like some kind of Bogan Puerto Rico, do ya? Hell, I wouldn’t take that kinda crap off’n somebody who comments at a pink and purple blog, if I was one of you Australians.

      Posted by paco on 2008 03 03 at 01:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Canada was the 51st state.

      You guys didn’t hear? It was in all the papers.
      Don’t worry, you won’t be the 52nd, we only want places that have oil.

      Posted by Veeshir on 2008 03 03 at 01:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Tim, you’re forgetting that the 51st State was the State of Denial that Chimpy McHitlerstein and Lord Karl have imposed upon us.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 03 03 at 01:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. The “51st State” is Puerto Rico, called that since they get all the benefits of American citizenship without all those pesky taxes and such.

      Posted by mojo on 2008 03 03 at 01:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. According to UK lefties, Blair, Tony took them into 51st State servitude, although Canadians might claim priority.

      When I lived in Canada back in the 60’s, people were always talking about whether or not they should become 51.  When I returned to the US and mentioned it, folks here usually responded with, “Huh? Why would they do that?”

      Posted by Winger on 2008 03 03 at 01:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. So when are you guys going to take Queen Elizabeth off your $5.00 and replace it with George Bush??

      Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 03 03 at 01:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Every body just calm down. Take a deep breath and relax.

      We have several and various star field redesign options before the flag committee. Once a new pattern is selected, you’ll all have equal opportunities in applying as the new state additions.

      Number of new states to be determined by the star field pattern chosen by the committee, of course.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 03 at 01:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. I only want the western part of Canada to be part of the U.S.  Who needs more east coast lefties whether they’re current US states or potential US states?

      Australia may not have oil, but they sure have a lot of other natural resources we could exploit . . . iron ore, coal, handsome men.

      Posted by Polly on 2008 03 03 at 01:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. In one of those weird moments in history, Baja California could have become the 51st or even 50th State.  Wobblies in Baja

      An unlikely amalgam of Mexcan bandits, U.S. Marine deserters, Filibusters, Welch adventurers, Anarchists and Wobblies actually conquered Tijuana c. 1911.

      It quickly became a tourist attraction, so there are postcards to prove it! It was great fun while it lasted, except for the mayor, who was killed in the first assault.

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2008 03 03 at 01:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. So who will be the 53rd state, then?

      Posted by ushie on 2008 03 03 at 01:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. #10, ushie:

      Whoever’s leader wins the 500 word essay contest titled “Why We Should Become the Next New State of the United States of America”.

      There may be a talent contest too. That part is still under discussion.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 03 at 01:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Number of new states to be determined by the star field pattern chosen by the committee, of course.

      One airport I connected through on the way back to Europe in ‘04/05 (either Philly or Charlotte, I don’t remember) had one of its corridors lined with all the historical US flags from 13 stars to 50. Pretty impressive display, actually, to a furriner like me.

      I do wonder what the likely pattern for 51 stars would be. The first Google hit just led me to this…eh, looks kinda odd at first glance. (And I just bookmarked this page…not as impressive as the wall display, of course.)

      Posted by PW on 2008 03 03 at 01:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, and a possibly stupid question, but I suspect approximately 237 people here will be able to tell me, anyway: Are those old fewer-than-50-stars flags considered obsolete or can they be flown “officially” just like their current successor?

      Posted by PW on 2008 03 03 at 01:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. PW:

      Don’t tell anyone, but the committee is leaning toward a standard 10 stars per row design. This would allow the ability to admit new states in groups of 10 and only require adding a new row and reducing the size of each individual star.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 03 at 01:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, good. Consider Germany volunteered as part of the next batch. 😉 (Assuming that you’d want us in the first place, and that Canada/Australia/Poland/Czech Republic/etc. haven’t already filled it.)

      Posted by PW on 2008 03 03 at 01:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. PW:

      My understanding on the technical legalities is not all that up to speed, so this is just SWAG with no S part…

      Officially? as in from a US embassy or federal building? No. That’s be my guess.

      Can a citizen fly any of the old flag designs for his/her own reasons/desires? Yes.

      My knowledge of flag laws and rules are limited to the basics. Flag goes up at sunrise, down at sunset. Flag not flown at night unless lit by lighting source. Flag not to touch the ground. Old, worn, dirty or discolored flags to be disposed of by burning.
      And, in the truck (the ball at the top of the flag pole) on every flag pole on a USMC base or installation are symbolic items. A waterproofed match, a single cartridge for a service pistol. This is symbolic for the last man standing in case of base over run by hostiles. Last man lowers and burns the flag and then has one last round to chamber to ensure he’s not captured alive.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 03 at 01:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. 11. Whoever’s leader wins the 500 word essay contest titled “Why We Should Become the Next New State of the United States of America”.

