The gods are not pleased

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 03:51 pm

Scream with joy, James Wolcott! Your favourite team is scheduled for a road game in your very own city:

New York will one day be hit by a ferocious hurricane that will flood the streets and knock out the transport system, the director of the US National Hurricane Centre says.

“It is not a question of if a major hurricane will strike the New York area, but when,” Max Mayfield, director of the hurricane centre in Miami, Florida, told a US Senate committee.

As Wolcott says: It only seems fair.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/25/2006 at 12:39 PM
    1. Our home is girt by sea, f—- yeah.

      Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2006 05 25 at 12:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe James Wolcott will throw himself into the ocean just to appease the gods and save New York.

      Or he could just get drunk and fall in.  Either way works for me.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 05 25 at 12:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #2: Now, that’s funny!

      Posted by paco on 2006 05 25 at 12:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. “It is not a question of if a major hurricane will strike the New York area, but when,” Max Mayfield, director of the hurricane centre in Miami, Florida, told a US Senate committee.

      It is not a question of if a the sun will turn into a red giant, but when.

      It is not a question of if you will break a newly-manicured nail, but when.

      It is not a question of if James Wolcott will write something interesting, but when.

      Posted by goldsmith on 2006 05 25 at 01:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. It is not a question of if James Wolcott will write something interesting, but when.

      No, I think it really is a question of “if”.

      Posted by paco on 2006 05 25 at 01:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. By golly, if a hurricane hits New York, then we’ll see what kind of stuff Mr. Wolcott is made of!  I’m betting he’ll jet off to London or some place before the first blow, and cry like a girl.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 05 25 at 01:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #6, He’ll certainly cry like a girl if he misses the last plane out of NYC before the blow.

      Posted by Retread on 2006 05 25 at 01:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. I say, Bring it on! (Then again, my house is 50 miles north of town, thank God, in a Red county.)

      As Steyn has said, in the northern U.S. Mother Nature tries to kill us 6 months out of the year (compare Canada: 10). Wolcott’s a woosie but not all of us are.

      Posted by SoberHT on 2006 05 25 at 01:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. James has written about this before; he *wants* a hurricane to come to New York, doesn’t he? – as if it would give him a thrill that is, er, lacking in his life otherwise.

      Here’s what you do, James. Manhattan at its highest point is 284 feet above sea level (Bennett Park, at 184th Street and Ft. Washington Blvd. – not your usual neighborhood, I know).  When the day finally comes when sensible people are either battening down or leaving the city,  go sit in the park wearing a slicker and carrying a kerosene lantern.  And when the winds pass 100 mph and the rain is lashing down so hard as to knock you off your feet, scream like the Liza Minnelli character in “Cabaret’’ does every time a train goes by.  You might get swept off into the Hudson River of course, but it will have been worth it.  And if you survive, you might even get a column out of it.

      Posted by Sonetka’s Mom on 2006 05 25 at 02:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker’s God-given right.”
      —Da Mayor, Ghostbusters II

      Posted by mojo on 2006 05 25 at 03:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Where was the copy editor?

      “Fortunately, this is not news to New York emergency managers,” Mayfield told MPs.

      Mayfield was speaking to Senators! The US doesn’t have “MPs.”

      Posted by Forbes on 2006 05 25 at 03:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. The big one hits and I’m on the porch, watching Midtown float by. There’s Walcott, clinging to his Prada raft and all I do is wave.
      Boy can I fantasize.

      Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2006 05 25 at 03:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. #12: Now, there’s a vision to make one smile.

      Posted by paco on 2006 05 25 at 04:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. And in a massively ironic occurrance, Mr. Wolcott’s raft is punctured by the torch of the Statue of Liberty, jutting out of the storm surge…

      Posted by Major John on 2006 05 25 at 04:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. In the movie The Manchurian Candidate there is a scene where Frank Sinatra is seen holding a newspaper.  The headline reports the death of the Senator.  Above this, another headline reads “Violent Hurricane Hits Midwest”.

      It is not a question of when a violent hurricane will hit the Midwest, but when.

      Posted by TimShell on 2006 05 25 at 05:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’ll probably be the same day California suffers that giant earthquake that’s been due noreallytrulyanydaynowsince I was in freakin’ grade school.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 05 25 at 06:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hurricanes are in Jehovah’s arsenal for fighting the United Nations, false religions, goats and all intellectuals, according to Harold Bloom’s analysis of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  Also in the arsenal are forest fires, floods, avalanches, earthquakes and terrible plagues.  It’s not a matter of if, but when.

      New York City is a likely first place to hit, for intellectuals.  You’d hit Montanna first to take out the goats.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2006 05 25 at 06:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe James Wolcott will throw himself into the ocean just to appease the gods and save New York.

      Just what Manhattan needs.  A breakwater with blood in its cholesterol…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 25 at 08:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sonetka’s Mom—Any chance we can persuade him to go down to Battery Park and wait for it there, instead?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 25 at 08:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. #16:

      “Non-happening quake fails to kill thousands – children, doomsayers hardest hit” ?

      Posted by PW on 2006 05 25 at 09:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. #14, Better and better!

      Posted by paco on 2006 05 25 at 09:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #20 – They’re still working on how to blame it on Bush.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 05 25 at 11:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. What’s all the fuss about??? NY gets hits with major hurricanes on a regular basis. Most of them are known as “Big Papi”…

      Go Sox!!

      Posted by kywong73 on 2006 05 25 at 11:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. Go Sox!!

      Freakin’ A!

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 05 26 at 12:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. 17 Rhhardin

      Hurricanes are in Jehovah’s arsenal for fighting the United Nations, false religions, goats and all intellectuals, …
      New York City is a likely first place to hit, for intellectuals.  You’d hit Montanna first to take out the goats.

      Jehovah and his Witlesses are gonna hafta work for it, is alls I can say.  First thing they’ll find out is that our goatly legions are widely dispersed and deeply entrenched; taking out Montana might take out some middle management and support staff, but it’ll be far from decisive, even if they CAN push a hurricane that far up the Missouri valley.  Ha!
      As for the false religions, it doesn’t matter what happens to them; new ones will spring up in the aftermath, just like they always have.
      And as for the intellectuals, well, as long as Wolcott is numbered amongst ‘em, an alliance is out of the question.  No goat blood for bad prose!

      Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 05 26 at 11:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. I, for one, would hate to see Wolcott drowned by Gaia.

      I’d much rather see him skinned alive, basted with fresh lemon juice, rolled in sea salt.  Then drawn, quartered & slow-roasted by Gaia, Kali, Nike and the whole badass goddess gang.  I bet they’d coat him with crushed habanero, comino and oregano as a dry rub.  I understand that your badass goddess likes her TV loud, her beer ice cold, and her slowroasted assholes spicy.

      Posted by Carl H on 2006 05 26 at 08:13 PM • permalink

 

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