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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 08:09 am
(As previously, all chases are rated according to the Standard Perp Pursuit Index.)
Chase One: MANCHESTER MARKET MAYHEM!
Perp(s) on the loose: 15 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 2 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3 points
Building(s) struck: 4 points
Non-building object(s) struck: 3 points
Style points: 4 (perps stuck a Pontiac right into a market, yet were able to flee uninjured. Says a witness: “It’s amazing no one got hurt – the cops said they didn’t find any blood or anything in the car”)
TOTAL: 31
Chase Two: BROCKTON BITER!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 6 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3 points
Chase involved foot pursuit: 3 points
Non-building object(s) struck: 3 points
Style points: 4 (“Two troopers were bitten during the arrest”)
TOTAL: 25
Chase Three: CHESTER ARRESTER FEST!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 12 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 10 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3 points
Style points: 4 (number of people who ended up in hospital: eight!)
TOTAL: 29
Chase Four: DUET IN DES MOINES!
Shots fired by perp(s): 2 points
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 24 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 4 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 6 points
Non-building object(s) struck: 3 points
Style points: 5 (a second fleeing vehicle joined the chase)
TOTAL: 44
Chase Five: GALVESTON GETAWAY!
Perp(s) on the loose: 5 points
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 12 points
Chase involved foot pursuit: 3 points
Style points: 4 (police used tear gas to flush out runaway driver)
TOTAL: 24
Chase Six: PEDAL TO THE METAL IN PETALING JAYA!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Style points: 10 (heroic teenage boy flees captor, provides police with detailed vehicle description)
TOTAL: 16
Chase Seven: LOSIN’ IT ON EXIT SIX!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Style points: 7 (teen driver won drag race, ran red light at 100 mph)
TOTAL: 13
Chase Eight: MISDEMEANOR IN WEST COVINA!
Perp(s) on the loose: 5 points
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 12 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 2 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3 points
Chase involved foot pursuit: 3 points
TOTAL: 30
Chase Nine: SLO-MO TAIPAI TAKEDOWN!
Shots fired at perp(s): 3 points
Perp(s) hit: 4 points
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 2 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3 points
Style points: 6 (the suspect repeatedly outwitted his pursuers by “waiting for the light to turn green and driving away”)
TOTAL: 24
Chase Ten: NOT GOING FAR ON RIO DEL MAR!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 2 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3 points
Non-building object(s) struck: 6 points
Style points: 5 (female driver), 5 (driver leapt from car while it was in motion)
TOTAL: 27
Chase Eleven: BAKERSFIELD BUSTOUT!
Perp(s) on the loose: 5 points
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 24 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 10 points
Chase involved foot pursuit: 3 points
Chase involved means of transport other than car: 5 points
Style points: 4 (perps obligingly stopped to allow one of their number to escape before resuming the getaway)
TOTAL: 51
Chase Twelve: GREEN BAY SMACKER!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Vehicle(s) damaged: 2 points
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3 points
Non-building object(s) struck: 3 points
Style points: 4 (driver spun out but recovered to continue)
TOTAL: 18
Chase Thirteen: GLASGOW FIASCO!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Style points: – 6 (driver meekly surrendered; received mere 8-month jail term despite 10 previous citations)
TOTAL: 0
Chase Fourteen: HUNT BY NAME, HUNT BY NATURE!
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6 points
Animal(s) involved: 6 points
Style points: 20 (perp was pursued not by cops but by private citizen Christian Hunt, president and CEO of Care Rehab and Orthopaedic Products, Inc. Quote: “I’ve done some adventurous things before, but this one was the most fun”)
TOTAL: 32
This round’s winner: BAKERSFIELD BUSTOUT!, with 51 points. Congratulations, California! (Bakersfield also claims the all-time points record, previously held by TEXMEX COW CARBAKE!.)
UPDATE. Reader Dipole locates a 47-pointer—the BNEI BRAK BACKTRACK!
Wow. Who knew that Des Moines could be so exciting?
Posted by Sonetka’s Mom on 2006 09 25 at 01:23 PM • permalink
Style points: 4 (perps stuck a Pontiac right into a market
…where they smashed into a fruit cart, then continued on to blast through a pile of cardboard boxes and narrowly miss a baby stroller, before hitting a parked car with a glancing blow that launched their vehicle into a spinning somersault through a plate-glass window.
Puh-leeeze! Negative-4 style points for unoriginality.
Who knew that Des Moines could be so exciting?
Certainly no one who’s ever been there.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 25 at 01:47 PM • permalink
Bakersfield wikki This is pretty accurate.
I can vouche for Trouts being a great place to party. Got my front tooth busted there years ago.
I used to bounce at Jerry’s Pizza. That can be a wild place but mostly it’s all gutter punk kiddies.
For Zoe Brain, the Basque aint all bad if let them alone to tend their sheep and they got some hella good food.
