Global warming assists unsuccessful males

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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:31 am

Some critters stand to gain (and how!) from global warming, according to New Scientist:

Sean Twiss, at Durham University, UK, and his colleagues studied the grey seals that mate at the North Rona colony in Scotland.

They found that the reduction in freshwater pools in dry years forced females to wander away from their usual breeding spots, and the watchful eye of their dominant male.

This allowed a greater number of previously unsuccessful males to copulate with them, and decreased the dominant males’ access to females. The result is an increase in genetic diversity in these populations of grey seals.

If you oppose global warming, you oppose the genetic diversity of Scottish grey seals. I sure wouldn’t want that on my conscience. By the way, if this pattern is also observed among humans, expect any number of “previously unsuccessful males” to abandon the green cause.

(Via the Tao of Defiance)

Posted by Tim B. on 12/06/2006 at 09:33 AM
    1. Yes, but wouldn’t greater access to the gene pool by non-dominant males lead to an increase of Sean Woodland-type seals – flopping misfits that blunder into outboard motors, wander cluelessly into killer whale “happy-hour”, and fall easily into the hands of circus impressarios who will force them to play “Yankee Doodle” on those little squeeze-ball trumpets? Sounds like an evolutionary glitch, to me.

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 09:50 AM • permalink


    1. Evolution, schmevolution.  All of us know what a losing streak feels like, and it’s good to see a few losers getting laid.

      Posted by slammer on 2006 12 06 at 10:09 AM • permalink


    1. This allowed a greater number of previously unsuccessful males to copulate with them, and decreased the dominant males’ access to females. The result is an increase in genetic diversity in these populations of grey seals.

      When they capture one of these Flippo’s, the news above will give a whole new meaning to the announcer’s introduction at Sea World and Disney, “Watch Flippo and his bouncing balls”.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 12 06 at 10:44 AM • permalink


    1. If the pictures of the guys at Global Warming events are any indicator, they think it will help losers like them get laid, too.  (Of course, it will be by those hairy-legged hags that are also in the pics, so I’m not sure it bothers me much.)

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 12 06 at 11:21 AM • permalink


    1. I don’t know or want to know about these wandering promiscuous seal sluts.  But what I do know is that Sean Twiss has the wussiest nancy-boy name I have ever heard. And it surprises me not to see that he’s a bestiality voyeur.
      This whole thing is just sick. I’m going to chase this from my mind with the latest copy of Popular Mechanics.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 12 06 at 11:52 AM • permalink


    1. Hm.  So Global Whatever/mating confusion could possibly explain the somewhat amorous advances of sea lions?  Or, it could be the sea lions, like everybody else, are just sick of Berkeley lefties.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 06 at 12:08 PM • permalink


    1. #6: Mammal-on-mammal crime. It’s a growing threat.

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 12:28 PM • permalink


    1. Hmmmm.

      Evolution, schmevolution.  All of us know what a losing streak feels like, and it’s good to see a few losers getting laid.

      Ok this beats anything I have to add.


      Posted by memomachine on 2006 12 06 at 12:31 PM • permalink


    1. If Glovular Warmance results in some jock’s ditzy gf wandering away from his towel and going to the scrublands behind the outhouses with me, than I say GW is a good thing for all creatures.

      And don’t worry about the recessive genes, Darwin’s Theory sorts all that out as our weaker progeny get eaten by sharks and the lotioned greased fat people on the beach.

      Posted by docweasel on 2006 12 06 at 01:05 PM • permalink


    1. Please. We all know this sort of terrible crime would never happen if only these brazen seal hussies would modestly clothe their uncovered meat in a burqa.

      Posted by Crispytoast on 2006 12 06 at 01:29 PM • permalink


    1. What I want to know is what did we in the West do that was so wrong to make the seal lions hate us so much.  I’m so sorry seal lions, we were wrong.
      tilts head

      Posted by rbj1 on 2006 12 06 at 01:52 PM • permalink


    1. Message for Head tilters

      Posted by Rob Read on 2006 12 06 at 01:57 PM • permalink


    1. #12: Love it, Rob!

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 02:01 PM • permalink


    1. More strange doings among our dumb chums.

      Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 02:15 PM • permalink


    1. What’s “copulate”?

      Is that…like, talk to or make eye contact, or something?

      I’ve done that with many some my sister.

      Posted by rinardman on 2006 12 06 at 05:57 PM • permalink


    1. So that’ll be Global Womanising then?

      Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 06 at 06:12 PM • permalink


    1. Finally the missing Russian lake mystery is solved. It was a cunning plan to get laid.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 06 at 08:08 PM • permalink


    1. Well, less cold water will certainly help my breeding prospects…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 06 at 09:19 PM • permalink


    1. I gather from this story that horny naturalists who were observing the seal colony, waited for the females to wander from the dominant male. They then copulated with them in order to increase the genetic diversity? Damn nature lovers.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 06 at 09:23 PM • permalink


    1. Never underestimate the power of us RWDB’s:

      NASHVILLE, Tenn.—An American Airlines flight from Washington D.C. to Dallas made an an emergency landing in Nashville Monday after passengers reported smelling the odor of struck matches.

      American Airlines Flight 1053 landed safely and 99 passengers on the plane were taken off the plane as an investigation was begun, according to The Tennessean.

      Bomb-sniffing dogs found the burned matches in the cabin, the newspaper reported.

      The FBI talked to a woman who admitted that she struck the matches in an effort to conceal flatulence.

      Take that Gaia!

      Posted by Nic on 2006 12 06 at 09:28 PM • permalink


    1. Maybe she always wanted to be member of the Blue Angels, Nic?

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 12 07 at 12:43 AM • permalink



      Does this mean us guys get to enjoy a summer of love before the apocalypse hits?

      (sorry for the crappy joke, I really wanted to use the phrase ‘summer of love’. When you think about the origin of the term, it’s ironic that hippies are so opposed to global warming.)

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 12 07 at 06:37 AM • permalink


    1. I thought unsuccessful males opposed global warming to get laid.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2006 12 07 at 08:39 AM • permalink


    1. We can only pray the offspring of these slutty seals will be the first ones clubbed by our blood spattered Canadian bretheren…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 12 07 at 12:11 PM • permalink


    1. WoW
      Only if they are sufficiently cute and cuddly, and furry.


      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2006 12 07 at 04:39 PM • permalink


    1. And as long as I get that Labrador Slugger baseball bat for Christmas that I’ve been hinting around abootabout, WOW & J.M.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 12 07 at 07:33 PM • permalink


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