      Potential contestants might look through these supporting points

      .

      Posted by Apostic on 2008 03 03 at 02:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. PW, as Grimmy said, “There may be a talent contest too. That part is still under discussion.”

      What interesting talents does Germany have?  And what is your answer to, “What I think is the Most Important Issue facing us Today?”

      Posted by ushie on 2008 03 03 at 02:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. So if Puerto Rico is the 51st state, Canada the 52nd to 61st states and the UK the 62nd to 65th state then by my reckoning Australia is the 66th to 71st state.

      Posted by Ross on 2008 03 03 at 02:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. There may be a talent contest too. That part is still under discussion.

      I just made the mistake of picturing the swimsuit contest.  Who’s got the imagination bleach?

      Posted by Achillea on 2008 03 03 at 02:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Older flag versions are not used at official functions. The description of the official flag is actually defined by law. However, they can be displayed for educational or patriotic purposes, such as in parades.

      Other important flag facts

      1. Only the Confederate flag may be displayed in the back window of a pick-up truck.
      2. The U.S. flag may not be flown in Berkeley, CA, or the locals will fall down on the ground kicking and screaming.
      3. The state flag of Nevada features a showgirl and a hooker holding a banner that reads “Double Or Nothing”.
      4. When Merlin was born, the flag only had 48 stars. Geez, I’m old.

      Posted by Merlin on 2008 03 03 at 02:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. So if Puerto Rico is the 51st state, Canada the 52nd to 61st states and the UK the 62nd to 65th state then by my reckoning Australia is the 66th to 71st state.

      Nice! Just add one more and you can have a 72 star flag that maintains the same asthetic appeal as the current one.

      And on that note…our automotive engineering is still top-notch, ushie. Inexpensive Beamers for everyone! And the most important issue facing us is clearly the question of how to maintain the continued excellence of Paco Enterprises products and their availability to all who want them (and those who don’t).

      Merlin, thanks.

      Posted by PW on 2008 03 03 at 02:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. Merlin:

      Wow! Do you actually remember life before baked Alaska? How did people manage to have a flaming ice cream dessert?

      I can’t even imagine life with only Cherries Jubilee after every meal! How deprived a childhood you must have had.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 03 at 02:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. I thought we gave Hawaii back to Code Pink.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2008 03 03 at 03:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Grimmy,

      Oh we had Baked Alaska.
      Cook would always whip up a sumptuous repast complete with dessert, but then, invariably, Father would turn to the children – so neatly turned out in our formalwear – and wink and say, “You know, it’s not a state at all!

      Oh, how we’d chuckle at his bon mot.

      Then the 60’s arrived and everyone I knew got into sex, drugs and Hendrix.

      Posted by Merlin on 2008 03 03 at 03:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Why is this thread about some sort of HEGEMONSTER? I thought that a hegemon was a Jamaican gardener.

      Posted by ErnieG on 2008 03 03 at 03:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, and a possibly stupid question, but I suspect approximately 237 people here will be able to tell me, anyway: Are those old fewer-than-50-stars flags considered obsolete or can they be flown “officially” just like their current successor?

      They can be flown, but are not “official” and don’t need to be treated with the same level of care. As an example, Disney uses a 49 star flag (I believe) on some of the boats that service Disney World.

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2008 03 03 at 03:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. Lefties who are still confused about the official number of states are advised to count the stars in the flag before they burn it.

      Don’t try to count them after you’ve set it on fire!  This can be dangerous!

      Posted by miriams ideas on 2008 03 03 at 03:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. Are those old fewer-than-50-stars flags considered obsolete or can they be flown “officially” just like their current successor?

      Is anyone else wondering just who would object and how would they know?  (Today in the news a Irving Labinowitz shimmied up a 25 foot flag pole in North Albany, New York to verify that the flag flying by the North Albany Junior High School had 49 stars, not 50.  When confronted with the facts, Principal Sylvia LeMaster responded by saying “Who gives a fat rat’s ass Labinowitz?  Me?  Fuck no.  So get your size 42 pants out of my school you A hole or I’m siccing the safety patrol on you”.)

      Posted by wronwright on 2008 03 03 at 03:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. #29: LOL!

      Let’s see, now. If you’re flying a flag with only 49 stars, then that means you’re leaving out Hawaii – a state where Obama lived and which he carried in the primaries. Yep, sounds like racism to me.