Too bad I didn’t know about this years ago. Guy not far from here tried to fake a car wreck to collect the insurance by yanking out teeth with pliers and bashing himself on the forehead with a grapefruit. Couldn’t understand why he got caught.
Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2006 09 25 at 02:38 PM • permalink
Ah, reminds me of my younger days, particularly one late night when several “older kids” (i.e., high school seniors), who meant me no good, thought they had me boxed in on a loop road, and I maneuvered adroitly (through someone’s front yard) in my Plymouth Superbird and got away from them.
Were any of the vehicles Reuters armoured SUVs or Red Cross ambulances?
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 25 at 02:55 PM • permalink
#9, ah, paco, fond memories. I remember the night my girlfriends and I led a group of boys on a merry chase through the streets of Graham, Texas in my parents’ Buick LeSabre stationwagon. Not only through the streets, but around the town square, through the Dairy Queen parking lot, past the A&W, around and around the high school, and finally to the parallel parking in front of the police station. The boys departed, and we went back to Dairy Queen for cherry cokes.
O/T – Barry Cohen in an op-ed in today’s The Australian on Latham:
Latham also has memory lapses. He forgot to mention what happened during lunch. Having raised three sons, we should have known better than leave my wife Rae’s prized piece of porcelain on the coffee table. Oliver, a two-year-old, picked it up and smashed it into a thousand pieces – at his father’s feet. It was not Oliver’s fault, but ours.
Rae showed remarkable restraint. White knuckles, an intake of oxygen and a gurgled “Oh, dear”, was her only indication of pain.
Mark showed even greater restraint. He didn’t even notice. No apology. No “I’m sorry”. No attempt to clean up the debris. Nothing. It was a minor incident in life’s rich tapestry but it revealed the true nature of Mark Latham.
As he departed, the First Lady hissed through gritted teeth: “If that bastard ever becomes leader of the Labor Party, I’m voting Liberal.” She kept her promise. Fortunately for Australia, she was not alone.
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 09 25 at 05:49 PM • permalink
- O/T
For the Diggers and anyone else interested in the Australian military, how it’s percieved by the US military and how the alliance between us is going.
The Relationship (Sydney Institute Podcast)It’s an hour and 5 mins long but well worth the listen. The actual brief is about 15 mins long, the rest of the podcast is questions and answers. Really, the whole thing is pretty damn interesting.
Damn, was hoping for the home state Brockton boys; maybe I need to get more involved?
Posted by RogerBournival on 2006 09 25 at 08:03 PM • permalink
Oh, jeez, didn’t see the original hometown report in that city I lovingly refer to as “Manch Vegas”.
I grew up in this ‘city’. Check out the map of the area. They have plenty of room to scatter to, and if you could lay in the topographics of the area, going for the open areas (uphill, to the right, mostly) and doing a double-back (downhill, left side) works every f*ckin’ time.
Take it from someone who’s done it a dozen times to get out of sh*t in that area of town as a teenager.
Posted by RogerBournival on 2006 09 25 at 08:29 PM • permalink
Dude, “click this button to make a proper html link” doesn’t fit on that little rectangle up there. I thought “link” would do it for people, but I guess not.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 09 25 at 08:32 PM • permalink
Full Style Points: KTLA Los Angeles, which keyed-in a car chase live over one of President Bush’s State of the Union addresses…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 09 25 at 08:44 PM • permalink
We don’t really have dramatic car chases in Boston.
That’s because the perps would be regarded as unusually courteous and mannerly drivers, and when the rest of the Bahstahnians got wind of it their average speed would be 4 MPH.
RebeccaH, I think that was before my time, but I’ve been lost in Graham. You can probably estimate the amount of Shiner Bock necessary to achieve that state quite accurately.
Regards,
Ric
You’d think the Russkies would at least get an honorable mention in this kind of action with their extensive crim element, some frankly major league alcohol abuse and all the rusty Trabbies they have laying around begging to go out in a blaze of glory.
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 09 25 at 10:55 PM • permalink
Perp(s) on the loose: 5 (x2)
Perp(s) captured/terminated: 6
Vehicle(s) damaged: 2
Vehicle(s) damaged, unable to continue: 3
Chase involved foot pursuit: 3
Non-building object(s) struck: 3
Style points: 20 (3 perps flee on foot. 1 caught, 1 escaped, 1 doubled back and stole the police cruiser).Total 47
Rats. I thought I had a winner. Any points for exotic location?
29. Holy cow dipole! I guess constantly being under seige by a jillion dysfunctional Arabs makes those Israeli lads a little crazy, eh?
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 09 25 at 11:11 PM • permalink
all the rusty Trabbies they have laying around
Cardboard rusts?
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 26 at 10:51 AM • permalink
- Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 09 26 at 08:04 PM • permalink
We don’t really have dramatic car chases in Boston.
That’s because you can’t have a really dramatic car chase on a street four feet wide unless you’re Remy Julien in a freaking Fiat…in which case passing bicyclists or senior citizens on walkers can take you out…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 09 26 at 08:22 PM • permalink
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