      Posted by paco on 2008 03 03 at 04:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. amateur star counter … I know, I know, but it just never gets old…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 03 at 04:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Back on topic. Dear Lavatory Rodeo commenters, try using a “search engine”. It will enable you to verify simple facts before exposing your stupidity for the entire world to see.

      Posted by CB on 2008 03 03 at 04:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. PW’s flag question.

      Executive Order 10834 amended section 2 of title 4 of the United States Code to add one more star for Hawaii.  Section 31 of 10834 states that this will be the official flag of the United States from July 4, 1960 onward.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2008 03 03 at 04:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. Everyone refers to and Canada as States #52 to #61.  There are some who would argue that Old Mexico should be #52, followed in succession by other Central and South American countries, since the personnel flow from above the 49th parallel is smaller than from the other direction.

      Me, I’m holding out for Antarctica.  Not only are the recreational possibilities endless, the natural resources waiting to be ripped from Mother Gaia™ requiring careful and environmentally safe removal are immense.

      Then, too, we can make Peter Garrett buy oodles of carbon offsets for every flight he makes there.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 03 at 05:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Canada is a suburb of Detroit, it can’t be a state.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2008 03 03 at 05:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. The left still can’t let go of John Howard. On matters foreign Rudd still doesn’t seem to be on Beijing’s invitation list. Maybe telling Hu in Mandarin last year that he’d like to fondle Hu’s son didn’t go down as well as the media reported.

      Rudd’s first official world tour is to the US and Europe, where he will get to watch a NATO summit from the stands. So much for Labor’s claim to be the party best to engage Asia.  Rudd international travel so far has consisted of using John Howard’s invitation to big note himself in Bali and inviting himself to East Timor (twice), Afghanistan and Iraq. Visitors have been restricted to soulmate NZ PM Mr Helen Clark and some aid-dependent Pacific islander.

      Why, we even had the indignity of our prime minister finalising the Lombok treaty with the Indonesian foreign minister. Indon President Bam Bam Do You Owe Me didn’t think the occasion warranted his own attendance.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 03 03 at 05:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. And all of their hockey teams are part of the National Hockey League.  Not the Multi or Bi-national Hockey League.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2008 03 03 at 05:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Actually, Coahuila, Chihauhau, and Sonora should be the 51st, 52nd, and 53rd states.  You almost can’t tell the difference between them and Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona anyway… well, except maybe for the public buildings made out of stucco and corrugated tin.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 03 03 at 05:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wow, going over to Lavartus was an education.

      The tone is set immediately with someone taking a tilt at Greg Sheridan. Then that leading drunk Andrew Barlett exposes himself.

      But Myriad sure has the world worked out with all her first year political science theories just rolling off the pen. Rote, rote, rote, cliche, cliche, cliche.

      Myriad feels that an Obama Presidency will fix world ills like global warming, foreign aid and the removal of USA’s nuclear stocks. Fantastic Myriad. Obama the miracle worker.  Plus a stronger recognition of Australia’s role in Asia. Myriad’s setting herself up for a big fall.

      Where would the coffee industry be if it wasn’t for these pleasant purists?

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 03 03 at 07:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s not really all that puzzling:

      Liberals keep making the same factual errors because all they do is repeat what they heard other liberals say.

      Posted by Aaron – Freewill on 2008 03 03 at 07:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Andrew Bartlett makes the same kumbaya feel good mistake as code pink.  If Obama gets in the rest of the world will treat you nicer crap.  Let’s sit down with Osama and try and understand his point of view, but don’t let the gay aides come along, just in case this offends him.

      FFS no wonder he got voted out.

      Posted by peter m on 2008 03 03 at 08:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. #38 Rebecca, I hate to disagree, but there is a difference between Coahuila, Chihauhau, Sonora and Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona. The latter has indoor plumbing.

      Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 03 at 09:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #38 & 42: Perdónenme, señoras, pero es “Chihuahua”, no “Chihauhau”.  (Hau!)

      Posted by paco on 2008 03 03 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think you people have got it backwards.

      The question is when does the U.S. become the seventh state.

      No doubt it’ll take a bit longer with the present government.

      Posted by s.r.intulom on 2008 03 03 at 10:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. #38, Mrs. H,

      I’ve been to all six of those states and am a resident of one.  My my! What differences!

      Especially with the first three versus the last three.  I know your personality via the proxy of hundreds or thousands of comments, so I’m pretty sure you’re joking, but I didn’t get it.

      As backwater patrón-based is New Mexico’s government, things here are swell compared to those Mexican states.

      Even New Mexico (#47– admitted 1912) with its culture very tied to that of Mexico shows that if a political entity adopts the relatively pro-freedom policies of the USA, it can prosper.

      Posted by reese on 2008 03 03 at 10:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Translating for Paco, “Pardon me, all y’all nice ladies, dog is ‘Chihuahua,’ not ‘Chihauhauh.’ (LOL!)”

      Paco, thanks for letting me use that o-accent thingy.

      Posted by reese on 2008 03 03 at 10:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. I did indeed mispell Chihuahua.  And yes, I was joking.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 03 03 at 11:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Pronounced “Chee-hu-A-hu-A”

      Posted by mojo on 2008 03 03 at 11:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. What?!  No new states in 50 years?  Come on people, are we an imperial power or aren’t we?

      Posted by RK on 2008 03 03 at 11:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. Imperial, World Encompassing, United States.

      I, WE, US.

      Everyone else is just a them.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 04 at 12:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. The guy probably saw this movie and thought it was non-fiction, thus believing the first 51 were already taken.

      Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2008 03 04 at 12:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Good question, RK.

      Mojo, is that a “WKRP in Cincinatti” reference?  Les Nesman?  If so, remember that baseball player Chye Chye Rodrigwheeze?

      Hau!

      RebeccaH, of course you were.  Just… well, I didn’t get it.  I regret saying anything.  Hopefully, let me just forget this.

      Thanks.

      Posted by reese on 2008 03 04 at 12:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ack, I mean golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez.

      Posted by reese on 2008 03 04 at 12:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. #29 wronwright, you’ve been hitting the Sumerian mead a bit too hard and landed on one of my pedant sore spots.  The word you want (most likely) is ‘shinny’ as in to shinny up a pole by hugging it alternately with one’s arms and legs.  If one were to ‘shimmy’ up a pole, I presume one would be shaking one’s body from side to side as he ascended the pole.

      And, I don’t think Canada is the 51st or any other state, it’s more like a ward, a la Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson.

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2008 03 04 at 01:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Lefties know nothing about the States because being anti-American is the last socially approved prejudice. Pig ignorance is important to prejudice. And that may be prejudicial to pigs …

      Posted by Inurbanus on 2008 03 04 at 05:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. #28 Miriam…

      Don’t try to count them after you’ve set it on fire!  This can be dangerous!

      Don’t nanny them. Let them find out for themselves.

      Posted by kae on 2008 03 04 at 06:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. Seriously, folks, there is a reason the lefties are obsessed with counting the US states.  They have a paranoid belief in the imperial reach of the US that means it really wishes to conquer and control the whole world.
      The reality is that the US is the one great powers in history who, immmediately they have invaded a place argue loudly about having a quick exit strategy in place.It never seems to occur to lefties that the Soviet Union crumbled fast and exposed the absurdity of forcing so many different peoples under their oppressive socialist umbrella as a ‘Union’.
      They can’t stand the idea that the 50 US states WANTED to belong together.

      Posted by Barrie on 2008 03 04 at 08:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Expansionist Imperial United States of America is right up there with the VRWC in leftardic moronisms. It’s all projection.

      The entire ideology of the leftard is one of enforcing the “one size fits all” solution set to as broad and wide a reach as can be achieved.

      One world governance is a leftard project.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 04 at 12:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. #43 Perdónenme, Señor Paco, pero esto es Los Estados Unidos. Nosotros hablamos “Chihuahua”, no “Chihauhau”.

      Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 04 at 06:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. I thought a ‘Hegemonster’ was a Jamaican zombie!
      /professor bunyip paraphrase

      Posted by andycanuck on 2008 03 04 at 08:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oops, “…who kills gardeners”.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2008 03 04 at 08:46 PM • permalink

 

  1. The worst offenders for this are bloody self-righteous Canucks. They all go yapping on about how ignorant people in the US are, how they know nothing of foreign countries yada yada yada ad nauseam. Nine out of ten of them are floored if you ask them how many States there are (try it – you’ll be amazed). I have won cash money this way. Bonus fun: ask them the capitals of states with which Canada shares a border (fraction of Canadians I have met who know Montpelier is the capital of Vermont: approx 0.05). And if you want to see them stamping their tiny little frozen feet in impotent fury, remind them that since they are denizens of the North American continent they are ipso facto Americans. The logical and linguistic contortions I have seen some moose-humpers go through trying to deny this fact are quite awe-inspiring.

    Posted by David Gillies on 2008 03 05 at 06:17 PM • permalink